I want to give women advice that I wish I had gotten or listened to when I was younger.
Stop giving yourself a deadline for things you feel like you need to accomplish. When you do this you are stressing yourself out for no reason. We have our whole lives to do everything. Life is literally just a journey. It is not a competition and it is certainly not a race. You don't need to have sex, be in a serious relationship, finish school, get married, or have kids by a certain age. We do everything at our own pace because if we rush certain things or don't give ourselves chances to change our mind then sometimes we feel even more stuck.
If you are having casual sex with people please always check your synastry with them. Only have sex with people who have their Mars**, Venus, Lilith and Jupiter in your 8h and also who you have mars-lilith**, venus-lilith, ASC-lilith synastry with. These are the people you are most sexually compatible with and who you are most likely to cum with.
Do not ever let ugly, broke, and unsuccessful men pressure you into having sex with them. I don't care if they are making you feel guilty and begging "please just go on one date with me" NO. You always need to remember one thing about men and that is that they will brag for the rest of their lives to everybody "yeah bro I had her". Do you really want the ugly brokey saying that about you? Be very selective with who you have sex with. We only deserve the best.
If you are an attractive woman of color you will always deal with haters. That is absolutely not a reflection of you. That is a reflection of a world who was designed to make us feel like we need to be humble, tone down our personalities, and become more palatable to be accepted. Never do any of that. You probably had haters in school, work, online and everywhere you go and it's because you are powerful and people want to humble you. Don't ever take it personally. Just feel sorry for those weak people and keep being powerful.
Be cocky af. Stop with the self deprecating humor. Stop feeling like you need to downplay your accomplishments. Stop worrying that your insecure friend will get upset if you hype yourself up. Look in the mirror and admire the fuck out of yourself every chance you get. Be your own best friend. Would you call your best friend ugly? Would you tell her she couldn't do something? No you wouldn't. So, why would you say some shit like that to a bad bitch like yourself? You come onto this planet alone and you die alone. So the only person that truly has your back is yourself. You chose your body and appearance before you even came into this life. Which means your soul looked at you and said "she's hot. I choose her" so act like it.
Dance. Never ever let some basic bitch tell you that you're not good at dancing or you look weird. Fuck that. Dance keeps you in touch with your body. Which is so important for women specifically because we deal with so much bs that we end up feeling disassociated most of the time. Put on some Meg and twerk in the mirror and rap her lyrics because they are all affirmations. Watch tutorials of different type of dance and practice just to have fun with yourself. I've been listening to Mesytara and bellydancing and it is so much fun. When you dance with your hips like that it connects you to your sacral chakra which makes you feel sensual and feminine.
Speak up for yourself. If you don't like how someone is speaking to you then say "I do not appreciate being spoken to like that. Try again." If someone hurts you tell them "That hurt me and I deserve an apology." No one in this world is going to speak up for you so you need to develop your voice. Stop thinking people won't like you. People will not like you regardless. At least if you speak up for yourself then they will at the very least respect you.
Stop being so male-centred. Men generally only care about sex. They do not sit around daydreaming and thinking about your future together the way that women do. That's just the reality. If you are sitting around obsessing over a man then you are wasting your time. Instead, you should focus on your career, business, aesthetic, hobbies, friends, family, pets, etc. A man should simply be an addition to your life. He should never be your whole life.
Women have been conditioned to believe we need to work in the same way men do like over-working and not taking breaks. No, absolutely not. Men are able to work like ants, but women need and deserve better than that. The reason is because we have more changes in our hormones due to our cycles. So, during certain phases we have the capacity to work very hard and then we have phases where we need to rest and recalibrate. This is why I always recommend women to start businesses, hire people to do things for you, and utilize social media to make money. I want all of you to sit down and think of five things or more that you are good at. Think of situations you were able to transmute or glow-ups you had. Is this something you can teach people? Is this something you can monetize? Then create a business plan to do that. Create digital products that are unique to make passive income. If you have creative hobbies then monetize them.
