Mages With a Death Wish

Dragon Age Solavallen His Love, His Heart, His Home In Consultation with Spirits The Emotions That Sting Cold Comfort - Explicit When Lovers Call in Dreams - Explicit Tooth and Wing An Elf Walks Into a Tavern The Price of Regret Conversations in a Bathhouse For She Was Radiant in the Morning - Explicit And Yet

Baldur's Gate 3 Gale x Tav Melancholy By Moonlight Ruminations and Battle The Hopeless Longing of the Day Food for Thought Questions and Answers On The Performance of Virtuous Actions Let the Last Note Die The Morning After Unanswered Prayers The Wren and the Wizard The Games Wizards Play - Explicit

@optimisticgrey tagged me and since it is also Wednesday, I figured I would kill two birds with one stone. I just posted my lates Gale and Tadeous fic so I'm afraid it's going to be all Solavellan from now on - at least until i get this chapter written. So here's the last thing I wrote:

She studied him through lowered lashes. She had committed every detail to memory but still there was always something new to see. After Solas revealed himself, Varric had commented that physically he resembled the wolf he was named for. She hadn’t agreed. To her, Solas had always resembled a sword.

She saw it even more clearly now. His face all sharp angles, keen edges and intensity. A slender, blade-like frame; hard, elegant and dangerous. Steel made flesh. But steel was simply raw material. It could be forged as a shield, providing protection or shaped as a blade, meant to hurt, to kill.

Had Mythal had a hand in shaping his body or had the lyrium known his new purpose before he did? Either way, he had become a weapon as soon as he left the Fade.

Tagged by @starlightweave thank you for tagging me 😊I will place the questions below for anyone who wants to play.

1. What's your blog title from?

My blog started out as a Dragon Age blog with an emphases on Solas. I found the most recent addition to the series... not to my taste let's say. So I bought BG3 and started to play. Gale captivated me. I started adding posts and reposts about him which necessitated in change in title. I think both Solas and Gale have death wishes - or at least both believe the world would be better off without them- hence the name.

2. Latest movie? What did you think?

I don't go to the movies often so the last film I saw was Project Hail Mary. I had read the book so was a little apprehensive about how it would be adapted but I loved it.

3. What are you looking forward to right now?

Fall. I hate summer. It's too hot, there are no fun holidays and right now I can't even make my favorite summer meals (salads). Fall means cozy sweaters, colorful leaves, apple cider doughnuts and fun crafters markets.

4. If you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

Finish chapter 3 of my Solavellan fic. How hard is it to write an angsty argument? Really hard, apparently.

5. Drink of choice?

Water for the most part. I recently discovered Sanpellegrino CIAO and I really enjoy having one or two with dinner.

6. Hair routine?

I wash it? I was born with what everyone is now calling Irish hair which is flat on top with weird almost curls underneath. I used to try everything to make it look less like a rat's nest. Now I just use a shampoo bar and let it dry naturally.

7.Favorite way to travel? Is there another you want to try?

I really enjoy train travel. The views are usually outstanding and you don't have to drive (I have epilepsy so I can't drive anyway). Unfortunately, trains take forever to arrive places so I end up flying. I hate flying.

8. Favorite month and why?

October. I love Halloween. Besides that, true fall doesn't really arrive until then. In September it's still too warm. October is cozy so I can cuddle up with a book and some hot apple cider. It usually starts raining again which I also love.

9. Favourite time of day and why?

I don't really have a favorite time. I am a night owl. It's usually the only time I have to myself when it's quiet. My husband is an extrovert which can be exhausting so any time he's asleep works for me.

10. Do you play or follow any sports?

Nope. I don't have an athletic bone in my body and was traumatized by parents who pushed me to play. My husband is an athlete. He played professional soccer so we watch that. I tell everyone my team is Arsenal but it's more to annoy him since he is a Man U fan.

11. What kind of music has been stuck in your head lately?

The Dragon Age Inquisition soundtrack. I have no idea why but if I play it when I am working, I get so much more done.

