ocd things

negatively deliberating on the passage of time. tiring

fixating on your hypothetical reaction to deaths

developing a codependent relationship with Your Person because they are deeply hurt and sui**dal and you compulsively refresh all tabs of their social media pages waiting for something bad to happen

hoarding toys/food because “what if i need it/want it later?” - being genuinely upset when someone wants to eat/use it instead even if i have shown no indication of interacting with the item for months

when you have a friend who is a csa survivor and their stories make you fixate on knowing something happened to you but not knowing what

having “body feelings” after reading about horrific and taboo s**ual things and being deeply uncomfortable

not being able to take food that had been handed to me because thinking about someone else holding it was unbearable. not understanding all my friends sharing food.

when you get an old intrusive thought re-emerge at 15 in your girlfriend’s house and fake being sick because you had to go throw up in her bathroom to “get rid of it”

hating sitting in the lunch hall because i could smell everyone’s food mixed together

not being able to eat the parts of my food i had touched directly, leading me to hold on to the very edges of my crust and nibble because i was hungry and wanted to eat my whole sandwich if possible

not being able to eat a sandwich that had been squished after sitting wrong in my lunchbag because it made it taste different

seriously considering whether you‘re fundamentally flawed/a bad or evil person at 9 years old because you think mean things about the people you love that you can’t control

being lucky enough to have “grown out” of most of it but still getting intrusive taboo images as an adult while mastu**ating

having intrusive thoughts about whether you’d care if a pet died/went missing and then them actually going missing right after - traumatic for several reasons

the routine to get rid of the anxiety became confessing the negative thought to the person they were about and vomiting. then i could go back to bed without trembling all over because it wasn’t just in my head anymore

when you are the most attached to one parent so your intrusive thoughts hyper-fixate on them and you think you’re a bad child for thinking bad words about the parent you love the most

when you have obsessive-compulsive bedtime routines like telling your mother over and over that she’s the best mom in the world and one night you accidentally add one to many “i love yous” so your routine gets longer and then attaches to telling your siblings that they’re the best brother/sister in the world because you’re anxious they think you don’t love them enough if you don’t say it to them too