Quotes from Retail Starters
“Collectively, between all of us, we make one fully functioning person.”
“You are just fueled by spite and chai tea lattes.”
“Listen, I could get you in trouble for not taking a break, but I won’t.”
“Alright, I’m leaving to go get a bagel.”
“I volunteer as tribute for the coffee run.”
“I just… I just made that look pretty…”
“I’m surrounded by chocolate and I can’t eat any of it.”
“Oh no look at that, the playlist went and skipped that song oh no…”
“Excuse me while I stand next to the door and look creepy so no one comes in.”
“I was going to say that I had my key, because I know I do, but now that you’ve asked I am filled with needless doubt-yes I have it.”
“Why is the majority of the staff here suffering from some issue that also happens to be related to almost dying?!”
“Yes, I did the stupid thing and went after him, but the power of NO is strong in me today.”
“Morale doughnuts? I think it’s a day for morale doughnuts.”
“Yes I’m one minute late, she knows why!”
“What are they gonna do, get pissed off you’re doing your job with a smile?”
“You would not have been able to get into the place if we were closed.”
“Meh, it’s a good word. How you feeling? Meh. Nice and universal.”
“Don’t worry, I speak tired and incoherent.”
“We all want to parkour over the counter, but no.”
“I mean really no one wants to piss off a room full of women with access to over a thousand knives.”
“Just hide things in the ceiling! We’re getting to that point!”
“The sharp thing has been promoted to the sacrificial knife.”
“I am nose blind to humanities greatest food loves.”
“We’re renaming the dumpster ‘emergency storage’.”
“Now all it smells like is fries back here and I’m hungry all over again. This is your fault.”
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