the flower that blooms to illuminate you

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: D.Gray-man (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lavi & Allen Walker (D.Gray-man), Bookman & Lavi (D.Gray-man) Characters: Lavi (D.Gray-man), Allen Walker (D.Gray-man), Previous Bookman Junior Who Went Missing (D.Gray-man), Bookman (D.Gray-man) Additional Tags: Spoilers, D.Gray-man Manga Spoilers, Canon-Typical Violence Series: Part 7 of writing with snowdrops (dgm) Summary:

Lavi meets the stranger named grief.

Queer freaks from the internet

Highly-educated weird women

and then there comes a human woman with a little boy, and sure there were many before. he kept an eye on his brother's descendants before, but this one is so small and his little feet take him all around rivendell where he somehow always manages to find trouble, and his eyes are the shade achingly similar to his brothers, and sometimes he calls him ada because he learned it from his other kids

and one day he's reading little estel a story (maybe a legend of an old king who rose to greatness before he faded away) and he looks at the child snoring away on his chest, a child that wouldnt be here had elros made a different choice

What is GengJae? (aka HanJoong)

Many people don’t seem to know about the fact that Han Geng and Jae Joong are really good friends when “HanChul” and “YunJae” are so popular and well-known by the fans. So, this is a explanation of GengJae and why it is huge in both Korea and China.    (SM TOWN CONCERT,some Korean fans showed this LED banner to Jae Joong, and he smiled to them. It was “Jae Geng” in Korean.)

Jae Joong was one of the very first friend that Han Geng made in Korea. When Han Geng arrived Korea, he was arranged to the dorm where Sung Min lived, but his Korean was so poor back then , he couldn’t really be friends with Sung Min as they didn’t talk much but just randomly nodded and smiled to each other when they met.  After Sung Min and Han Geng separately moved to different dorms, Han Geng joint a group of famous trainee. He met Yun Ho, Hee Chul and of course, Jae Joong in the new dorm, where these three were just moved in and settled down at there as well.

Hee Chul, undoubtedly was cold at outside when he was facing a stranger. And Yun Ho, the loyal friend of both pretty boys in the dorm could only do a normal greeting to the new dorm-mate.

Jae Joong, the pretty Korean boy with a slightly cool look was surprisingly the first one who took the step to shake Han Geng’s hand and while his old friend like Yun Ho and Hee Chul looking at him with a little shocked face.  And the beginning was like that, Jae Joong shook the shy Chinese boy’s hand, and Han Geng could just smile harmlessly and purely back to the friendly Korean without saying any difficult Korean word, he looked at Jae Joong, as the pretty boy said to him,“come on, we can share my room.”

GengJae is about a beautiful friendship between Han Geng and Jae Joong. And the following things on below is a record of GengJae during their time in SME (Include before debut and after debut).

If you want to know more about them, you can go to the link below and check out the article first.

http://allrisexiahtic.tumblr.com/post/8806809698/things-you-never-knew-about-hankyung-and-jaejoong

Let’s start the record of GengJae, shall we? :) (The following is just included SOME of the little things that happened between these two good friends. But actually, there are  A LOT MORE than that :D)

1. DBSK Malaysia concert in 2006, after “the mask” thing of Han Geng’s visa problem, Super Junior was invited as guest to DBSK concert. Jae Joong ran to Han Geng while performing. He held Han Geng’s hand as to bring him in front of the camera so that everybody could see Han Geng. Hee Chul was not the only one who did that for Han Geng, Jae Joong actually did one when he had a chance too.

2. Before Jae Joong debut(2002-2003), he already had some fans and there was a fan(K) who was close to him as he treated her as a normal friend. She said she once saw Jae Joong buying cloth from a shop and after that, she saw there was a “tall and handsome” guy wearing it when he walking out of the dorm. And that person definitely was not Yun Ho because she already knew Yun Ho as well. She asked the cleaner of the boys’ dorm about the “unknown handsome boy” when she was waiting for Jae Joong, the cleaner knew her so she answered “he is a Chinese boy”. This fan never knew any trainee who was Chinese before so she was curious. (After DBSK debut)When K saw the dancing teacher of SME, she asked about “YUNJAE” as it was like officially promoted all over the country, the teacher answered “Yun Ho and Jae Joong? Why don’t you say Han Geng and Jae Joong? They leave the practice room together almost everyday!” This fan finally knew this Chinese guy’s name, Han Geng, who was always lost on the street and needed to call Jae Joong to go out from the dorm to take him back.