12. Dishes or laundry?

Laundry. I hate doing dishes but there is something about pulling warm clothes out of the dryer that I love. Luckily my husband prefers doing the dishes.

13. Something you learned recently?

That I am AuDHD which makes total sense if you know me.

14. What would you talk about if you could give a TED talk on anything?

Parenting. I think parents tend to put their kids in the box they want them in without actually getting to know them or give them chance to explore who they are. I think its important to parent the child you have, not the child you were hoping for but so many people don't understand what that means or how it works.

15. Piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

That you don't have to have things all figured out by the time you are technically an adult. Grant yourself some grace and try to figure out who you are not who people tell you, you are. Also that your perspectives will shift as you get older. That's just experience and its okay.

16. Piece of advice you would give yourself five years ago?

Don't let anyone tell you what you should or should not be doing at your age. You only have one life so you need to enjoy it even if other people your age think you are weird.

17. Do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any?

I do believe in luck. I can't explain some events in my life otherwise. Sometimes you are in the right place in the right time via a quirk of fate.

18. Are you musical (play any instruments, sing)? Would you ever perform for an audience?

No. I have zero talent in that arena, which is funny given that my cannon BG3 OC is a bard. Wishful thinking maybe?

19. Write, type or speak?

Write. I would much rather write in a notebook than type something out. As far as speaking is concerned, I find text to speech programs don't work well for me.

20. What do you wish someone would ask you?

I love it when people ask about my OCs. It doesn't happen often but when it does I get so excited. I could go on for days about them. Also meta views on Solas and Gale. I could talk about those for hours as well.

Tagging @riddlerosehearts @perpetualmaladaptivedaydream @dr4gonwriter @vhen-harel @fadetouchedlurker @pooyaaaaan

1. What's your blog title from?

2. Latest movie? What did you think?

3. What are you looking forward to right now?

4. If you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

5. Drink of choice?

6. Hair routine?

7. Favourite way to travel? Is there another you want to try?

8. Favourite month and why?

9. Favourite time of day and why?

10. Do you play or follow any sports?

11. What kind of music has been stuck in your head lately?

12. Dishes or laundry?

13. Something you learned recently?

14. What would you talk about if you could give a TED talk on anything?

15. Piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

16. Piece of advice you would give yourself five years ago?

17. Do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any?

18. Are you musical (play any instruments, sing)? Would you ever perform for an audience?

19. Write, type or speak?

Thank you to @emberstormrage for tagging me! Hi! You can read her answers here.

I may hedge on some of these as I haven't fully disclosed Tadeous' backstory, yet but I do have some answers:

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Tadeous' mother taught her the art of the blade but she constantly had to tell her to stop using magic during lessons. Tadeous was heavily reliant on her magic at first but her mother knew there would be times when she wouldn't be able to cast a spell.

I don't know that there was anything she was told she had to start doing. She was free to roam and pretty much do as she pleased.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

Tadeous doesn't allow jealousy to enter into the equation. It would be hypocritical. She is a flirt but those flirtations have a purpose. She enjoys it and that joy can be pushed through the harp when she plays. It's also a survival mechanism. She uses intimacy to circumvent the harp's disadvantages. However, that may require her to find a sexual partner who is not necessarily a romantic partner. Would it hurt if Gale found comfort in someone else's arms? Absolutely but she wouldn't say anything and at certain points in their story it might even be a relief.

 Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

Tadeous is an accomplished liar. She prefers lies of omission and half truths since full on lies are hard to keep track of. As a liar, she is very good at sussing out when someone isn't telling her the truth. When it comes to someone telling her something she prefers the truth even if it is unpleasant. Her life has been full of unpleasant things. She can take it.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

Tadeous is a bard, she tells whatever stories she needs to, so I wouldn't say she has a go to story. She avoids telling stories about herself or her past unless cornered. As far as jokes go, she often jokes about the reputation bards have

Why are you excited about this character?