Master the art of leaving. If a job is treating you bad then leave. If a relationship is toxic for you then leave. If a friend or family member isn't good to you then leave. As women we have been conditioned to believe that we must endure the worst to prove our loyalty and compassion for others. Why? Why stay in situations that are toxic to your nervous system? Those people, jobs, situations want you to believe that you don't deserve better, but you absolutely do. That is why you should always be saving money and having second options for everything in your life. That is the only way you will be able to leave toxicity on a whim.
Read a lot of self-improvement books and watch content related to that as well. The ones I recommend are every Robert Greene book especially the Art of Seduction, Why Men Love Bitches, The Secret, The Alchemist, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Becoming Supernatural, Atomic Habits, The Body Keeps Score, The Nice Girl Syndrome and How to Win Friends and Influence People. I recommend SheraSeven and her spiritual channel AsheraGoddess for learning how to win in life, having class, and getting what you want out of men. I recommend Margarita Nazarenko for how to have confidence, detachment, and going from an anxious attachment style to secure attachment. I recommend TheWizardLiz for having confidence, not giving a fuck what others think about you, and having boundaries.
Get into spirituality to really get what you want in life. Go to your local botanica or spiritual store and buy whatever you need for your goals. Get easy life powder, fask luck bath washes or candles, Cleopatra and Aphrodite bath wash, oil, and candle, Do As I Say bath wash, Tamed Lamb bath wash, leche de la mujer amada oil, jezebel oil, and 7x7 contra todo incense
Do things that keep you in your feminine energy. Let people do nice things for you. Let men do things for you if it's too difficult for you. It does not make you weak. We all deserve to relax too. We don't need to carry everything ourselves. Take bubble baths regularly (esp with the bath washes I mentioned). Just listen to music and sit in the water and relax. Get regular massages. Women are constantly doing everything for everybody else and that causes us to have so much tension in our bodies. We store all of our trauma in our bodies and fascia which results in back pain, shoulder pain, migraines, emotional issues, and even chronic pain syndrome. So regularly get massages to release that tension and allow yourself freedom to receive and feel good.
Protect your womb space. Constantly do hip opening movements and stretches. You can find the exact movements on youtube and tiktok. They are so necessary especially if you have trauma. Your womb space stores emotional, physical, and sexual trauma. It is so important to do hip openers to release all of that so it does not turn into back pain and tight hip flexors. Also, for womb trauma I highly recommend doing yoni steams because it will help your cycle become more regular, less clots during your period, and less cramps. Use yoni eggs. I use rose quartz and black obsidian yoni eggs. I like doing shadow work while using the black obsidian one. I like writing self love affirmations while using the rose quartz yoni egg.
Get your hormone levels checked out. If your testosterone or estrogen is too high or too low it can mess with your mood, cycle, and appearance. Your doctor will then give you medication to sort it out or have you follow a certain diet to help you. Get your vitamin and minerals checked out and if anything is low take supplements diligently. That will immediately help with your emotional and physical health. Stop being afraid to see a doctor. The more you neglect seeing them the less you know about what is going on with you. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your health. If you are a woman of color and your doctor is not listening to you then get a second and third opinion. Do not let anyone gaslight you about what you are experiencing.
Get professional color analysis and also Kibbe body type analysis done on yourself. It is very important to know what clothes, colors, and cuts look the best on your specific body type and skin tone. These things also help you figure out what hairstyles, hair colors, makeup and accessories look the best on you. This will help you look professional and put together which will always serve you in life.
Do shadow work. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Do shadow work on your insecurities, comparison, envy, jealousy, pain, trauma, anxious attachment, childhood wounds. Ask yourself how does this "negative" emotion or thought protect me? How does it keep me comfortable? What do I enjoy about feeling this way? Also, how does it keep me stagnant? Where did this feeling or thought originate from? What would my life be like if I stopped letting it rule me? There are so many prompts on Pinterest and online for a lot of these emotions and thoughts. Sit and journal on all of them regularly.
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