3. Before Jae Joong & Han Geng debut(2002-2003), Han Geng would teach Jae Joong Chinese. Like “how are your parents?”, Jae Joong would say that whenever people asked him to speak in Chinese. (Kibum learnt that greeting from Han Geng as well! He said that in an interview.)

Jae Joong is still using this greeting when he has a chance to speak Chinese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDxg4XUQq-U (2004)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc20zGUUhZQ (2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KMtHIzgSQY (2012)

4. After Jae Joong debut(2004-2006), K was still a friend to Jae Joong and she even got to meet Jae Joong’s sister(7th) too. Sometimes when Jae Joong came back to dorm from other places, he would bring presents to his friends, including Han Geng. He would buy different kind of earrings to friends and he would ask K about “which one should I give to Han Geng? And which one should I give to xxx?”. And of course there was a time Jae Joong brought a bigger box to the dorm and told her that “it’s hard to decide which pair of earrings to give it to Han Geng,so”, so, he bought a special present, and that was only for Han Geng.

(the time when these accessories appeared on them was very similar.)

5. In 2004,debut interview, Jae Joong was being asked by Yun Ho about his ideal type of lover “HK” in an interview. And he answered that “HK” was the short-form name of that person. At that time, nobody seemed to know who that person was and kept asking Jae Joong “Who is that? Who is that?”. Jae Joong seemed to be so shy and laughing awkwardly (he still does that now), he thought for a moment and saying “I myself don’t know who that person is…I mean maybe… um…I’m gonna say it now, today I’m going to make this public…” As he looked down and thought for some seconds, he said “HK” was a short-form for “KangTa” from HOT. He could barely explain it because everybody knows that “KangTa” in short-form is “KT” but not “HK”.

At that time, Han Geng was still a trainee in SME, and when he first got into Korea, he was given by a name in “Hangul” which was “HanKyung”, and if it stands for “HK”, everything would make sense.

Jae Joong was not talking about someone else, but his friend Han Geng.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNzIzMjcxNTI=.html (10:44)

6. A lot of people know that Jae Joong bought a pair of Tiffany Co. rings ,one for himself and the other one was for Han Geng. But not many people know about the meaning behind it, it was a debut gift for Jae Joong himself and for his friend Han Geng. Moreover, the design of the ring means “I’m so glad that I’ve met you”, or more “we can only look at each other and never be being together, but I’m still so happy that to have met you.”.

Jae Joong wore it to Shanghai, Paris,Thailand and a lot of time on stage and of course, EHB

7. Han Geng often wore that ring in 2005-2006, but it seemed like he lost it somewhere when he was on the stage(You know he is clumsy, right?). But we hope that he still has it and keeping it safe in his room. Jae Joong often wore that ring too, even when he was on Star King, when interviewer asked him a question about love, he answered “I think two people can still love each other even their languages are not the same!”. Later on, he showed his ring when he was invited to come out from the row and looked at something. His ring on his hand was shining clearly on the screen and his left hand, was wearing a Obsidian bracelet. How about that bracelet? That’s right, that was a gift from Han Geng.

8. In 2007, K and two friends were waiting for Jae Joong outside of SME secret exit. When Jae Joong came out of the building, he immediately saw K and went to her. She could tell Jae Joong was really happy and he showed her his new bracelet. He asked her “does it look good? It looks good right? It’s a present from Han Geng!”. She knew that Jae Joong’s birthday was just passed at that time, so she guessed it was a birthday gift for Jae Joong from Han Geng. As she nodded to Jae Joong, Jun Su walked to Jae Joong and asked him to get into the car. But Jae Joong turned around and asked Jun Su again “it looks good, right? Han Geng gave it to me!”. She smiled as Jun Su nodded carelessly and said “alright alright, it’s beautiful, now get into the car”, finally Jae Joong got into the car, before that he was with a big smile on his face, waving happily and he even blew a kiss to his fans.

