The difficult second album

I am truly excited about my work for the first time in a long time. Hence why I am back on here.

I also feel it is possible again. Also why I am back on here.

“When someone walks around a bend in the river, the Pirahã say that the person has not simply gone away but xibipíío—‘gone out of experience. They use the same phrase when a candle flame flickers. The light ‘goes in and out of experience.’ ” 

Well ... I think my bridge would look like this.

This is the bridge I build for myself when I have the courage to do my work.

Without my work this bridge does not exist. It will never exist. I will never go here. I will never open my door and walk along it holding a mug of coffee and a biscuit and singing something good.

The sound of the candle spitting sounded so good I decided to loop it through the intro and get rid of the shakers.

Now the beginning has much more air in it; it has much more atmosphere and much more stillness.

Perhaps it is sadder .... perhaps not .... perhaps it doesn’t matter.

The strings coming through the storm. Mixing the darkness and the light into just the right consistency for the song.

I cannot believe how close I am to finishing this ... although the moment I write that, I hope I haven’t cursed myself.

Keep on going. Step by step. Editing, editing, editing.

I am feeling things that are not pain and loss.

I am starting to work again. I think I might even want to perform again.

I think I can sing again.

The clouds are lifting. I am not broken.

I am still alive. I am happy to be alive.

Pierre-Auguste Renoir explaining why he still painted when his hands were twisted with arthritis. (via stellanympha)

Ok. I am too full of grief and pain and fear to step up and get the lead vocals on Polaris done.

Have come here looking for something to talk me into it.

And I found this.

If Renoir can paint through pain and into beauty then I can sing the same path.

This is going to be an exceptionally hard vocal. But I will try. I will try and try until it is done.

I am a bit stuck with Polaris. Have done a few things that are on the list and it is sounding much better but ... am very tired ... and needed to look at something amazing so I came here.

That is definitely what tumblr is for.

This is just what I am trying to do with the second section of polaris. This kind of perspective. This kind of atmosphere. This is exactly it.

Here goes:

Do I actually want to light a real candle at the beginning and record that? Seems like a damn fine idea. Might sound great or it might just sound plain spooky. Worth a try though.

Really need to look in some detail at the percussion and loops I have. I think the shakers might be making the loops a bit messy. Am not even sure I like the loops all that much. I might see if I can’t find something a bit better than what I have. They don’t excite me all that much.

All the vocals need redoing. Damn. And it’s going to be hard work to do cold northern vocals when the sun is streaming in and it’s boiling hot at the mic.

Something else is perhaps needed over the second section where the guitar comes in. Not sure what. Strings maybe. Something ‘cold’ and smooth and a bit heartbreaking. something that widens the perspective properly as befits the lyrics.

Need to look at the storm horn section properly. Just an idea at the moment but I do like it. They just need to be a bit more sure of themselves and less apologetic. Nothing worse than an apologetic horn.

Generally ... there is still not enough musical passion in the storm section. It’s not of course helping that the vocals are lack lustre. It is possible that they will need double tracking here maybe.

I miss you my brother.

There is a candle in the first line of the song I was writing when you died. It was there for me. I put it there for me. Selfishly trying to get through my own storms and depression  - when you were being all out consumed by yours.

I am leaving the candle there.

Brian Eno (via tozozozo-x)