a side.view of my world

What is the procedure to sue the state? I believe I have a case for the time I was arrested. I was subdued by 6 heavily armed cops, male and female and with maximum force in a public space at the Uif offices in Randburg. I am one woman and I was without any weapons.

I was at the Uif offices in Randburg where I had been going for quite some time since I had been fired from my job. The Uif office kept sending me from pillar to post and expected me to keep going back to the place where I had been fired, which was extremely awkward to say the least, to make requests for forms which could have all been requested and given at once except the forms were requested one by one.

I was given a requirement list form for all the forms required and began the treasure hunt of papers, between the post office, the banks, older places of employment as well as the place from where I was fired. I collected all the required forms listed on the requirement list form and returned all the forms required from the requirement list form to the Uif office. This is without an income so I had to keep borrowing money for the transport to be going to and from all the places to retrieve all the forms required.

Only to be told that there were more papers to collect and every time of the six times I had to go back, there was a new form requirement. I calmy obliged each time with no idea of how I was to manage the travel costs when I didn’t even have food.

I was being thrown out of my apartment. This because this process was taking so much longer than it should have, as though maybe it was set up that way deliberately so that the person claiming eventually gives up from frustration and exhausted resources which could have been used to assist in sustaining life at that very taxing period. That way the government insurance company can get out of paying out their clients and citizens of the Republic to whom they have pledged to provide excellent service and by the standards of the government slogan “Batho pele”. Only to discover that after the funds were eventually paid in, the money wouldn’t even cover rent.

This didn’t make any sense to me. Isn’t the money you receive from the unemployment insurance fund supposed to support your life to the standard you could afford while you had an income for a prescribed amount of time while you plan your next move? Isn’t the insurance fund precisely to insure that you do not find yourself homeless at this vulnerable time in your life where you find yourself without an income and still with children to care for and bills to pay. The plight of the working class.

On this particular day where I was returning to the Uif office for the sixth time with what I was now completely convinced would be the final set of forms required. I was determined to not leave until my application had been cleared. The assistant attempted to tell me about another form I had to get from the place where I had been fired, which was where I had just come from even on that day.  After I had already been there 3times and had been let know that I was no longer welcome there.

I lost it and screamed at him and eventually at the whole department and that is when the cops came in. I resisted arrest because they man handled me and wouldn’t even allow me to ask what they were arresting me for before they dragged me out of the building into the streets by my hands and feet in a mini dress and throwing me into the back of a police van.

I smoke weed, I make no secret of it because I shouldn’t have to, it’s an autonomous adult choice which I have the right to make. When we arrived at the police station they searched my bag and still without telling me what I had been arrested for. They found inside my bag a little palm size compact tin case with a 3D camera mold on top and the word style written on it (which I would actually like to have back, it's sentimental, it was a gift from my best friend.)

Inside the compact tin, they found my tiny smoked to the inch, stompies of weed. I am a very economic weed smoker so I make sure to smoke all my weed. If I don’t finish a joint, I save it for later no matter how small. It’s a blessing to always have weed, so I smoke it sparingly and with reverence. It is the sacred and abundant holy herb bestowed to us by Jah because Jah bless all the time.

Then they claimed that they had arrested me for the possession of daga even though they had no knowledge of the stompie when I was arrested. Also doesn’t the law require that the quantity be of a substantial measure, which implies an intention to sell for the justification of arrest? Because surely weed cannot be illegal to smoke for reasons of potential harm to yourself when a box of cigarettes even states on the packaging that nicotine can kill you and harm your unborn child. In that case the government gives you the choice and permission to harm yourself while they make great tax on it.

Also keeping in mind that weed that is uncorrupted with toxic western medicines has not been proven to be harmful. If anything, it has actually been proven countless times, to have healing properties for even severe chronic illness.

I was arrested at around 1pm in the afternoon and only permitted a call at 8 that night. The friend I called came. I saw him for a minute, he was already offering bribes because that is the default Azanian way to deal with the officials at the SAPS.

He left while I was trying to tell him that that was unnecessary because I hadn’t even been charged with anything but then he just left me there without letting me know what the resolve had been.

I was held in a cell for 3days. I was arrested on a Friday afternoon, by Sunday the confined cell was filled with over 10 women and there weren’t enough blankets and mattresses so some of us had to share. The toilet was blocked and had shit in it. I was on my period and they wouldn’t give me my tampons. The entire experience was an assault on dignity.

