Baby You're a Star Masterlist // Pornstar Satoru headcanons
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight
Pairings- Pornstar Satoru x shy f!reader
Summary- You meet Satoru Gojo at a wild Hollywood party, insanely out of place, waiting for your friend to show up. The two of you hit it off, spending time together, and share a kiss, but you're a good girl, and you just don't do this, but he is the top pornstar there is, and the top .01 % on OnlyFans. Once you find out, you know there's probably no match, as Satoru doesn't date, and you don't sleep around, but after meeting, you keep in touch- and soon Satoru can't get hard without thinking of you, and you get over curious, and join a livestream.
Warnings- mentions of sex and sexwork, masturbation, mentions of drug use, weed smoking, Gojo has an OF hehe, lots of longing, pining, Satoru can't get hard if it's not you, whipped ass Satoru, explicit sexual content, angst -
Finished - WC 85k 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 Playlist -Ao3 link
Headcanons below!
Pornstar Satoru is one of the most famous pornstars there are, hence him constantly wearing jet black shades and hoodies at times, he never knew just who he'd run into that would recognize him. Whether it's his flicks or his OF - he's the top .01 % - he gets a lot of notice, especially in bustling LA. But, he loves what he does, he especially loves watching his abs flex in the camera as he hits one of his lovely costars from the back.
Pornstar Satoru loves making the costars and girls he collabs with actually cum, where they're shaking and squirting all over his latex covered cock. Not that fake shit like he watches them do with other men- no Satoru makes sure to slam that curved tip against their cervix, to roll his thumb right on their clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Perhaps that's the secret to how famous he really is, along with his good looks.
Pornstar Satoru makes so much money from each shoot and is in high demand, so he can have whoever he wants as a co star. They line up to have a chance at him, watching his videos and aching for a chance to feel his cock hitting them deeper than damn near anyone could hit, to say they got to shoot with the Satoru Gojo. This just makes Satoru fuck them harder, smiling right at that camera, as women dream it's really them that have captured his pretty blue eyed gaze.
Pornstar Satoru thinks it's a pretty damn good life, being rich for fucking beautiful women on camera, as he's inhaling a blunt after a threesome shoot with his best friend - and often costar- Pornstar Suguru, as they talk about who got the girl to squirt more, right in the middle of a bouguie party in East LA. Suguru let's out a throaty laugh, while Satoru narrows his blue eyes. 'I had her cumming so hard she was shaking' he says, taking a hit and handing it back to Suguru. 'Nah, that was all for me, did you see...'
Pornstar Satoru stops listening when he sees you enter the room, completely out of place at the coke filled, booze filled party, wearing a pair of black glasses that cover half of your pretty face, and a little nervous look as you stand there, in a cute white pleated skirt and a big oversized sweater. Satoru smacks Suguru on the shoulder then and he coughs up smoke. 'Shit what is it?' Satoru looks back at you, when you're handed a drink, some guy flirting as you look down shyly. 'Who's she?' Suguru blinks a bit curiously. 'I don't know, she's pretty though'
Pornstar Satoru scowls at Suguru who snorts in laughter then. 'Satoru we don't have 'girlfriends' and she... looks like a good girl' your eyes catch his then, across the room, like something shifts as you smile sweetly, before peering at your phone, biting your lip in concentration. 'I'm talking to her' Suguru chuckles as he watches his friend, and Satoru feels his heart race when he comes too close to you, something he can't say he's felt, even pleasing countless beauties, nothing has quite altered him as your sweet turn of lips, as you look down at your converse, so out of place you're fucking adorable. 'Hey sweetheart... Satoru Gojo' he says, introducing himself with ease, expecting you to maybe notice him, get starstruck, fuck women get wet just near him, but you simply grin, and your name whispers through his mind when it spills from your lips.
Pornstar Satoru has you sitting with him later, you fall into easy conversation, you're a little gamer nerd, you love science and the environment, he just bets you were head of your ecology club in college, which you quickly confirm, all while you're in awe of just how beautiful this man is. He's sweet, he's sexy... you feel he shouldn't even be talking to you. You're pretty but... he's experienced so clearly, by every way he moves, he's worldly, so confident, and you've never really left this little part of LA, but the two of you can't stop talking, to the point you forget what brought you here.
Pornstar Satoru laughs with you, as you're sitting side by side, and he lights up a blunt, leaning back on the burgundy couch on the outskirts of the party, inhaling it deep into his lungs. 'Want a hit, sweets?' he murmurs, you take it nervously, putting it to your lips and inhaling a bit, before coughing, covering your mouth. Satoru chuckles, 'you're cute' earning your cheeks heating up. 'Can you tell I don't do this?' you're nervously tapping your leg now. 'Yeah, what does bring you here, doesn't seem your...' 'my scene?' he nods then. 'yeah, that.'
Pornstar Satoru watches avidly as you sip on your drink, wincing at the strong liquor. 'Well, my friend invited me over, but she's running late' Satoru grins now. 'Party time is different, everyone comes late, that's on time. About fifteen minutes late' 'oh no I came early!' you smack your own forehead, giggling along with him. 'Are you like... a model, or an actor?' you ask, eyeing him and his baby blues, the cheekbones so perfect, those lips that wrap the blunt again. 'You could say I'm a bit of both,' he muses, then spits out his drink when you ask 'what are you in!?'
Pornstar Satoru coughs just a bit, he's never been ashamed of what he does, but he's nervous for some reason to tell you. Why, he doesn't know. 'I'm... into some indie flicks' you brighten up then. 'Oh, let me know, I love lowkey films! I bet you're great' Satoru sighs, gulping down the rest of his drink and eyeing your cup. 'Want more?' you frown now, maybe you're asking too much, or offending this actor that you don't recognize him!? You nod, the amount of people around you making you press against this friendly, pretty white haired stranger just a little more.
Pornstar Satoru has another drink, eyeing the sea of bodies undulating in the extravagant mansion, and soon the two of you are dancing together you're cute and so awkward, Satoru's enjoying this far, far too much. He has plenty of costars and fans come up to the two of you, but he's too interested in showing you how to move your hips to pay them any mind, when finally your friend comes. Satoru instantly recognizes her, she's a pretty famous co star he's collabed with on her Onlyfans not long ago. When she sees you giggling and enjoying yourself so much, she damn near drags you away, making Satoru curse.
Pornstar Satoru eyes you when your friend whispers in your ear- 'you really don't recognize him!?' you blink curiously, looking at him more closely. 'Should I?' she sighs then, eyeing Satoru up and down. 'He was in my OF videos, we collabed' you heat up furiously then. 'I never watched your videos! I just subbed to be supportive!' she giggles. 'You're so cute, I thought you at least watched some?' you shake your head nervously. 'I don't really watch, is he... like an OnlyFans guy?' Satoru is back over with Suguru now, while you sip your drink, feeling your body warm up. 'He's the top pornstar there is, the collab was like a dream. He's really sweet but you should know is all, you're kinda...' you glare. 'kinda what?' she giggles again. 'you're just... sweet, emotional, is all'
Pornstar Satoru expects you to be done with him once you find out, after all you just seem innocent, uncorrupted for this city, not the kind of girl to be at this party where lines are being snorted off bodies, and people are naked and jumping in the pools, a heady, wild atmosphere. But you smile at him, as you murmur - 'he's sweet?' to your friend. She nods then. 'He is, but just know... he doesn't date so, it'd only be physical' you frown at that now, that's not something you think you can do, you're about as demisexual as it gets, hence your very limited experience. 'He doesn't date at all?' Your friend gently touches your shoulder. 'No, love, I'd hate to see you hurt'
Pornstar Satoru catches you before you leave later that night, when you are just feeling too out of place, his big hand wrapped around your delicate wrist, earning you looking up at him. He can't stop thinking how pretty your eyes would look rolled back, how good your lips would feel wrapped around his cock, as you relax a bit, turning and looking up. 'Headed out already?' he asks softly, you flush as you remember just what he does for a living, your friend had just described his cock in far too vivid detail. 'It's not really my thing, but I'm glad we met, Gojo' you smile so cute then, leaning up and pecking him on the cheek, his arm wraps your waist as he leans down, inhaling that sweet vanilla scent cloying to your skin.
Pornstar Satoru pulls you in closer, blue eyes staring under snowy lashes. 'Can I... get your number?' Satoru has never asked for a number a day in his life, but he delights in watching you shift nervously, nodding as you tuck your hair behind your ear. 'Yeah, I'd like that' he exchanges numbers, tilting your chin up then, watching the way your eyes dilate, the color spread on your pretty cheeks. 'She told you?' you clear your throat, nodding a bit, still being captured by his fingers. 'I don't judge at all, Gojo, I'd still like to be... friends...' your whisper is met with the most subtle kiss on your lips, shooting desire hot and heavy until Satoru releases you, plump lips smirking- 'sure, sweets, we can be friends'
Pornstar Satoru can't get you off his mind, the feel of your skin on his, the sweet sigh against his lips. He is on a big shoot and - the Satoru Gojo that never gets soft - is having trouble keeping it up, to the amusement of his costar Pornstar Sukuna. Satoru scowls at his comments, just picturing your sweet lips against his for that brief moment. A man who just fucks and fucks, and doesn't feel, is hung up just on some fucking kiss. He has to take a break after pleasing his costar with his fingers, she's cumming so much she doesn't notice, but the directors wonder why he's off. He's in his own dressing room, eyeing the phone, hands shaking as he decides to type a message - 'could you give me a picture, sweets, to save as your caller id?'
Pornstar Satoru finds his cock is right back on hard when you send one quickly, just a cute selfie with a little peace sign, but he sees your glossy fucking lips, the teeth indentations he aches to rub the tip of his cock on, along with just a hint of your breasts. Your nipples press against the thin material of your little tee shirt- Pokemon, he notices, smiling- his cock throbbing. 'Can I get one too?' you're biting that lower lip nervously as you ask, getting a picture of him shirtless then, doing nothing to stifle the curiosity in your mind, your heart racing as you seee his body. 'You at a shoot?' you ask in the messages, he hesitates before answering - 'yes' - and somehow you feel jealous of whoever his costar is. You message a - kill it, Gojo! - despite the feeling in your tummy, little do you know you're drowning his fucking mind when he performs later, feeling the star squirting all over his latex covered cock.
Pornstar Satoru can't stop texting you that week, he can't even get hard if he doesn't look at that picture, and you can't stop your curiosity, when you friend mentions he's doing a live stream. Since Satoru can hardly perform, he's decided to masturbate on live cam, in minutes making more than he'd make in a shoot, all while having your picture propped up. People are chatting, watching, dollars by the hundreds being tipped every moment, fuck he's making way more than he usually would, and he can think of you. He laughs softly, abs flexing as he hits the right angle, reading the comments, making you dripping wet, this isn't what you do!?
Pornstar Satoru is stroking his wet, slick cock that's glistening, up and down with his huge hand, and you feel your pussy clench, breath coming faster, unsure whether to look away or keep staring, meanwhile he's picturing you in all sorts of positions, on your knees, a fucking mating press. He's shutting his eyes for a moment, grinning as the viewers go crazy. 'I know, it's pretty, huh?' he spits right on that long, veiny cock of his, pinching his pink tip and whining, white lashes fluttering open right when he sees a familiar name enter the chat.
Your name.
Pornstar Sukuna hcs here // Pornstar Suguru hcs here // Onlyfans Nanami hcs here
Kofi link (if you feel generous & wanna buy me a ☕️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ilia drinking your breast milk and sucking on your tis so hard milk comes out
Night In
Warning: Smut, mdni, nipple play, breastmilk kink
Ilia x fem!reader
Ilia had been quiet all evening, the kind of quiet that settled after a long day of training and video review. The house was dim, only the soft light of the living room lamp and the low hum of the dishwasher in the kitchen. You sat curled against him on the couch, legs tucked under a throw blanket, scrolling mindlessly through your phone while his arm rested heavy across your shoulders.
You felt him shift first. His fingers traced lazy circles on the bare skin of your upper arm, then drifted higher, brushing the side of your neck. When you tilted your head toward him, he was already watching, eyes darkened and half-lidded.
“Come here,” he murmured, voice low.
You set the phone aside without a word. Ilia pulled you fully into his lap, one hand sliding under the hem of your soft cotton tank top to rest against the warm skin of your lower back. The other cupped your jaw as he leaned in and kissed you—slow at first, tasting, then deeper, tongue sweeping against yours until you made a small sound into his mouth.
The kiss turned heavy fast. His hands moved with purpose now, pushing the tank top higher until the soft fabric bunched under your arms. You lifted them so he could strip it off completely, leaving you in just the thin nursing bra you still wore most evenings. Ilia’s breath caught as he looked down at the full swell of your breasts, the faint outline of dampness already darkening the fabric where your milk had let down earlier.
He kissed you again, harder, one hand sliding up to cup the heavy weight of your left breast through the bra. His thumb stroked over the nipple, and you felt the familiar tight ache bloom under the pressure. When he squeezed gently, a small wet spot spread wider against the pad of his thumb.
Ilia pulled back just enough to look at your face, a slow, wicked curiosity in his eyes.
“Still full?” He asked quietly.
Your cheeks warmed. “A little. Lena only took one side earlier.”
He made a soft sound of interest and reached behind you to unhook the bra. The cups fell away, and the cool air kissed your bare skin for only a second before his hands were there, lifting the soft, full weight of your breasts, thumbs brushing over the already-peaked nipples. A thin bead of milk appeared at the tip of the left one almost immediately.
Ilia stared at it for a long moment, then leaned down and dragged the flat of his tongue across the nipple, catching the drop. The taste made him hum low in his throat. He sealed his mouth over you and sucked—not gently this time.
Your head tipped back against the couch cushion with a sharp inhale. The strong pull sent a jolt straight down between your legs. Milk flooded his mouth in a warm rush, and he swallowed, then sucked harder, cheeks hollowing, drawing more from you with steady, rhythmic pulls. His free hand kneaded the other breast, fingers pressing and rolling until a second thin stream of milk leaked down over his knuckles.
He switched sides without warning, latching onto the right nipple with the same hungry pressure. The suction was firm, almost rough, the kind that made your toes curl and your hips shift restlessly in his lap. Every strong draw pulled another wave of milk free, and Ilia drank it down like he had all the time in the world, tongue working against the sensitive tip while his lips stayed sealed tight.
When he finally released you with a soft wet sound, a thin trail of milk clung to his lower lip. He licked it away slowly, eyes glinting with pure mischief as he looked up at you.
“Milk does the body good,” he said, deadpan and completely unrepentant, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Building strong bones. Important for recovery.”
You let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh that turned into a soft moan when he immediately ducked back down and sucked hard on the left nipple again, drawing another heavy mouthful. He swallowed audibly, then murmured against your skin, still playing the smart-ass, “See? Already feeling better.”
He kept going, long minutes of it, alternating breasts, sucking until each one felt lighter and more sensitive, until your nipples ached in the best way and your shorts were thoroughly soaked. Milk ran freely now, coating his lips and chin, dripping onto the soft skin of your stomach.
One hand slid down between your legs, finding the damp heat through your sleep shorts, and he pressed two fingers against you through the fabric while he continued to nurse from you with that same deliberate, greedy pressure. Your hips rolled into his hand. The dual sensation—the strong suction at your breast and the firm pressure between your thighs—made your thighs tremble.
Only when you were panting and restless did he finally ease off, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to the damp curves of your breasts before looking up at you with dark, satisfied eyes. A faint sheen of milk still glossed his mouth.
“Still explorative?” You managed, voice unsteady.
Ilia’s mouth curved into that same smart-shit grin. He wiped a streak of milk from the corner of his lips with his thumb, then offered it to you. When you closed your lips around it and tasted yourself on his skin, his eyes went even darker.
“Just getting started,” he said quietly, and leaned in to kiss you again—slow, deep, and tasting of milk and heat—while his hands returned to your still-leaking breasts and began to play once more.
how do we feel about...a quickie (however you spell it) backstage during stars on ice practice? Like reader and ilia have been teasing each other all day and one of them snaps.
Also your writing has been distracting me from the Instagram stories as well 😅
I LOVE quickies
Stars On Ice
Warning: Smut, mdni, dirty talk
Ilia x fem!reader
The ice was still humming under the lights when practice finally breaks. Stars on Ice is in that mid-tour stretch where everyone’s a little frayed—skates clacking, coaches barking last notes, the arena half-empty and echoing. You’ve been circling each other all day. Lingering looks across the boards. A hand that stayed too long on your lower back when he guided you through a quick run-through. The way he kept “accidentally” brushing the inside of your thigh when he helped you lace up after the second session.
You’re both still in practice clothes—Ilia in black compression pants and a thin long-sleeve that clings to every line of him, you in your usual black tights and cropped hoodie. The rest of the cast is filtering toward the tunnel for water and notes. Ilia doesn’t follow.
He catches your wrist the second you’re both behind the heavy black curtain that separates the ice from the backstage corridor. The fabric is thick enough to muffle the arena noise, leaving only the low thump of distant music and the faint smell of ice and sweat.
His voice is rough when he leans in, mouth against your ear. “You’ve been doing that on purpose.”
You don’t get the chance to play innocent. His free hand is already sliding under the hem of your hoodie, palm flat and hot against the bare skin of your stomach. He walks you backward until your shoulders hit the cool concrete wall, the curtain brushing the side of your face.
“All day,” he mutters, kissing the hinge of your jaw. “Looking at me like that. Letting your hand drift lower every time you fixed my collar.” His thigh slots between yours, pressing up, and the friction makes your breath hitch. “You’re lucky I didn’t bend you over the boards in front of everyone.”
You tip your head back, giving him the line of your throat. “Maybe I wanted you to.”
That’s what does it.
Ilia makes a low, frustrated sound and kisses you hard—open-mouthed, a little desperate, the kind of kiss that says he’s been holding himself back for hours. His hands are already shoving your tights and underwear down just far enough. The cool air hits your skin for half a second before his fingers are between your legs, finding you already wet from the teasing.
“Fuck,” he breathes against your mouth. “You’ve been like this all practice?”
You nod, rolling your hips into his hand. He works two fingers into you without preamble, curling them just right, thumb circling. The angle is tight, rushed, perfect. You’re both breathing hard, trying to stay quiet while the rest of the cast is only a curtain and a short hallway away.
Ilia pulls his hand free only long enough to shove his own pants down. He’s hard, flushed, already leaking. He doesn’t bother with more teasing. He hitches one of your legs up around his hip, lines up, and sinks into you in one smooth, deep thrust that punches the air out of both of you.
Your head drops back against the wall with a soft thud. His forehead presses to yours. For a second he just stays buried, breathing through his nose, adjusting to the tight heat of you.
Then he starts moving.
It’s not soft. It’s the kind of quick, sharp rhythm that comes from hours of tension finally snapping. Short, deep strokes that keep him almost fully inside you the whole time. The wet sound of it is quiet but unmistakable in the narrow space. His hand covers your mouth when a soft moan slips out, eyes locked on yours, dark and intense.
“Quiet,” he whispers, voice strained. “Unless you want them to hear how wet you are for me.”
You bite the heel of his palm instead, and he groans softly, hips snapping harder. The wall is cool against your back; his body is burning hot against your front. Every thrust drags against that perfect spot inside you. You’re already close—have been for most of the day—and the risk of it, the hurried secrecy, only winds you tighter.
Ilia’s rhythm stutters. He drops his hand from your mouth to grip your thigh harder, keeping you open for him. “Come on,” he murmurs against your lips. “I’ve been thinking about this since warm-up. Give it to me.”
You do—quiet, shaking, clenching hard around him as the orgasm rolls through you in sharp waves. He follows almost immediately, burying his face in the side of your neck to muffle the low, broken sound he makes as he spills deep inside you, hips jerking through it.
For a few seconds neither of you moves. Just the sound of your breathing, the distant arena noise, the faint drip of melting ice somewhere nearby.
Ilia presses a softer kiss to the corner of your mouth, then another to your temple. He carefully lowers your leg and eases out of you, already reaching to tug your tights back up with surprising gentleness for how rough the last few minutes were.
“We’re not done talking about how much you were teasing me,” he says quietly, voice still rough. But there’s a small, satisfied smile pulling at his mouth as he fixes his own clothes. “Later. When we don’t have to be quiet.”
He smooths your hoodie down, then leans in one more time, lips brushing your ear.
“And next time you look at me like that on the ice… I am not waiting until we’re behind a curtain.”
He steps back just as someone calls his name from farther down the hallway. The curtain sways. Ilia gives you one last lingering look—heated, possessive, already promising more—before he slips back toward the ice like nothing happened.
You’re left against the wall, legs still a little unsteady, the evidence of him warm between your thighs, heart pounding harder than any run-through you’ve done all day.
Could you write something where maybe the reader is in a meeting (working from home) and ilia is under the desk teasing her the whole time (dom ilia smut pls)
He is such a little shit
Zoom
Warning: Dom!Ilia, smut, mdni, oral f receiving
Ilia x fem!reader
The Zoom meeting window glowed on your laptop screen, six faces in neat little boxes, your boss mid-sentence about Q3 projections. You sat at the desk in the home office, hair pulled back, blouse buttoned just high enough to look professional, camera angled carefully so nothing below your collarbones showed.
You felt the shift of air under the desk a second before his hands settled on your bare knees.
Ilia.
He’d been quiet as a shadow when he slipped into the room twenty minutes ago, closing the door with that soft, deliberate click that always meant trouble. You shot him a warning look. He’d only smiled—slow, dark, the kind of smile that never meant anything good—and dropped to his knees.
Now those big, warm hands slid higher, pushing the soft fabric of your skirt up your thighs inch by inch.
Your fingers tightened on the edge of the desk. You kept your face carefully neutral as your boss asked a question about the revised timeline.