  9. In case people who are not familiar to that bracelet, Jae Joong wore it from 2007-2008(nearly 7 months) . No matter he was on stage or he was in a photoshoot, he still had that bracelet on his hand. As you see, Jae Joong has a lot of accessories and always wear them only for one time because of different performances. But he wore this bracelet for months and even when the bracelet was broken, he fixed that himself by using a pin and kept wearing that on stage(for example,when Jae Joong came back to Korea from Japan for award presentation, he wore that bracelet again that night,when SuJu were there as well). You can see how important and how much he liked this bracelet. And when a pin couldn’t even fix it anymore, Jae Joong made it into necklace in 2009, he wore the necklace with the part of the original bracelet on stage of DBSK Tokyo Dome Live and other performances.

  10. In 2006-2007, during Han Geng’s visa problem, Jae Joong needed to go to Japan. So he left his precious car to Han Geng, as he was trying to cheer Han Geng up by suggesting him to learn how to drive and get a driver licence. But Han Geng didn’t want to learn how to drive yet, so Jae Joong told Hee Chul to use the car to pick Han Geng up whenever Han Geng was outside of the dorm. K knew this fact from Jae Joong’s 7th sister, Ms Kim told her “he won’t even let me touch the car! I won’t break it! I guess he doesn’t trust me? He left his car for Han Geng. Well, I heard that Jae Joong wanted him to learn how to drive because Han Geng have no license.” Later on, K saw Hee Chul driving in Jae Joong’s car for a ride a lot of times ,with or without Han Geng.

  11. In 2005, “Snow Dream” Behind The Scene , Jae Joong and Han Geng kept fooling around on the set. They made a “snowball bomb” together and even lighted it up. Although they knew it was not going to explode, they still rushed out of the set carrying that “snowball bomb” with them like they were really scared of it to explode. At that time, they were smiling to each other like kids. Also, you can find Han Geng and Jae Joong both holding a ball on their hands in the video, and the balls were written “I love you” in Chinese and Hangul respectively.

The truth is…Horella and GengJae? XD such good friends! http://postimg.org/image/5ucp1r6f5/ (the gif won’t move on tumblr so i uploaded in another site.)

12. In 2005, “Show Me Your Love” Behind The Scene, Jae Joong used his cellphone to take pictures of Han Geng and Si Won, both were the only two who dressing in white suit on set, and you can see Jae Joong’s cellphone screen clearly and the direction he was facing, the screen was shown as two people who dressed in white suit.

Besides, there was a time when Eun Hyuk told Jae Joong to come with him as he got something to show his friend Jae Joong, so Jae Joong followed Eun Hyuk to go to see something special. Yet soon Jae Joong found that Han Geng was there, leaning on the railing to take rest on the way, he went straight to Han Geng and carelessly left Eun Hyuk alone. (Poor Hyuk Jae XD , he wanted to show Jae Joong that there was a set dinner called “JUNIOR SET” on the restaurant menu.)

13. The cover of “Show Me Your Love”, eighteen members of DBSJ were all standing in a row, playing and having fun for themselves. And if you can notice, Jae Joong was the only one who was tightly holding Han Geng’s arm and even leaning himself over Han Geng. Moreover, our Chinese man didn’t seem to mind it or you can even say, he was comfortable that Jae Joong was around.

14. Show Me Your Love music video and live(SBS), you can see Jae Joong and Han Geng moment in the video. Besides, the live(SBS) in 2005, Jae Joong was the partner of Han Geng in this dance. They were having so much fun as Eun Hyuk and Junsu did as well, but just they were on the back (you can still see them in the live video), Eun Hyuk and Jun Su were on the front. (080913 SM Town, Jae Joong ran to Han Geng to dance to this song together, they were smiling widely at that time.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWCXOZrgRJA (3:20)

15. Rising Sun Concert(2006), the first time of DBSK, members were very nervous on backstage, in the behind the scene video, DBSK members were walking on a corridor to the stage, and all of a sudden, Jae Joong called out loudly of “Han Kyung ssi”. Yun Ho and Changmin added another call out but only in a quieter tone of “Hee Chul ssi”.

 Besides, Jae Joong was very nervous and excited before going on stage, he kept saying “ah, I am so nervous!” and walked around like he couldn’t stop himself from doing that. Next second, he went out from the preparation tent and yelled “Han Kyung, help me to take a picture!” and “my wife! Jia You!” which was all speaking in Chinese. So, who do you think he was talking to?