On Monday, it was the court appearance. I attended and on time. It looked and sounded like a circus game show. No one seemed completely  certain of what was meant to be  happening and at what point. The cases were laughable and the judges seemed to be speaking even more nonsense that the defendants.

I allowed my annoyance to get the best of me and asked the judge something very sarcastically. I was then attacked by the security guard and so I attempted to defend myself by restricting his hands. I was literally pushed down a flight of stairs, bottoms up in that white knee length dress (the one I wore to what I felt was Raphakwane’s half brilliant success, half disaster show 4posts down from this one, but that is a post for another day.). I was then pushed into another cell beneath the court room hall where the men in the cells were making all manner of sexually harassing comments for all the hours I was held in there. 

I have attempted to post about the ordeal before but had felt too traumatised to articulate it probably. I was once again held captive in a cell for some hours at the court house. Eventually I was set free.

Original Content From Reddit

1. Be good looking. Don’t be not good looking.

Good looking people are always well received and have a greater margin of error. Serious mistakes will still cost them, but little blunders will not cost them in the way it costs ugly people. This one is hard to control though. You can influence this by working out, good hygiene, pay for nice teeth, wear high quality clothing.

2. Remember peoples names. Use them frequently.

Remember everyones name. When you see them, use their name and smile. Everyones favorite word is their own name.

3. Touch people. Body language.

when you are talking with someone, occasionally touch their shoulder or lightly grab their arm while laughing at a joke they made. Go for high fives/brofist. Do playful pushaways (more roughly with guys). Give firm handshakes. If guy/girl, go for playful palm reading. Occasionally mirror the body language of person you are talking to (not all the time or its obvious and creepy). Do not cross your arms or put hands in your pockets when talking to someone (defensive body language). Use your hands when talking to amplify your communication. Hold eye contact 70-90% of the time. Learn to smile naturally on command and do it frequently.

4. Make people feel like they are important

When talking 1 on 1 with someone, do not get easily distracted by outside things. Stay focused. LISTEN to what they say, occasionally repeat it back to them in different words/summarize after they say their bit and then ask them a question about it. Ideally convo should be 70/30 with them being 70% talking and you 30%. Just enough on your part that it does not feel like they are being interviewed. As above, smile naturally when they tell a joke (even if its not funny).

When talking to a group of people, learn to make each person feel they are the most important person you are talking to. This is very difficulty to master (I certainly havent mastered it). It’s about utilizing eye contact, body language and engaging with those in the group that engage with you.

5. Be funny and mysterious. Learn to converse well.

When its your 30. Reveal a little about yourself but never too much. Always leave a few critical details out, leave people wanting more. Make jokes. Learn to make fun of the other person in a non-cruel and playful way. NEVER insult their taste. aka NEVER insult their favorite band/movie/artpiece/author/philosopher/scientist/politician etc.

On the subject… you do not have to avoid religion and politics. Actually I would encourage it… BUT do not be argumentative. Perhaps give a a non threatening “light” countering view (like weed legalization) and ask them to share their views and they make them think you have possibly been persuaded by them. People often do not get to talk about religion/politics and when they do someone is there to yell at them and argue with them and make them feel bad. Stand out by letting them almost persuade you. However this leads into another important point.

Do not share your views on everything. Do not be a fedora or a bible thumper. Do not be a liberal or a conservative. Give 100% support to neither side and nooone. allow them to fight for your approval but never fully give it anyone. People will respect you for being open-minded and will do good things for you while trying to win you over. Great politicans win the hearts of people by being ambigious and never being too stuck on a philosophical or political point. Be loosy goosy and mysterious.

6. Be positive.

Do not be overly positive about EVERYTHING. But generally be positive. Be fun. Be spontaneous. Be a “dancer” not a “wallflower.’ The world sucks. We get it. Everyone knows. Thats why we need some damn positivity. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop imagining yourself as the victim of circumstances outside of your control. Don’t waste energy hating people. Don’t complain about anything ever. Never. Just never. Yes, its tough. But the world is 99% complainers. Find someone who doesn’t complain and you might just start a religion or cult around them. World is going to end tomorrow? Sounds like a good time to go dancing, enjoy the stars and make love.

7. Learn Skills and get good at them.

Horse-riding. Guitar. Dancing. Acrobatics. Magic. Math. Judo. Swimming. Writing. Painting. Acting. Fixing machines. Electronics.

Whatever it is, get good at it. Enjoy it. The world is full of people who just sit on facebook/reddit or watching tv or reading crappy fiction novels. Be someone who has a skill or enjoys doing something productive and people will want you in their lives, they will idolize you. You will have intrinsic worth.