“Y/N? Any thoughts on that?”
“I—” Your voice came out steadier than expected. “I think we can hit the original date if we cut the secondary review cycle. The data’s clean enough.”
Under the desk, Ilia’s mouth brushed the inside of your knee. A soft, open-mouthed kiss. Then another, higher.
You swallowed.
His hands kept moving, slow and proprietary, until the skirt was bunched around your hips and the cool air of the room kissed the thin lace of your underwear. He made a low sound of approval—quiet enough that the mic wouldn’t catch it—and hooked two fingers under the waistband.
Your breath hitched.
You unmuted yourself only when you had to speak again, answering another question with a calm you didn’t feel. The second you muted, Ilia tugged.
The lace slid down your thighs, over your knees, and disappeared somewhere under the desk. You were bare now, completely exposed, and the knowledge of it made your pulse hammer between your legs.
Ilia didn’t rush. He never did when he was like this—quiet, focused, in complete control. He simply settled between your spread thighs like he belonged there, one hand wrapping around your left ankle to keep you open, the other stroking slow circles along the soft skin of your inner thigh.
Then his mouth was on you.
A single, deliberate lick through your folds, slow enough that you felt every millimeter of his tongue. Your hips jerked. You bit the inside of your cheek hard and forced your eyes back to the screen.
Someone was talking about budget reallocations. You nodded along like you were listening.
Ilia’s tongue found your clit and stayed there, circling with maddening patience. Not enough pressure to push you over. Just enough to make you wetter by the second, enough that you could already feel yourself starting to drip on the chair.
You reached under the desk with one hand, fingers finding his hair, trying to guide him, to make him go harder.
His free hand shot up and caught your wrist. He pinned it against your own thigh without ever lifting his mouth, a silent, iron command: stay still.
Your stomach fluttered.
He licked you open with long, filthy strokes, then sealed his mouth over you and sucked—gentle at first, then harder. The wet sounds were soft but unmistakable in the quiet of the room. You prayed the laptop mic wasn’t sensitive enough to pick up.
“Y/N, you’re on mute,” your boss said.
You unmuted with a slightly shaky hand. “Sorry—yes. I agree with the phased rollout. We can absorb the first hit in marketing without touching headcount.”
The second you muted again, Ilia pushed two thick fingers inside you in one smooth thrust.
A tiny, broken sound escaped before you could stop it. You covered it with a cough, cheeks burning.
He curled those fingers and found the spot that always made your thighs shake, rubbing firm and steady while his tongue worked your clit in tight, relentless circles. Your free hand gripped the edge of the desk hard enough that your knuckles went white.
He was edging you on purpose. Every time your breathing got too sharp, every time your hips started to roll against his face, he backed off—lighter licks, slower fingers, just enough to keep you hovering right on the edge without letting you fall.
Fifteen minutes. Twenty. The meeting dragged on and on and he never stopped. He just kept you there, dripping and aching and completely at his mercy, while you had to keep answering questions in a professional voice that grew thinner by the minute.
When the final agenda item finally wrapped and people started saying their goodbyes, you were trembling. Your thighs were slick. Your clit throbbed so hard it hurt. You could feel how swollen you were against his tongue.
The second the last person left the call and the Zoom window closed, you slammed the laptop shut.
Ilia didn’t give you a second to breathe.
He surged up from under the desk, spinning the chair so you faced him fully, and dragged you to the edge of the seat. One big hand fisted in your hair, tilting your head back. The other shoved your blouse up, yanking the cups of your bra down so your breasts spilled free.
“Good girl,” he murmured, voice rough and low. “You stayed so quiet for me. Look at this pretty pussy—soaked just from having my mouth on it while you pretended to be all professional.”
He kissed you hard, letting you taste yourself on his tongue, then pulled back just enough to look at you.
“Hands on the armrests. Don’t move them.”
You obeyed instantly. The order sank straight into your bones.
Ilia shoved his sweatpants down just far enough to free his cock—already thick and hard and leaking at the tip. He didn’t tease any more. He lined himself up and pushed into you in one long, relentless thrust, burying himself to the hilt.
Your head fell back against the chair with a broken moan.
He fucked you like he’d been holding back the entire meeting—deep, hard strokes that made the chair creak and your breasts bounce with every snap of his hips. One hand stayed fisted in your hair; the other gripped your thigh hard enough to bruise, keeping you spread wide for him.
“This is what happens when you try to work from home and think I won’t take what’s mine,” he growled against your mouth. “You’re going to come on my cock right here at this desk, and then you’re going to thank me for it.”
He changed the angle, grinding against your clit on every thrust, and the orgasm that had been building for almost half an hour finally ripped through you. You cried out, legs shaking, pussy clenching hard around him as you came.
Ilia didn’t slow down. He fucked you straight through it, chasing his own release with short, brutal strokes until he buried himself deep and came with a low, guttural groan, pulsing hot inside you.
For a long moment the only sound in the room was your breathing.
He stayed buried in you, forehead resting against yours, one hand still tangled in your hair—gentler now, stroking.
“Next time you schedule a meeting,” he murmured, voice softer but still dark with satisfaction, “you’re going to sit at this desk knowing exactly what I’m going to do to you under it.”
You laughed weakly, still trembling, and kissed the corner of his mouth.
Sitting in godawful DC traffic rn…got me thinking ab sucking ilia off while he’s driving…
This pic was TOO good to not use come onnn😂😂😭🥵
I-495
Warning: Smut, mdni, blowjob
The beltway was a parking lot. Red brake lights stretched as far as the eye could see under the dull gray DC sky, and the only sound was the low idle of engines and the occasional frustrated honk.
Ilia had one hand draped over the top of the steering wheel, the other resting on your thigh, thumb stroking absently. He’d been quiet for the last ten minutes, jaw tight, eyes flicking between the cars ahead and the GPS that kept cheerfully estimating another forty-seven minutes.
You shifted in the passenger seat, turning toward him. His eyes dropped to you for half a second before going back to the road.
“Don’t,” he warned, already reading the look on your face. His voice was low. “We’re in the middle of traffic.”
You didn’t answer. Just reached over, unbuckled your seatbelt, and leaned across the center console. Your hand settled on his thigh, then higher, until your palm pressed against the growing hard line of his cock through his jeans.
Ilia’s breath left him in a sharp exhale. “Y/N—”
You popped the button open. The zipper hissed down. He was already half-hard, thick and warm when you wrapped your fingers around him and pulled him free. The second your hand closed around the bare skin he cursed under his breath, hips shifting once against the seat.
You bent lower.
The first slow drag of your tongue up the underside made his whole body go rigid. His free hand left the wheel and landed heavily on the back of your head, not pushing yet, keeping still. You licked again, slower, then took the head into your mouth and sucked gently, tasting the salt of him already.
“Fuck,” he muttered. The car inched forward. He had to let go of your hair to shift into drive again, then immediately put his hand back, fingers sliding into your hair. “We’re going to get pulled over.”
You didn’t care. You took him deeper, cheeks hollowing, tongue working the underside while your hand stroked what your mouth couldn’t reach. Every time the traffic stopped he groaned quietly, the sound almost swallowed by the low music playing through the speakers. Every time it started moving again his thighs tensed under your cheek and his grip in your hair tightened like he was trying to keep control.
You pulled off just long enough to look up at him. His eyes were now dark, fixed on the road, but his lips were parted and there was a flush high on his cheekbones.
“You’re so hard,” you murmured against the wet tip, then took him back in, slower this time, letting him feel every inch.
Ilia’s hips gave a tiny, involuntary thrust. “You’re going to make me crash.”
You hummed around him in answer, the vibration making his fingers flex hard in your hair. The next time the cars stopped completely you went all the way down, nose brushing the soft hair at the base of him, throat working. His breath punched out of him like he’d been hit.
“Jesus—Y/N—”
You stayed there, swallowing around him, until his hand started trembling against your head. Only then did you ease back, sucking hard on the way up, and do it again. And again. The wet sounds filled the quiet car. Outside, people sat in their own vehicles scrolling their phones, completely unaware that the man next to them was fighting not to come with your mouth wrapped around his cock in the middle of fucking I-495.
His voice had gone rough. “I’m close. Baby, I’m—fuck, I’m close.”
You didn’t stop. You sped up instead, one hand stroking the base while you worked the head with tight, wet pulls of your lips. His breathing turned ragged. The hand in your hair finally pushed, holding you down as his hips jerked once, twice—
He came with a broken, quiet sound, flooding your mouth while the cars around you started moving again. You swallowed everything, slow and thorough, until he was twitching and oversensitive. Only then did you ease off, give the tip one last soft kiss, and sit back up, wiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb, putting him back into the confinements of his jeans.
Ilia was still gripping the wheel with both hands now, chest rising and falling hard. He glanced at you once, eyes dark and a little wrecked, then looked back at the road like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
“…You’re evil,” he said roughly.
You just smiled, rebuckled your seatbelt, and settled back against the seat like nothing had happened.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
How about reader and ilia doing „something“ over the phone bc he is at a competition far away and she misses him? 👀
Call Me
Warning: Smut, fingering, dirty talk, mdni
Ilia x fem!reader
The hotel room in Beijing was quiet except for the low hum of the air conditioner and the distant city noise bleeding through the thick glass. Ilia sat on the edge of the bed in a loose black shirt and sweatpants, hair still damp from the shower after the short program. His phone was propped against a water bottle on the nightstand, FaceTime already connected, waiting.
You answered on the second ring, curled sideways on the couch in your shared Virginia house wearing an old hoodie drowning you. The living room lights were low. Your hair was messy from the long day of work and the empty space beside you in bed later.
“Hey,” you said, voice soft.
Ilia’s face filled the screen. The sharp line of his jaw, the faint dark circles under his eyes from jet lag and early morning ice, the small, tired smile that still managed to look like it belonged only to you.
“Hey, babe.” His voice was lower than usual, rough from the cold rink air. “Miss you.”
“I miss you too.” You shifted, pulling the hoodie tighter. “How was it?”
“Clean. Quad Axel, clean triple Axel. Second after the short.” He shrugged one shoulder, but his eyes stayed on you. “Doesn’t matter much when you’re not here.”
You smiled, small and aching. “I’m proud of you.”
Silence stretched for a few seconds, comfortable but heavy. He watched you the way he always did when the distance started to get under his skin—like he was cataloguing every detail so he wouldn’t forget how you looked when you were soft and missing him.
“What are you wearing under that hoodie?” He asked eventually, voice casual, but the way his gaze dropped told you it wasn’t casual at all.
You glanced down. “Just a tank and underwear. It’s late.”
“Show me.”
Your stomach fluttered. You sat up a little, angling the phone so he could see the soft black tank stretched over your chest, the hem of the oversized hoodie riding high on your thighs. His eyes darkened immediately.
“Fuck,” he murmured. “Take the hoodie off.”
You hesitated only a second, then pulled it over your head and tossed it aside. The tank was thin. He could see the outline of your nipples already tightening under the fabric.
“Good girl.” His voice had dropped another register. “Now the tank.”
You peeled it off slowly, letting him watch. The cool air of the living room kissed your skin. You were left in nothing but a pair of plain black boyshorts. Ilia’s tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek.
“Jesus, look at you.” He shifted on the bed, adjusting himself without trying to hide it. “Been thinking about you all day. Every time I landed something I wanted to call you just to hear your voice. Then I got back here and all I could think about was how you sound when you’re close.”
Heat pooled low in your stomach. “Ilia…”
“Touch your tits for me.” It wasn’t a request. “Slow. Like I’m the one doing it.”
You brought both hands up, cupping yourself, thumbs brushing over your nipples. A soft breath left you. On the screen, Ilia’s hand drifted down to rest over the obvious bulge in his sweatpants.
“Harder,” he said. “Pinch them. I know how you like it.”
You obeyed, rolling the sensitive peaks between your fingers until the ache sharpened into something hotter. Your hips shifted restlessly against the couch cushion.
“Fuck, that’s it.” His breathing had changed. “Are you wet already?”
“Yes.”
“Show me.”
You slid one hand down your stomach and under the waistband of your boyshorts. Your fingers slipped through slick heat. You lifted them into the camera so he could see the shine.
Ilia let out a low, rough sound. “Christ. Take the underwear off. Spread your legs for me.”
You hooked your thumbs in the sides and worked them down your legs, kicking them away. Then you opened your knees, angling the phone lower so he had a clear view of everything. The cool air made you shiver.
“Look at that pretty cunt,” he said, almost to himself. “Missed it so fucking bad.” His hand finally pushed into his sweatpants. You watched the movement of his wrist as he stroked himself slowly. “Put two fingers in. Nice and deep. I want to watch you fuck yourself like it’s my cock.”
You pushed two fingers inside, the stretch familiar and nowhere near enough. A quiet moan slipped out. Ilia’s eyes were locked on the screen, pupils blown.
“That’s it. Curl them. Find that spot you always push back against when I’m inside you.”
You did, and your hips jerked. The wet sound of your fingers moving in and out filled the quiet room. Ilia’s breathing grew heavier. He shoved his sweatpants down just enough to free himself—thick, hard, the head already flushed and wet. He stroked in time with your fingers.
“Talk to me,” he said. “Tell me what you need.”
“You,” you whispered. “I need you. Miss the way you fill me up. Miss how heavy you feel on top of me.”
“Fuck.” His fist tightened. “I’d be so deep right now. Holding your legs open so you couldn’t close them even if you wanted to. Making you take every inch while I kissed that soft spot under your ear.”
Your fingers moved faster. The tension in your stomach coiled tighter.
“Add your thumb,” he ordered. “Rub your clit. Don’t be gentle.”
You pressed your thumb against the swollen bud and circled hard. A broken sound left your throat. Ilia’s hand sped up, the wet sound of him stroking himself audible now.
“Gonna come for me?” His voice was strained. “Gonna soak those fingers while I watch?”
“Yes—Ilia—”
“Do it. Let me hear you.”
The orgasm hit hard and sudden, rolling through you in waves. Your thighs shook. You kept working your fingers through it, gasping his name, watching him lose the last of his control on the other side of the world. His head tipped back, jaw tight, a low groan tearing out of him as he came hard across his stomach and fist.
For a long minute the only sound was both of you trying to catch your breath.
Ilia eventually looked back at the camera, eyes soft again, mouth curved in that private, wrecked little smile he only ever gave you.
“Miss you,” he said quietly. “So fucking much.”
You smiled, still floating, still aching for the real weight of him. “Miss you more. Come home soon.”
“Two more days,” he promised. “Then I’m not letting you out of bed for a week.”
How about reader and ilia doing „something“ over the phone bc he is at a competition far away and she misses him? 👀
Call Me
Warning: Smut, fingering, dirty talk, mdni
Ilia x fem!reader
The hotel room in Beijing was quiet except for the low hum of the air conditioner and the distant city noise bleeding through the thick glass. Ilia sat on the edge of the bed in a loose black shirt and sweatpants, hair still damp from the shower after the short program. His phone was propped against a water bottle on the nightstand, FaceTime already connected, waiting.
You answered on the second ring, curled sideways on the couch in your shared Virginia house wearing an old hoodie drowning you. The living room lights were low. Your hair was messy from the long day of work and the empty space beside you in bed later.
“Hey,” you said, voice soft.
Ilia’s face filled the screen. The sharp line of his jaw, the faint dark circles under his eyes from jet lag and early morning ice, the small, tired smile that still managed to look like it belonged only to you.
“Hey, babe.” His voice was lower than usual, rough from the cold rink air. “Miss you.”
“I miss you too.” You shifted, pulling the hoodie tighter. “How was it?”
“Clean. Quad Axel, clean triple Axel. Second after the short.” He shrugged one shoulder, but his eyes stayed on you. “Doesn’t matter much when you’re not here.”
You smiled, small and aching. “I’m proud of you.”
Silence stretched for a few seconds, comfortable but heavy. He watched you the way he always did when the distance started to get under his skin—like he was cataloguing every detail so he wouldn’t forget how you looked when you were soft and missing him.
“What are you wearing under that hoodie?” He asked eventually, voice casual, but the way his gaze dropped told you it wasn’t casual at all.
You glanced down. “Just a tank and underwear. It’s late.”
“Show me.”
Your stomach fluttered. You sat up a little, angling the phone so he could see the soft black tank stretched over your chest, the hem of the oversized hoodie riding high on your thighs. His eyes darkened immediately.
“Fuck,” he murmured. “Take the hoodie off.”
You hesitated only a second, then pulled it over your head and tossed it aside. The tank was thin. He could see the outline of your nipples already tightening under the fabric.
“Good girl.” His voice had dropped another register. “Now the tank.”
You peeled it off slowly, letting him watch. The cool air of the living room kissed your skin. You were left in nothing but a pair of plain black boyshorts. Ilia’s tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek.
“Jesus, look at you.” He shifted on the bed, adjusting himself without trying to hide it. “Been thinking about you all day. Every time I landed something I wanted to call you just to hear your voice. Then I got back here and all I could think about was how you sound when you’re close.”
Heat pooled low in your stomach. “Ilia…”
“Touch your tits for me.” It wasn’t a request. “Slow. Like I’m the one doing it.”
You brought both hands up, cupping yourself, thumbs brushing over your nipples. A soft breath left you. On the screen, Ilia’s hand drifted down to rest over the obvious bulge in his sweatpants.
“Harder,” he said. “Pinch them. I know how you like it.”
You obeyed, rolling the sensitive peaks between your fingers until the ache sharpened into something hotter. Your hips shifted restlessly against the couch cushion.
“Fuck, that’s it.” His breathing had changed. “Are you wet already?”
“Yes.”
“Show me.”
You slid one hand down your stomach and under the waistband of your boyshorts. Your fingers slipped through slick heat. You lifted them into the camera so he could see the shine.
Ilia let out a low, rough sound. “Christ. Take the underwear off. Spread your legs for me.”
You hooked your thumbs in the sides and worked them down your legs, kicking them away. Then you opened your knees, angling the phone lower so he had a clear view of everything. The cool air made you shiver.
“Look at that pretty cunt,” he said, almost to himself. “Missed it so fucking bad.” His hand finally pushed into his sweatpants. You watched the movement of his wrist as he stroked himself slowly. “Put two fingers in. Nice and deep. I want to watch you fuck yourself like it’s my cock.”
You pushed two fingers inside, the stretch familiar and nowhere near enough. A quiet moan slipped out. Ilia’s eyes were locked on the screen, pupils blown.
“That’s it. Curl them. Find that spot you always push back against when I’m inside you.”
You did, and your hips jerked. The wet sound of your fingers moving in and out filled the quiet room. Ilia’s breathing grew heavier. He shoved his sweatpants down just enough to free himself—thick, hard, the head already flushed and wet. He stroked in time with your fingers.
“Talk to me,” he said. “Tell me what you need.”
“You,” you whispered. “I need you. Miss the way you fill me up. Miss how heavy you feel on top of me.”
“Fuck.” His fist tightened. “I’d be so deep right now. Holding your legs open so you couldn’t close them even if you wanted to. Making you take every inch while I kissed that soft spot under your ear.”
Your fingers moved faster. The tension in your stomach coiled tighter.
“Add your thumb,” he ordered. “Rub your clit. Don’t be gentle.”
You pressed your thumb against the swollen bud and circled hard. A broken sound left your throat. Ilia’s hand sped up, the wet sound of him stroking himself audible now.
“Gonna come for me?” His voice was strained. “Gonna soak those fingers while I watch?”
“Yes—Ilia—”
“Do it. Let me hear you.”
The orgasm hit hard and sudden, rolling through you in waves. Your thighs shook. You kept working your fingers through it, gasping his name, watching him lose the last of his control on the other side of the world. His head tipped back, jaw tight, a low groan tearing out of him as he came hard across his stomach and fist.
For a long minute the only sound was both of you trying to catch your breath.
Ilia eventually looked back at the camera, eyes soft again, mouth curved in that private, wrecked little smile he only ever gave you.
“Miss you,” he said quietly. “So fucking much.”
You smiled, still floating, still aching for the real weight of him. “Miss you more. Come home soon.”
“Two more days,” he promised. “Then I’m not letting you out of bed for a week.”
Idk if ur taking requests/take requests but could you do one where reader is a figure skater aswell and she has a disastrous performance and is crushed about it later and complaining to ilia and he fucks the sadness away
Support
Warning: Smut, mdni
Ilia x fem!figureskater reader
You step off the ice with legs that feel like lead, the roar of the crowd a distant, mocking hum in your ears. The lights of the arena blur through the sting of unshed tears as you make your way to the kiss-and-cry. Your program was supposed to be your comeback—clean triple Axel, solid jumps, that intricate footwork sequence you’d drilled for weeks. Instead, it was a nightmare: a popped Salchow that turned into a fall, a shaky landing on the Lutz that cost you precious points, and a final spin that felt more like spinning out of control than artistry. The scores flash up on the screen—far below what you needed. Personal best? More like personal disaster.
You force a smile for the cameras, mumble something polite to the interviewer about “learning experiences,” but inside, you’re crumbling. By the time you reach the locker room and change into sweats, the weight of it all crashes down. This was your shot. Nationals. Eyes on the next Olympics cycle. And you blew it.
Ilia finds you in the quiet hallway outside the athletes’ area, his hoodie pulled low, that familiar concerned furrow between his brows. He’s fresh from his own practice earlier, still smelling faintly of the ice and his cologne—clean, sharp, like cedar and citrus. He doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls you into his arms, right there against the wall where anyone could walk by. His body is warm, solid, the kind of strength that always makes you feel small and safe at the same time.
“Baby,” he murmurs into your hair, his voice low and Russian-accented in that way that always hits you deep. “I saw. Talk to me.”
