✩‧₊˚kasyky˚₊‧✩

My headcanon about how The Doorman got his body.

(He just straight up stole it from some poor schmuck, lol.)

I think The Doorman didn't really get how to make a human body with all its little details and quirks. But at the same time, he wanted to fully dive into the human experience: feel things, sense things, think like a human. As a cosmic being (fledgling deity), he couldn't study a human perfectly, even by taking them apart piece by piece. And I don't think he can just copy a shell perfectly either. A deity doesn't have to be all powerful; it can feel pain, die, and have limited powers.

The Doorman planned to stick around for just a couple of weeks, just kinda superficially check out people, get disappointed, and then go back to his own business.

The best spot to watch all kinds of interesting people seemed to be the hotel. The only thing left was picking a look. He wanted to seem vulnerable and low key, but not too plain. Then this guy caught his eye, some dude smoking outside the hotel. Future The Doorman was totally charmed by his looks and decided to go with that young redhead.

(Yeah, I could totally write this out more so it doesn't sound dumb and funny. If anyone actually cares, I will.)

So he took over the body, literally absorbed the soul, and got his new and first ever shell. (He had never been human before this.)

The memories were fuzzy, but the most important ones stuck. He had to learn how to breathe without gulping air, learn to stand and walk. He picked it up fast; the body itself remembered all that stuff. The feelings were insane: his cheeks burning, life itself rushing inside him, blood spreading through his veins, and that pulse in his temples. He had never felt anything like it before.

Then he walked into the hotel. That guy's friends probably noticed something weird, but they just chalked it up to being tired or whatever.

I like to think The Doorman loved the new sensations and getting to know human life so much that he stuck around to broaden his horizons. His powers became more limited; he's not as strong anymore and he uses magic carefully, only when he really has to. But honestly, he's way more interested in handling stuff himself, even though zapping luggage or a drink tray up to the top floors through portals is way more convenient when no one is looking.

I headcanon myself that his body doesn’t hold all the things a normal human body does, and that his eldritch power/energy/what have you have shifted the body about and changed it a bit (like not having to eat or drink, or sleep, and the fact he is built like that because sir how are your shoulders so wide and your legs so long). So it’s not a one to one experience, but even something like realizing his teeth need to be brushed would be quite a bit for someone like him.

Emotions wise I do think they’ve seeped into him a bit, though not THAT much. It is clear in many of his desperation voicelines that he does genuinely care for what’s going on to an extent and experiences fear. But in a nuanced way and not fully humanly. To him most simple struggles are new, and that’s literally what he’s here for. Plus, based on the fact he used to torment man and enjoy it, emotions as a concept aren’t new to him. He’s used to the eldritch version of them, as the patrons hold desires, goals, reactions, positive and negative emotions toward things just like people in a way.

What’s new is that on ground level with humans for so long, those same emotions have much more to chew on now, as being at human-adjacent eye level and seeing all the details makes the torment so much more (see how he has personalized insults for everyone in his ult).

Because that’s what the human experience is.

I mean he could also just be faking it, but that one laugh in one of his desperation ult voicelines tells me it is a new or at least exciting experience, for him to be vulnerable like that.

About emotions, I just don't like it when people see him as some emotionless deity. He's living his new life now and clearly doesn't want to go back to the old one. He likes serving at the Baroness's place and being The Doorman in this new form. He doesn't want his full power or potential back. He's good with how things are.

The ritual is what let him remember how he used to kill and have fun that way. Obviously he always had emotions, but like you said, they were different, not human at all. So a lot of this is still new to him. He gets angry, his professional mask slips, he laughs hysterically, and he mocks others (but he gets mocked too).