Tadeous is based on a character I used in the D& D campaigns. She was originally supposed to be a factor in one of my player's backstories, when that campaign ended I kept using her when I was the DM for small parties that needed a jack of all trades. She was the most famous bard on the Sword Coast and the running joke was that no matter where she went people recognized her. She even had a beer named after her in one campaign. Eventually, I created an actual backstory for her and wanted to use her as a PC in a campaign but as a forever DM that never happened. Playing Baldur's Gate gave me an opportunity to use her as a PC and she quickly became my favorite. I love writing about her and fleshing out more of her story. It’s also the first time Tadeous has ever had a romantic partner so that's fun.

Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

I have changed and manipulated Forgotten Realms cannon in service of Tadeous' backstory but not game cannon. Tadeous and Gale do kiss much earlier than Act 2 and they do discuss their attraction to each other. Gale is not pining for her because he is afraid to tell her how he feels. They are both upfront about their feelings for each other. However, their individual circumstances conspire to keep them at arms length during Act 1.

List of Questions

My questions for the people I am about to tag: 4, 11, 17 and 30. For the Author questions: B and I

I finished my latest Gale and Tadeous fiction (yay). Thanks to those of you who tagged me, it helped push me along. This takes place after Let The Last Note Die and it is a morning after conversation.

Gale saved Tadeous' life with a kiss but what does that mean for their future together - especially with a wizard who is a walking bomb and a bard who is bound to a harp that will eventually kill her.

Thank you @perpetualmaladaptivedaydream for the tag. I've made some progress on my BG3 fic and am eager to see what people think. @dr4gonwriter asked me about Gale's possible walk of shame after saving Tadeous' life, given that everyone would assume something completely different as he left her tent. So I present you with a little banter:

"I can't believe it!" Karlach practically sang. Tadeous didn’t need to look to know she was bouncing on her toes. "I mean, I know you two have been dancing around it, but I never thought it would actually happen. I'm so happy for you both!"

"It's not like that, Karlach," Gale's voice was soft, a trace of embarrassment threading through his words. "Nothing happened. I just assisted Tadeous with a cantrip that was vexing her."

“Mage Hand?” Astarion’s voice slid in, smooth and amused, each word edged with deliberate mischief. “I’ve heard that cantrip can be quite… versatile. Though I’ve never tried it myself. I prefer a more hands-on approach.”

“No,” Gale answered, the single word tight, as if it had been forced through clenched teeth.

“Well, that’s not surprising either,” Astarion rejoined. “I have no doubt our beautiful bard prefers something with a little more… bite?” He lingered on the word, before a soft, self-satisfied laugh followed.

“And you would know that how, Astarion?” Gale replied, his voice settling into that same cool, careless cadence he’d used the night before.

She shivered. It was easy to forget how dangerous he was, how quickly that softness could sharpen. Even without Mystra’s favor, he could unmake Astarion with a single, well-placed spell.

What does your Lavellan understand about Solas that makes forgiveness possible without excusing what he’s done?

Is there something your Lavellan fundamentally misunderstands about Solas, and that Solas fundamentally misunderstands about your Lavellan? What finally allows them to understand each other more clearly and how does that understanding come?

What is the dynamic between your Lavellan and your Rook?

If your Rook comes to know Solas primarily as an adversary, while your Lavellan’s experience is coloured by their love and history together, where do their interpretations of him overlap - and where do they differ?

Thank you @vhen-harel for the ask! This gives me a chance to write out things that are always in the back of my mind that don't show up in my fic (I may have to go back and do some rewrites)

What does your Lavellan understand about Solas that makes forgiveness possible without excusing what he’s done?

She understands Solas' loneliness and how it feels to be rejected by your own people. Despite being the First of her clan, Theneras wasn't well liked. She was not Deshana's first choice but when her original First died, there wasn't anyone else gifted with magic so Theneras got the job. It's a job she didn't want just as she didn't want to be the Inquisitor.