The words spill out in a rush—how your edge caught wrong on the takeoff, how the nerves got the better of you after that first mistake, how it felt like every hour in Oberstdorf, every early morning session, every bruise and blister had been for nothing. You’re crying now, hot tears soaking into his chest as you clutch his shirt. “I fucked it up, Ilia. I’m supposed to be better than this. What if I’m not cut out for this anymore?”
He listens, really listens, his hands stroking down your back in slow, soothing circles. Then he tilts your chin up, his blue eyes intense and steady. “Hey. One program doesn’t define you. You’re the strongest skater I know—the one who pushes me every damn day on the ice. This? This is just ice. Temporary. You’re forever.” His thumb brushes away a tear. “Let me take care of you tonight. No more thinking. Just us.”
You nod, letting him lead you out of the arena and back to the hotel. The elevator ride is silent, his hand firm on your lower back. The second the door to your room clicks shut, the air shifts. Ilia cups your face and kisses you—soft at first, tender, like he’s pouring all that reassurance into you. But it deepens quickly, hungry, his tongue sliding against yours as he backs you toward the bed.
“Strip for me,” he says quietly, voice rough. “I want to see all of you.”
You peel off your sweats and top, suddenly aware of how exposed you feel—not just physically, but raw from the failure still clinging to your skin. Ilia watches, shedding his own clothes until he’s bare, his body a masterpiece of lean muscle from years of quads and triples, cock already half-hard and thickening under your gaze. He pulls you down onto the bed, covering you with his weight, and kisses along your jaw, your neck, sucking gently at the spot that always makes you shiver.
“You’re mine,” he whispers against your collarbone, hands roaming—cupping your breasts, thumbs circling your nipples until they’re tight peaks. “Every part of you. The skater who falls, the one who gets back up… all of it.” His mouth follows, hot and wet, tongue flicking over one nipple while his fingers dip between your thighs, finding you already slick. He groans softly. “So wet for me already. My sweet, beautiful girl.”
You arch into him, the complaints and self-doubt fading under his touch. He works you open slowly at first—two fingers thrusting deep, curling just right against that spot inside you that makes stars burst behind your eyes. His thumb presses circles on your clit, steady and relentless. “Let it go, baby. All that shit from the rink. Feel me instead.”
When you’re trembling on the edge, he pulls back, positioning himself between your legs. His cock nudges at your entrance, thick and hot, and he locks eyes with you as he pushes in—inch by inch, stretching you perfectly. “Fuck, you feel good,” he breathes, forehead pressed to yours. “Tight. Mine.”
He starts slow, intimate thrusts that grind deep, his hips rolling in that precise way he moves on the ice—controlled power. You wrap your legs around him, nails digging into his back as he hits that perfect angle again and again. The sadness cracks open, replaced by heat, by the sound of his low grunts and the slap of skin on skin.
But Ilia knows you need more tonight. He flips you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up so you’re ass-up, face buried in the pillows. His hand comes down in a firm smack on your ass—sharp, stinging just enough to jolt you—and then he’s slamming back in, harder now, one hand fisted in your hair, the other gripping your hip hard enough to leave marks.
“This is what you need, isn’t it?” he growls, pounding into you with deep, punishing strokes. “To forget. To feel me fucking the doubt right out of you.” Every thrust drives the failure further away—the missed jumps, the low scores, all of it dissolving in the wet sound of him claiming you completely. He reaches around to rub your clit, relentless, until you’re crying out, clenching around him.
“Come for me,” he demands, voice strained. “Right now. Let go.”
The orgasm crashes through you like a perfect program—waves of pleasure that make your toes curl, your body shaking as you soak his length. Ilia follows right after, burying himself deep with a guttural moan, spilling hot inside you as he collapses over your back, kissing your shoulder, your neck, murmuring praises in Russian and English.
He doesn’t pull out right away. Instead, he rolls you both to the side, still connected, his arms wrapped tight around you. His hand strokes your hair, your arm, anywhere he can reach—tender again, the roughness melting into care. “You did good out there, even if it didn’t feel like it. And tomorrow? We train. We fix it. Together.”
You nestle back against his chest, the exhaustion and release leaving you boneless and warm. The disaster on the ice feels distant now, softened by the steady beat of his heart and the way he holds you like you’re his greatest prize. Ilia presses a kiss to your temple. “I love you. All of you—the quad attempts, the falls, the fire. Always.”
Sooo… could you please write wrote an Ilia Malinin smut?
Basically he and reader had been together for three years and now they really want a baby, so yeah, could write about that.
Also, if you add like the pregnancy test moment where they find out she’s pregnant.
Thank you!
Coming Soon: Future Skater
Warning: Heavy smut, creampie, mdni, pregnancy
Ilia Malinin x fem!reader
Three years with Ilia had flown by in a whirlwind of triple Axels, late-night training sessions, and the kind of love that felt both exhilarating and grounding. He was your everything—the quad god who melted into a tender, teasing partner the second he walked through the door. Lately, though, the conversations had shifted. No more “someday.” You both wanted a baby. Now.
Tonight was different. Ilia had come home from practice with that focused glint in his eyes, the one he usually reserved for competitions. He’d pulled you into his arms the moment he saw you, kissing you slow and deep like he was already imagining the future.
“You sure about this?” he murmured against your lips, his hands sliding under your shirt to trace the curve of your waist. His voice was low, that slight Russian accent thickening with want. “Because once we start… I’m not holding back.”
“I’m sure,” you whispered, tugging at the hem of his hoodie. “I want this with you. A little one with your eyes and my stubbornness.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest as he lifted you effortlessly onto the bed. “Then let’s make a baby, solnyshko.”
Clothes disappeared in a heated rush—his hoodie, your leggings, his compression shirt that clung to every ridge of muscle earned from years on the ice. Ilia hovered over you, his body heat enveloping you as he kissed down your neck, sucking lightly at the spot that always made you arch. His hands were everywhere: cupping your breasts, thumbs circling your nipples until they peaked, then drifting lower to part your thighs.
“Fuck, you’re already so wet for me,” he groaned, sliding two fingers through your folds and pressing them inside with practiced ease. You gasped, hips bucking as he curled them just right, stroking that spot that made stars burst behind your eyelids. He watched you with dark, hungry eyes, his free hand pinning your hip down. “Gonna fill you up tonight. Keep you full until it takes.”
You moaned his name, fingers threading through his hair as he worked you open, adding a third finger and scissoring gently. The stretch was perfect, building that deep ache. When he finally withdrew, he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting you with a filthy groan that made your core clench.
Ilia positioned himself between your legs, his cock heavy and leaking against your thigh. He was thick, veined, the head flushed dark—he rubbed it along your slit, teasing your clit until you were whimpering.
“Please, Ilia… inside.”
He pushed in slow at first, inch by inch, letting you feel every ridge as he stretched you open. “So tight… always so perfect for me.” Once seated fully, he stilled, forehead pressed to yours, breathing hard. “Love you. So much.”
Then he started moving. Deep, rolling thrusts that hit every sensitive spot, his hips grinding against your clit on every downstroke. You wrapped your legs around his waist, heels digging into his back as he picked up pace. The bed creaked beneath you, the sound mixing with skin-on-skin and your mingled moans.
“Harder,” you begged, nails raking down his back.
Ilia growled, flipping you onto your hands and knees without pulling out briefly. He gripped your hips and drove back in deeper from behind, the new angle making you cry out. One hand reached around to rub tight circles on your clit while the other tangled in your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head back.
“That’s it, baby. Take it. Gonna pump you so full.” His thrusts grew punishing, the wet slap of his hips against your ass echoing. You pushed back to meet him, lost in the rhythm, the pressure coiling tighter and tighter.
He leaned over you, chest to your back, biting at your shoulder as his hand sped up on your clit. “Come for me. Want to feel you milking my cock when I fill you.”
The orgasm crashed over you hard—walls fluttering, then clamping down around him as pleasure ripped through you. Ilia followed right after, burying himself deep with a guttural moan, hips stuttering as he spilled hot and thick inside you. He stayed there, pulsing, grinding lazily to push every drop deeper.
You collapsed together, him pulling you into his chest, still buried inside. Gentle kisses rained on your temple, your neck. “Round two in a bit,” he whispered with a lazy smile. “Gotta make sure it sticks.”
A couple weeks later, the morning arrives when the test is supposed to be taken.
You’re both up early. Ilia pretends he’s only making coffee, but you catch him glancing toward the bathroom every thirty seconds. You close the door, follow the instructions with hands that refuse to stay steady, and set the stick on the counter.
Three minutes has never felt so long.
When you open the door again Ilia is right there, leaning against the wall like he hasn’t moved. His eyes search your face.
You hold the test out between you.
Two lines.
Clear. Unmistakable.
For a second neither of you speaks. Then Ilia’s breath leaves him in a rough, disbelieving sound. He takes the test carefully, stares at it, and looks back at you like the world just tilted.
“You’re—” His voice cracks. He swallows. “We’re—”
You nod, throat tight.
Ilia sets the test down with exaggerated care, then pulls you in so hard you almost lose your balance. His arms lock around you, face buried in your neck, and you feel him shaking—tiny, almost invisible tremors.
“Holy shit,” he whispers against your skin. “Holy shit.”
You laugh, watery and helpless, and hold him tighter. His hand slides down to rest over your stomach, palm warm and protective, like he’s already guarding something neither of you can see yet.
“Three years,” he murmurs. “And now this.”
You tip your head back just enough to see his face. His eyes are bright, soft, a little wild.
“Yeah,” you say. “Now this.”
Ilia kisses you—slow, deep, tasting like coffee and pure relief—then rests his forehead against yours again.
“I’m going to be so annoying,” he warns, already smiling. “You’re going to get so tired of me asking if you’ve eaten.”
“I know.”
“And I’m going to talk to it. Constantly. Even when it’s the size of a blueberry.”
“I know.”
He kisses you once more, gentler this time, and his hand never leaves your stomach.
My one request is more dom ilia smut pls and thanks 🫶💕
You ask. You receive.
Night Out
Warning: Dom!Ilia, heavy smut, fingering, edging
Ilia x fem!reader
The bass from the sponsor’s private club still throbbed in your bones as you stepped out into the humid night. The event had been for one of Ilia’s biggest equipment deals—an exclusive after-party with executives, other skaters, and too many people who thought they owned a piece of him. You smiled through every handshake. Ilia kept a hand on the small of your back the entire time, fingers pressing just a little too hard whenever someone lingered too close to you.
Your argument started in the VIP lounge, quiet enough that no one else heard, sharp enough that it still cut.
“You didn’t have to laugh like that when he asked if I was ‘the one who keeps you grounded,’” Ilia had said, voice low and cold against your ear. “You didn’t have to let him touch your arm either.”
“He was being polite,” you snapped back. “And you were the one who disappeared for twenty minutes with the marketing team and left me standing there like decoration.”
He looked at you then—really looked—and something mean and hungry had settled behind his eyes. “Decoration. Is that what you think you are tonight?”
You both didn’t speak again for the rest of the night. Not in the car. Not in the elevator. Not when the hotel door clicked shut behind you and the city noise finally died.
Ilia walked past you without a word, shrugging out of his jacket. The rings on his fingers caught the low light—thick silver bands, one with a dark stone, another etched with something Cyrillic. He never took them off for events like this. You watched him roll his sleeves up to his elbows, the metal flashing every time he moved.
“Take the dress off.”
Your pulse kicked. “Ilia—”
“I didn’t ask.” His voice was quiet, almost bored. “Take it off. Now.”
You reached back and unzipped. The black dress slid down your body and pooled at your feet. You stood there in the lace bra and panties he’d chosen for you earlier, heart hammering. He didn’t look impressed. He just pointed at the bed.
“On your knees. Facing the headboard. Hands on the mattress.”
You climbed up. The second you settled, he was behind you, one knee on the bed, the cool metal of his rings dragging slowly up the back of your thigh. He hooked two fingers into the waistband of your panties and yanked them down to your knees, leaving them there like a restraint.
“You spent the whole night performing for strangers,” he said, almost conversational. “Smiling. Letting them look at what’s mine. Letting them think they could touch.” His palm cracked across your ass, hard enough to sting. “And now you’re going to sit here and take what I give you until I decide you’ve earned an orgasm. Understand?”
“Yes,” you whispered.
He leaned over you, chest to your back, and one hand slid around your throat—not tight yet, just resting there, the rings cool against your warmed skin. His other hand reached between your legs and stroked through your already slick folds, slow and deliberate.
“Already wet,” he murmured. “Of course you are. You get off on making me jealous.” Two fingers pushed inside you without warning, curling. “Don’t you?”
You tried to rock back onto his hand. He stopped moving completely.
“I asked you a question.”
“Yes,” you breathed.
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I get off on it.”
He hummed, low and mean, and started fucking you with those two fingers in long, deep strokes. The rings on his hand brushed your clit every time he pulled out. You were already shaking when he suddenly stopped again, fingers still buried inside you.
“Don’t you dare come.”
You whimpered. He pulled his fingers out, wiped them across your lower lip, then pushed them into your mouth.
“Clean them.”
You sucked as Ilia watched you for a moment, then withdrew and shoved you forward so your chest hit the mattress, ass still high. The sound of his belt was loud in the quiet room. Fabric rustling. Then the blunt head of his cock dragged through your wetness, once, twice, teasing.
He didn’t give you the tip. He just kept sliding back and forth, coating himself, the metal of his rings pressing into the soft flesh of your hip where he held you steady.
“Beg.”
“Please—”
“Not good enough.” He tapped the head against your clit, light and cruel. “Beg like you mean it.”
“Please, Ilia, please fuck me— I need it, please—”
He pushed in halfway and stopped. The stretch made you moan, but he only gave you that much, holding your hips in an iron grip so you couldn’t take more.
“You think you deserve the rest after the way you acted tonight?” His voice was soft and vicious. “After you let that bastard’s hand linger on your arm like he had any right?”
You tried to push back. He held you still and pulled almost all the way out.
“Answer me.”
“No,” you gasped. “I don’t— please just—”
He slammed the rest of the way in on one hard thrust. The force knocked the air from your lungs. His rings dug into your hip as he started fucking you in deep, punishing strokes, the sound of skin on skin filling the room.
Every time you started to climb, he slowed. When your thighs trembled and your moans got high and desperate, he stopped completely, buried to the hilt, and waited until the edge faded. Then he started again—harder, meaner.
The third time he edged you, you were almost sobbing into the sheets. He reached around, gathered a mouthful of spit, and let it drip onto the small of your back before smearing it down between your cheeks with his thumb.
“Look at you,” he said, voice rough with satisfaction. “Shaking. Dripping. Still not allowed to come.” His hand slid up your spine and closed lightly around your throat again, the rings cool and heavy against your pulse. He squeezed just enough to make your vision spark at the edges while he kept fucking you in short, brutal thrusts.
“You’re going to stay right on that edge until I say otherwise. And if you come without permission, I’ll put you on your knees and use that pretty mouth until you cry. Clear?”
“Yes— fuck— yes, Ilia—”
He spat again, this time onto the side of your face, then used two fingers to smear it across your cheek and into your open mouth. The dominance of it made you clench hard around him. He growled and tightened the hand on your throat just a fraction more.
“Greedy little thing. You love it when I’m mean to you.”
He edged you two more times after that—once with his cock buried deep and his fingers circling your clit so slowly it was torture, once with you flipped onto your back so he could watch your face while he fucked you in shallow, controlled strokes and denied you every time your eyes started to roll.
When he finally decided you’d had enough, he yanked you to the edge of the bed, shoved your knees up, and drove in hard. One hand stayed wrapped lightly around your throat. The other pinned both your wrists above your head, the metal of his rings pressing into your skin.
“Come,” he ordered, voice low and dark. “Come on my cock right fucking now.”
You shattered with a broken cry, pulsing hard around him. He fucked you through it without slowing, chasing his own release, and when he came it was with a rough groan and his forehead pressed to yours, still holding your throat, still mean even in the aftershocks.
He didn’t pull out right away. He stayed buried deep, breathing hard, thumb stroking once over the marks his rings had left on your wrist.
“Next time you decide to test me in front of sponsors,” he murmured against your mouth, “remember how this felt.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ilia slammed the front door harder than necessary, the sound echoing through the house like a slap. His practice had been absolute garbage—quads that felt heavy and under-rotated, a fall on a simple triple Axel that shouldn’t have happened, and his Dad’s disappointed silence cutting deeper than any yell. His body ached, his ego was bruised, and all he wanted was to punch something or disappear. Instead, he kicked off his shoes, leaving them scattered in the entryway, and stalked toward the kitchen.
You were there, earbuds in, humming along to some playlist as you wiped down the counters. You wore one of your old shirts and tiny sleep shorts, your hair pulled up in a messy bun. The sight of you usually melted his mood instantly, but today the frustration just coiled tighter in his chest.
You glanced up, pulling out an earbud. “Hey, how was— whoa. That face. Practice sucked, huh?”
“Understatement,” Ilia muttered, yanking open the fridge for a water bottle. He twisted the cap off too aggressively, water sloshing over his hand. “Felt like I was skating on fucking concrete. Everything off. Dad didn’t even have to say it—I know I looked like shit out there.”
You set the cloth down, leaning against the counter with that knowing little smirk you got when you were about to poke at him. “Poor baby. Did the ice bite back today? Or was it the quad Axel throwing a tantrum again?”
He shot over a glare, but there was heat under the pissiness. “Don’t start with me. Not in the mood.”
“Oh, come on,” you teased, stepping closer, your voice lilting with that bitterness that always got under his skin. “You’re the Quad God, right? One bad session and you’re stomping around like a toddler who dropped his ice cream. Want me to kiss it better, or should I just let you brood in peace?”
That did it. The banter snapped something inside him—the mix of the sass and the way you looked at him like you could handle whatever storm he brought home. Ilia crossed the space between you in two strides, grabbed you by the waist, and crushed his mouth to yours.
It wasn’t gentle. His lips claimed yours roughly, tongue pushing in without asking, tasting the faint sweetness of whatever tea you’d been drinking. You gasped into the kiss, hands flying up to grip his shoulders, but you melted fast, kissing him back just as hard. He could feel you smile against his mouth for half a second before it turned hungry.
“Fuck your mood,” he growled against your lips, biting your lower one. “You’re gonna fix it.”
Before you could sass back, he bent down, hooked his hands under your thighs, and lifted you clean off the floor. You wrapped your legs around his waist instinctively, a surprised laugh breaking free that turned into a moan when he ground his already-hard cock against your core through your clothes.
“Ilia—bedroom?” You breathed, but he was already moving, carrying you down the hall like you weighed nothing. His hands dug into your ass, fingers bruising as he kneaded your flesh.
“Yeah. Bedroom. Now.”
He kicked the door open, crossed to the bed, and tossed you onto it. You bounced once, hair coming loose from your bun, cheeks flushed. You propped yourself up on your elbows, eyes dark with want, but that teasing spark still there. “Bossy today. Rough practice really got you worked up, huh?”
“Shut up.” Ilia yanked his hoodie off, shirt following, revealing the lean, muscled torso you never got tired of. His sweatpants were next, cock springing free—thick, flushed, already leaking at the tip. He crawled over you, caging you in, and ripped your shorts down your legs in one rough tug, shirt shoved up to expose your breasts.
No preamble. He gripped your jaw hard, thumb pressing into your cheek as he forced your mouth open. “You talk too much when I’m like this. Open.”
Your eyes flashed with heat, but you obeyed, tongue out just a little. Ilia leaned over you and spat directly into your mouth, watching it land on your tongue. “Good girl. Swallow.”
You did, with a filthy little moan that made his cock twitch. “Fuck..”
He didn’t let you finish. Shifting up, he straddled your chest, knees pinning your arms lightly to the bed. One hand fisted your hair, the other guided his cock to your lips. “Take it. All of it.”
He pushed in without waiting, sliding over your tongue until he hit the back of your throat. You gagged, eyes watering instantly, but your hands came up to grip his thighs, pulling him deeper instead of pushing away. That was his girl—always ready for him, even when he was mean about it.
“Fuck yes,” he groaned, hips snapping forward in short, brutal thrusts. Face-fucking you hard, the wet sounds of your throat obscene in the quiet room. Spit dripped down your chin, tears streaking your cheeks, but you kept your eyes on his, that mix of submission and challenge driving him insane. “Look at you. Such a dirty little girl for me when I’m pissed. Choking on my cock like it’s gonna fix my practice.”
He pulled out just enough for you to gasp a breath, strings of saliva connecting your lips to his glistening shaft, then drove back in deeper, holding your head still so he could grind against the tight heat of your throat. Your muffled moans vibrated around him, your hips squirming uselessly beneath him, thighs pressing together for friction.
Ilia reached back with one hand, shoving your legs apart and plunging two fingers into your soaked heat without warning. You cried out around his cock, the sound garbled and perfect. “So fucking wet already. You love it when I use you like this, don’t you?”
He fucked your face in a steady, punishing rhythm, fingers curling inside you, thumb rubbing your clit roughly. Every thrust made you gag and drool more, your breasts bouncing with the force. When he felt your throat fluttering around him, close to the edge yourself from just his fingers, he pulled out completely, strings of spit breaking across your flushed face.
“Not yet.” He gripped your face again, fingers digging into your cheeks as he leaned down, spitting into your open, panting mouth once more. “Swallow. Then I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow.”
You swallowed obediently, voice hoarse when you spoke. “Then do it, Quad God. Stop talking and wreck me.”
That snapped the last of his control. Ilia flipped you onto your stomach, yanking your hips up so your ass was in the air, face pressed into the mattress. He lined up and slammed into you in one brutal thrust, bottoming out with a groan. No slow build—just raw, deep pounding, the slap of skin on skin loud and filthy.
