HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! IT’S GALEKH LOVING HOUR!!!!!!

When you had mentioned the concept of human birthdays to Galekh, he was all too eager and emphatic to learn every single detail about it. No stone had gone unturned, no question had gone unasked as he put pen to paper and studiously wrote down your explanations, like they were the holiest of scriptures themselves. You took it all in stride, humoring him with a light smile while you relaxed against his couch and reached out to rub away the crease that formed between his brows as he furrowed them in concentration.

Little did you know, he had every intention of making your special day all the more special. How could he not — you were always a cause for celebration in his eyes. You were none the wiser, graciously accepting a warm hug and a sweet kiss on the morning of your birthday, expecting that to be the end of it. But Galekh had ushered you away for a spa day with Tagora and forbade you from returning to the hive for at least a few hours.

He got to work almost immediately. There was a spot on the roof of his hive that you adored because of the view, and you had even turned it into a cozy little hideout with a few potted plants and a`beanbag chair for lounging around on lazy evenings. So it was with giddy excitement that he meticulously rearranged the setting into a scene straight out of an upscale restaurant, complete with a luxurious table set adorned with your favorite food, flower petals scattered across any and all surfaces, and a sea of glowing candles to light your path.

It was all truly perfect. Except for one crucial detail that he neglected to take care of in his haste to greet you at the door upon your return — securing the gate that would keep his pesky lusus away from the roof.

Galekh was buzzing with nervous energy when you stepped inside. He patiently listened to you recount your lovely day as you flittered about to settle in for the day, and right before you could pillage the fridge, he gently grasped your hands and shyly admitted that he had a surprise for you.

You looped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “You silly man, I had a feeling you were hiding something from me all day!”

He smiled impishly, a light blush coloring his face. “I needed to keep you preoccupied so I could get everything ready.“

“Show me?”

“Gladly,” he said, and just because it was simply Galekh, he scooped you up in his arms and carried you the rest of the way.

You busied yourself with pressing teasing kisses to his neck, earning you a light swat to your behind that made you yelp and giggle. It never ceased to amaze you how he could carry you around like a feather, especially up several flights of stairs, but he never once complained about it. Sometimes you wondered if he was secretly reveling in the chance to show off his strength to you. Not that you minded, of course. He was your loving, lumbering giant.

Galekh was in the middle of monologuing about an inconsequential topic when he stopped dead in his tracks and quieted down. You curiously looked to where he was staring at — the door leading to the rooftop was slightly ajar.

“The door was supposed to be closed,” he murmured suspiciously, letting you slide out of his grasp as he eyed the entryway.

A far-off bleat from the outside answered him back. You glanced at Galekh and noted how pale he suddenly appeared. “That’s not a good sign, is it?” you asked.

“No … “ he answered, nervously readjusting his glasses and straightening the lapels of his jacket, as though he were about to meet with a supervisor. “No, it certainly is not. Please wait while I see what my lusus is doing out there.”

You nodded and obediently stayed behind as he went outside. A despondent groan soon followed, and you decided to slip past the threshold to see what went wrong. Knowing his lusus, you could only imagine the destruction he had caused.

Sure enough, the blissfully unaware goat had dealt unspeakable damage. He was happily chewing on some sort of ripped fabric, swishing his tail side to side as he bobbed his head at you in greeting. You sidestepped a multitude of overturned candles and joined Galekh at his side, surveying the toppled dishes and ruined food scattered across the table, its tablecloth torn up and pulled halfway off. The only thing that appeared to be intentionally thrown around were the flower petals, offering a softened blow to the mess with their pretty colors.

Your poor man looked like the epitome of disappointment, shoulders drooping slightly as he frowned in defeat.

“Oh, Galekh … “ You wrapped your arms around him and smoothed your hands up and down his back in a soothing gesture. “I can tell you tried so hard. Thank you, honey.”

He hugged you back, carding his fingers through your hair as he somberly muttered, “I cannot believe how careless I was. Honestly, haven’t I learned by now that I need to keep that blasted lusus in check?” He sighed roughly. “I’m so sorry. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, and now it’s all ruined because of my lapse in judgement.”

You angled your head up and fixed him with a sharp look. “Don’t you dare go blaming yourself!”

He frowned as he looked down at you. “But I — “

“Nope.” You wormed a hand between you and tugged on his tie. “Come down here.”

He instantly obliged your command, kneeling down in front of you while his hands remained at your sides. You reached out to caress his cheeks and you softly smiled at him, your heart racing as you admired his handsome face, staring up at you with hesitation and concern.

