Keeper of the Keys

Lets all sigh together. Ready? 1…2…3… SIIIIIIGH! Did that feel good? If you let out a deep, long sigh, it should have felt like some of your weights were lifted away. I hope it feels like that. I sigh even when I feel okay. Even if I’ve had a good day, I’ll let out a good sigh to release the tension I may be holding subconsciously. Ease the tension in your shoulders with a few sighs a…

Holy crap. I am 26 today… that doesn’t even feel real. How am I already past a quarter of a century? I still feel like I’m only 18 and waiting to graduate high school! Now I can rent a car and file my taxes under “independent”. And am forced to pay for my own health insurance. One moment you’re 14 and reading Twilight for the first time, the next you’re turning 26 and wishing the clock would…

I am a ball of anxiety lately. I recently did something exciting but I won’t see the results from it for over a week. And I have no guarantees that I will even have a good ending. I’m trying not to say what it is so I won’t jinx myself, or put out there what I’m striving for, only for it to blow up in my face. I am not someone who can sit around after I do something. I like to constantly check…

Life Update – Nov. 2021

I have some things I need to say which I have been thinking about and contemplating and discussing with my mom for a long time. I am quitting school… again lol. Yeeaaah…. this was not a light decision. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, because it’s been so hard on me. I simply think I do not posses the mental fortitude it takes to get through a four year degree. At least…

Redo: Choosing Me in [2021] !

This post is honestly a long time coming. It only took 3 years for me to go from “I’m going to choose me” to “I do choose me.” Being a fat woman in this world has its challenges. Namely, the judgemental looks from others, the not so subtle pointing out of low-carbs options from your grandparents, and lets not even get started on the lack of cute AND affordable clothing. As a healthy – albeit fat…

hey guys. i am… ugh. stuck in a rut lately. i cant write, i cant film, and i have no creative energy. all i wanna do is lay in bed and read yaoi comics (truth). i think if i was able to form ideas, i’d be in a much better place, but the creator block is serious right now. so i’m reaching out, and asking for help. if you have any ideas for content you’d like to see from me, be it a video or…

the biggest reason i brought this blog back to life is to prepare for when i move overseas. but it’s also a creative outlet. lately i’ve been using youtube as my outlet (the makeup videos), however, i do still want to write. writing is my first love, after all. its something i’d like to make a career from one day. all that heaviness aside, the reason i’m writing today is to release a short…

What I’ve been up to lately…

I have found a passion for youtube again! About once a week now, I’ve been posting kpop makeup recreation videos. It’s been really fun, and not only does it force me to engage in something that makes me happy, but it makes me be creative with makeup, with editing, and it forces me out of my comfort zone. I’ve been really enjoying this new hobby, as it’s kept me busy and engaged in something,…

Resurgence of Y2K Fashion&Beauty

I am here to talk about fashion. For a very long time I have been interested in fashion. Not really on the production aspect, but on how fascinating trends can be. Remember when all we wore was yoga pants? Or that year we adopted the “sorority girl” look of baggy shirts and leggings and riding boots? Oh, you don’t? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you sported that look, and I trust you not to…

I tried to summon my inner Park Jisung today by attempting a makeup look he sports in the music video fro NCT Dream’s newest title track, ‘Hot Sauce’. I should’ve suspected it wouldn’t be entirely feasible with my complete lack of a silver makeup instrument, never mind the fact I didn’t even have silver eyeshadow. But I tried my hardest, filmed it, and I don’t think it came out half bad! Video…

Letting go…

Good morning. It’s a weird day when I find myself awake this early. My dog woke me up around 5AM and I just haven’t been able to fall back to sleep since. I even did some chores I’ve been neglecting aha. Currently, I’m laying in bed again, looking around at my room. For those who may not know, I made the decision in February to move abroad soon. And by “soon”, I mean in a couple years. Tryna…

What is your selfish thing you’re missing during this pandemic? As in, what’s the one dumb, silly thing you miss and wish you were still able to do? Or even… what’s the thing you took for granted and can’t believe how desperately you wish you could do it again? I’ll go first: (more…)