“Fuck— so tight,” he snarled, one hand fisting your hair to arch your back, the other slapping your ass hard enough to leave a red print. He set a punishing pace, hips snapping forward like he was trying to punish the ice through your body. Every thrust dragged against that spot inside you that made you scream even louder.
You pushed back against him, moaning his name in those broken cries he loved. “Ilia— harder— yes—”
He reached around, gripping your throat lightly from behind, pulling you up so your back was against his chest. His other hand stayed on your hip, fingers bruising as he railed you. “You’re mine. Say it.”
“Yours— fuck, I’m yours,” you gasped, voice raw from the face-fucking.
He turned your head just enough to crash his mouth to yours again, messy and biting, then pulled back and spat onto your tongue once more while still buried deep inside you. You clenched around him at the degradation, coming hard with a shuddering cry, pussy pulsing and gushing around his cock.
But Ilia didn’t stop. He fucked you through it, flipping you onto your back again so he could watch your face—mascara smudged, lips swollen, spit and his earlier mess still shining on your chin. He pinned your wrists above your head with one hand, the other gripping your jaw again as he kept thrusting, slower now but deeper, grinding against your clit with every stroke.
“Look at me,” he demanded. When your hazy eyes met his, he spat into your mouth a final time. “Swallow. Then cum again. I want to feel it.”
You did, and the combination sent you over the edge once more, body shaking beneath him. Only then did Ilia let go, burying himself to the hilt and spilling deep inside you with a loud and guttural groan, hips stuttering through the aftershocks.
You both collapsed together, sweaty and wrecked. Ilia stayed inside you for a long moment, forehead pressed to yours, the pissy mood finally bleeding out. “Sorry I was an asshole earlier,” he mumbled, kissing you softly now, almost tender.
You laughed breathlessly, running fingers through his damp hair. “Don’t be. I like you like this sometimes. Means I get the rough Quad God instead of the broody one.”
He chuckled, nuzzling your neck. “Yeah? Round two in the shower after I make you something to eat?”
“Only if you promise to be that dominating again.”
Could you maybe do a fic of ilia and reader were so in love in till he started focusing on skating more. And so they break up. But then she finds out she pregnant and hides it from him because she doesn’t want to give up on figure skating. And so she has the baby. And then maybe she runs into his mom and Liza at the store and the clearly see the baby. And his mom was always really close with reader so she agrees to keep it a secret. But Liza later that night accidentally lets it slip to ilia. And then you can run with the ending I’ll be happy with anything! Also I love your work!
Thank you so much for the kind words.
Hidden
Ilia Malinin x femskater!reader
Thank you so much for the kind words.
The rink lights had always felt like home to you—cold, bright, unforgiving, but honest. That was where you’d first fallen for Ilia Malinin. He was a force of nature on the ice, throwing quads like they were warm-ups, his focus laser-sharp even then. But off the ice? He was yours. Laughing into your neck after late practices, stealing kisses in the parking lot, promising forever between whispered dreams of Olympic golds and shared futures. You’d both been rising stars in the skating world, training partners turned lovers, the kind of couple everyone whispered about with envy.
Until the focus shifted. His skating became everything. Triple Axels turned into Quad Axels, then attempts at history-making combinations. Sponsorships, media, endless travel. Dates turned into quick texts. Nights together became “I need to visualize the jump again.” You tried to support him—God, you did—but the distance carved a canyon between you. Arguments grew sharper, his exhaustion making him snap, your hurt making you withdraw. One rain-soaked night outside the rink, it ended.
“I can’t keep coming second, Ilia,” you’d said, voice breaking. “I love you, but I have my own career too.”
He hadn’t fought as hard as you’d hoped. “Maybe this is what we both need right now.”
The breakup shattered you. Weeks blurred into months of throwing yourself into training, landing your own jumps cleaner, pushing for that elusive senior-level breakthrough. Then the nausea hit. The missed period. Two pink lines on a test in your bathroom, hands shaking.
Pregnant. With Ilia’s baby.
Fear crashed over you. Telling him meant derailing everything—his Olympic push, your own skating dreams. You’d fought so hard to get here; you couldn’t give it up, not yet. Not when single motherhood on the competition circuit already felt impossible. You made your choice in silence. Hid the bump under loose hoodies and strategic layering. Skated through the first trimester with gritted teeth, adjusted your programs as the second brought fatigue and careful balance. Your coach thought it was stress. You powered through, landed jumps that felt heavier every day, and told yourself it was worth it.
The baby came in the quiet off-season: a perfect little girl you named Hazel. Light hair like her father’s, eyes that already held that Malinin spark. You managed with help from your family, training lightly when you could, dreaming of a comeback. Motherhood softened you in ways you hadn’t expected—late nights rocking her, whispering skating stories like lullabies—but the ache for Ilia never left. You followed his results from afar, heart swelling with pride even as it broke again.
****
Months passed. Hazel was six months old now, chubby-cheeked and curious, bundled in a carrier against your chest as you navigated the grocery store aisles in your quiet suburb. You’d moved closer to family for support after the birth, keeping your head down and your social media skating-focused but baby-free. The last thing you expected was the familiar voice behind you in the baby aisle.
“Oh my goodness…”
You froze, turning slowly. There stood Ilia’s mom, Tatiana, and his sister Liza, both staring at the carrier with wide eyes. Hazel cooed softly, waving a tiny fist.
Tatiana’s hand flew to her mouth. She’d always been like a second mom to you—warm, encouraging, the one who’d teased you about future grandkids with a wink during family dinners. The recognition hit her instantly.
“Is that…?” Her voice was soft, eyes glistening as she stepped closer, gently touching Hazel’s cheek. “She looks just like him.”
Liza stood beside her, phone halfway out of her pocket, face cycling through shock, confusion, and something like hurt. “Wait, this is… yours? And Ilia’s?”
You swallowed hard, glancing around the empty aisle. “Please. I can explain, but not here. I didn’t want to… I couldn’t pull him away from skating. Not when he was finally getting everything he wanted.”
Tatiana’s expression softened with understanding—and that deep, maternal love that had always included you. She pulled you into a careful hug, mindful of the baby. “Sweetheart, I wish you’d told us. But I see you. You’re doing this on your own while still chasing the ice? That’s strength.” She glanced at Hazel again, her voice dropping. “I won’t say a word. Not until you’re ready. This stays between us.”
Liza nodded quickly, though her eyes darted. “Yeah. Of course. Wow… she’s so beautiful.”
You exchanged numbers again, promised a quiet coffee soon, and left with your heart pounding. For the first time in months, the secret felt a little less heavy.
***
Ilia’s POV
The house was quiet after practice, the kind of silence that used to drive me crazy before her. I’d thrown myself harder into skating after the breakup—quads cleaner, programs sharper—but the wins felt hollow. Gold medals didn’t fill the space where she used to curl against me, laughing about silly rink gossip or planning ridiculous future dates. I missed her fire on the ice, her steady presence off it. Every time I landed a jump, part of me wondered if she’d seen it.
Liza burst through the door that night like a whirlwind, still buzzing from whatever errand she and Mom had run. “Ilia, you will not believe what happened at the store—”
I looked up from reviewing video on my laptop, eyebrow raised. “What, did they have those protein bars you like on sale again?”
She waved me off, pacing. “No, listen. We saw her. Your ex. And she had a baby. A little girl. Like, six months old? Totally looked like a mini-you. Mom talked to her and everything. She said not to tell you yet, but—”
The words hit like a fall on cold ice. “What?”
Liza’s face paled as she realized. “I wasn’t supposed to— Mom promised to keep quiet because she hid it and everything, but the baby… Ilia, she looks like you.”
My stomach dropped. The room spun. I was on my feet before I could think, heart hammering harder than after a full long program. Pregnant. Alone. Skating through it? Hiding our child because I’d been too buried in my own world to fight for us?
I grabbed my keys. “Where?”
Liza gave the address reluctantly, texting Mom in a panic behind me. The drive was a blur—regret, anger at myself, fierce love I’d never fully let go crashing together. How had I let it get this far? I’d chosen the ice over the one person who made everything make sense. Never again.
You were halfway through bedtime routine, Hazel drowsy in your arms after a bath, when the knock came. Firm. Urgent. Your heart stuttered as you peeked through the peephole.
Ilia.
He looked wrecked—hair messy from running fingers through it, eyes red-rimmed, still in practice sweats. You opened the door slowly, shifting Hazel protectively.
“Ilia…”
He stepped inside without waiting, gaze locking on the baby. On his daughter. The air thickened. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice cracked, raw. “I would’ve been there. For both of you. God, I thought losing you was the worst part, but this…”
Tears welled as you explained—the fear, the timing, your need to keep skating, the love that never stopped even when it hurt. He listened, then crossed the room in two strides, pulling you both into his arms. Hazel stirred, blinking up at him curiously. He touched her cheek with trembling fingers, awe breaking across his face.
“She’s perfect,” he whispered. “Like her mom.”
The kiss he pressed to your forehead was soft, reverent. Then deeper when you leaned in, months of missing crashing together. “I’m done putting skating first,” he murmured against your hair. “Not if it means missing this. Let me in. We’ll figure out the ice together—both of you. Family first.”
That night, after Hazel was down, you talked for hours. He held you through the tears, shared his own regrets, the empty victories.
In the weeks that followed, Ilia showed up. Helping with night feeds between his training, adjusting his schedule to watch Hazel while you hit the ice. Tatiana and Liza became your village, the secret blooming into open support. Your skating returned stronger, fueled by a fuller heart; Ilia’s programs gained new depth, dedicated in quiet ways to his girls.
The Quad God had always chased perfection on the ice. Now, he was building it at home—messy, real, and yours. Hazel’s first steps came on the edge of the rink one day, both of you there to catch her. Forever, this time.
Can you do an Ilia x reader fic where they dislike eachother then end up having sex?
But they dont fall in love or anything. They sleep together as stress relief or a coping mechanism so its a lil unhealthy but even tho they hate eachother and don't tend to get on they cant deny the other is hot and they wouldn't say no to sleeping together
Enemies on Edge
Warning: Heavy smut, mdni
Ilia Malinin x fem!reader
The practice rink was emptying out, the last of the coaches and skaters trickling toward the locker rooms. You lingered by the boards, arms crossed, clipboard in hand—media relations coordinator for the event, not that anyone here gave a damn about your actual job. Ilia Malinin was still on the ice, carving out one last run of his quad Axel like the arrogant prick he was, sweat darkening his practice shirt, hair sticking to his forehead. He looked infuriatingly good doing it. Always did.
You hated how your eyes tracked him anyway.
He’d been a thorn in your side since the tour started. Snide comments during pressers, blowing off scheduled interviews, that cocky smirk when you had to chase him down. “Busy,” he’d say, like your time meant nothing. You gave it right back—sharp words, eye rolls, zero tolerance for his diva bullshit. The tension had been simmering for weeks. Mutual dislike, pure and simple.
Tonight it boiled over.
He skated off the ice, blades scraping, and nearly collided with you as he stepped through the gap in the boards. “Watch it,” he muttered, voice low and edged.
“Watch it yourself, hotshot. Some of us have actual work to do instead of stroking our egos on the ice all night.”
Ilia’s gaze flicked over you—slow, deliberate. Your fitted top, the way your skirt hugged your hips from all the running around after these athletes. He didn’t hide the heat in it. “You always this much of a bitch, or just to me?”
You stepped closer, chin up. “Only to guys who act like the world owes them a medal and a blowjob.”
Something flashed in his eyes—anger, yes, but also that undeniable spark. He was hot. Tall, lean-muscled from years of explosive power, sharp jaw, those intense eyes. You hated admitting it, even to yourself. And from the way his stare dropped to your mouth, he felt the same unwilling pull.
“Fuck this,” he growled. His hand shot out, grabbing your wrist, and he yanked you toward the dimly lit corridor leading to the unused storage area behind the rink. No cameras. No people. Just the distant hum of the Zamboni and the heavy scent of cold air and exertion.
You could’ve pulled away. But you didn’t.
The door clicked shut behind you. Ilia spun you against the wall, caging you in with his body. “You drive me insane,” he said, breath hot against your ear. “Always in my face, acting like you’re better than this.”
“Back at you,” you shot back, but your hands were already fisting his damp shirt, pulling him closer. Your mouths crashed together—angry, messy, all teeth and no tenderness. Tongues sliding, biting. He tasted like salt and frustration. You moaned into it despite yourself, and he swallowed the sound like he owned it.
His hands were rough, shoving your skirt up your thighs, palming your ass hard enough to bruise. “This what you want? Stress relief from hating my guts?” He ground his hips forward, letting you feel how hard he already was through his practice pants. Thick, insistent. “Say it.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” you hissed, nipping his bottom lip. No feelings. No softness. Just bodies and the raw need to burn off the constant irritation.
Ilia laughed darkly, low in his throat. “That’s what I thought.”
He didn’t waste time. Your panties were shoved aside; his fingers found you slick already—traitorous body—and he groaned at the feel of it. Two thick fingers pushed inside without warning, curling deep, stroking that spot that made your knees buckle. You bit your lip to keep from crying out, hips rocking against his hand.
“Greedy,” he muttered, thumb circling your clit with ruthless precision. “Hate me but you’re dripping for it.”
“Same for you,” you gasped, palming the hard line of his cock through the fabric. He was big—thicker than you’d imagined in those fleeting, annoyed fantasies. You squeezed, and he thrust into your hand with a curse in Russian.
Clothes were half-ripped off in the scramble. Your top pushed up, bra yanked down so he could suck a nipple into his mouth, teeth grazing. His pants shoved low enough to free his cock—flush, veined, the head already glistening. He spun you around, bending you over a stack of old mats, your hands bracing the wall.
No condom talk. You were on birth control; he knew the drill from the tour’s medical checks. This was raw, stupid, perfect for what it was.
Ilia kicked your legs wider and thrust in with one brutal stroke, bottoming out so deep you saw stars. “Fuck—tight,” he grunted, gripping your hips hard. He didn’t ease you into it. He fucked you like he competed—explosive, relentless, chasing the high. Long, punishing strokes that slapped skin against skin, the wet sound obscene in the quiet room.
You pushed back to meet him, moaning despite the hate still burning in your chest. Every thrust dragged against that perfect spot inside you. “Come on. Let it out. Hate me while you come on my cock.”
“Asshole,” you panted, but your walls were already fluttering. The angle, the roughness, the sheer wrongness of it—it hit hard. Your orgasm crashed over you suddenly, thighs shaking, a broken cry escaping as you clenched around him.
Ilia cursed, pace faltering for a second before he doubled down, fucking you through it. Deeper. Harder. “Good girl—fuck, just like that.” His free hand tangled in your hair, yanking your head back so he could bite the junction of your neck and shoulder. Marking. Claiming in the only way that fit this toxic pull.
He pulled out abruptly, flipping you to face him. Lifted one of your legs high around his waist and slammed back in, eyes locked on yours. The new angle made you whimper—too deep, too much, perfect. His thrusts grew erratic, sweat dripping from his brow onto your chest.
“Gonna come,” he growled. “Where?”
“Inside,” you gasped, nails digging into his shoulders. “Do it.”
Ilia buried himself to the hilt with a low groan, hips stuttering as he spilled deep, pulsing hot inside you. You milked him through it, riding the aftershocks, both of you breathing ragged.
For a long moment, the only sound was panting. He stayed buried in you, forehead pressed to yours—not tender, just exhausted. Then he pulled out slowly, cum slicking your thighs. You both fixed your clothes in silence, the dislike still thick in the air, maybe even sharper now.
Ilia zipped up, running a hand through his messy hair. “This doesn’t change anything. Still think you’re a pain in the ass.”
You straightened your skirt, legs shaky, core aching in the best-worst way. “Mutual. But… if the stress builds up again…”
His smirk was back, lazy and satisfied. “Yeah. I won’t say no.”
He left first, slipping out the door without a backward glance. You waited a minute, then followed, the secret ache between your legs a filthy reminder. No feelings. No future. Just this—ugly, addictive relief whenever the hate got too loud to ignore.
The rink lights flickered off in the distance. Tour life went on. And you both knew it wouldn’t be the last time.
Would love a bangin piece about ilia’s athlete stamina. Like he is just on go and will hold you up against a wall for hours and it’s just like good? :)
Stamina
Ilia Malinin x fem!reader
Ilia had just come off the ice from a grueling private session—quads clean, landings sharp, that signature explosive power still humming through every muscle like live current. The rink was empty except for the two of you now, the cool air thick with the scent of fresh ice and his sweat. You watched from the boards, cheeks flushed under your beanie, your own practice leggings clinging to your thighs. You’d been teasing him all afternoon with little glances and that bratty lilt in your voice: “Quad God… you think you can keep up with me later?”
He didn’t answer with words. The second the doors clicked shut behind the last staff member, Ilia crossed the distance in three strides, scooped you up like you weighed nothing, and pinned your back against the padded wall of the hallway leading to the locker rooms. Your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, ankles locking at the small of his back.
“Ilia—fuck—” you gasped, but he swallowed it with a deep, hungry kiss, tongue stroking yours like he was still chasing that perfect rhythm on the ice.
“You wanted stamina talk, hm?” His voice was low, rough, breath hot against your ear as he ground his hips forward. He was already rock-hard, the thick outline of his cock pressing insistently through his compression pants against your core. “Figure skaters don’t gas out. We train for four-minute programs that feel like war. Quads. Explosive power. And right now? I’m just getting started.”
He shoved your leggings and panties down in one rough tug, not even bothering to strip fully. His own pants got yanked low enough to free his cock—thick, flushed, already leaking at the tip from the adrenaline. One hand gripped your ass, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, while the other braced against the wall beside your head. Then he thrust up into you in a single, relentless stroke, burying himself to the hilt.
You cried out, nails raking down his shoulders through his damp shirt. The stretch was perfect—almost too much, the way he filled you completely, pressing right against that spot that made your vision spark. “Uggh, you’re so deep like this…”
Ilia didn’t give you time to adjust. He started moving—deep, powerful rolls of his hips that lifted you higher up the wall with every thrust. No shallow bullshit. Full, punishing strokes that made your breasts bounce under your bra and your breath hitch into broken moans. His quads and glutes—those insane athlete muscles built from years of explosive jumps—did all the work, holding your entire weight like it was nothing. Sweat slicked his forehead, hair sticking to it, but his rhythm never faltered.
Minutes passed. Five. Ten. He fucked you like a machine, steady and brutal, the wet slap of skin echoing down the empty hallway. Every time you clenched around him, thighs trembling, he’d just growl and adjust his grip—spreading you wider, angling deeper. “That’s it, baby. Take it. I could do this for hours. Hold you right here until you’re dripping down my thighs and begging.”
Your head fell back against the wall with a thud, eyes glassy. You were already close, the angle hitting everything perfectly, his pelvis grinding against your clit on every upstroke. “Ilia—harder—”
He gave it to you. One arm hooked under your knee, spreading you obscenely as he pounded up into you. His free hand slipped between you, thumb circling your swollen clit with merciless precision while his cock drove in and out, glistening with your arousal. You came hard the first time—shaking, clenching around him like a vice, a sharp curse word spilling from your lips—but he didn’t stop. Didn’t even slow.
“First one,” he panted against your neck, biting down just hard enough to mark you. “Give me another.”
He shifted you higher, changing the angle so he dragged against your front wall with every thrust. The stamina was unreal—his breathing controlled like he was mid-program, heart rate steady, those powerful legs never shaking. Sweat poured down his back, muscles burning in the best way, but Ilia thrived in the burn. He’d trained through worse. This? This was a reward.
You came again, louder this time, soaking his cock and the front of his pants. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging hard as you sobbed his name. Still, he kept going—long, dragging strokes now, savoring the way you fluttered and pulsed around him. He kissed you through it, messy and tender at the same time, murmuring praise between thrusts. “So fucking perfect for me. My strong girl. Look at you, taking everything I give…”
Twenty minutes in and he finally let himself chase it. He pinned you completely, chest to chest, hips snapping up in short, devastating thrusts that hit so deep you swore you felt him in your stomach. “Gonna fill you up, honey Right here against the wall like you deserve.”
With a loud groan, Ilia came hard—cock pulsing thick ropes deep inside you, hips grinding through every wave until he was spent. But even then, he didn’t pull out. He stayed buried, holding you suspended, kissing you slow and deep while your hearts hammered together.
“See?” he murmured, lips brushing yours, a cocky little smirk breaking through the haze. “Athlete stamina. We’re not done yet. Locker room next. Then the car. Then home, where I’m bending you over the kitchen counter until sunrise.”
You laughed breathlessly, thighs still quivering around him. “Quad God never quits, huh?”
He kissed you again, already half-hard inside you again, ready for round two. Because for Ilia Malinin, the program was never truly over until he’d given everything—and then some.
ilia malinin ― all's well that ends well to end up with you
𝓸r ── .✦ when you're in a relationship with someone for over three years, it's hard to let them go. harder when you grew up just a few homes apart. especially difficult when they've become your home. months of pettiness masking pain, anonymous posts that sounded too familiar to be distant, and the crumbled remains of a dream, all bloom into a mess of everything but closure. and, of course, one moment of weakness that makes you realize exactly what you're giving up.
⟢ 𝓻achel: i know i lowkey said i wasn't going to torture anyone with more angst but...initially this fic was planned to be based around the anonymous exposé and be a crapshoot but then i angstmaxxed and here we are at fourteen thousand words and the most maternal i've ever been for a reader/ilia pair. uhhhhhhhh so enjoy the angst and smut and fluff and everything i love them!!!