Unable to hold back any longer, you leaned in to kiss him, earning a low moan from Galekh as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in closer. His lips lightly fluttered against yours in gentle motions, and you were starting to get utterly lost in the moment before a bleat steered you back on track.

You reluctantly ended the kiss and pressed your forehead to his. “I love and appreciate you, you know that, right?”

He flushed at your statement. “I — y-yes, I love you, too.”

“Good. Then please don’t put yourself down like that. The most important part of my birthday is that I get to spend it with you, in whatever way possible. Understand?”

Galekh’s morose expression melted away as he considered what you said. He hugged you close to him and buried his face in your chest, nodding silently in answer. You spent a few quiet moments holding each other, your fingers running through his curly locks as he purred ever so lightly at the sensation.

“I don’t think the evening is totally unsalvageable,” you pipped up, and peered at the mess tossed around the table. “We could sample some of those leftovers — “

Galekh looked at the ruined food and scrunched his face in disgust. “My love, we have standards in this hive.”

You giggled. “Does movie night and cuddling satisfy those standards?”

He hummed in mock thoughtfulness before swiftly standing as he scooped you up in his arms once more. “I suppose it will have to suffice,” he dramatically said with a teasing smile.

“Then maybe you will find yourself agreeable to more amorous celebrations as well,” you purred. As if on cue, your stomach decided to grumble in protest. You slapped a hand over it and sheepishly added, “Maybe after I finally get to pilfer your fridge.”

I think @heuristicallyinclined came up with that fantastic headcanon and now i'm screaming thinking about Zebruh inciting a brawl with Galekh because he can't shut the hell up about social justice and Galekh has words for him. Words that he will spell out with Zebruh's blood smeared on the walls.

I want to believe that Galekh is the only person Zebruh doesn't use emojis with when speaking.

I also find it hilarious that in hiveswap act 2, Galekh shuts Zebruh up with the most brisk comebacks I've ever seen from him. Galekh is normally so chatty, even when he is telling you off, so for him to just immediately and quickly shut Zebruh down is too funny to me. He doesn't mince words and doesn't want to waste his breath.

You darn right Tagora is a yandere! Lemme write up some headcanons.

- The first stage is denial. He cannot bring himself to accept his quickly growing attraction to you. You are, after all, just a weak, hornless, pathetic human, and yet that is exactly why he is so fixated on you. It pisses him off to feel such a strong desire to take care of you, to possess you, to have your attention and freely touch your soft skin.

- The more he likes you, the meaner he gets. Not outright because he doesn't want to scare you away. Lots of backhanded compliments, random moments of anger that are quickly tamed. He goes back and forth between being rude and complimenting you. You are too stupid to understand the jargon in these papers but do take care of yourself when delivering them to his client. Your skin is far too freakish to be admired by anyone but come over and let him try this new iridescent serum on you. Tagora's wordplay is more deliberate than he wants to admit. He will make you feel like you are not good enough for him or anyone else, and yet his actions will speak louder than his words whenever he invites you to his hive, or partakes in self-care with you, or insists on pampering you. Your confusion keeps you on your toes and gives him a clear advantage. When you actively seek him out for company and comfort, his tactics will only worsen.

- You work for him and only him. You have to be accessible to him at all times or he will quickly grow immensely irate, or even manic. He has to become your priority, because you are already his. Despite his standoffish nature, he is practically obsessed with your safety, and eventually forbids you from doing dangerous tasks for him. Others can handle his dirty work. You will sit at your desk beside him, make him coffee, keep track of his meals, answer his calls, and help with paperwork. You may be stupid, but he will train you properly. Your success is an extension of his efforts, and thus his skills. And the more you please him with your progress, the prouder he feels, and the more disgusted he becomes with himself for caring this much about you.

- He is particularly jealous when Polypa is around, and while he is allergic to PDA, this is one of a few rare circumstances that will prompt him to hold your hand or even kiss your cheek in full view. Returning his affection will make him 180 and blush, although obviously this will please him immensely and he will touch you more when you are in private again.

- Wants you to wear his color and will insist on a collar for you. Thankfully it is tasteful, although evident that you are his. He loves coordinating your outfits and treating you like his dress-up doll. A particular favorite is styling your hair and doing your makeup. Tagora is the type to control your life because he thinks he knows best. To his credit, he will keep you safe and well-groomed. You will trade off your freedom in exchange for luxury.

- If you deny him, he has no problem getting rid of you. His obsession can quickly turn from love to disregard, so if you want to avoid getting killed, you should probably do what he says.

