kawaiigraphix

Death and Rebirth

I'm not sure what happened to be honest. One moment I was falling asleep, or at least I thought I was falling asleep, and the next I was dreaming of being enveloped by warmth from all sides and hearing muffled voices speaking every now and again. I realized that I couldn't move, but for some reason I didn't feel like panicking - I felt warm and safe and I wasn't in pain - and I still thought that this was all a dream as well.

And then I was born.

I had to pause there and think for a moment when I realized what had happened. I was reborn. I was reincarnated. I was a baby again. I almost panicked and let out a wail of shock.

"Oh good," I heard a tired voice say from somewhere above me. "I was worried for a second there was something wrong with how quiet she was."

Excuse you! I was always a bit of a quiet person… unless you started me on my special interests and then you couldn't get me to shut up.

Introduction

As I was lying in my hospital bed, I thought to myself that I was lucky that it was comfortable. It was going to be the last bed I ever lay in after all so I was glad it was a comfortable one. My pillows were fluffy and comfy and my comforter was warm and soft as well. I couldn't be in a more comfy place in my last moments on this Earth.

Even better, I was re-reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I couldn't tell how many times I've read this book series but it was definitively quite a few. I've been reading the Harry Potter books since I discovered the series when I was fifteen to now when I was thirty-two.

I wasn't a fanatical fan like some of the others were that were obsessed with it to the point of being able to remember the Wiki and Wizarding World information from the top of their head and able to argue the lore, but I did like to read the information on Harry Potter lore and characters sometimes (and make lists). I didn't remember everything I ever read about but I still remembered quite a lot - Harry Potter being my special interest after all.

I smiled as I remembered how hyped I was when I was one of the 1st million users that were allowed to join Wizarding World (when it was still Pottermore) - we had to answer all sorts of trivia questions! I loved the fact that I could say I was officially sorted by the Sorting Hat even if it wasn't real, or that a wand had chosen me, or what House I was sorted into when information about Ilvermorny came out. I didn't check on it every day to see what new information came out, but I did like to check about information on my favourite characters if I remembered to.

However, in the last few months I do have to admit that I took to reading and re-reading books and fanfictions a bit more. I was dying after all and I wanted my last days to be full of the things I loved. So I binge watched my favourite TV shows, movies and anime; listened to the music I always loved and read my favourite books, mangas, webtoons, fanfictions and all that jazz again for the last time.

I didn't have the energy to play video games or Dungeons and Dragons anymore, but I did watch others. I had a few favourite Twitch streamers or YouTube Let's Players that I liked to watch and of course the several Dungeons and Dragons streaming groups, like Critical Role for instance.

I listened to music to drown out the beeping of the machines that kept me as alive as possible with being in pain most of the time and not being able to breathe on my own. I was actually hoping it would be over soon to spare my family and friends further pain of having to come visit me at my death bed every day.

I was also hoping that it would be over soon so that I wouldn't be in pain any longer.

I never felt comfortable with them coming to visit, especially my mother. All throughout my young adult life I kept telling her that I didn't want to suffer if I ever got an incurable disease or if I was in constant pain like my grandmother was when she had cancer, but the moment I wasn't able to advocate for myself anymore, my mother ignored my wishes and kept trying to keep me alive longer.

Yuki Eiri