── tags below the cut .ᐟ
𝓬ontent: smut mdni, angst, ex!ilia, lots of implied sex, making out, very semi-public sex, shower sex, unprotected sex, fingering, handjob, #angstsex, slight aftercare, co-dependency lowkey, breakup, february 13th, loooots of fluff, they're so in love, nicknames :], reader's roommate has a crazzzy coincidence, dirty jokes in a public rink, lots of great surprises, yay happy ending :3
ᯓ♪ lover - taylor swift | lover, you should have come over - jeff buckley | bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo
in the life of two souls, cursed with distance, bound by love; excerpts in time.
frozen moments of us.
— — —
JANUARY, 2026.
"ilia malinin drools when he sleeps."
the post surfaces from an anonymous account on twitter. some user640388337, a nobody. behind it? identity unknown.
to the public, at least.
it wasn't meant to spread across the figure skating community and accumulate nearly a thousand likes in one day. realistically speaking, the odds of it happening are low; extremely low, at that, given the thirteen followers it started with. mostly bots.
it only took one person to repost. then another, and another, and suddenly, your phone is blowing up on your nightstand at ten o'clock at night.
it's harmless, anyway. no one would actually believe a faceless, joined december 2025 user.
to do that is about as intelligent as believing a reddit poster.
you laugh, place the phone face down where it was before, and roll over to sleep.
rule of thumb: when your figure skater ex-boyfriend appears on nbc for "making team usa" in the olympics, you log on to twitter and embarrass him.
if he can be petty and wear your clothes on air after you've broken up, then why can't you make a harmless little hate post?
— — —
OCTOBER, 2022.
he was always shorter than you.
in every photo of the two of you over the years, you always towered over him. but you took care of him, even if he was actually a few months older. it was funny how it took years to realize that you lived just a few houses away from one another, on the same street, even. but when you did, you suddenly spent every waking moment together.
most people thought you had to be related; you were attached at the hip.
tonight is no different.
"you look really pretty," ilia tells you softly. his hands clasp around your waist, your own around his neck.
homecoming; you'd come together as friends. best friends. the kid who barely showed up to school because of his "special schedule," and the girl who was always beside him.
you always liked each other a little more than you let on.
like the day on the playground, when he approached you under the slide, pecked your lips, and ran away mischievously. you'd pretended to be disgusted, but really, your heart was racing.
something unspoken dusts over your cheeks. "thank you," you whisper back.
"i mean it."
he sounds so sure that it scares you.
you don't pull away when he leans in.
the kiss is soft, a little hesitant. but it's warm, and it makes you forget that you're standing in an old gymnasium, surrounded by people you can't really stand.
his fingers flex on your lower back as he breaks off. he looks — proud, almost.
you were mad when the growth spurt hit earlier this year.
ilia, on the other hand, got to lean down to kiss you.
"sorry, was that okay?"
"i don't know," you shrug, "maybe you should try again."
his lips curve into a smile — and his head shakes — as his head cranes again, and this time, you meet him halfway.
your fingers trail carefully into the brown hair at the nape of his neck, opposite palm finding his shoulder. it's careful, still a little nervous. your hands shake.
but you're smiling.
and ilia malinin might just be the happiest man alive.
— — —
JUNE, 2023.
"you should visit the school one day."
ilia pulls up from your neck, "if i can find the time, i will."
"it's only two hours from here," your fingers trace his shoulder blade through his thin t-shirt. "i move back in the first week of august. you won't be competing then yet, right?"
"no," he shakes his head.
"do you want to help?"
your voice is soft. a little nervous, as if he'd decline.
"you can meet liliana. she's really nice."
he smiles, presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "then i'm busy that day."
you pull him back down and kiss him again, tangling your fingers into his short, soft strands of hair, freshly bleached for the first time.
which, you'd reacted to accordingly a few days ago.
you never quite made it back home that night.
he grins against your lips. you mirror the stretch and bend your knee at his waist, letting the edge rest against him.
"i wish i didn't have to go back," you murmur into his mouth, the noise quiet, muffled.
"wish i didn't have to compete."
his hips apply pressure to yours; you almost don't notice the subtle grind, the shift in weight above you. your eyes instinctively flutter.
"you have an olympic appearance to worry about," you counter, voice a little weak at the edges.
"in three years."
his palm finds your kneecap and rests upon the surface. grounding. warm.
you squirm. kiss a little firmer.
as his lips disconnect from yours, "let's just run away."
"what about your competitions?"
"fuck them."
"and your family?"
"fuck them, too," he moans into your mouth, at which you laugh and flatten a palm to his chest, pushing him away.
"you're crazy," you add lazily. "now c'mon, you said you were supposed to stream. go do that. i'll be right here."
ilia rolls his eyes. "mm, few more minutes."
"you told people six o'clock. which, you never do. you usually hop on and hope for the best," you lecture. "it's already five past, and i have to schedule my classes for next semester, so go."
he sighs and moves to his computer, albeit begrudgingly.
he opts for minecraft — simple, calming, not too much noise to distract you. speaks quietly into the microphone. only a few bursts of sound when he falls into a ravine or gets slain by a skeleton he hadn't seen. and a laugh from the peanut gallery (you).
you type at your computer, studying the courses and making sense of the options. now, there are plenty of seats open, enough to choose from to maintain your part-time work schedule.
you click on your fourth and final course, weigh in the options, and opt for the simplest morning class.
realizing you left your bag leaning against the leg of his desk, you lift your head.
"baby, can you hand me my bag?"
your eyes shoot open. hand flies to your mouth. a soft fuck muffled by your palm.
ilia hesitates.
"uh, yeah, that's my friend," he tries to recover to the chat, most questions popping up from — of course — a few people in particular; they're too pushy for his liking. "no, guys, she said maybe. not baby. ew. hold on."
he clicks the mic into its muted position and leans over, wrapping his fingers around the bag's handle. it slings onto the bed for you to grab.
you cock a brow.
"maybe?"
"do you have a better suggestion, sherlock?" he folds his arms and cranes his neck; you pout in response. "exactly. now go back to your school shit, or whatever."
you flip him off.
he blows a kiss.
initially, your parents wanted to keep your and ilia's relationship private. they didn't want your seventeen-year-old self in the limelight that way. you couldn't blame them, partly. for ilia, it already seemed like too much spotlight, and he was still on the rise, barely scratching the surface of recognition.
then, you went off to your first semester of college.
met friends, matured, lived alongside liliana for a year, who has been nothing but kind to you.
you're nineteen. old enough to make the decision for yourself.
you decided to stay private.
it's simpler. calmer. less noise. and you're not apt for the spotlight.
plus, you get ilia all to yourself when the cameras are off. and you like that.
thankfully, the chat loses its memory, and your slip-up becomes a thing of the past.
you lean against the headboard and watch quietly this time, clutching one of ilia's toothless plushies in your arms.
and you watch. admire. quietly. a tiny smile shaping your lips.
waiting for him to return to you.
— — —
AUGUST, 2023.
"i think you'll love him."
you place a heavy box onto the bare mattress and step back with your hands on your hips. a bead of sweat forms on your forehead and drips down. "phew, that's heavy."
"i'm excited," your roommate muses. "you never shut up about him last year."
"that's not true."
"is so."
you roll your eyes, "well, he should be coming up any minute. i convinced him to take more stuff up. y'know, athlete strength."
"athlete? i didn't know he played a sport," liliana mentions, cocking her head. she pulls a rolled-up poster out of one of her boxes.
"really? i swear i told you."
you furrow your brows and rack your brain, but you suppose it never came up. you were pretty busy last year, and you almost always went home on the weekends. naturally, it makes sense.
"well, he figure skates."
liliana's eyes narrow.
"what did you say his name was again?"
you part your lips to respond. "ilia…?"
her eyes shut, and she huffs out a particularly irritated breath. "no fucking way."
confused, you blink.
"like, the quad axel?"
"…yeah," you smile bashfully.
she doesn't look amused. "like, ilia malinin. like, the quad god guy."
"yes?" you confirm again, your tone a little stale as if you've just stated the obvious. "wait, you know him?"
you rack your brain. every conversation you've ever had with her swirls around like a hot mess.
it clicks when you remember u.s. nationals, back in january.
you'd come back to an oddly dissatisfied roommate. and then she added something to her story that you hadn't processed at the time.
oh, boy.
YOU: i think my roommate hates u
ILIA: what why
YOU: uh
YOU: you'll see
ILIA: ?????
you slip your phone back into your pocket. "i didn't even realize you watched figure skating."
"i know you're fucking lying," she laughs unamusedly, almost accusatively. there isn't a drop of evidence on your face that you're not telling the truth, but she'll be damned to let you play in her face.
"he's literally bringing half of my shit up here, lily."
"that'll be the day that ilia 'quad god' malinin steps into my dor—"
the door slams open.
"okay, i'm — fuck — i'm here," ilia pants, dropping the two boxes (and bag over his shoulder) onto the floor.
you puff air into your cheeks.
this won't be awkward.
he looks between you two; something stale sits in the air. he can't quite place it. ilia isn't really great with social cues.
"liliana, right?" he asks, stepping up to introduce himself. "i'm—"
"ilia malinin."
the name breezes past her lips with malice.
"wait, huh?"
"i know you," she replies through gritted teeth, reaching for the poster she'd taken out. she removes the elastic and lets the thick paper fall open; then, it all makes sense to him.
yuzuru hanyu.
your roommate is a fanyu, and your boyfriend is ilia fucking malinin.
it sounds like the punchline of a bad joke.
"oh," ilia mumbles.
"uh…" you chuckle nervously, "so now that we've determined you're — uhm — well-acquainted with him…already..."
"you could say that."
ilia scratches his head. "i can go," he suggests, thumbing towards the door. "if i'm not," he scratches the back of his neck, "wanted."
"no, you're staying here," you tell him firmly.
you watch lily carefully set the poster onto her bed. her hands find her hips. she doesn't even look angry. unsettled, if anything. shocked, too.
it's not that you're a nobody, or anything, but she hadn't expected her photography major roommate's boyfriend to be who is essentially her archenemy, if you read between the lines.
you never posted anything about him. you don't even follow him. how the hell would she know?
"you stole it from him," she mutters.
you palm your forehead.
"oh my god, the jump? that's what has your panties in a twist?" you roll your eyes. "lily, you've got to be kidding."
"he did!"
"it's a jump!"
"i'm not like, mean," ilia interrupts to clarify; you palm your forehead. "i like him, too! i'm a big fan of his."
"you said he was pissed about you landing the stupid quad axel."
"jesus, i was kidding."
"oh, you know you weren't," she huffs.
"well, was i wrong? last i checked, he didn't land it."
"when i tell my group chat about this—"
"no," you and ilia interrupt in unison.
"we're keeping it private," you continue, hands out in surrender to keep her at ease. you've never had to walk around eggshells with her before. it seems necessary.
"don't tell anyone. no one knows he has a girlfriend. we intend to keep it that way."
lily cocks a brow. "how long have you two been together?"
"dude," ilia scoffs.
you slap his arm.
"i told you," you remind her. "it'll be a year in october."
"right. yeah," she huffs. "you did."
"well, i haven't unpacked anything yet. so…you can either get over whatever hate you've got going on, or i'm switching dorms."
the two of you eye her like she's a ticking time bomb.
she steps back and lowers her arms to her sides.
you glance at ilia.
he shrugs.
"okay, well." she empties more decorations from the box and litters them onto the mattress. "i guess i'll just have to get used to him, then. i like you."
"i'm a person, you know. with ears?"
"oh, i'm sure you are."
"lily!"
"you're bitter for someone who doesn't even know yuzuru personally," he adds.
"oh my god, will both of you shut the fuck up?" you palm your forehead and drag it down your face, letting out a heavy sigh. "this is stupid."
you dart your finger towards your roommate. "you need to stop eyeing my boyfriend like you want his knees bashed in." you turn to ilia, "and you need to take your ego down a peg. do i make myself clear?"
"yes," the two mumble in unison.
"great."
lily grabs her keys and moves the emptied box onto the floor. "luckily for you, i have more stuff to grab. i'll be back."
she leaves the room, and the door clicks shut behind her.
"well," you cough. "now you've met my roommate."
ilia laughs, steps closer. "she's something."
"yeah, but," you frown, toying with the hem of his gray t-shirt. "i really wanted her to like you."
"she'll come around," he reassures you, arms resting on your shoulders.
"i hope so."
spoiler alert: she eventually does.
— — —
MAY, 2024.
user640388337: "ilia malinin wears women's aerie shorts."
it isn't often that ilia spends the night at your house.
usually, you shack up in his bedroom. it has more space, more entertainment, and his mother always cooks dinner and prepares the house for you.
tatiana adores you.
but, your parents were set to spend the weekend one state away. so, naturally, you figured he could visit your house for once.
tldr; you didn't have to fuck at the rink, or excruciatingly quietly in his room.
you're barely finished when the sound of your father's car chirps.
"what the fuck?" you crane your head to the window. "oh, god."
"what?" ilia mumbles, face left buried in your neck.
"parents are home."
"fuck."
he springs from the bed and scans the room for any sign of his clothing. a thick hoodie sticks out from the corner, tucked beneath your desk chair. he grabs it and slips it over his head.
you search the floor, find your own pajamas to tug back on as if they'd never left.
"where are my pants?"
you turn to your boyfriend, "i don't know, i can't find them, either."
he rummages through the sheets to no avail, while your heart races. something downstairs sounds too much like approaching footsteps.
"oh my god, ilia, just pick something up and go."
he grabs the first pair of shorts he can find and slips them on.
they barely fit around his ass.
you stifle a laugh.
"can you not. right now."
"nah," you giggle. "this is funny."
he rolls his eyes. the footsteps draw too close.
"fuck, go," you usher him towards the window and yank it open. "someone is coming. unless you want me to get put on 'ilia timeout' again, you gotta get the fuck out of my room."
"okay, okay, yeah."
he climbs out. hits the grass with a thud, but manages to somehow land on two unbroken feet.
he flashes you a thumbs-up.
"now go home before someone sees you in booty shorts."
ilia then walks down the street with his head in his hands.
because he will be damned to be caught taking the walk of shame out of your house in the middle of the night with yellow women's aerie shorts on that don't even fit right.
the quad god does not roll like that.
— — —
DECEMBER, 2024.
one of your favorite days of the year has always been ilia's birthday.
as kids, you'd celebrate together by doing christmas activities, long after his birthday parties had ended. you'd make a gingerbread house every year and decorate it with the things you liked.
one year, it was minecraft-themed. another, you'd convinced him to make it star wars.
as you grew older, the parties and festivities wore off. but even up until today, you never stopped the gingerbread tradition.
and of course, you got him something every year as a gift.
yours were always his favorite.
"illie, you're twenty years old now," you sigh. "can you stop eating our roofing?"
a glob of blue icing smears across his lip; he licks it off.
"i can't help it if our roofing tastes good."
this year's theme is fortnite. he'd been begging for years, and finally, you gave in. only because you love him — and maybe because it's kind of a milestone year.
you even printed out tiny little pieces of paper with your skins on them.
like clockwork, when he's over the honeymoon phase of eating your supplies, he hyperfocuses. you're never sure if it's from the sugar rush or if he just gets bored with eating the frosting instead of doing the work. either way, you eventually get your help.
you take photos when it's done, set it onto the windowsill in the kitchen, and pad up the stairs to his room — your home away from home, most nights.
the moonlight illuminates ilia's room, his face beneath you as your hips rest in his lap, lips connected softly in the darkness.
your mouth travels over the expanse of his cheek, pressing slow, gentle kisses into his fair skin. you feel the stretch of his smile and the carefulness of his touch at your waist, drawing you closer.
"you want your gift?"
he nods.
you climb out of his lap and grab the gift bag you'd placed beside his desk earlier today. putting it in his hands, you straddle his knees again.
your eyes watch intently as he pulls the tissue paper out and carefully takes hold of the contents — a heavy black and gold case in his hands. you toss the bag back onto the floor.
"it's custom," you whisper as his eyes find the tiny "ilia" embroidered on the side. "it's for your console. and your controllers, and stuff. anything else you wanna bring."
you clear your throat, thumbs toying with one another in front of you, clearly nervous about the whole thing.
"it's supposed to prevent damage. and i know you like to take it with you for competitions, so…you can use it tomorrow, maybe…when you go," you explain. "i know it isn't much, but—"
"i love it."
your shoulders relax; ilia carefully leans the case against his nightstand.
"you do?"
he draws you closer, "it's perfect. thank you."
your lips curve into a downward smile.
"there was, uhm. one more thing, too."
"what is it?" he asks with furrowed brows, head tilted slightly.
you breathe, curling the tip of your index finger into the pair of sleep shorts at your waist. slowly, you pull the fabric down.
the motion exposes the deep red, lacy waistband snug around your waist.
his eyes shoot open; he looks up.
"bro, my parents are down the hall."
you snap the sleep shorts back into place and let the palm of your hand fall onto his bicep, just barely ghosting over the skin.
"when has that ever stopped you?"
"shit, you're right."
he pulls you into a kiss far deeper than the last. much hungrier, too.
he has a lot of ground to cover, after all the time he'd spent recently training for the grand prix final. so, given this half of your gift, and him leaving for france tomorrow, it's safe to say that you'll be staying the night.
he takes his time with you; admires the lace you'd been bashfully hiding, the way its color blends so perfectly with your skin. shines in the dim moonlight that highlights every dip and curve of your body.
prayers of "you're so gorgeous" and "i can't believe you're mine" spilling from his lips and seeping into the skin at your collarbone.
needless to say, minutes blend into hours. long, slow, time-consuming moments in the comfort of his four walls. drags of tongues and desperate touches upon heated skin.
repeated hums of "i love you" melting into your ears each time the words pass ilia's lips.
the clock hands lie somewhere between one and two when you finally relax into ilia's mattress. some old, half-stretched japanese shirt draped over your upper half. bodies on their sides, facing one another, faces inches apart.
heavy eyelids fighting to stay open as your palm lifts to his cheek.
"happy birthday, illie bear," you whisper, half-asleep.
ilia's expression morphs into confusion. "what did you call me?"
you offer a tired smile.
"illie bear," you repeat, thumb and index finger lightly pinching his cheek with a beaming smile.
"you need some sleep," he declares, and you giggle softly, lowering your hand to his flattened palm between you. you lace your fingers with his.
"only if you sleep, too."
"deal."
you fall asleep shortly after, letting the soft noise of wind outside the window and ilia's soft breaths lull you into relaxation. his pulse beats below your thumb.
the faint smile never leaves your cheeks, even in slumber.
— — —
JULY, 2025.
you always told him that hell would have to freeze over before he would ever catch you in a pair of ice skates.
yet somehow,
"oh my god, i'm gonna fucking die."
ilia laughs a few feet ahead of you, skating backwards to keep you from falling. "you're not gonna die."
"i cannot believe you convinced me to do this shit," you shout. "this is embarrassing!"
"hey, hey," he tuts, reaching to nudge your shoulder, and you grimace. "there are kids around."
"there are, like, two. and i do not care."
one of the kids skates into the center of the rink. she practices a waltz, a single loop. nothing too difficult to take up space or hinder the — albeit small-numbered — other skaters.
her eyes keep darting to ilia. it's subtle, but you notice. it's a sequence you know all too well. she recognizes him.
"hey," you pipe up, jerking your head towards center ice. "i think that girl knows who you are."
ilia turns. he offers the girl a little wave; she smiles and skates excitedly over to her mother, tugging at her sleeve.
"how is an eleven-year-old looking girl better at this than me?"
"this isn't her first time skating," he responds amusedly. "there are people here who have never even put skates on before. you used to when you were five, right?"
"yeah, and i have nothing to show for it."
okay, so you're not getting it.
fine. he'll just take matters into his own hands.
he lets you inch in front of him and puts his hand on top of yours. "hey," he whispers into your ear, "lift it off the boards."
hesitantly, you take it off.
you almost hurl forward.
ilia's hand on your waist keeps you upright.
"try to stay more on the inside edge. lean back a little."
"dude, what?"
he breathes.
"okay, just — don't walk. glide," he instructs, but the words mean nothing to you. "push off your foot."
a little boy, no older than seven, whizzes by and nearly knocks you over.
"this is embarrassing, i reiterate."
ilia laughs in your ear.
"you're thinking too much. just push."
you manage a few steps. they're messy, and you nearly toe-pick yourself on the second, but you're able to stay on your feet. accomplishments come in baby steps.
"that's it," he whispers. "good."
"thanks, illie bear," you giggle.
he scoffs, rolls his eyes. he'll never live that nickname down.
he leans closer, breath drifting past your nose. it smells faintly of the mint gum he's been chewing. refreshing. sharp.
you're still not quite getting it.
perhaps, you just need the proper motivation.
the whisper is so soft that even you almost don't hear it.
"if you can do one lap without me, i'll fuck you in the lounge when everyone's gone."
your head turns on a swivel. lips parted in a mix of shock and contemplation.
"that's nothing we haven't—"
"two, and you can sit on my face."
you leap out of his arms and hurl yourself forward.
you didn't even know you could do that.
ilia leans with an elbow on the boards to watch, fighting a hysterical laugh at your struggle. a bunch of people skate by, and at least a handful are struggling more than you ever were.
the gum smacks in his mouth as he watches you nearly faceplant about six times, more than entertained, by now. you pass him once without acknowledgment; he laughs harder.
truthfully, he didn't even think that was going to work.
fortunately, you're just as sex-crazed as him.
you don't quite know how to stop, so you speed into his arms to brace the impact.
"that's two," you declare.
"told you, you could do it."
you wave your hand. "yeah, yeah, just get me out of these things."
his hand snakes around your waist as he guides you to the open board.
"and to that lounge."
— — —
SEPTEMBER, 2025.