Of course! I went with female reader for this one. Here's the link on ao3, and I hope you enjoy!

ㅤ

Snatcher x Female!Reader - The Dangers of Cuddling (Smut!)

Yeah yeah yeah, you most certainly can! I've always liked DJ Grooves' personality, and I'm glad someone asked about him! I decided to go with the NSFW alphabet so I can include more details. Hope you enjoy!

DJ Grooves x Reader - NSFW Alphabet

I know it took me like 10,000 years, but I finally re-uploaded all my missing soundcloud recordings to soundgasm! Let me know if I’m missing anything that you happen to know of! Also, most of these are super old, so no one is allowed to judge me about their quality – I dug through these with great pain and I did it for you lmao. I’ll be slowly changing the links on each missing audio post in my actual voice acting tab as well, but for now, they’re all on my soundgasm here:

umbreeunix submitted:

6h, n9w what am I supp9sed t9 d9 a69ut this 69ner?

(Still no regrets)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) 

Very snuggly and grinning from ear to ear.  Generally pretty sleepy and just wants to curl up despite the mess and make out some more.  Falls asleep pretty often afterwards but it’s a light sleep and he’s easily woken up from it for more kisses and another round.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

All of them.  He loves their face, their thighs, their butt, their legs, their tummy, their hands...there’s not a thing he doesn’t love about his partner.  What draws him to someone initially is a smile, when someone smiles at him he’s in love.  What he likes most about himself is his physique over all.  He’s had to work hard to get the toned shoulders and arms he has and is damn proud to show them off, he especially likes his forearms 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Once got a little too wanted and went on the troll equivalent of Omegle to find someone to anonymously masturbate to/with - it didn’t work because Omegle was down so he just went to bed, which was a blessing in disguise 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Likes to watch himself so he’ll set up a mirror or a video camera to give himself a good show.  He’s fascinated by watching his hand collect his genetic material and his fingers dip into his nook and pretend they belong to someone he’s into.  A very active imagination while he’s masturbating with some very well planned out scenarios he’d like to partake in

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) 

Zebruh has a hot and cold relationship with cum.  Sometimes it kind of grosses him out but other times it gets him so hot and he just loves seeing you covered in his, loves seeing it on your mouth, loves tasting himself on you, likes the taste of yours and making you taste it too.  Defs into cream pies - usually.  There are times - usually when he’s alone or with someone he isn’t super into that cum is just a mess to clean up, it’s only good when it’s someone’s he likes or if it’s his on his partner

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He tries to play a role the first few times, he has seen a fair amount of porn and tries to emulate their faces, sounds, pace...but it’s not him and he spends so much time playing a part he doesn’t enjoy it.  That’s where a partner coming in who is willing to teach and be patient is going to be helpful.  Deep down though Zebruh is a romantic and wants someone to love him so even without trying hell say some sweet things, gentle touches, and light kisses.  He learns that sex can be fun, hot, and loving all at once but is usually more serious in tone, not interested in jokes during pailing

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) 

Anywhere?  He likes semi-public to genuinely public sex - on the indigo trian car when everyone else is maybe a sleep, in an alley way of a busy street, in a high class bathroom of a restaurant. he likes doing it in his hive - every room, he loves doing it at your place, other people’s houses, anywhere is a great place to fuck.  Wants to pail in every flat surface in his hive and then your house.  He’s got a lot of places he wants to pail and each new one is his new favorite.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) 

At first like....one every 2 hours, they don’t last long.  He’s going to need a little more practice with a real person to really find his groove.  Once he’s gotten more used to sex he can go about 2 rounds before needing a break and the second lasts 10 minutes longer than the first usually.  

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tagora loves his hair and skin - no surprise here - he likes appearing unattainable and ethereal and spends a lot of time on his appearance. He wants to entrance others and make them want him.  He loves his partner’s eyes and fingers.  He prides himself on being able to ‘know’ a person by looking in their eyes so it tracks he’d be attracted to someone who has attentive eyes.  he likes fingers because nails can tell him a lot about a person and also fingers feel really good in his nook

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) 

Generally pretty grossed out by it, it’s messy and he doesn’t want to deal with it too much.  Not very adventurous with cum.  If oral didn’t include getting your cum on him he’d like it more.  He finds he does like seeing his color on your face and between your thighs but he doesn’t want to touch it 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) 

On his desk because mixing work and pleasure is taboo to him so it’s hot.  He generally likes shower sex because it’s one of his comfort places and helps clean up with out him having to.  He’d be VERY into fucking in one of the other teal’s offices.  He also has a kink for fucking in front of/on mirrors. 

