you are shining so BRIGHTLY

he didn’t expect it to work. every other night he thought ( prayed ) that james would come back. he did that every single night after they broke up because he could never help but be a love sick puppy. but as the nights dragged on the thought ( prayer ) stopped because he couldn’t keep doing it. it hurt too much ( and frankly he started to feel pathetic ) but, now, something made it work & they’re holding hands in front of a cafe & it was really turning into all those chick flicks he watched. one hand felt warm from the coffee, the other from james’ touch, and he can’t help but fall in love with that feeling once again. he’s looking into james’ eyes and he feels himself starting to be that love sick puppy again. any lecture to himself that he shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t let himself be naive, shouldn’t let himself be putty in the others hands is FUTILE because that’s who he is and he’s failed to realize that it’s slowly destroying him. ‘ you’re sorry. ’ he blinks once, twice. ‘ y’know, i was never looking for an apology from you. ’ he’s been the one saying sorry. ‘ i just wanted to know why. i wanted to know what i did to make you leave — ’ because it’s always him isn’t it? he’s the one who falls too hard. he’s the one who gives so much care to any person he speaks to. he’s the one who has blind faith that everyone can be better than what they show. ( he’s the one who gets left in the dust ) he’s the one that is slowly destroying himself & still he has failed to realize it.

there’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at the formality james spoke to him with. his smile faltered slightly but he tried to keep his eyes bright looking. jaesun reached to grab his cup of coffee and there fingers brushed and his smile perks up just a bit because the small touch makes him feel WARM when it really shouldn’t. he clears his throat as he hands over the money for his order but doesn’t leave just yet. he adjusts his beanie with his free hand and he’s sure he’s been standing in this line far too long. but he can’t just leave it like this. refuses to. ‘ james —- ’ he begins but isn’t sure what to really say now. he prayed to whatever deity that he would find something to say. but there was still nothing and he felt bad for holding up the line. & without really thinking he reaches over the counter and grabs his hand. the sweater makes his hand looks smaller in james’ than it usually is. he gives it a gentle squeeze & that says nothing & everything all at once. he takes a glance at james’ face before he turns to leave. jaesun says a silent prayer that he doesn’t let him leave. that he does something. anything. ( please )

it’s a movie cliche, isn’t it? on one random and seemingly normal day you walk into a coffee shop. someone bumps into you, probably spills your coffee, you look up and BAM — it’s your ex. & the rest of the movie is history. but there was two major problems with the situation he was in. one: this wasn’t a movie. two: it was so much more complicated than that. & the magical spilled coffee act would not do anything but burn one of them. but what remained true is the sudden rush of feelings he got as he heard him speak as if it’s been a century since the last time he did. he bit down on his lip before answering. ‘ yes, that’s all. just a little something to wake me up after getting no sleep. ’ it was an attempt at being casual but he felt like it wasn’t working. he was left with the question of what would happen next. he would be handed his coffee and then what? does he just leave? jaesun felt like that wasn’t the right thing to do. does he do something while he waits for his coffee? all he knew was that he had an overwhelming urge to HUG james. & though it seemed like there was an infinite number of things between them it was just a counter that prevented jaesun connecting his body with the others. jaesun wiggled his nose and wiped at it with the back of his hand, something he did when he felt even the tiniest bit nervous. despite the nervousness he wasn’t going to back down on trying to talk to james. he wasn’t the type to give up on people CARED about. 

✆ morning text

( text — elora ) you’re probs still not awake yet( text — elora ) but remember to eat before you leave for work okay?( text — elora ) also it better be something healthy!!( text — elora ) i think i’m just gonna make you bfast( text — elora ) yeah i’m just gonna make you bfast( text — elora ) come to my house once you’re awake okay?( text — elora ) i think i’m gonna make you lunch to pack too( text — elora ) just cause yknow... gotta eat healthy!!

✉ text that wasn’t sent

( text — elora ) can you meet me at the park? i have something to tell you

♀ heartbreaking texts

$ accidental text

( text — blue ) so are you going to visit me at work today?( text — blue ) shit! that wasn’t for you( text — blue ) please ignore that

✘ hateful text

( text — blue ) tbqh, i’m super fucking relieve we ended it( text — blue ) i feel so much more free-er without you( text — blue ) thanks for letting me go and not holding me back anymore

?? drunk text

( text — blue ) sp lke !1! ( text — blue ) hw r u bddy !! 111 ( text — blue ) dd u knr te sku is bleu( text — blue ) ofmg ur nme is bulue 2 !! 11 ( text — blue ) wht a coincuden rght !!

♀ heartbreaking text

✉ text that wasn’t sent

✉ text that wasn’t sent

( text — jaesun ) i didn’t mean to hurt you…( text — jaesun ) please don’t leave me…( text — jaesun ) i’ll change.. i swear i’ll change( text — jaesun ) just.. don’t go… please

# random text

( text — jaesun ) i think you left your wallet in the cafe.

♀heartbreaking text

Blue was tired, extremely tired. He had worked two shifts the day before plus overtime and now he had to go straight back to for eight hours because his boss had decided to hold a dinner for a local convention. Which of course meant they need the whole of the waiting staff. He needed coffee, badly. So, he dipped into the first cafe that came into sight, more interested in his phone than in actually paying attention to the sign. He could feel his blood run cold when he heard the barista’s voice. Fuck , he had to walk into this place didn’t? That’s what he got for not paying attention to where he was going. “Cappuccino with two shots of espresso.” He answered flatly trying to ignore the bad feeling already making it self known in his stomach.

& just when james thought he couldn’t hate this day even more, it just got fucking better ( worse ) because YES, blue is just the person he wanted to fucking see while his grueling day has just begun, & YES, blue is just the person he fucking needed to relieve some stress !! this is just fucking perfect, ( not ) he thought, as his lips curled into a tight lipped smile with his hands slightly shaking as he wrote down the order on the cup. ❛ would that be all for you sir ? ❜ james doesn’t really know why he’s mad ( LIVID ) at the fact that blue, out of all people he HATES ( cares about ), walked in the cafe he works at when this should’ve been something he expected ( should expect ) because it’s a public place & anyone can walk in at any time between ten to eleven p.m. but he DIDN’T expect it, wasn’t GIVEN a three days notice to prepare or take an early break & really, who is james if he doesn’t pinch a nerve in blue when he’s currently in the mood of throwing a piping hot coffee down the said boy’s pants. ❛ ahh, you’re still feeling bitter, y’know a caramel macchiato might make you less bitter. ❜