J.

This whole summer has been a complete mess for me. I've been grounded the entire summer and done nothing but be in the house, go to church, and softball tournaments. Yesterday my parents found out my boyfriend was over and my mom is trying to kick me out. I want to leave but I have no money and we have no family where I live so I'd have nowhere to go. I actually tried to hang myself earlier but there was nowhere high enough in our house. I contemplated cutting again but I ended up falling asleep holding the razor. I drank to fill my void but all it did was make me cry, talk to myself, and fall asleep. I just wish I could go away from everyone and everything because everyone hates me right now. I possibly lost my best friend and my boyfriend. I've lost myself. I hate myself with everything in me right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I wanna run away but I'd miss my sister. Although I'm not much of a good big sister to her. All I do is set a bad example for her so what good am I to her? I wish I could go to therapy to talk to someone

when you laugh so hard you just barely pee yourself