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) 

Not a lot mostly because it’s messy and he doesn’t want to have to clean it up. Most likely to do so while in the shower - as opposed to a bath - so it can just go down the drain.  When he’s really stressed from an upcoming test or case he’s more willing to rub one out because it helps him relax physically

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Katoptronophilia - sex involving mirrors, he likes seeing and being seen, not opposed to giving and receiving light bondage, being a bratty sub/having a soft dom (more about giving orders than any pain, he’s a wimp when it comes to pain), blowjobs/being eaten out while he’s at work as long as he’s not doing something too important

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) 

Really tries to maintain his volume - is a bit embarrassed that his natural moans and sex sounds are higher pitched, they come across as needy and he mostly hates it.  But once you’ve got that relationship established and you’re really riding him he’s going to have a hard time keeping quiet and will get pretty loud - hard for even semi-public sex because of this

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) 

Not super high and he needs something to help him get there usually. He has to be in the right mood and romanced a little.  Show up in your best outfit, make up done with flowers and reservations and there’s no way he isn’t eating you out later.  After a big project he would like it if you took care of him while he hangs out and doesn’t have to put in much work.  When he’s won a big case it’s one of the few times he really takes control and fucks you bent over his desk.  

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

desk

OMG!! THIS IS CANON IN MY EYES!!

NSFW AHEAD!

they're just obsessed with your warmth, you're so soft and just so pleasant to hold and be pressed against, they're fascinated by your anatomical differences, but one that they didn't expect-- or at least plan-- was how much warmer you were while pailing.

the moment when their bulge slipped inside you, they practically stopped breathing, holy shit, you're so warm, so snug, it was killing them. that primal need to pail was itching at them, they tried to stay calm, not hurt you, but that mentality didn't last long.

they were so rough, hips practically slamming against your own, eyes shut while their lips were parted, not afraid to be vocal, the way your warm walls contrasted with their cool bulge was almost heavenly. a feeling that they could be addicted to, their mind hazy, hyperfocused on you and your body, it was mind-numbing. they didn't even have the decency to use a bucket, just spilling their slurry inside you.

~🦀

ofc!! omg, a crab nonnie, welcome! i hope you like it :)

general ->

not sure if this is already common knowledge, but! karkat is very similar to a tsundere. of course, he doesn't hurt you or anything, he just has his outbursts and calls you names, but it's all because he cares for you.

personally, he seems like the type to struggle showing physical affection? maybe it's just me, but he's more reserved! he's just a bit nervous, but he does enjoy your affections!

if you hug him, he might be a little stiff, but that's a given, it takes him a bit to warm up! but when he gets closer and comfortable towards you, he will practically melt under your touch!

if you're a human, karkat is much more protective of you, there's a level of worry that's added, he knows you're weaker than trolls, and the fact your blood color is the same as his makes him stressed.

he wants to keep you safe and away from anything that might cause you harm! you might need to come in and ease his nerves, he just doesn't want to lose you, but if you give him the reassurance it will definitely help.

as time passes, karket will definitely be more open to affection, even initiating it himself. comes up and just hugs you, shoving his head against your shoulder and gripping your clothes while just enjoying your warmth.

when it comes to you, he seems like an observer, he likes watching you, picking out those small little details about you, that can either be the way your eyes sparkle, the small fidgets of your hands, or anything of the sorts.

speaking of, karkat seems like the type to read you very well, he can tell when you're bothered or uncomfortable, and of course he will be there to help if you need it.

if you struggle expressing yourself, no worries! karkat will cover for you, it gives "they asked for no pickles," vibes.

karkat gets easily flustered! press a kiss on his cheek or lips and his face will turn red almost immediately, he likes to deny it, but he knows, he knows he's blushing, he can feel the heat in his face, but that makes him deny it more!

a part of me wants to say that karkat is the type to get you small gifts? nothing major or too expensive, but a simple trinket or a small flower that he found on his way over to you that make him think of you.

karkat is passionate in my eyes, sure he struggles showing that passion, but that doesn't mean it's not there. he like cliche dates and cliche stuff, he enjoys rom-coms, he learned most about relationships from them.

speaking of, movie dates are a given! just the two of you, pressed against eachother watching a movie so sweet it could give someone cavities, both of you could either enjoy the cliche plot, or you can make fun of it, no matter what you both have lots of fun!

nsfw ->