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/ocRKE9hx7Yo/ (1:15)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzc5ODg5NjQ=.html (0:47)

16. SM Town, earlier in 2006, Jae Joong and Han Geng were chatting a lot on the set. In the video of “SM town Summer” behind the scene, we can always spot them talking together closely. Jae Joong sit on the row in front of Han Geng who was sitting a higher row behind, so he leaned back to Han Geng and even put his arms around Han Geng’s leg.

When Han Geng started talking, Jae Joong would look up and listen carefully. Mas from TRAX suddenly brought up a topic about Han Geng’s Chinese name. People at that time were not aware of his original name, but Mas happened to know, so he said “Han Kyung is Korean, Han Geng is his real name!”, and Jae Joong looked at Mas with a slightly shocked face, and he kept repeating “Han Geng? Han Geng?”. Han Geng smiled and said again “yes, Han Geng”. Finally, Jae Joong made sure so he smiled and said “Han Geng” more loudly.

More about the set, was Jae Joong and his close friend Ye Sung (and another woman, sorry I don’t know about her xD) talked about blood type, Jae Joong kept saying “O” was the best and the rest were not so good. And Han Geng appeared on the screen and Ye Sung laughed when saying “Han Kyung Hyung always thought he was an A but he is actaully a B type”. Han Geng laughed as following Ye Sung and said “yes, I am a B, I thought I was a A but no!”, Jae Joong who was casually putting his arm on Han Geng’s shoulder asked “you’re a B type? I love B type!” for no reasons. Ye Sung kept adding next to them “Maybe China hospital had made a mistake to think that he was a A type! Yesterday when he came back from body check, he found out that he in fact is a B type!”. Han Geng laughed sweetly and pointing to the camera, said “yes yes! I just found out that I am a B! Haha, I just found out that the day before yesterday!”. As he and Ye Sung kept laughing like kids, saying “Internet , please stop saying I am a A type, I am a B type, please correct it and thank you very much!”, Jae Joong was laughing like crazy as well, instead of taking off his arm of Han Geng to cover his mouth while laughing(he always laugh with right hand or both hands covering his mouth), he used left hand to cover his mouth. Even when he was backing off because of laughing, he still had to put his arm around Han Geng and came back next to him after the crazy laugh.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjE4MzMxMjg=.html (3:43 ; 8:04)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjE4NTUxMzI=.html (10:22 ; 13:30)

17. Lawsuit of Jae Joong and his biological mother (2006), Jae Joong was very stressful and upset at that period, some fan-cam even caught that this elder member of DBSK was crying while his head down at the exit of some building, and Jun Su was the one there to stroke his platinum blonde hair to comfort him. After all these things happened, DBSK attended a award presentation, a lot of fan-cam were focusing on Jae Joong. At that time, Jae Joong seemed quiet and didn’t talk much to the members. Even when Yun Ho talked to him , he just answered shortly without a change on his face. But then, Han Geng got a chance to walk up to Jae Joong, he said something to Jae Joong and gave him a hug, Jae Joong smiled finally, for the first time in that award presentation. And when DBSK got up the stage for receiving the prize, Jae Joong stood up from the seat and first he would hug his members, and the next person would be Han Geng, who was grinning sweetly as he stood up and hugged Jae Joong back, too.

http://s10.postimg.org/uhuii31x3/fpy0howt.gif  ( Uploaded this gif on another site because this can’t be displayed on tumblr :( )

    18. Han Geng once talked about about Jae Joong in a Chinese magazine(2006).

Interviewer: how do you relieve your stress while you’re in Korea?

Han Geng : I will dance and sing. Or talk to our members.

Interviewer: I heard that you have been very close to the members before debut right?

Han Geng : Yes, because we were all trainee and practice together. When I have a problem,I will talk to my members or DBSK’s Jae Joong.

Interviewer: why? Is it because you guys are congenial to each other?

Han Geng : I used to live with him at the same dorm. We almost practiced and had dinner together everyday. We talk a lot and He is very kind and cute. You can say we’re congenial to each other.

Interviewer: What do you think about him as a person then?

Han Geng : He is a kind person who loves a joke. He is a funny person. In conclusion, he is a kind person with charming personality.