She is a scholar first and foremost and her interpretations of the texts the Clan has go against the Dalish beliefs about the gods. On top of that she is argumentative, believing she is right and everyone else is wrong. So she grew up feeling lonely and rejected. When Solas points out that the Dalish he encountered didn't feel like they were the same people and grew hostile when he tried to share knowledge, it resonated.

Second, the idea that there often are no good choices. That is something she has experienced first-hand as the Inquisitor. You do what you have to do to ensure that you get what you hope to be the best possible outcome. She doesn't like it and it affects her deeply.

These aren't excuses for his behavior. He's done some pretty ruthless things, but she understands why he did them. It isn't hard to forgive him even when it comes to the things he has done to her.

Is there something your Lavellan fundamentally misunderstands about Solas, and that Solas fundamentally misunderstands about your Lavellan? What finally allows them to understand each other more clearly and how does that understanding come?

That she always comes second. He seems to put the past ahead of their present and possible future. Given the number of times he's left her because of duty, it's understandable. It isn't true. She is his heart and he tells himself that part of the reason he is doing what he is doing is for her. He wants her to live in the world he knew because he thinks it will be better for her. It's during an argument when he admits he is using what happened in his past to be a better person for her that helps her understand.

Solas thinks Theneras needs to be protected from himself. He understands who he is and he knows that any relationship between them is going to end up hurting her so he tries to keep his distance. It's funny because she thinks he needs protection from himself. It takes an argument about it to help him understand that she doesn't need that sort of protection. She doesn't break easily. Her heart belongs to him and only him no matter what he has done or what he may do in the future

What is the dynamic between your Lavellan and your Rook?

Theneras finds Rook exasperating. Rook reminds her of a young hunter in the clan who, having killed their first deer, thinks they know everything there is to know about hunting and starts lecturing older, more experience hunters about what they should be doing. Because my Rook is a member of the Mourn Watch she thinks she knows everything there is to know about Solas as an embodied spirit. She thinks Solas is either Wisdom or Pride. Theneras knows because of Cole that it isn't that simple.

Rook for her part is a little afraid of Theneras. She knows instinctively that Theneras will kill her if she lays a finger on Solas and have zero regrets about it. At the same time, she thinks their romance has colored Theneras' view of Solas and she can't see the monster he is becoming.

Rook using Mythal to get Solas to tie himself to the Veil is the last straw for Theneras. She can be petty so she convinces Solas to shut down the Eluvian network to make life much harder for Rook.

If your Rook comes to know Solas primarily as an adversary, while your Lavellan’s experience is coloured by their love and history together, where do their interpretations of him overlap - and where do they differ?

As the events of VG play out, Rook goes back and forth over whether Solas is a true adversary. She is confused by Solas' actions - saving her from Elgar'nan then leaving her in the regret prison. Helping to free Minrathous while still plotting to tear down the Veil and flood the world with demons. Its confusing.

I've been tagged in a few of these over the past couple of weeks and haven't had anything to share due to severe writer's block. The dam sort of cracked yesterday and I was able to write a little (a very little but, hey, progress!). I present to you two very rough snippets of my WIPS. One is BG3 and the other DA.

For my Solavellan piece here's is a snippet from chapter 3 of His Love, His Heart, His Home:

She turned in a full circle noting that several paths led to this tiny grove swathed in shadows and, if the yews were any indication, despair. She had no doubt all paths led here just as all paths led to the creation of the Veil - at least in Solas' mind.

She turned to him, expecting his eyes to be on her, waiting for her judgement but he was looking back the way they had come. Back to where he had completed the ritual. Back to the past, always the past. Never the present where she stood. Never the future they could have together. No. Back to what was, never what could be.

In that moment, the temper she had learned to harness, flared and incandescent with rage she asked, "Tell me, Solas… how long am I meant to wait for you?”

And here is a snippet from my BG3 series Tales of Music and Magic - Mornings After.

"It isn't about her, well, not entirely." Gale said, refusing to look at Tadeous. "I had a lot of time to think while I was cooped up in my tower trying not to die." He skipped another stone across the river, watching as it bounced across the water like Scratch's ball.