ILIA: [attachment: 1 image]
you smile at the pop-up, slipping into bed after a long, rough day. it's only seven o'clock — twelve, for ilia. falling back into your schooling schedule is always difficult, but this year, with your new roommates and the grueling schedule, it's hard to adjust.
they're your friends, and you love them, but it just makes some things more difficult.
YOU: i sawwww
YOU: congrats baby 🫶🫶 can u ft?
the call comes in without a proper response.
"hi illie bear," you whisper-yell, trying to be cognizant of the usually-asleep roman on the other side of the room.
ilia pouts.
"would you please stop it with that?" he complains. "and i have my earbuds in. you can talk."
you giggle, "i'm not stopping because you hate it."
you snuggle into the sheets and puff the pillow behind your neck, resting the phone against the crease above your chest to let him see your face.
"seriously though. how was everything? did it feel good? i know your costumes didn't come in time."
"besides that, it was good," he smiles. "i really like these programs."
"me too," you add. "i like your short. it's fun."
"you always say that."
"it's not every day your boyfriend is the coolest skater on the ice."
it's his turn to laugh. some days, you think it's your favorite noise in the world.
the light from his phone makes his eyes look extra blue, even from behind the glare in his glasses.
"show me the dorm."
you flip the camera and carefully flick on your lamp to its lowest setting. it's a quick scan of the room — not too much to report on, maybe besides the little poster of ilia on your wall, accompanied by a few clothes pinned polaroids hanging beside you.
"i like those," he tells you.
"me too."
when the room falls back into shade, and your face comes into view again, ilia swallows.
"how was your first week?"
"it was good. just a lot of syllabi and introductions, to be honest," you shrug. "your life is much more exciting."
"not true," he counters. "you're not here."
you frown theatrically, like a really overcustomized mii.
"aw, illie…"
you giggle when he rolls his eyes.
"i wish i were there, too," you pout. "but it's okay. i'm making all of the sacrifices now so i can see you kill it in milan."
he fights off a bashful smile.
"i can't wait to watch you."
"can't wait to have you there." after a few beats of silence, he rolls onto his side, taking the phone with him. "miss you already."
"i miss you too, illie."
a yawn finds itself forming between your lips; your jaw stretches with the sudden sensation, and you hum, settling further into the mattress below you.
"you should get some sleep," you finally whisper. "it's much later there."
"mmm…okay," he agrees, slipping the frames off his nose, folding them up, and placing them neatly on the nightstand. "you should sleep, too. you look exhausted."
"it's way too early for me to be this tired," you tell him, pulling the sheets up. "i feel like a grandma."
"then you're my favorite grandma."
you giggle at that.
"i'll text you first thing in the morning, okay?" you whisper, and he nods, blowing you a small kiss. "goodnight, illie bear."
he forces back a sigh.
"goodnight," he whispers back, lifting his hand to wave.
you wave back softly, letting the phone screen fade into sleep when he hangs up.
either you're far too tired, or you're becoming really dependent, or both, and it's about time you stop practically living at ilia's house when you're not at school.
or showing up to almost every competition, despite all of that.
because even if you can work around time zones, find time to text one another, update each other on the little aspects of your lives…
it doesn't change the fact that sometimes, you really miss him.
and with how busy you already are, plus the workload of ilia starting the olympic season, the thought of your schedules overlapping less and less weighs heavily on your heart.
because if they do, you'll inevitably stop having time for each other.
you just hope it never comes to that.
— — —
DECEMBER, 2025.
ILIA: [attachment: 1 image]
ILIA: 😁😁😁🥇🥇🥇 did u see?
the phone buzzes in its locked box at the front of the exam room. reasonably, you don't hear it.
you retrieve the device at nine, when you've finally gotten out of your exam. you told yourself that you wouldn't check anything until you've eaten, so that's what you do.
the on-campus cafe is only a short distance from the building. it smells of warm hazelnut when you step inside; your favorite scent to walk into.
you order your usual and a small donut to hold your stomach over until lunchtime. you all but shovel it down your throat. you'd been studying since six, and you haven't eaten anything at all.
you use a napkin to wipe your hands clean and take the drink in one hand, pulling your phone out with the other as you walk down the pathway back to your dorm hall.
your heart drops when you read it.
YOU: oh my god
YOU: i completely forgot
YOU: i'm so sorry ilia
in his hotel room, ilia frowns. roman is asleep on the bed opposite to his. it's past one in the morning in japan.
ILIA: oh
he bites the inside of his cheek.
ILIA: it's okay
YOU: how did you do?
ILIA: i won. and i set a record 🙂
and you missed it.
you key yourself into the dorm and beeline for your bed, flopping onto it as soon as your bag hits the floor.
ILIA: why didn't you watch?
maybe it's the stress of competing.
that's usually what you tell yourself when he forgets. but today, even that can't convince you.
YOU: i had an exam. i told you about it.
YOU: you texted me in the middle of it. i knew you forgot 😕
ilia palms his forehead.
you had told him.
ILIA: fuck i'm sorry
ILIA: i was really focused on today because i finished so low in the short
ILIA: and i needed to get the seven quads
you sniff. turn on your side as you stare at the words on the screen.
this isn't the first time he's pushed you to the side. nor is it yours.
it was barely a month ago when your camera broke in the middle of an important shoot you'd driven two hours out to hold. you knew he couldn't help, but you wanted to hear his voice — you just sought comfort, like he always offered.
he never even answered your call; practice had been too intense, and he hadn't checked his phone. you fixed the camera, but the damage had been done.
you just needed him, and he wasn't there.
YOU: i have stressful things in my life too and i know my exam isn't as important as your competition but it's important to me
YOU: i just want my boyfriend to wish me luck on my important things too :(
you've traveled across the country to watch him compete. you've skipped classes. you've sacrificed so much to be present.
at the start of the semester, a day hadn't gone by that you didn't think of him. he would have never been an afterthought, no matter how tight your schedule became, or how knee-deep ilia found himself in training.
you found a way.
you always found a way.
ILIA: call me
the only option that seems to work anymore; the only way ilia has been able to pretend that this is enough. that you haven't been blowing each other off for weeks.
like the beginning of this month, when you were finally supposed to have a weekend to yourself. you'd planned it to work around both of your schedules — ilia managed a few days away from the rink, and you cranked a little harder on your assignments to get them done.
the day before, he asked if it was still okay that he comes.
you told him that something came up to avoid the truth. that you'd become so wrapped up in this year that you forgot.
of course, you wanted to see him.
fuck, you loved him.
but you felt like the biggest asshole on earth.
and today, neither of you remembered. maybe — you think — that's a sign. you swallow.
YOU: ilia
YOU: i don't think i can do this anymore
from the other side of the world, his heart drops into his stomach.
his thumbs tremble over the keyboard; the second message follows before he can respond.
YOU: us.
he might throw up.
ILIA: call me.
ILIA: please
the tears in your eyes make it hard to read his words. you don't even know that you want to.
ilia tucks his lips into his mouth. the last thing he wants is to wake his dad, cause him any more stress. not that ilia would have the heart to tell him anyway.
he's too embarrassed.
he's not even sure he'd get the words out.
the longer you hold back a response, the harder his heart pounds. the hotter his face becomes.
YOU: ilia i can't
YOU: i'm sorry
his throat constricts.
ILIA: okay
ILIA: i understand
thirty minutes ago, he couldn't wait to talk to you.
when he sent the message, he only cared about your reply. he had hundreds of notifications. he only wanted your approval.
like always, you'd been his first thought. even on the ice, the moment he stepped out of his ending position.
it was you he thought of.
you hadn't texted him since the win — it worried him. even when you didn't watch, you'd ask how it went, or sometimes, check the scores yourself to congratulate him. you hadn't done any of that.
but even if you completely forgot — in which case, you had — all he wanted was to tell you. make you proud of him. let you know that every practice you sat in for — with calculus work in your lap, or adobe photoshop open on your computer — didn't go to waste.
that he finally got to achieve the seven-quad layout you watched him train for years for.
instead, he lost you.
that same night.
because he forgot about you.
because — between the olympic season and the workload of your junior year — you haven't had time for each other anymore; the very fear that struck you after lombardia.
his heart is shattered, and sleep evades him.
you cry in bed until the tears stop flowing and skip your eleven a.m.
two days later, you text him that you left his things with tatiana. he reacts to the message with a thumbs-up.
afterward, the message thread falls dead for the first time in years.
— — —
JANUARY, 2026.
user640388337: "ilia malinin finishes fast."
okay, so maybe you've been getting carried away with the anonymous tweets. but the amount of stigma around your ex-boyfriend's name has been enough to kill you.
and you'd be lying if you said the attention your posts are attracting isn't thrilling. really, some people are gullible.
not that you're lying.
but how could someone seriously believe the bullshit you're spewing? as far as the internet knows, ilia malinin never had a girlfriend. you never even followed him.
except for quaddevil — which you promptly unfollowed a few days after you broke up; the account had too many pictures of you on it. too many memories, emotions to let surface.
moving on from a person you've spent your whole life knowing isn't easy.
since you were six years old, you haven't gone more than two days without speaking to ilia.
it will be two months in a week.
as if on cue, your phone buzzes.
it's barely eight o'clock. one in milan.
ILIA: can you stop
ILIA: [attachment: 1 image]
ILIA: i know this is you
you swallow. you knew he was bound to notice them.
you spent three years with him; he lied when he said he didn't spend time on twitter.
some nights, after competitions, he'd search his name.
not to look for the praise.
YOU: idk what you're talking about
ILIA: it happened once. i was fucking 19
YOU: anyone can say that, ilia
ilia rolls his eyes.
this feels all too familiar.
too stale.
ILIA: i wear fucking aerie shorts? ring a bell?
YOU: u wore my hoodie into the fucking olympic village. and u never gave back those shorts, by the way
he sighs.
ILIA: can you please just stop
maybe you're being too harsh.
but you're still hurting, too. even if you refuse to admit it.
you leave him on read.
— — —
FEBRUARY 13, 2026.
after every competition, he would text you.
it started during the first season you spent together. skate america, to be exact. he'd sent a photo of him holding a thumbs-up, followed by a text that read "comp over! 😁 got first!"
it became the template for every competition you didn't personally attend.
ilia takes a cold shower when he gets back to his dorm. he doesn't think he deserves more.
having the room to himself makes his thoughts too loud. with roman there, he can talk. distract himself. or do the complete opposite, and suppress his emotions so as not to worry his father.
alone, he doesn't get that privilege.
all he has are thoughts.
none are positive.
he opens your messages and takes a photo with his thumb up; the flash bursts in his face. it's only when the photo loads into the queue that he remembers.
he closes his eyes like a wince.
damn the muscle memory.
he types out the message anyway, as if he'll send it. maybe just to feel something. just to simulate the comfort you once would have offered him.
a tear cascades down his cheek.
the air suddenly feels too hot, despite the chill of twenty degrees outside the window.
god, he misses you.
he doesn't even know what time it is.
he doesn't even care.
when he throws the phone down, he doesn't notice the message send.
back in virginia, you gasp.
your roommates turn to the noise.
you'd just come back into the room a few minutes ago, and you're already gasping at something on your phone.
earlier, they offered to watch the men's free with you. you watched the short together, too. they wanted to support you — make fun of ilia, after all that he'd done and whatnot. even if they hadn't known him personally, most of their knowledge extending from word of mouth.
living with them is different; chaotic, sure, but fun. definitely the distraction you've needed, even if you had to spend the winter break at home, where his house stood just a few hundred feet away from yours like a threat.
still, through the breakup, they were extremely supportive.
watching the men's competitions together was something one of the girls suggested. and during the short, it was fun. it got the stress off your chest. of course, they knew about your anonymous tweets, about your schedules falling too tight, that he was too busy. it was all in good fun — girls supporting their friend.
but they didn't know him.
they'd only met him once. he visited at the very beginning of the season, greeted them briefly, and followed you into your room. you spent the stretch of time making out, in the absence of any proper time together since the season's start. it was the only perception they had of him.
they didn't know how long you'd known each other.
they didn't know how much he loved you.
they really had no fucking clue.
but tonight, it all fell apart; every piece of the resolve you thought you'd built up crumbled to pieces. all at five in the afternoon in front of a fifty-inch television screen.
at the end of the day, you knew a part of you still loved him. but watching him skate, watching the falls, the pop, the step outs — it broke you. tore you into something you didn't even know was still active.
it was his dream.
you watched him nearly kill himself every day for four years just to achieve it, only for it to crumble to pieces, and you weren't even there when it finally arrived.
you walked out of the room before he even reached the kiss and cry.
and you sobbed in your bed until the pain started to subside.
no one followed you inside. they knew better.
it was that moment that your roommates realized just how important he still was to you. they felt horrible. of course, how would they have known? they couldn't have.
but they knew you needed your time.
and now you're here. staring at this message two hours later like it's some kind of fucked up hallucination, and he never even meant to send it.
ILIA: didn't medal. wish u were here.
your hand sits over your mouth to keep from releasing a sob you thought you'd willed away.
"what's wrong?" one of your roommates asks.
you don't answer. none of them will understand.
you really fucking miss lily.
"nothing, it was, uhm," you hesitate, gnawing at the lining of your cheek. "just a video." you prop the meat of your palm on the floor and hoist yourself up to your feet, shoving your phone into the pocket of your sweatpants. "i think i'm gonna go to bed."
they nod in understanding and bid you goodnight.
but you don't sleep.
you lie face-up on the mattress until the ceiling begins to morph into an unrecognizable blur. when you close your eyes, it's his face. first, from the free.
then, the picture.
thumb up. frown on his face. dejected eyes. bangs in front of his forehead because he couldn't even be bothered to push them out of the way.
and the words.
didn't medal. wish u were here.
the clock burns in your vision when you turn your head.
two in the morning in milan.
you swallow.
pick up the phone. open his contact.
illie 🧸
just as you'd left it.
like a time capsule.
your finger hovers unsteadily above the call button. you don't even know what you're doing, what business you have pressing it and listening to the ring.
your heart nearly stops when he picks up.
breathing.
soft.
"illie?"
a quiet sob.
russian.
you recognize the syllables too clearly. the weakness in his voice. the rambling. you always told him to use it when he had too many emotions to put into english. to use it so you didn't have to understand.
just to hear.
just to listen.
a tear falls from the corner of your eye.
you haven't heard his voice in months. not to you. only the shell of it in interviews or pre-recorded videos.
never your ilia.
"i blew it," he finalizes.
your breath hitches as you try to find the words.
"it's okay," you whisper. "you'll be okay."
god, he needed to hear your voice.
so bad.
"get some sleep, illie. please."
you have no place telling him any of this.
you broke up with him.
you made petty comments behind a screen.
you let your roommates poke fun at him.
yet, all you've been able to think about since the moment he popped his first jump is how deeply you feel for him.
how much you care.
how deeply you're still in love with him.
you hear the mellowed noise of collected breaths from the other end of the line and settle into the mattress beneath you.
"okay," he finally whispers back, voice so soft that it barely registers through the phone.
you part your lips, but he interrupts before a word can come out.
"thank you."
the call ends.
you miss him.
— — —
FEBRUARY 23, 2026.
user640388337: "ilia malinin was a bad boyfriend."
the last tweet that the public ever saw, posted on the morning of february thirteenth.
it was cold.
it wasn't even true.
you logged out that night and never spoke of the account again.
lily texted you the following morning.
LILY: hi bb :( i saw what happened yesterday
LILY: do u wanna grab food today?
she never fully admitted it, but she came around to ilia. everyone always did.
she knew he treated you right. really, that was all that mattered.
you decided to come home for the weekend. you hadn't done it since you returned from winter break. too scared of rehashing the charred memories. this weekend, you built the courage. you decided to stay an extra few days and skip your classes. they could wait.
it's barely eleven. the moon is out. the sky is pitch black. you're perched comfortably on the couch, mindlessly watching a rerun of friends on tv.
the doorbell rings.
being the only one awake, you stand to head for the door. you assume it's another one of your mother's late-night amazon deliveries.
it isn't.
he's standing still when your eyes catch him, as if you'll slam the door in his face if he makes any movement.
he should be in switzerland. not here.
"i need to talk to you," he all but whispers. "please."
you nod.
"not here."
it goes without saying where he'll take you.
the rink feels colder tonight when you step onto it. the ice welcomes you like a friend.
you came here a lot when you were home.
doing choppy laps around the ice.
just thinking.
you finally got the hang of the whole skating thing, after so long. he doesn't mention the improvement. he knew you had it in you.
"i didn't mean to bother you."
he speaks to you as if you're some kind of stranger.
like he hasn't devoted every inch of himself to you.
"you didn't," you tell him honestly, hesitance in your own voice. "i wanted to help."
the quiet is almost relaxing.
it isn't awkward silence. it's full. of emotions, of unspoken feelings, of tension neither of you wants to acknowledge. it's daunting, but it's only just shy of comfortable.
weighted.
being an olympian has its perks, you guess. and it includes special access to your rink.
you skate side by side in slow circles; ilia matches your pace. you ask him about milan, but his answers are short. almost rehearsed. nothing like the boy you know, who would have rattled every little detail off at a mile a minute.
your chest hurts.
not a physical pain.
just something ugly.
"the rink is empty."
ilia raises a brow. "good observation."
you chuckle.
"no, i mean…" you turn to him, blinking as if to shift a gear in his head. "it's empty."
you scratch the edge of your forearm, "…can you do it for me?"
he considers the request — something you haven't asked of him since before you broke up — and skates to center ice. you lean against the boards to watch.
a layback.
your favorite.
it's corny, and it's stupid. but you'd always ask for him to do it because he'd stopped using them in programs. they strained his back, but he always obliged, because he loved you.
and he loved to see you smile the way you always would.
it's bittersweet, when his eyes find yours.
the same expression you always assumed. something different behind your eyes — behind the adoration, there's longing. pain, almost.
"still beautiful."
ilia shrugs, hair falling into place around his bandana, "i like jumps."
"so many people would love you if they saw you skate like that."
he parts his lips to speak, but nothing comes out.
i only care if you do.
instead, he brushes it off and falls back into place beside you.
his brows furrow in thought when you reach the open board, as if something just popped into his head. it looks like he isn't sure whether to say it aloud.
he decides not to ask.
you step onto the mats first and head towards the locker room. sit comfortably on the wooden bench you'd stuffed your shoes under, ilia just across from you.
another careful silence as you untie your laces. once the skates are loose, you pull them off and push them to the side. rise to your feet to stretch out your back, careful not to harm any muscles.
ilia stands to meet you.
that thought from earlier — he's going to ask.
"why did you tell people i was a bad boyfriend?"
your stomach curls, and your bottom lip suddenly twitches. the words don't come easy.
"i don't know," you admit.
his gaze doesn't part from yours. it's scary, almost intimidating. it's the opposite of a threat.
somehow, that's worse.
"was i really that bad?"
tears brim at your waterline. hot. sensitive. familiar.
you shake your head as you try to will them away.
"no," you whisper honestly, "not at all."
he nods, head falling to track the movement of your hands clasped at your waist.
"it's late," you finally manage into the warm air of the locker room, a beam of moonlight illuminating the room as the only source of light. "i need to shower, and you're…leaving again soon."
"i need to shower, too."
the words hang in the air.
less of a statement, and more of a suggestion.
"ilia…"
he steps closer; your eyes trail upward to meet his.
soft. brows pulled together. long, blond bangs falling carefully in his face.
"ilia, we can't," you whisper, but the words lack conviction. "you're famous now. and we don't — we don't have the time."
"can't we just pretend for tonight?"
his face is centimeters away from yours. "please."
you lean up and slot your lips with his before your mind can catch up with your body.
"okay," you murmur into his mouth, bordering on a sob, "okay."
his hands, on a mission, pull your sweatshirt up and off your head. he tosses it onto the bench, where the cuff brushes the wet foam mat. he does the same with his own; haphazardly discards it, too.
you shed quickly, carefully.
still so comfortable in his presence, bare, despite the time apart.
ilia slips his bandana off and drops it to the floor.
reaches over to turn the water on.
stands below the stream and uses his hands to gently pull you closer.
he kisses you again with a carefulness that makes your heart flutter. you reciprocate with a fraction of hunger, letting your fingertips glide into his wet hair and rest at the back of his head.
the water's warmth soothes the ache in your muscles, running down to your ankles, a little weak from the boots. his hips press into yours — a reaction, more than an intention.
"illie," you whisper against his lips like a prayer, his palm splayed across your lower back to keep you steady.
he kisses you a little firmer.
your palm glides down the center of his chest, the edge of a finger brushing one of his necklaces on the way. your lips pull apart — noses still pressed together — as your fingers find him, wrap around the length just loosely enough to create the glide.
he hums into the air, a little weak. the sound familiar, something you haven't heard in much longer than just the months you've spent apart.
your head tilts to kiss the skin below his eye, the edge of his cheek. you move then to the mark just above his top lip. press another just below his jaw, all while your hand carefully strokes him beneath the hot stream, droplets of water cascading down his body.
you shift a little lower, kissing another spot on the left side of his chest.
he realizes then.
you're kissing his freckles.
you've never done that.
it's too intimate.
his fingers find the apex of your thigh; they freeze in their spot, a silent question. you offer a nod, almost begging him to continue.
slowly, he presses them in.
it draws a low, breathy moan from your chest.
your hand grips his shoulder tighter; the other pauses momentarily before resuming the motion, speed a little quickened.
he winces, cranes his neck to kiss you again. his tongue slips past your lips, hot against yours, matching the temperature of the water above.
it feels like everything you've bottled up since you broke up with him.
every emotion you've ignored.
his fingers find a steady rhythm to keep you grounded as your hand glides mindlessly, the pad of your thumb brushing over the head and sending a chill up his spine.
he loves it.
it's the little things about each other you'd picked up; the tells, what the other did and didn't respond to.
you know each other's bodies like your own; better, sometimes.
it feels like following a map you've already committed to memory.