  19. In 2007, there was a Chinese interview about how he went to Korea for his dream and how he debut in Korea music industry. When the interviewer asked “are there any trainees who used to live with you are now superstars?” and Han Geng answered “yes, DBSK” and as the interviewer kept talking about she knew DBSK, Han Geng said “Jae Joong ah, he used to live with me in a same dorm. But they(DBSK) debut first.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI1K9puwsOs (1:09)

20. On the set of EHB(2007-2008), the audience can see that Jae Joong laughing at Han Geng’s mispronunciation of Korean hysterically. It was weird that Jae Joong had such big expression to the other(normally he would make big expression only for himself when he stuck in a awkward situation lol), but you see, Han Geng was the one in front of Jae Joong and Han Geng was laughing cutely too. (And Jae Joong wore the Tiffany Co. ring that day, such a sweet kid!)

Besides, even if we can’t see a lot of GengJae little moments on set, but it was all because of the “edit point” of the show. If you watch closely, you can see Han Geng and Jae Joong would suddenly stand or sit next to each other and it was like coming out from nowhere. Editor edited the show to short out the time, so even if these two moving toward each other , we can’t see the process clearly. But we can still see Han Geng helping Jae Joong at the “Spicy test” in the picture of behind the scene.

(the following picture shows that, we could see Hee Chul was the one who stood next to Han Geng as what the editor edited for us. And the next picture, shows that Hee Chul was actually not standing next to Han Geng, Jae Joong was the one who was standing with Han Geng, no matter it was his turn or not, he still came back there to stand next to Han Geng. Well, I guess they had just love small chat on the show but editor didn’t really love it as much as they did XD.)

  21. SM Town Concert(2009), Han Geng and Jae Joong hugged a lot. They were having fun like little kids on stage like running around or using the toys that the fans threw on the stage to pretend they were on the phone.

Han Geng took a water bottle and even “water-flower” on Jae Joong’s head, Jae Joong knelt down for Han Geng to do it.

But there was a time when Han Geng walking to Hee Chul on stage and he didn’t see Jae Joong was on the way as well, he walked pass Jae Joong and straight to Hee Chul, leaving Jae Joong put down his microphone while forgetting his singing part, he was stupefied on the way. Obviously, he wanted to have fun with Han Geng, but the Chinese guy was too careless to notice. (that video actually makes me feel bad for Jae Joong all the time!)

(SM TOWN in China, Backstage, Fan-cam, Dong Hae was talking to Yoo Chun while Jae Joong was talking to Han Geng.)

Two crazy guys dancing on the back XD http://postimg.org/image/kvruxer3b/   (the gif won’t move on tumblr so i uploaded in another site.)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNzUyODg1Njg=.html (2:48 ; 3:20)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNDIxNjY5MjA=.html (0:4)

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XOTM0NDAzOTY=.html (This video is all about their little moments in SM Town Concert, and this is super cute! )

______________________________________________________

BONUS~

This pictures show that DBSJ attended a wedding party. Yet people kept edited Han Geng out because of the “YUNJAE” tag, but actually if you can find the video on youtube, you will see Jae Joong kept going back to Han Geng and talked to him closely.

 _______________________________________________________

          GengJae is not a romance, but a pure and beautiful, hidden friendship between Han Geng and Jae Joong. 

Although we can’t get to see them again after everything happened in 2009. But try to think about it, they both left the company in 2009, what a coincidence. Besides, they both could hardly reach back to their old members in SME but these two, who are free in their own ways, and in fact ,they can always keep in touch if they want so…

volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.

so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.

of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.

If I go to IHOP or Olive Garden or whatnot, I absolutely don’t need to eat again until evening if I had leftovers, and until the next day if I did eat everything (you can’t really take pancakes home as leftovers).

But EVEN IF I DID EAT EVERYTHING and then ate a full meal on top of that, later, it’s really not anyone’s place to criticize what other people eat. It just isn’t. Let it go. It’s old.

Making fun of American food culture and food habits isn’t original or surprising or witty or funny or getting one over on us or crafting a clever retort or whatever. It’s lazy and petty and childish.