"I thought that if I became the most renowned wizard in Faerun she would stay with me - or at least stay with me longer. When it seemed she was still tiring of me, I thought if I could become her equal..." he trailed off, bent down to pick up another stone. Tadeous reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him up so he had no choice but to look at her.

Gale sighed then continued. "It was nonsensical really. When Midnight ascended and became Mystra so did her lover Kelemvor. I'm sure she would have wanted to continue the relationship but Ao forbade it. The bottom line being that no matter what I did, I was going to lose her - although probably not quite so spectacularly."

"You’re afraid that no matter what you do, you will lose me as well? Is that it?" Tadeous said.

"Between the tadpoles, my orb and your harp, well, it's almost a forgone conclusion, isn't it," he answered, setting his mouth in a thin line. "Last night, I did what I had to do to keep you alive. I'm not denying I wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to do that practically since I met you but it wouldn't have happened otherwise and it shouldn't happen again."

All right Gale lovers. My commission from @kindheartgale is finished! I love this so much. It’s Gale and Tadeous’ first kiss (which he save’s her life with). I love the details from Tadeous’ signature teal and silver outfit to her harp in the foreground. It’s so soft and lovely. Thank you Bella!

Thank you for tagging me @vhen-harel I always enjoy discussing Dragon Age with you.

🔹 WHAT’S A SMALL GAME DETAIL THAT YOU ALWAYS NOTICE AND LOVE?

I love the way the devs animate faces and use body language in Inquisition. My favorite scenes are Crestwood where you can see Solas changing his mind about telling the Inquisitor the truth about himself by the subtle way his face changes. In Trespasser when a romanced Inquisitor moves toward him, he steps back. He knows if she touches him, he will give up everything for her and can’t risk it. It’s a masterful use of show don’t tell. I also love the flirting lines they give Solas because he is so confident when using them. You would expect this hobo apostate to blush and stammer but he takes control and leaves Inky speechless most of the time.

🔹 WHAT’S ONE PIECE OF REFERENCE MATERIAL YOU’RE CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH?

Right now, it’s Celtic myth and the occupation of Wales by the Romans. Most people focus on England, but Wales has a very interesting history with Rome. The Welsh bardic tradition is also fascinating.

🔹 SHARE A SNIPPET OR VISUAL FROM YOUR CURRENT PROJECT THAT YOU’RE QUIETLY PROUD OF.

My current project is chapter three of His Love, His Heart, His Home. It’s not going well. I have major writer’s block, and work isn’t helping because our clients are requiring us to write for AI optimization and I just don’t want to write anything after that. I have written a little bit so here is a snippet.

As they moved toward the center, she was reminded of another walk. Another silence. Then it had been companionable. Two people who needed no words to express how they felt. Two people who knew each other completely.

This silence was awkward, composed of his guilt and her frustration. A wall that separated them even as they tried to navigate around it, over it and through it. Who would be first to breach the quiet? Even as she thought it, she wondered what it would mean for the person who did.

🔹 WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO CREATING OR FINISHING SOON?

I would love to finish my current WIP. I’m not good at having several WIPs going at the same time so not being able to finish is frustrating. I have a lot of ideas for other works that I can’t get to until I finish this. As far as creation goes, I have a book idea, and I want to spend more time on it.

🔹 WHAT’S A FUN OR SILLY TRADITION YOU HAVE WITH YOUR OCs?

I don’t think I have any. My OCs are very pragmatic. I think my favorite thing to do is put them and their LIs in a situation that is very awkward. One of my Solas fics takes place in a bathhouse. My OC Theneras is imagining what Solas might look like naked and then he shows up naked to use the bath house.

🔹 WHAT’S AN NPC YOU’D LOVE TO SEE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT OUTFIT OR SETTING?

I’m not much for AUs but I would love to see one set in the 1950s where Solas is a beatnick and artist fighting against the system.

🔹 WHAT IS A COLLAB PROJECT THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO DO?

