K.WTV

A tsunami in my gut

Wrong words flood and spill out my mouth

Swallowing my tongue in disgust

Is there more to say? More to feel?

More self destruction in pettiness?

Won’t go away , I’m on my own

It’s MY thoughts that run

You leave me to chase after them

With her fragile hands to create

Create the most fragile beautiful things

Not for herself

Watching clouds form figures

“Are we in heaven”?

Seems likes it

Not a worry in our mind

All absorbed by the softest cotton

I want to live in them

Form myself into one

New cold shoulder

Season of heart break and Broken promises

Exposed words and uncovered tales

It all comes back

Once again it haunts my mind

I ask for too much

Not worthy of excitement

Sadness fills my vessel

And even when happiness flows around

You pity my round eyes full of hurt

My to do list is short

Yet I wait months and years

To keep my words in a jar

Untill you decide you decide you’re hungry

So quickly handed to someone else

No hesitation

Took months of reminders

Completely disregarded

Hurt myself before any man did

Walking in the sun hoping to catch earth’s miracles

Not disasters even if it makes me lyrical

Tear drops from moon eyes

Looking up waiting for something in the sky

Rain and clouds calls me up slowly

Bless me with your water , don’t make it holy

Creative when I cry but I always get by

It’s not new for me But for you

All you hear is that I want to die

Disasters is my art

Rain and lighting is first in my heart

Every now and then it rains in sun

1 am tidying up

Late nights organizing my thoughts

What’s important,

But I seem like such a baggage and heavy weight on others

He spins me in a whirlpool of emotions

Hard to distinguish one from the other

They build up until it fills to my throat

Drowning and he doesn’t help

Only observes

While mouthing words that can’t save me

Throw these emotions up

Then he offers to dance again

Almost as worship

I just wouldn’t take a bullet

Something about being under your arm

Under your chin

Scruffy touch on my nose digging my way up

Deeper into your face looking for a place to rest my mind

Then the second and third

Why do I feel so guilty for not replying? You out of everyone.

Not bc I still love you but I feel sorry for you

I know you’re alone

I remember your fears

I hate that I can feel them

Fucking empathic me

Your fears are not my problem now

I cleanse you from my life

You said you loved me enough to let me go

In your bed

In your mind

Hard to tell it’s there untill I say goodbye

You feel like something’s missing

Start noticing how different it is without me

Only when I realize how easy it’s getting without you

Sorry I’m in daylight

Were you that silent

I hear your feet dragging

Haunting reminder of how you’d let me walk upstairs first

Scraping your soul on ground

Pick

up

your

feet

Let me hear you stomp those boots with every step