The Blessed & Stressed Life of a Post Grad...

Dating used to consist of picking up the phone and putting it to your ear rather than your thumbs, guys used to actually walk up to the door rather than send the quick text saying “here”. We used to judge others on personalities and common interests rather than the five pictures you get to look at before the left or right swipe determines your future with that person. So rather than looking forward to seeing someone again, we have to worry about our date actually looking like their profile picture.

When you’re trying to find that summer fling or trying to find love through a phone app swipe smart. Luckily for us we now have phone apps that can kill all catfishers because lets be honest, it would be much more difficult to sit through a date with someone who looked like the next GQ model in photos but more like someone you should be babysitting in person. Even though I prefer meeting someone the good ole’ fashion way, here are some helpful tips and tricks to use when finding your own Channing Tatum via phone.

Seeing Double? Twins? Probably not.

If you’re scrolling through photos and every filtered picture looks too good to be true but you still swipe right, but come to find out a few profiles later one of those pictures comes up again. This happened to my roommate, it’s a real thing. Not to mention the TV show “Catfish” is dedicated to finding these identity stealers. Just do yourself a favor, swipe left and go back to the first and unmatch. Another approach...call the person out! You might get a laugh out of it and everyone loves seeing those screenshots of Tinder matches gone wrong.

Drunk Swiping. Drunk in love. Drunk. Just Drunk.

Long night out, just had your drunk food of choice and it sits in that you’re home alone. It’s past 2am, the right thing to do now is pull out the phone and continue those conversations with a little liquor courage. Put. The. Phone. Down. Nothing can come out of this. We all know after a few drinks everyone magically looks better looking. If you go on a swiping spree with that dizzy mind set it only leads to embarrassing moments in the morning.

So What Do You Look Like?

If this profile only has pictures of his BMW and body shots that conveniently cut off the head….no. Just no. They’re not confident enough to post pictures of themselves then they don’t deserve to see you! I’m sure your car is nice but I’m not swiping for an Uber pick up. Come on guys.

Love at First Swipe!

So you found the one, the conversation is going great and you think you might actually go through with meeting this one in person. But you’re thinking it must be too good to be true? You’re in luck...there’s literally an app called “Love Lab” that does background checks on your match. The online dating Gods have blessed us! Even better...the app might even pay for your first date! This is no joke.

Instagram is Your Best Friend!

If someone’s profile provides their Instagram handle in their bio you just hit the jackpot! Who needs 5 photos when you can go look at their whole life in edited photos! You don’t only get to see what they actually look like, but what they do for fun,  who they’re friends with, if they’re ACTUALLY single, and most importantly does this person take too many selfies.  Borderline stalkerish but they put it out there for the Tinder world to see! No harm done.

One moment you’re loving every second of your senior year and then all of a sudden a “Gossip Girl” season finale cry session starts when you’re reminded it's almost over.

Of course writing those final papers, attending group meetings, and filling out endless job applications are a must in that last semester but lets be real; there are much more important things to do. With that being said the final semester of the free land that us “adults” get to enjoy for four years (5+ for others) is coming to an end. So...damn right you’re going to enjoy every second of it. Here are a few of the pros and cons that an about to be graduate faces in their final lap of freedom:

Pro: Everything you do you feel invincible because you've been here the longest and know everything there is to know. 

Con: But the large amount of alcohol you’ve consumed over the four years is catching up to you and that next morning you don’t feel so invincible.

Pro: Half the classes you take your last semester are blow off classes that either have the numbers 101 in it or showing up in workout clothes is required.

Con: The other half of those classes have enough work to keep you in the library until Spring Break. Only worth 3 credits but there’s enough work for it to be double that. 

Pro: There's enough crazy moments and embarrassing stories to stroll down memory lane during a wine Wednesday with the girls.

Con: Too many trips down memory lane and enough bottles of wine will turn into tears and depression knowing its almost over.

Pro: Landing your first “big kid” job is a perfect reason to go out and celebrate. Another reason to use the “this is my last semester” excuse on all of your friends.

Con: It finally hits you that you’re switching your perfect 4-day week with nothing scheduled before noon to a full time 9am-5pm job.  

Pro: At this point in your college career, dressing up for class is out of the question and only happens when you’re required to for a presentation. You’re perfectly fine with yogas and t-shirts as an everyday thing.

Con: The only thing you’re asking for as a graduation gift is professional clothes and heels that aren’t over 6 inches.

Pro: Any invite is a good enough excuse to procrastinate finishing (or starting) whatever is due tomorrow morning. Why do you think Starbucks opens so early?

Con: That GPA you worked so hard for freshmen and sophomore year has been slowly decreasing one day drink at a time.

Pro: You use to buy all of the books required in perfect condition. Now you make friends with your classmates just so you can split the cost if the book is absolutely 100% mandatory.

Con: Not buying books also means not getting that refund at the end of the semester when everyone has resorted to returning bottles for cab money.

Pro: You cherish every snow day, tailgate, day drink, holiday, or any given reason to act completely foolish while its acceptable.

Con: It makes it that much harder to know that you won’t even be able to look at social media on days like this when you’re gone. FOMO is a real thing and snapchat doesn’t help.

Pro: You’re so over making new friends at this point and could care less what other people think about you when you’re out. #nonewfriends

Con: Half of the people around you are still teenagers that get drunk off of 2 shots of cheap vodka. On the inside you’re slightly jealous they’re just starting the most unhealthy and best 4 years of their lives.

Pro: Finally, you’re finishing the best years of your life at a place that allowed you to meet the people who fed you tequila shots on your 21st birthday. The place that helped you decide what you want to do and what you don’t want to do for the rest of your life (after switching your major 3 or 4 times). You're leaving the place that molded you to someone you would have never guessed you’d be 4 years ago.

Con: It’s only going to cost you a lifetime to pay off the students loans. But in all seriousness, the embarrassing moments you wouldn’t take back, classes that you skipped because watching a movie with the roommates was a bigger priority, and tailgates that you might not remember completely but you know you had one hell of a time, could never compare to any dollar sign.

Thank god for a thing called Homecoming. Where fireball and football tailgates are the only things that matter for a weekend of reuniting and not acting your age. That is until the alarm goes off at 9 am for work on Monday.