—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have a cake

—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have some cookies

—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have a box of licorice (as you can tell this was Very Big News in my neighborhood)

—it’s Christmas, have cookies

—my garden did really well this year, have zucchini and tomatoes and corn also do you like rhubarb

—we saw an ambulance at your house this morning, have a lasagna

—we heard your mother died, have some soup and a bag of groceries

—Nina looked hungry and nobody is mentioning you’re on food stamps because we’re polite, also we just so happened to cook way too much for dinner, have some chicken

—it’s a block party, everyone take home whatever you want…no, more than that….MORE than that! You think we want to eat all this potato salad by ourselves?!

—we heard your husband had heart surgery, here’s a prepped meal so you can eat properly when you get home from the hospital

—it’s Halloween in a small town, have some apples/popcorn balls/pumpkin bread

—I’m a coupon queen and at the end of this shopping trip the store owed me $10 PLEASE tell me you want groceries I have 42 cans of baked beans

—because why not

I am genuinely bothered by how much this tradition seems to be going by the wayside. This was a whole thing when I was a kid, and there’s literally etiquette for how you handle it:

1) hot meals for tragedy and postpartum assistance, sweets for celebration and introduction.

2) presentation is important—don’t present a burnt or dirty dish. Dishes should have a lid or foil on top. Cling wrap isn’t rude, but it should be avoided because it’s easier to accidentally tear and if it’s not wrapped just right it’ll come undone, which is particularly problematic if you’re leaving food at a doorstep where ants may be present. (1990s addendum: when I was a kid you could buy colored or printed cling wrap around Christmas, and it was considered classy to use this on sweets you were gifting your neighbors as long as it was done in person and wasn’t a doorstep dropoff. This, sadly, seems to have gone away, and I miss it a lot.)

3) when receiving food, always say thank you. Never reject a dish; if it’s food you don’t like, someone in your extended family will take it. If four other people in the neighborhood have already gifted you food and you have no idea what to do with it all, freeze some or gift it to people in your out-of-the-neighborhood circle. The only polite rejections are dietary restrictions, and “three other people have already given me zucchini I’m so sorry.” If all else fails, take it to the break room at work. Someone who forgot their lunch will thank you.

4) Never return a dirty dish.

5) Never return an EMPTY dish. It’s always good to have two or three quick, low-effort recipes in your back pocket for refilling a dish. There is no rule for what you should use as a thank-you recipe, but most people use sweets because there are a lot of quick and simple options and you can refill the dish without cooking in it. (My go-tos are fudge no-bake cookies and honey milk balls. A lot of people in my neighborhood did cookie bars.)

5a) …unless you’re a new parent or the dish was presented to you as a consolation for a funeral. In these cases, a thank-you card will suffice.

6) a dish should always be returned within seven days.

7) using disposable dishes is acceptable, but consider the occasion. A new parent will be grateful for one less dish to wash. Someone who just lost a parent should not be presented with a paper plate.

8) if using disposable dishes, make sure you indicate you don’t expect them back. Some people (I am one of them) will absolutely look at disposable-but-reusable dishes, wash them out, and return them if you do not do this. Never give a disposable dish with the expectation it will return home.

9) if giving a pass-me-on plate/Amish friendship plate, be sure the recipient knows the rules of a pass-me-on plate. You can purchase plates with the rules printed directly on them, but if you’re using a regular plate, gift it with a card that explains the game.

THIS WAS A WHOLE THING. You’ll notice #9 up there—pass-me-on plates are usually somewhere in size between a dinner plate and a serving plate, often very pretty, and the way they work is you fill them up with something good to eat and give them to a friend. The friend will then wash the plate, fill it with something good, and pass it on to someone else—hence the name pass-me-on plate. (The phrase “Amish friendship plate” is….older. With all the slightly wincey connotations of “older” when discussing out-groups.)

A widespread misconception in much of psychology is that (a) as vertebrate animals evolved, “newer” brain structures were added over existing “older” brain structures, and (b) these newer, more complex structures endowed animals with newer and more complex psychological functions, behavioral flexibility, and language. This belief, although widely shared in introductory psychology textbooks, has long been discredited among neurobiologists and stands in contrast to the clear and unanimous agreement on these issues among those studying nervous-system evolution. We bring psychologists up to date on this issue by describing the more accurate model of neural evolution, and we provide examples of how this inaccurate view may have impeded progress in psychology. We urge psychologists to abandon this mistaken view of human brains.