Writing & Stuff

I think a lot of people misunderstand why enemies to lovers is so popular. It’s quickly become one of the most pervasive tropes in many novels. Is it the banter, the tension? That’s definitely part of it. But if that were true, then friends-to-lovers and literally any romance with good dialogue and characterization would scratch the same itch. For some, it does, but for many…enemies-to-lovers just hits different. 

My theory is that it isn’t actually about love, not really. I think it fulfils a fantasy that no other trope can provide: the fantasy of being seen as an equal. 

Think about what specifically makes someone an enemy in fiction. It’s not just someone the MC dislikes, it’s someone who can affect them in tangible ways, maybe even have the power to ruin them, challenge their worldview, expose their weaknesses, etc. The relationship begins with conflict because the characters are fundamentally opposed in some way. It doesn’t matter why, but they’re fighting. There is a struggle for dominance. 

I would argue that the most impactful enemies-to-lovers moments are never the romantic moments, they’re the scenes where power shifts. They BOTH lose: they’re forced into a position that would have horrified them at the beginning of the story. They end up needing (or wanting) each other. 

That’s why I think people are often disappointed when a supposed enemies-to-lovers story turns out to be a milquetoast attempt where they’re just kinda mean to each other for a few pages, and then immediately start making out. Where’s the risk, the actual threat? If the characters aren’t capable of genuinely affecting one another, then the relationship isn’t actually transforming in a satisfying way. The appeal is in the fact that they have power over each other, because the eventual trust they build requires real surrender.

Because here’s the thing about enemies; they pay attention, and usually more attention than anyone else. They notice weaknesses because they’re actively looking for them, they notice strengths because they need to account for them. They notice habits, blind spots, ambitions, fears. 

They study the MC with a level of scrutiny that borders (and later crosses) intimate, but unlike friends (or supporting characters in the MC’s corner) they’re not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, they don’t overlook flaws out of affection. Which is exactly what makes the eventual romance so satisfying. It feels earned. 

It’s easy to imagine being loved by someone who sees the best version of you, but it’s an entirely different thing to be loved by someone who has seen you at your worst. That’s why this dynamic often feels more convincing than romances where the characters are immediately into each other.

I imagine there are many who go through life feeling misunderstood, or worse, that the people who love them only love the polished, perfect version they present to the world, almost like impostor syndrome. But what if there was someone who couldn’t be fooled by this carefully constructed image? 

When someone more powerful chooses someone, maybe the fantasy is protection. When it’s someone less powerful, the fantasy might be admiration. But if there’s someone intelligent and observant enough to see the MC as an equal, the fantasy there is the most intense and honest validation. 

Rainbow-bearded Thornbill (Chalcostigma herrani), male, family Trochilidae, order Apodiformes, found in the Andes of Peru, Ecuador, and Colombia

This is art! 😍

New wip idea: zombie apocalypse

Me: ok

New wip: blood pacts

Me: sure

New wip: he's the prodigy son of a crime family in med school

Me: keep going

New wip: she's a stern and practical office worker he often sees in commute and he has a crush on her

Me: yep

New wip: when the zombie virus breaks out into apocalypse, he goes after her to offer to protect her through it all, and she agrees cause why not and they kill and ransack the still living family he has before running away and starting the plot

Me: oh that's cool!

New wip: at the beginning, he is 13 turning 14, and she's 30; they will be dysfunctional because of the age gap and because they are crazy, but they will have something so real it hurts to look at; they chose each other and they will commit to it as everything falls apart. The repercussions will shake everything not because their love is pure or sweet, but because it drags the truth quicking and screaming into people's faces.

He doesn't know how be touched outside of violence, and all his knowledge of sex is anatomical and biological theory. He had never felt proper arousal or cared to pursue it.

She's waiting for him to take whatever he wants from her and move on with planning the next step.

He just stares at her like she's the world, content. He's already taking all he expected.

She tries to touch first, to choose how she does this, hugging him close.

He's tense, but he holds on to a bit of her shirt even though he's full of panic and can't relax. He doesn't want her to let go.

They stay like that. And do it again and again till he can run to hug her without his mind expecting pain, and she will open her arms without any fear of being held down and forced into anything.