"i miss you," you mumble against his lips, unsure if you've ever meant anything more. the admittance feels unfamiliar on your tongue, something you should never have to say to him.
ilia kisses you harder.
"fuck," he murmurs into the plush of your lips, fingers digging into your side as the others glide in and out the way he knows you need to feel good. "i miss you, too."
somewhere between beads of sweat and droplets of sweltering hot water, tears fall. the saltiness blends with the rest on your cheeks, nearly unnoticeable if not for the redness around your eyes.
or even the weakness in your voice, unmistakably present.
"i'm sorry, illie," you whisper into the steam, voice trapped somewhere between a sob and a moan. "i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry i did it that way."
you're rambling to keep from breaking.
it isn't working.
"it's okay," he breathes, "it's okay, baby."
god, the name, the tremor in his voice, the way he refuses to put any blame on you. all of it forces your knees to crumble under the weight, leaving you propped against the tile for support. the back of your head leans into the coldness embedded in the wet surface.
ilia's body keeps under the stream.
your eyes flood with tears that don't stop flowing, and your chest fills with the type of pain you can't even begin to describe. nothing you've ever felt in all twenty-one years.
guilt takes over any semblance of strength left in your head. your hand creates a tighter ring and hurries its pace. because you want him to feel good. you want to hear the edge in his voice.
you want him.
your free hand slides up to his cheek and brushes over the rosy skin beneath, gently pulling him in as your lips connect firmly with his again. the moonlight reflects off his necklace in the changing angle, onto one of the lockers on the edge of the room.
his fingers curl into your sweet spot with the perfect pressure, exactly what your body craves. the sensation sends a wave of heat through to your fingertips, and your head forcefully breaks away, leaning into the tile behind you.
your hand shakes as you try desperately to get him off first, to make him satisfied. a careful drag of your palm, another gentle stroke that lets the precum smear over the head, halfway gone from the running water.
your eyes flutter open to find his staring back at you. every emotion he has ever felt for you lies carefully behind his expression, tentative and translated in the way his fingers work between your thighs, sliding again and again until a breathless moan breezes past your lips.
"you're so pretty," he whispers.
it hurts so bad.
your chest fights a swell of sobs, and you shake your head against the wet tile, breath catching in your throat.
"don't say that," you try, but the words only release as a whimper amid the tightness in your stomach, the way your hands tremble uncontrollably. "please," you beg.
tears find his cheeks again.
your vision blurs until ilia almost bleeds out of focus, and you can barely stand.
and despite everything, you reach your release before him.
your hand lets go, unable to finish him off, and painfully grips ilia's bicep, while the other finds the nape of his neck, where the tips of his soaked hair reside.
the kiss is sloppy, unplanned, heavy as your head dips to deepen the angle. his hips press into yours, an involuntary reaction to your body's pressure.
"i'm sorry," you murmur into his mouth, another apology pressed into the edge of his jaw. "want — want you inside, illie."
he nods, shifts his hips, aligns them with yours to press forward until the gasp echoes off the empty lockers. your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into your embrace as his hips chase his own release.
as his lips kiss a gentle path along the curve of your jaw, drawing a slew of quiet, breathless noises from your parted lips, your chest aches.
only one thought travels across your mind like a threat.
you want him back.
every push sends you against the wall slightly firmer than the last, careful, gratifying in sensation. a whine falls from his lips — so soft that you nearly don't catch it. he's close, too.
his hands wrap around to the small of your back and pull you off the wall until your figure stands weakly in his arms, craving another release.
i miss you, the voice screams again in your head, i want you back.
"i messed up," you sob into the small space between you, the smell of the open bottle of soap on the shelf wafting into the air.
"no," he whispers into the corner of your mouth, "you didn't."
"god, i'm so sorry."
he ends the torment with another kiss, like punctuation. a final drag of his hips bringing you down, a thick moan into your mouth as his body reaches the same conclusion. warmth in your stomach, heat rising to your neck.
sobs burning in the back of your throat and dying on your tongue.
clarity doesn't quite arrive in the wave it normally would, even with the thick droplets running slowly down the inside of your thigh.
before realization can reach your head, the gentle breeze of his breath grazes the side of your face. he's still close enough to feel, even if your eyes haven't quite focused.
instead, they travel sideways, over to the shelf, where the half-empty bottles of shampoo and soap reside. your body pulls away in favor of the shelf, arm extended as your fingers wrap around the shampoo.
like muscle memory, ilia turns his back to you.
you would always do it after long skates.
after competitions.
after anything that warranted the comfort it offered.
it was co-dependent; everything you did together was.
when you're with someone for three years, when you've grown up with them, when you've devoted every inch of yourself to them in hopes of never losing them, yeah — you become dependent.
and it crumbles when they're gone.
so, you think now — after the torment of this month, after you — he needs it more than ever.
the bottle releases a dollop of liquid into your hand. you warm it in your palms, swallow thickly, and bring the tips of your fingers up to the back of his head.
the tips massage the shampoo into his scalp, letting the liquid turn to foam in his hair, white suds coating the outgrown roots. the scent of warm florals erupts into the air around you, your sinuses opening to the soft aroma.
ilia's eyes flutter shut; although you don't see it, you recognize the way his shoulders slump into relaxation.
your lips press a kiss over another freckle, just by his shoulder blade. another just a few centimeters away. a path that extends to the tip of his shoulder.
a murmur into his skin that sounds too much like an apology.
as if on cue, he turns — like routine, he knows.
the soap washes out. runs down his face and barely evades his eyes.
but their gaze doesn't leave yours.
your hands shake as they brush through his hair.
you're not nervous. you never have been with him.
you're afraid.
scared of screwing up what both of you have already silently accepted as the last time you'll ever do any of this.
an unsteady exhale finds its way into the air from your chest. within seconds, ilia's mouth is enveloping yours again.
it's different.
careful.
as if you'll shatter like something fragile if he isn't.
you return the kiss with a hunger you're still unsure of how to satiate. your body pushes closer as if to solve the problem, to create as little space between you as possible. perhaps, if you hold him tightly enough, the moment never has to end.
slowly, your tired muscles relax, as your mind focuses only on the insistent press of his lips and the warmth of the water slowly beginning to trickle down your back once again. it's now that you notice his tentative steps back into the stream and the palm of his hand finding the back of your head.
it's quiet, save for the running water and sporadic contented hum. intimacy laces itself between connected skin, and your hands tremble as they find the sides of his face.
his skin feels softer now in your hold. perhaps, exhausted from the tiresome months in milan. relaxed, even, under the familiarity of your comforting touch.
carefully, your arms slip around his neck, palms resting over your bent elbows, while his arms mirror the movement at your waist.
the kiss draws into something deeper, too slow to classify as anything less than intimate — romantic, rather than physical. he kisses you for so long that your movement inevitably stills with time, and somewhere, in the corner of the room, an old hand clock strikes one.
you've missed kissing one another for so long, holding each other the way you so delicately had — the same way you do now, under the warm stream — that you don't even realize how personal all of this has become.
ilia almost tells you he loves you on pure instinct.
the phrase burns a hole in his head that no amount of plaster could fix.
now, you're standing entirely still, completely devoid of movement in your limbs. arms wrapped around one another, hugging and kissing oh, so romantically, with tears decorating your cheeks, camouflaged amongst stray droplets of water.
for a moment, you forget that any of this is temporary.
that you're still pretending.
and after what feels like forever, you break apart. slowly, hesitantly, as if to savor every last drop of one another. to commit it all to memory before it's ripped away again.
"ilia," you whisper, lip quivering against your wishes. "we have to stop."
clarity falls on his chest with the weight of an anvil.
"yeah," he clears his throat. "yeah…okay."
he swallows, takes a step back to give you space. "i'm sorry."
maybe, he got carried away.
but you never stopped him.
"don't apologize," is your quiet response, voice fighting to stay afloat.
he nods.
the ball of your foot flinches when it comes into contact with the cold, dry tile. eyes closed, you bear a breath and tread carefully over to the benches, where tossed clothes lie.
the mundane routine plays like an old record — underwear, pants, shirt, jacket. sit, tie on your shoes, repeat for your counterpart.
all in silence that doesn't feel so comfortable, this time around.
your palms smooth over the heavy fabric adorning your waist; the jagged edge at the hem of your sweater catches on the tip of a finger.
ilia's shadow falls into view.
"i'll see you around?"
the question rolls off his tongue like light humor.
none of it is funny.
you nod carefully, "yeah."
biting your inner cheek, you rise slowly to your toes and lean up to his cheek, depositing a kiss onto warm skin.
"take care of yourself, okay?"
"okay."
when you finally walk out, he watches.
and any form of closure he thought he'd gotten leaves with you.
— — —
MARCH 20, 2026.
"they say that when you truly love someone, you find their beauty in places that most don't," your voice explains in the quiet of the gallery as a humble crowd of ten stands around, admiring the photos hanging behind you. "i wanted to capture that here, with my subject."
an older couple nods their heads, and a woman standing a few feet away raises her phone to snap a photo. somewhere in the distance, your professor smiles and makes a note beside your name.
your display pulls the four strongest elements from your portfolio. as most everyone always warned, junior year takes a toll on everyone; you were no exception. but tonight, the work pays off.
the first two are simpler stills from earlier in the semester — an old car with chipped paint, whizzing below a half-dimmed street light, and a plant beginning to bloom with oncoming warmth.
the third is a reflection of moonlight off a window that creates an illusion. something you'd need the eye for, to catch in passing and capture properly.
the fourth became the crowd-favorite. even at a glance, with an untrained eye, it's far from technical. personality oozes through its elements, down to the arrangement of color, and the simple placement of the subject.
the profile of a boy in the bottom left corner, the lens focused on the very tip of his nose, which barely kisses the center of the frame, aligning with the glow of the sun behind it. his hair is blond, a little toned, with roots growing just under an inch from his scalp.
nature brews between winter and spring as he presumedly looks toward the melting body of water before him — eyes masked by bangs. small petals from a cherry blossom tree decorate the outer edge of the approaching shore. two petals rest atop honey-blonde strands of hair, unmoved by the gentle breeze.
a candid, confirmed by parted lips, as if the subject had been speaking.
your smile is warm as you greet more folks in passing, explaining away your visions with each crafted photo, each with different expressions, new meanings. yet still, the invisible pull toward one keeps your heart on a swivel.
love, captured.
the plaque reads in shiny, engraved silver.
the watch on your wrist strikes eight. moonlight shines into the gallery through a nearby skylight, and the warm lighting of the wall lamps makes your eyes grow tired. a low hum of instrumental jazz emanates through the soundproofed space, a maze of art, each piece with its own careful consideration, your peers in various corners of the room.
your gaze finds itself transfixed on the same image passersby found compelling; the soft rays of sun blend into the warm, orange sky. the memory of that moment spreads warmth through your chest in a calm wave.
perhaps, a few weeks ago, you would have willed the sensation away; tonight, you welcome it.
then, a voice breaks you from your thoughts.
"do you think that's my good side? my nose looks a little weird."
a quiet gasp, and the instinctual turn on your heel toward the noise.
ilia stands quietly behind you — a comfortable ten, fifteen feet away — with black-rimmed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, and arms full.
one a resting place for a thick bouquet of red roses and yellow daffodils (which you'd once named your favorite), the other a small, brown teddy bear with a pair of smaller frames to match his own, and a small box of chocolate strawberries attached to its front.
alongside a smile that nearly melts your heart.
"oh my god," you whisper, unmoving as he steps closer and extends his arms out to you.
"they're for you."
glossed lips part in shock, and you mindlessly take the gifts into your own hold, blinking as if to confirm that this is real.
once they're secure, your lips finally stretch into a smile, a thin coat of liquid forming along your waterline.
your eyes admire the items in your hands, grazing along the expanse of the bear's soft fur and up to the tiny pair of glasses on its nose. then, to the bouquet — a small card perched on a stem sticking up in the center.
his writing is still as messy as ever.
it's perfect.
i'm so proud of you ♡
— illie
a little circular head with two ears and a smiley face drawn beside his name.
"is that a bear?" you ask, looking up with tears in your eyes.
"i tried."
it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you.
you place the gifts carefully on the hardwood floor, leaning them up against the wall, just below your photos.
and before he can get another word in, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a hug.
"you should be training," you whisper into his ear as the tips of his hair brush the side of your cheek.
"you're more important."
at that, your stomach drops a little.
your arms tighten.
"how did you even know about this?"
his chin relaxes into your shoulder. "you posted about it when i was in milan, and," he clears his throat, "i wrote it down…in case."
you pull back, "in case what?"
"you wanted me here."
ilia's thumb rises to your cheek to wipe away the tear that falls. rather than protest, you lean into his touch, the softness of the pad of his thumb.
"i wouldn't want anyone else."
the sweet familiarity of his perfume wafts into the air you breathe. when you finally step back, smoothing over your sweater, your body misses his touch — his warmth.
"everybody loved you," you tell him quietly as you lean over to retrieve the bear and flowers, scooping them into your arms. "it was a hit." most everyone has already cleared out by now, while the other students bid goodbye to your professor, the soft hum of their conversations blurring into background noise behind you.
"i would have thought you wouldn't use me."
"i didn't have time to choose new photos," you admit. "and…" you trail off as you turn to look at the framed image again, "i think it still applies."
the name, you mean.
love.
ilia insists on walking you home, keeping a flattened palm on the small of your back as you walk side-by-side down the pavement.
you should protest.
that night at the rink, one month ago, should have been the last time you saw him. it was meant to serve as a point of closure, to let both of you finally begin to move on.
instead, it took the opposite effect.
ilia showed up tonight because he hasn't stopped thinking about you since the moment your feet padded out the locker room door.
and you welcomed him back — though you tell yourself again that it's just for tonight — because he hasn't left yours, either.
yet still, you stand your ground; he understands, quietly.
"you didn't have to do this," you whisper to him as you approach the door to your building, somewhere he hasn't seen in half a year, only stopping by the one time at the start of your first semester.
"i made time for you," is the response he gives, at which your body almost freezes. "i'll keep making time for you."
the very thing that tore you apart, laid bare.
you don't acknowledge it.
how could you?
you fear that if you do, you'll end up doing something you'll regret — if selfishly relapsing and having sex with him in the rink wasn't already shameful.
you swallow.
planting a kiss on his cheek only fuels the flame you thought you'd put out; you do it, anyway.
his head turns, lips find yours with determination that nearly makes you relinquish your strength all over again.
for a moment, you let it happen.
then, you relent.
"ilia."
"i know."
you stand back and wish him good luck at worlds with a disheartened smile. walk into the building and up to your dorm, where your roommates greet you with warm smiles and endless questions about the items in your arms.
one tells you not to give in; you nod reassuringly, knowing the only person who knows about the rink is lily (who secretly beamed with happiness when you told her, because she really did like you and ilia together).
as you drift off to sleep after a long, hot shower, teddy bear tucked comfortably beneath your arm, emotions rise again to your throat.
you don't cry because you're upset.
you're simply feeling too much.
and maybe this time, you really do consider getting back together with him.
— — —
MARCH 25, 2026.
prague's air is brisk at this hour.
ilia isn't sure how long it has been since he took the elevator down to this level and sat in the chair by the pool.
it's far too cold to jump in the water.
though he considers it anyway to clear his head.
the legs are low to the ground, and he sits on the very edge of the seat, elbows pressed against his kneecaps as his forehead rests on a folded forearm.
crickets emerge from the grass. the gentle breeze creates a quiet hum of moving water. shadows pass by as other hotel guests make their way to their rooms, some still checking in.
it must be at least eleven by now, if he had to guess; roman hasn't checked on him. perhaps, he'd fallen asleep, or had called tatiana and liza.
the men's discipline starts tomorrow. the short — an event he hasn't been nervous about for nearly two years, now.
of course, the downside of being undefeated was unimaginable. but the perks it came with the erosion of nerves. anxiety. fear.
they're all back.
not because he isn't prepared. nor is it because he's suddenly incapable.
tomorrow, he has something to prove.
somewhere in the blur of noise, a keycard beeps, and the lock on the nearby door clicks open; it becomes familiar to his ears, by now.
footsteps draw closer. the unmistakable sound of a suitcase rolling on pavement. just another guest checking out the pool, probably the fourth of the night, since he came outside. he half-expects the "wow, come look" next, much like everyone else (usually small children).
"do you think they'll accept my credentials this late? or am i doomed to an overpriced ticket in the crowd?"
ilia could pick out that voice in a crowd of one thousand, if he were asked to.
he trips over the edge of the lounge chair trying to get to you. your laughter buzzes into the air, a few careful steps forward and away from your luggage, the cheesy custom tag he'd gotten you one year for your birthday hanging off the handle.
you're in his arms before you can even think of stopping him.
it's different from last time. from the rink, even.
the sweetness of his giggles bubbling to the surface in your ear, his body using its strength to hoist you into the air, spinning around like it's some kind of corny romance film you'd make him watch. your legs wrap snugly around his waist as your palms rise to his cheeks, cupping the rosy skin in your hands.
"hi, illie bear," you whisper.
the kiss arrives before his words do.
god, he's never been so happy to hear that stupid nickname.
"what are you doing here?" a mumble into your mouth that barely sounds audible.
"one, slow down," you laugh, thumb brushing over his cheek. "two, you went to support me, so…i came here to support you."
you haven't been set to accompany him to a competition since last season.
olympics were the only trip you could finagle this year, and you never went.
so the time off school felt reasonable.
and the federation still has your information readily available.
"you shouldn't even be here," he shakes his head. "i'm wasting your time and money."
"no, you're not," you reassure him gently, pressing your forehead to his until the tips of your noses brush. "and this was my choice."
you kiss the corner of his mouth, lingering for a beat to savor the moment.
"i'm tired of missing things, ilia."
his fingers flex against the undersides of your thighs, keeping your weight comfortably in his grasp. "even still."
you shake your head.
"i missed your dream, illie," you counter, arms slipping around his neck. "no more."
behind him, another burst of wind blows through the chlorinated water; a light rock plops into the pool.
startled, his head pivots to the noise. returns almost as quickly as it went. at his flinching, you laugh again.
your presence really makes him this on edge now?
instead of trying to make sense of the situation, ilia kisses you again.
you dip your head to the side to better the angle, depositing a little satisfied hum into his mouth to egg him on. he grins against your lips and pulls you tighter, bending his knees until he's sitting on the lounge chair again.
this time, taking his favorite girl in the world along with him.
you melt into his lap as if you were never meant to be anywhere else, fingers carding into his freshly-cut hair just to keep him close, to let every inch of your body connect with his.
"this is my hoodie," you murmur jokingly, free hand fisting a handful of the fabric at the tip of his shoulder.
"i missed you," he simply states.
"missed you more."
his palms run along the expanse of your lower back, your own sweatshirt rising to expose warm skin. at his touch, you kiss him a little harder.
"dude, this is mine," he points out lightheartedly, "you said you gave everything back."
"i also said i missed you more."
the sound of his contented laughter makes your heart soar out of your chest.
god, he's so cute.
he's so perfect. and he's yours again.
even if you really never lost him, anyway.
"i love you," he breathes happily, gripping you so tightly that you think he may never let go.
your lips stretch into a wide smile, and a swell of tears forms in your eyes — happy, this time. absolutely overjoyed.
"i never stopped," you whisper back.
your forehead rests against his again, laughter moving across your bodies like a transaction. you can feel his hands trembling at your back, still a little put off, a little anxious.
so you offer another kiss to serve as comfort, a little slower than the last.
it lasts so long that you start to forget where you end and he begins. seconds blurring into minutes, no noise for yards, save for the occasional chirp of a cricket and the chime of the elevator just by the door to the pool area.
people walk past and stare through the windows. you don't care.
some guy yells at you to get a room.
ilia pulls back, "fuck off."
you nudge his arm, giggling quietly as he leans back up to envelope your mouth again, unwilling to let some old fuck ruin his mood.
the man shouts back that he's going to tell the front desk.
ilia flips him off.
"oh my god, ilia," you sigh, "you're gonna get us kicked out."
"did you get a room?"
you break off with furrowed brows, the pads of ilia's thumbs rubbing circles into the small of your back. he cocks his own brow, urging your answer.
"…yes?"
"'kay," as he stands from the chair, and you gasp, sliding to your feet, "we'll go there, then."
he laces his fingers with yours. kisses you against the elevator wall. refuses to let go of you until you're in the hotel room, dragging your suitcase behind him.
the luggage doesn't move past the entryway.
he pulls you back into his lap like you never left, fingers cupping the side of your face, a smile tugging at his lips again.
"i love you, illie bear."
the words roll off your tongue so sweetly that he swears he'll never complain about them again.
you needed the break — even if every second felt like torture. you needed to grow, separately. to mature, separately. to sort your own lives before entwining them as tightly as they were.
ilia knows one thing for certain: he never wants to lose you again.
and he won't.
you've always loved each other too much to stay apart forever, anyway.
— — —
EPILOGUE - APRIL, 2026.
"you just got back two days ago, and you're already leaving again."
ilia turns to face you; a droplet of vanilla ice cream stains the corner of his mouth.
"perks of being a celebrity."
"you are not a celebrity," you tease, licking the tip of your thumb to wipe off the ice cream. "you're an athlete, and you're busy. plus, you're way too shy to be on a red carpet, anyway."
"my worlds experience would say otherwise."
your face turns cold. "never bring that shit up in front of me again," you demand, finger pointing accusingly at his chest. "there was no reason for you to have no protection. i cannot believe people thought it was cool to follow someone into an elevator, of all places."
