A very underrated part of Phantom Blood is when Dio tearfully pleads that his abused and impoverished upbringing is to blame for his villainy and he only lost sight of what it meant to be good as a result of his alcoholic father, then Speedwagon, a man we can infer has a very similar origin story, emerges from the shadows out if nowhere and says "Nah dude you just fucking suck."

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

i literally just don’t want to watch Kung Fu Panda

well-written women who narratively suck are like crack cocaine to me. hello shitty little woman do you need some crumbs of love that you've clearly never been given? lol

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

oftentimes two guys who want to fuck each other not fucking each other is hotter than if they fucked each other

Character duo where one *remembers I don’t like fitting characters into trope boxes* is a completely fleshed out and realised person *remembers treating characters as real people and not story devices written with intent is bad* who is written by the author and *remembers death of the author* uh. And *fumbles and drops my pile of queue cards* ah fuck wait no *the menacing horse* what was that.