I would enjoy doing some sort of exchange – a story for a piece of art that sort of thing but I am not confident about my writing and don’t think my OCs are interesting enough for that sort of collaboration.

🔹 WHAT’S A TINY HEADCANON OR DETAIL YOU’VE ADDED TO YOUR OC THAT BRINGS YOU JOY?

That Theneras is the least Dalish elf you are ever going to meet. It’s not that she doesn’t honor her people or isn’t proud of where she comes from, she just thinks the Dalish are too mired in their traditions. She enjoys searching old ruins to find ancient artifacts that tell a different story than the prevailing one. (Probably has to do with my own background as an archaeologist when I was younger.) She enjoys talking to Solas because his stories match what she believes about the past.

🔹 WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT YOUR FOLLOWERS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU?

I don’t have anyone outside of Tumblr and Discord I can talk to about Dragon Age. I’m an older gamer and most women my age don’t game. They think I’m weird. I can talk to men sometimes, but they mostly play Call of Duty or sports games. My husband doesn’t game although he’s happy I have a hobby. So, I’m grateful to have this community.

What fun! Thank you for tagging me @the-starflower

Read about their character Esperani Starflower here

I will tag @dr4gonwriter @optimisticgrey @bladesingerlily no worries if you have already been tagged.

⏱ ɃȺSƗȻS

Name: Tadeous Valmenor

Alias: Beautiful Bard of Waterdeep, Songstress of the Swordcoast, Tav, My Wren (by Gale),

Background: Charlatan

Gender: female

Sexuality: bisexual

Pronouns: she/her

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⏱ ØŦĦɆɌ

Family: Tadeous was adopted by The Llewyrr elves of Synnoria on the Moonshae Island of Gwynneth (also known as Sarifal). She grew up in the secret valley which is protected by a powerful mass illusion spell. Her adoptive mother is a member of the Knights of Synnoria. Her father is a mage at the court of Most Serene Matriarch, Ate'Niah. Tadeous learned how to wield a sword from her mother and sling spells from her father.

Birthplace: Unknown. Tadeous was found as a toddler on the outskirts of the forest of Winterglen by her adoptive mother. Winterglen was often the scene of military action due to the the corrupting presence of Citadel Umbra in the south where the Feywild met the Shadowfell. The ruling leShay noble Eladrin often called upon the Knights of Synnoria to assist them during conflicts with dark fey. Tadeous' half-elf presence there was confusing as Sarifal's leader, High Lady Ordalf had long ago banished humans from the island. It was rare for any half elves to be on the island much less any fraternization between elves and humans that would result in a child.

Job: Tadeous is a bard - the most famous bard on the Swordcoast. She was claimed by Waterdeep early in her career, and if any city could be said to be her home it the City of Splendors. She is an accomplished musician who can play any instrument but prefers her harp, a magical instrument inscribed with ancient Elven runes. She picked up her first instrument when she was five. Her teachers were not human, rather she learned from the various singing waterfalls surrounding the ancient city of Chrysalis. They were said to sing songs of such heart-wrenching beauty that they could enrapture humans. She left home when she was 14 to enter a bardic competition on the island of Alaron where she caught the attention of a mysterious benefactor who continued her musical education. At the age of 18 she found herself in Waterdeep where her ethereal music and singing captured the hearts of Waterdhavians and catapulted her to fame.

Phobias/Fears:

Her greatest fear is of being unable to help people. She will put herself in extremely dangerous situations to keep people safe - sometimes even her enemies.

Hobbies:

Music a hobby and career. She loves finding an instrument she has never played before and learning how it works. She also loves books, especially books about magic. She often jokes that if she hadn't picked up the harp she would have picked up the wand.

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⏱ MØɌȺŁS

Alignment: Chaotic good

Flaws:

Pride. She believes she is the only person capable of solving a problem. Inability to be a follower. She is naturally a leader and has a hard time stepping back and letting others take charge.

Virtues:

Empathetic. She feels other people's emotions deeply and will do anything she can to help

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⏱ ŦĦƗS ØɌ ŦĦȺŦ