we ain't ever getting older --

I’m sure all of your clients appreciate how thorough you are when it comes to tattooing them. Not in public, huh? Well, then one day you have to come over and test your theories to see how accurate they are.

Perfect. My door is always open whenever you want to indulge in some SVU. American Horror Story doesn’t make your head hurt when you are high? That show seems pretty intense to watch.  

Hey, I’ve just been waitin’ for the invitation, beautiful.

Oh okay. Are you that kid that looks for the animal in the house to hang out with at a party?

Haha, not exactly, but if that’s the image you get of me, I ain’t gonna try and change it.

Thank you for still giving me hope! I don’t think she died… she’s somewhere out there. I can feel it!! I’m already on the poster making. Do you think you could help me put them up? 

You got it dude. We’re going to have the flashiest posters out there so people know what they’re lookin’ for. It wouldn’t be the first time I heard about a fish hoppin’ out of their bowl. But if that’s the case I hope she’s in water. Anyways, we’ll find her, dude.

Ah so your a piggyback social butterful then lol. That must be exhausting with the constant parties. And you are so not a potato! 

Oh god no, I’m not a social butterfly at all. I’m the kid at a party that’ll be in the back of the room not mingling at all.

So I realized I haven’t made any of my own posts since last Saturday. Right. If anyone wants to know, yes I make pancakes and watch cartoons every Saturday morning. I didn’t think I needed to post about that again though. 

Anyway. 

I worked today, and I always love that. Hosting a little girl’s 7th birthday party is actually fun, people. Best of all, if I’m lucky, I get to keep the balloons (yes, I know!!!) and get a free slice of cake! But none of that even matters, ‘cause I was greeting with some – very disturbing – news when I got home.

So one of my fish, Luna Abrams… she’s missing. She’s a gorgeous purply/blue… SHE IS MISSING, PEOPLE…

Seriously, what’s going on?! Someone didn’t take her, did they? She’s very temperamental and she won’t survive outside of her home!!

Of course, you don’t. It took you three hours, so I know you had to take your time and go into detail with everything. Depends on the type of distraction~ 

True, but not when it comes to watching good television shows. We should watch it together, and I will sure you how interesting it can be. What kind of shows do you watch? 

I mean it is my job so I can’t really half-ass anything. That wouldn’t cool of me at all. I can think of like three different things to distract you but none can be done in public.

You have to show me a picture sometime! I bet it is really intricate knowing you. Yeah right, I would have distracted you the whole time. Seeing your face would have been enough of a distraction for me to take a break, though.~

Which means that you should watch it too! No, I usually try to watch a few, but I end of falling asleep while Netflix still plays the episodes. 

You got it, babe, you know I always take pictures of my work. And duuuh I never half ass anything. You act like distractions would be a bad thing, beautiful~

That sounds pretty productive to me. What did she get that took three hours of your precious time? Time that could have been spent with me, by the way. 

Law and Order SVU. I watch it at least once a day. 

She got some roses with vines and shit. It came out really damn awesome though, I’m so proud of it. Hah, you could’ve came to chill at the shop while I was working. Plus you were the one studying~

I spent the whole day studying for my exam, and now I’m ready to relax while watching Netflix and drinking wine. It might not sound like the most exciting Saturday night, but after studying all day, I would rather have a night in. Hopefully, the rest of you did something productive today too. 

I spent three hours doing a back piece for a girl today. i think that counts as pretty productive, yeah?

Alright awesome! I’ve never met an animal that doesnt like me so we’ll see. Yeah youre a social butterfly over there. 

Hardly. My girlfriend has parties and people consistently in the apartment. I’d prefer maybe one or two people if we must have them there. She’s the social butterfly -- I’m a goddamn potato.

Oh, gosh. I have no idea. I’ve only ever watched a few movies and that’s because Chris Evans/Hemsworth are both totally cute. Um.. Can I cop out and say Captain America? 

Alright, alright. I’ll accept Captain America for now but we’re going to give you a legit superhero lesson, girl. There’s way more to a superhero than being ‘cute’.

CARTER: Well, I might get another cat but I think two is probably the most I'd ever have. Otherwise I might as well be saying I'm gonna spend the rest of my life alone. Hopefully that's not the case.

I realized I said dog and not cat. I’m sorry it’s been a long day and I’m delirious. Oh my gosh. That’s really fucking cool. I need to come meet him! Sorry I’m totally just inviting myself over, that’s not weird at all. 

Hey, you’re good, babe. You can totally come and hang out with him -- he’s kind of a dick though, but he’s cool with meeting new people. My apartment is rarely ever empty so I doubt you’ll be the only one chillin’ in there.

I’ll make your day better since you made mine by making you my favorite person of the year. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. It’s alright, doll. I’m managing well enough that all my sanity is kind of intact. People are gross, write that on my grave. Where did they come from and can they go back? 

I explored the city today and have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of weird old men who live here. For example, one guy at Starbucks got into an argument with me because he said season nine of Scrubs was the best season. Which, he’s just down right wrong. I mean, a teaching hospital? Come on.

Anyway… hello residents of Boston. I’m Izzy Puckerman.

What’s up Izzy Puckerman. I hope you wiped the floor with that guy, for fuckin’ real and didn’t end up getting lost anywhere in Boston -- it’s pretty fuckin’ daunting sometimes.

Naw I get it. You picked out a super clever name and don’t want people to think its shit. What kinda dog is it? I don’t know if you said or not? I was too focused on the name! 

He’s a Bombay cat. I didn’t say, nah. Most people just care that I legit own a black cat, which I guess is pretty interesting.

I guess that’s true for most people, but definitely not for me. I run on basically no sleep and with coffee and double shots running through my veins, and I have A’s in all my classes. I guess I have superpowers, or something.