"hey, i'm okay," he reassures. "and we're working on that."
"good."
as you approach the all-too-familiar front lawn of ilia's house, your chest releases a sigh. he takes your empty cup and stacks it with his, tossing it into the bin around the side of the house.
"i'm gonna miss you," you whisper as his arms wrap around you, hands settling behind your back.
"you always say that."
"oh, god forbid," you roll your eyes. "we've been back together for like, two weeks. and you used to cry every time you left. talk about dependent."
ilia scoffs.
"co-dependent, more like," he corrects. "you barely slept in your own house. and you used to just borrow my clothes without permission."
"you still have my freaking aerie shorts, dude. oh, and you flew all the way to vienna for one night with the hope of speaking to me, instead of just going straight to switzerland and asking to talk when you got back."
"we did more than talk."
okay. fair enough.
"well, whatever," you huff. "fly safe, okay? and tell your dad i said goodbye, too. and call me when you get to philly."
"i thought we were working on that dependency thing."
your eyes narrow, "ilia roman."
"okay, okay, jeez — i'll call you." he pulls you into a hug and rests his chin on the top of your head, lowering his voice. "like i wasn't gonna anyway…" he mutters.
you giggle into his chest; he smiles.
"i'll miss you, too."
out of the corner of your eye, you catch mysti watching through the window. your smile stretches a little wider, and she scratches the glass. you wave.
"she misses her mama."
you pull back, chin resting at the valley of his chest. "you know i came back to visit and saw them when you weren't here."
"still."
he leans forward, kisses you gently — much less of a display than it would be if you weren't standing on his lawn for anyone, including his parents, to see.
"i missed her mama, too," he adds quietly.
you entertain him for ten, twenty more seconds before breaking off, stepping off the grass and onto the pavement. he masks a frown.
"call me when you land, and take a bunch of pictures."
"will do."
you're halfway down the road to your house, still shouting to him.
"love you, illie!"
(he already knows).
bright and early in the morning, he's awake, packing the last of his things into his luggage and gathering the rest into a duffel. he says his goodbyes to tatiana and liza (and of course, the cats) and heads out with roman.
the flight to philadelphia from vienna isn't long. only barely surpasses an hour, but it's easier than driving. it's easier to fly straight to florida afterward for the first stars on ice stop.
still, the lack of wi-fi is punishing for someone this addicted to their phone.
the minute he steps back into the terminal, the phone buzzes to life in his pocket. messages, dm requests that he won't answer, subscriptions on various apps. some other useless pop-ups.
one sticks out.
you tagged him in a post.
your_username
your_username: life with my favorite person
he almost thinks it's fake, and this is all some figment of his imagination from the change in air pressure; his fingers grip the device tighter.
you'd always agreed to stay private. it was easier. safer.
maybe — he guesses — that was before.
maybe, you're tired of pretending he doesn't exist. of making him do the same.
a text comes through next.
as if you'd been waiting until you knew he saw the post to press send.
YOU: i love u illie bear 🫶
YOU: now everyone gets to know
roman asks ilia what he's smiling at.
"nothing."
ilia_quadg0d_malinin commented on your post:
my good luck charm. love u forever 🧸❤️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i didn’t feel like setting up a whole fic for this, but i really needed to get this shit off my chest. because tfym you choreographed this and then decided to touch your shit. okay. okay white boy. okay.
𝓬ontains: smut mdni, blowjob, cumming in mouth, swallowing, bathroom sex. fwb relationship. ok thank u ♱ masterlist
༄⋆₊❅.⛸️𓂃.˚৻ꪆ
the logistics of head mid-stars on ice
bathroom. now.
the message you sent from behind the locked door when you heard ilia's voice trickle into the dressing room. you only had to wait about three minutes before his knuckle rapped on the door.
you opened the door; let him pass through; closed it behind him; locked it again.
lunged forward and gripped the mint green lapels on his blazer, kissing him with a fervor he hadn't felt since the first time you slept together (you've been fucking on the DL for a while, now).
and, well, now you're here.
sinking to your knees, fingers pulling open the three buttons on his dress pants, watching ilia lean into the vanity behind him without a protest forming on his tongue.
rather, his fingers clawing your hair and gathering it into his palm as your tongue darts out to wet your lips. your hand reaches into the fabric and pulls out his cock, taking the silky white shirt with it.
"saw what you did," as a trail of saliva drips onto the head; he swallows. "who am i not to indulge?"
"oh, so you assume it was for you?"
"wasn't it?"
you wrap your lips around his tip, mouth warm as your tongue swirls over the surface. his head tilts back, and a faint groan slips into the air. you pop off, a string of spit connecting your mouth to his skin.
"you're always begging me to blow you, illie," you coo, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock.
you pepper a trail of wet kisses down the length, hand wrapped tightly around the base. he runs a hand through his hair, forehead already slick with sweat from the performance, work song blaring through the arena halls outside.
you moan against his tip; his eyes nearly roll back.
his chest rises and falls heavily, necklaces glowing in the light as his fingers tighten their grip on the makeshift ponytail.
you take him into your mouth again; precum glides across the roof of your mouth. another semi-loud groan from ilia's throat that makes you grin around his cock.
"fuck," he mumbles, slurring something in russian under his breath.
his supporting hand grips the edge of the vanity until the corner of the countertop nearly slices his palm. your eyes bat up at him, cheeks hollowing as you suck him down. your fingers fist what you don't take, pump slightly at the base.
a breathy moan vibrates around his dick, the sound desperate as if he's the one doing this to you; fucking your face.
but no — you love being the one in control, watching his face scrunch up and feeling his hand gently push your head down.
especially in this suit — god, you've always found it hot, but usually, he and you have the decency to wait until after hours to fool around. no one knows you've been up to this, sneaking around for god knows how long on this tour. even before that. even at worlds.
you just want to make sure that ilia knows his message was received.
oh, and that you love to suck his cock.
ilia smiles, watches his phone flash on the vanity beside him as another number begins, another announcement echoes through the packed arena.
"you know you're almost on?"
you pop off with a loud slurp, "i'd rather miss my cue."
he laughs.
"wanna keep tasting you."
"then don't waste time," his voice taunts as his eyebrows quirk, and his hand nudges your head closer as a signal.
you kiss the tip. take him again, hand still forming a tight ring around him, stroking carefully as the edges of your teeth just barely graze his skin. your eyes flutter shut when you feel him tense between your lips, a careful sign; a warning.
normally, you'd pull away; let him do what he wants, no worry about a mess or some form of humiliation. you're shameless, really — it's why you started messing around in the first place.
but this time, you can't afford for the mess to spill on your custom-made costume, so you settle.
pull back and let him watch the strings of saliva form between your mouth and his dick. gently stick out your tongue and direct the head to rest against it as your hand lazily strokes the remainder of his length.
you look up through thick lashes with half-smeared lip gloss and saliva decorating your chin. pumping, moaning, until you suddenly feel it smear across the back of your throat.
hot, thick, melting on your tongue and pooling at the center as your palm delicately works every last drop out. the corners of your lips quirk into a grin, and ilia mirrors from above, winks down at you.
fuck, if you had time to get his cock in you.
your tongue curls upward as your lips pull shut, and watchful eyes fall on your throat, studying the way it bobs when you swallow.
you lean forward and press a final, featherlight kiss to the very tip, where a little wetness remains, and tactfully stuff it back into his pants. make easy work of tucking the shirt back in and buttoning up the minty fabric.
your thumb swipes along the edge of your lip and cleans off the smear of lip gloss.
and you stand again in front of him, lowered just slightly from leaning against the sink. ilia looks up at you with lazy eyes, lips parted as a warm stream of breath releases into the air between you.
"well," he whispers, "that's your cue."
kissing the tip of his nose, you giggle, "more later? finally have a hotel room."
"of course," he teases, "wouldn't dare waste it."
you fluff the curled tips of your hair and unlock the door with a soft click, walking out into the hallway and down the black fabric tunnel.
ilia's head falls back; a humorless laugh as he shakes his head, tongue poking through the inside of his cheek. the sound of the announcer bleeds into the quiet of the empty bathroom.
"please welcome back, two-time national champion…"
𝓸r ── .✦ it must be pretty exciting to watch your boyfriend win his third world championship title in a row. at least, that's what most people would assume. so what exactly prompts you to bring up the trainwreck of february thirteenth? you don't really know. but when you do — and ultimately decide to push him further, for good measure — ilia decides to let you have a taste of gold, too...in his own, special way.
⟢ 𝓻achel: so like i'm in this group chat on twitter right and we saw this photo of ilia at worlds right and we shared some ideas if you're all picking up what i'm putting down and ilia malinin i am free tonight at 7 if you are also free tonight at 7 because i am free and would like to go to dinner with you tonight at 7 if you are also free. uhm. anyway enjoy ilia malinin and his gold medal!!!11!1!!!1 happy reading xo
── tags below the cut .ᐟ
𝓬ontent: smut mdni, improper use of a gold medal, fingering, she taunts him about losing olys, he doesn't like that, unprotected sex, creampie, bruising, his hand is on her neck but he isn't like choking her, lanyard as a gag, rough sex, she cries a little, slight degradation if u read between the lines??, (brief) aftercare cus he's passionate not rude
༄⋆₊❅.⛸️🥇𓂃.˚৻ꪆ
one month ago, your life was filled with cameras, anxiety, unyielding pressure, and fresh tears that you carefully wiped away as you comforted ilia through what was arguably the worst moment of his career.
today, you're barely past the hotel room door's threshold before his mouth is capturing yours, tongue slipping past your lips as if it belongs there.
the door slams behind you with the pressure of his body pressing against yours. you gasp into his mouth, fingers tightening into his freshly-cut hair, hips involuntarily chasing the friction of his.
his gold medal still hangs between you, the deep blue lanyard heavy around his neck as he runs a palm firmly over your side; it lands just below your ribcage, squeezing the flesh until you whine.
and you're still pulling him closer. your free hand grips his bicep and slides upward, in pursuit of a place to rest, yet not finding one. instead, you crane your neck further, deepening the kiss until the only noise left in the entryway is the sloppy, desperate, wet sound.
he trails to your waist and hooks the bend of a finger into your skirt, pulling, pulling, until it falls to the floor on its own.
you've barely processed the loss when he shoves his middle and index fingers into you, pulling a raw noise from your throat that anyone close by could hear through the thin walls.
"ohmygod," you gasp. "ilia—"
"shh," he hushes firmly, lips bruising yours again as his fingers piston into you, painful pleasure coursing through your body as you fight to keep yourself upright.
"they'll hear."
"fucking let them," you mumble in response; another whine pries from your chest and falls on his ears.
his cock twitches in his pants. his fingers spread apart inside, opening you up until the sear burns between your legs, up to your stomach, heat transferring to your fingertips as they fist his hair like a lifeline.
the binding pressure in your stomach builds higher, weakness overtaking your limbs.
ilia's thumb finds your clit; he presses until another moan shoots into the air.
you feel his grin against the underside of your jaw, where he mouths wet kisses into your soft skin. you can't help the heat blooming in your stomach, the way your hips chase his fingers to bring you closer to the edge.
it hits when he murmurs lowly into the crook of your neck.
"come."
your head falls to his shoulder; forehead presses into the strap as his fingers fuck a gush of white out of you. you breathe weakly into his shirt, hands and knees trembling with the rush of pleasure.
ilia's fingers swiftly slip out from between your thighs — now slick with a thin coat of cum — and brings them to his mouth. he swipes them over his lips, letting the liquid collect on the surface before his tongue licks them clean.
you swallow at the intensity of his gaze.
ilia isn't usually like this.
he's sweet, gentle, kind. the type of guy to hold the door for an elderly woman behind him or wave to someone walking on the street. he's attentive, but focused.
one month ago, he was a puddle in your arms, lost in the comfort of your embrace as your hands carded through the long strands of hair on his head.
and here he is now — someone you almost don't recognize.
"where—" you pant, head distracted by the fizzling high and slickness still sitting on your inner thighs, "where was that in milan?"
"what do you mean?"
"i mean," you swallow, "you won gold in milan. and then, y'know…"
your fingers curl around the medal and tug gently. "you flopped and placed 8th."
"flopped?"
when he repeats it back, you hear the edge in his voice. even the small reminder, just barely masked as a joke, settles wrong in his veins. you can tell, from the look behind his eye, the tick in the way he breathes.
"well, you know," you nudge.
your fingers still grip him for stability as a small beam of light shines on his cheek from the peephole beside your head.
"you blew it."
it sounds like a taunt.
ilia takes it as such.
he doesn't like to be made fun of.
you don't tease him.
his kiss is just as desperate this time; more bruising.
his hands move to your waist and pull you backward, feet stepping behind him until the side of his leg brushes the edge of the mattress.
he hoists you up and forces your legs around his waist. you hold on with a tight grasp as he turns, leans over to essentially toss you onto the bed.
you brace yourself with your elbows; heavy breaths part from your lips as your eyes follow his movement, crossing his arms over to remove his shirt.
you nearly moan.
he tosses the medal onto the nightstand; when your gaze follows it, his eyes twitch like a threat.
you swallow.
okay.
his fingers find the buckle on his belt. yank it from the loops around his waist and toss it to the floor. then, it's the button, the zipper coming undone, heavy fabric sliding down smooth, thick thighs.
you feel yourself clench around nothing. a droplet of release nearly soaking the sheet beneath you when it drips.
the time between that and his hand pushing up your shirt as he hovers above you seems to pass in the blink of an eye. you're barely processing it until the fabric is on the floor, and his lips are slotted with yours again, no regard for safety as he kisses you as if you've wronged him.
"ilia," you try, but he presses harder, shaking his head as his hand moves between you.
and then, you gasp so loud that it half-echoes.
no warning, no carefulness, no moment to adjust.
a low apology against your lips, buried between heavy breaths.
ilia groans, a quiet hiss tacked onto the end at the way your walls constrict around him, your body stiff from the uncomfortable suddenness.
but pain quickly turns to pleasure — the harsh glide of his cock, one hand keeping you open at your inner thigh, with the other wrapped around the side of your neck, keeping your head angled in his direction.
a bead of sweat forms above his eyebrow and drips onto your cheek. you feel the wetness cascading down your rosy skin, barely noticeable amid the flood of sensation coursing through your bloodstream as it all rushes to your head.
the dullness of the hotel past midnight amplifies the squelch, the moment; only a dim light casting through the crack beneath the door, the soft pitter-patter of feet on outdated carpet in the hallway outside, the hushed actions of other inhabitants trying to reach their rooms.
it's almost obscene — far rougher than anything you're used to with him. and further, he doesn't seem to care.
even through blurred vision — tears clinging to your eyelashes — you notice his subtle glance to the bedside table.
"put it on," you manage through unstable breaths, the tips of your nails grasping at his arms for support and leaving marks in their wake. "since you're so — accomplished."
it leaves your lips before your conscience can shut it down.
and — against your better judgment, and to no one's surprise, given the way this has all unfolded — he reaches for the medal.
"is this all a joke to you?"
he drops the lanyard around his neck; the weight of the gold suddenly hits your chest. the pressure between your legs builds with another forceful thrust. the medal collides with your skin, pulling a moan from your strained lungs.
and then, your body decides to push his buttons.
you don't do that.
but you won't lie and say that any of this — the force of his hips against yours, the brush of his tip against your cervix, the grip on your neck that starts to bruise — doesn't feel good.
great, even.
and coming from the gentlest person you know?
hot.
"no," you scoff. "but that performance was."
he mouths the skin just below your jaw, teeth taking it between them and applying pressure until you wince. you swallow down the lump in your throat.
"who are you talking to right now?"
"you, i think."
"you think?"
"i think you're a little," you sputter, chest attempting to catch your breath as his hand slips away from your neck and finds your chest, "—overconfident."
his eyes catch on the delicate fingerprints left in his hand's wake on your neck; though he's internally a little proud, they narrow.
"because i won?"
"because it isn't going to erase the shiny 8th-place participation trophy."
you hear the gear turn in his head.
he stills and fists the fabric around his neck, angrily (yet somehow, carefully) ripping it off.
your eyes anchor on the movement. too shocked by the suddenness of it all, the halt of his hips, the pulse of him inside you that he doesn't care enough to notice; you feel it travel into your stomach.
he folds the lanyard — thick, wide in his grasp.
you don't know what he's doing with it.
you find out when he coaxes it between your lips and presses.
one hand on each side of your face.
each end of the polyester.
shutting you up.
when you try to speak, only a small noise comes out — something akin to a squeak. it's muffled by the material.
"no more talking," he tells you firmly, pulling the lanyard a little tighter.
oh.
okay.
when he moves again, you wince at the sear. and he quickly realizes that this won't be practical.
so he takes the strap into one hand, slips the lanyard over your head, and holds it in place by the medal. just beside your ear.
where he can control how tightly it constricts.
while his other hand finds your thigh and spreads your leg further, letting him slip deeper until air evades your lungs.
you moan into the lanyard and reach for any semblance of him to hold onto — his bicep, his shoulder, the sliced strands of hair that are just long enough to grasp.
but god, it feels good.
so fucking good.
meanwhile, his lips continue to work at your neck, trailing down to your collarbone, where his teeth graze sweat-slick skin.
thrusts harder, until the wetness mixes with connecting skin, strings of arousal coating his and your thighs as he fucks it out of you with no remorse for the pain — albeit enjoyable — it causes.
you try to mumble his name, but the syllables barely escape, chest too fragile and throat burning with the ghost of his fingertips.
he tightens the lanyard.
the punishingly rough drag of his dick along your walls pushes you closer to the edge. a sob escapes your throat and vibrates against the taut strap running across your lips; the corners of your mouth burn from the friction.
they'll probably be sliced in the morning.
you lift a hand to loosen it — or try — but he catches it before your fingers can even brush the blue material. he sets your palm back to where it was and returns his own to your thigh. a handprint begins to form.
he tightens the lanyard.
tugs.
a tear springs to your eye; another wells in the other. more brim in your waterline until you blink, sending them down flushed cheeks in a lewd display as weakened, breathless groans fall from forcefully-parted lips.
ilia kisses a droplet away at the curve of your jaw.
you squirm, scratching thick, bright red marks into his back that sting; he hisses into your skin. it seems you won't be the only one wearing the evidence of this moment into next week.
"god—"
"i said you're done talking," he rasps.
a hard thrust that pushes him straight into your sweet spot.
it stings.
you whimper.
"about the olympics," his stare burns through your eyes, "and about today."
you've never heard him speak this way.
to anyone.
let alone yourself.
maybe you like it.
his hand squeezes your thigh, eyes focused on the finger-shaped bruises still forming on the side of your neck. "i won," as another thrust rams against your sweet spot, "it's over," you whine into the polyester, "and you're done talking."
he grabs your chin with his fingers and turns your head toward him.
"got that?"
if there weren't a piece of fabric lodged between your lips, you'd be grinning.
just slightly.
instead, you nod silently — refraining from pissing him off further.
he tightens the lanyard.
and when he smiles and leans forward, pressing the gentlest kiss to the tip of your nose…
you break.
you sob heavily around the fabric, gripping ilia as tightly as you can; heat scorches in your lower belly, so heavily that you can barely function.
your walls constrict around him, squeezing his cock as the orgasm tears through every muscle in your body. you cry out his name, all muffled and broken by the dark blue strap.
tears stream down your face, wet and ugly and tattered. your chest rises and falls with every deep, painful breath.
air barely makes its way into your lungs.
and for his own selfish reasons, ilia lifts the medal off your head and tosses it haphazardly onto the bedside table.
his mouth finds yours when he comes, the kiss all tongue and teeth. it's sloppy and heavy and hot, and if the way your pussy flutters around him is anything to show for it, he'd say you could get off again just from that alone.
he deposits a sigh into your mouth, voice weak and half-wrecked.
then, a low mumble against your lips that sounds too much like russian.
warmth dripping down your thigh as you gasp for air, each attempt sounding more like a cry than a breath.
ilia pulses inside of you — faint, but enough to notice.
and finally, he carefully shifts his hips. angles them just the way he needs and slides out.
you wince.
his thumb finds the corner of your mouth. the pad traces over burned skin, red with irritation, stinging slightly under his touch.
he kisses the spot.
another stray tear runs down your cheek. it catches on your jaw, and you breathe out — steadily, for the first time.
"are you okay?"
icy blue eyes softening when they find yours; returning to the sweet, affectionate gaze they always look at you with.
you nod slowly, "mhm."
his fingers brush your hair away from your face, a little damp with sweat when the clumped strands land on the pillow behind you.
this is who you're used to.
this is ilia.
or, is it?
"i didn't know you were…"
"—sometimes."
"oh."
he chuckles softly. when you try to match it, everything hurts — from your face to your stomach, down to pained calves.
he parts from your body with a soft, lingering kiss to your cheek and steps into the bathroom.
water runs. your ears half-tune out the noise in their jaded state, and your eyes find a speck of dust on the ceiling to focus on; it lets your body forget about the ache still pulsing through it.
but then — quietly — ilia pads back in.
one arm slips beneath the bend in your knee, the other across your shoulder blades.
he lifts your frame into his hold; your arms wrap around his neck as he carries you carefully into the bathroom and clicks the door shut with his foot.
as he lowers your body into the warm water, your limbs begin to loosen. he slips in behind you and rests his soft palms on your waist, pulling your back against his chest until the back of your head lies carefully on his shoulder.
he kisses the side of your head, letting the plush of his lips linger against the skin.
the calm nature, the carefulness in his touch, the soft press of his lips — all things you're accustomed to.
things that make ilia, ilia.
and when you think about tonight — the marks decorating your neck and thigh, and the redness around your lips — it isn't anything like your version of him; like the person holding you as if you're the most precious thing in the world.