These things...

Still holding out that someday things will improve though. Maybe one day I’ll have more than a cat to tend to. The weirdest thing happened a couple of weeks ago, my upstairs neighbors dog wandered off and of course I was trying to help him call it. After about 5 minutes he assured me will find him so I went back to watching Netflix, then after about half an hour I remembered I had to go to the shop and in pitch dark my neighbors dog Fox found me and started following me! My neighbor was happy I found him and I was like “He found ME lmao”

I feel venting on here is actually helping me process this whole mess.

Maybe that’s causative to horrible social anxiety that kind of prohibits me from talking to anyone irl so I just stew in this nightmare. Not unlike how being trapped in a barrel would probably feel like only the barrel is full of bear traps of angst and lemon juice of... just lemon juice.

Maybe this is life until I die in 40 or so years.

Pic somewhat related

As my pointless, spiteful existence continues I have no idea how or why to go on. Which makes me feel crazy because no one actually knows what I’m going through. Whatever, would anybody even care if they knew? Likely not

Another unrealated pic for the bots

Years ago I was about to apply for the army, it was the only thing I wanted at the time but then an accident happened and I got nerve damage in my right hand so I can’t.

Now I just feel so jaded and nothing matters to me anymore. The only one who even cares about my existence is my cat because I feed her.

Long one I know but that’s kind of what I use tumblr for these days. I just vent to the bot accounts because I know no one is going to read this.

Pic unrealated.