8.Be Narcissistic but set your ego aside.

Do not let people insult you. If someone jokes at you, joke right back and laugh. Never be insulted. You are a god. Gods are not insulted by mortals. But do not talk about yourself, do not complain, do not have a victim complex. You are a god, you do not need approval. You are not worried about the loss of a friend or a girl who does not appreciate your godliness. But you are not rude. You are above them. This kind of attitude is hard to cultivate and maintain, but people will be drawn to you if you learn to utilize a kind of narcissism.

9. Learn to speak properly 2.

Lower the tonality of your voice at end of statements. Do not uptalk. Learn to pause between sentences, 2 seconds is good. Learn to speak a bit slower. (see Carl Sagan, Obama etc.) Do not be nervous about silences. Utilize silence.

10. Do not be a know-it-all. Make other people feel smart.

This one is tough. Learn to come off as intelligent but never try to one-up people. Do not be a know-it-all. Come off in body-language and attitude, in skills and success - come off as intelligent. But in conversation, do not always be correcting people. Do not try to constantly teach people. A wise teacher teaches by success and through kindness. Do not insult people for having differing opinions or not knowing something. Let people teach you. Remember that everyone you meet knows something(s) you don’t. Let them teach you. Be open minded. Refer to 5 though, let them enlighten you but maintain some skepticism, do not be won over too easily. People are constantly being told by other people they are stupid, stand out by making them feel smart.

11. Give specific compliments to specific people, do it rarely and only when desrved.

Another one I had to edit to add. Generic compliments like “you are beautiful” or “you are nice” or “you are a good person” or “you are smart” are given ALL the time. They mean nothing. It is very evident that you are trying to win them over, it’s lazy, and it just inflates their ego. Yes, for all the negativity in the world and people telling them they are stupid - most people have massive egos (which is why you need to learn to set aside your ego while being a narcissist. wei wu wei, bitch). Everyone has now been brought up being told they are special, the are the hero(ine) of the story, they are destined for greatness. We live in a culture of the ego-maniacal. Vague compliments only inflate this false sense of ego and make people think you are trying to get something from them.

Women and hot guys get these kinds of vague compliments daily. They essentially become a screening process on who not to talk to. Forget it.

However, specialized compliments are good for the less egotistical. The more genuine they seem or are, the better. They don't have to be genuine of course, they just need to appear genuine. “That’s a cool hat” or “wow you nailed that dance” or “how did you get a 90 on that test?” are much better.

Do not compliment people with super-egos. These people take all forms of compliments as fodder for their ego. they will toss you aside like a cheap snack bar wrapper. Learn to be different by not complimenting these people. Play hard to get. Make light jokes towards them. Treat them as an equal or lesser. These people crave that, deep down inside they often desire an equal and are tired of being treated like idols.

12. Learn to read people. get what you want by learning to give people what they want. Be the trojan horse.

Each person is different. As 11 illustrates, everyone wants something different. Learn to read people and give them what they want. Some people want to be insulted, some people want to be idolized. Some of them want to huuurt you~~ No but seriously, a good tactician changes his/her strategy to the battefield and the state of affairs. Learn to vary your approach. Give people what they want (not usually physial objects, this is metaphysical/metaphorical) and they will often willingly give you what you want.

My best example for this is anal. I used to just ask girls I was dating “Can we do anal?” and the answer is 99% no. It’s not a sexy way of going about it and its too upfront. Play the trojan horse. If you meet a girl who likes to be dominated, dominate her, and she will love anal. Meet a girl whose never orgasmed, and give her an orgasm while your finger is in her butt, and she will love anal. Meet a girl who wants to be dominant, and let her dominate - and she will love anal. This seems like just idiotic sexual advice, but it is metaphorical for a lot of things in life. You can substitute anal for a lot of things - a pay raise, a promotion, going skydiving, moving in together, getting a record deal etc. There are plenty of things in life that may seem to people a one-sided deal that will cause them pain. Rather than charging the gates and being confrontational or begging for what you want - learn to sneak in like the trojan horse. Many of these things often end up being good for both parties (I bet whoever Jay Z convinced to sign him ended up happier for it later).

END

This is just a “brief” list. If you aren’t willing to do these things, you don't really want to be liked. You only kind of want it. For further reading see:

48 laws of power

Wisdom of Psychopaths

Influecne

What every BODY is saying

How to win friends and influence people

How to talk to anyone: 92 little tricks for big success

The Charisma myth

The Art of SEDUCTION