♥just-fero♥

The Book: SimpleRemindersBook.com

I sit at my corner in the office, facing my laptop. The screen already on for 15 minutes but my mind is not at my work. I don't know why but since I woke up this morning, my mind keep thinking of someone that i shouldn't think about. He destruct my mind this morning after years I tried to replace him with someone else. He hates me and nothing i can do nothing to keep me on his circle. I learned a lot and hopefully i don't need to do the same mistake. He's gone because of my attitude. Now I feel like the world slap me in the face by giving me someone who don't give a shit about my feeling. Sometimes he nice but sometimes he is so ignorant. I believe in karma and i won't regret for everything that i learned from life. I'm facing my hard time now and I know the bright future will come soon. Keep in faith and keep fighting for what important for me. I know myself better than anyone else.

Music play so loud mix with the sound from the ocean wave. I sit here alone when all the people mix with each other. It's an opening party one of beach club in the neighbourhood. People drink and dance and talk. I don't know why but I don't enjoy the party. I'm so isolated. I hate all the peoples i met in here. Why do i here? It's time to go home. I'm tired and exhausted of this life. Time to go and finding something interesting. I can't stay in here any longer or I'll get crazy. Times to move forward.

Have you ever feel like don't know what to do or what you want? Or even worse what you like or what you care about? Lately i feel that way very often. I tried to have a talk with myself about it but it doesn't work. My mind keep changing every minute like a girl changing clothes. I'm not sure about myself and sometimes I feel desperate with myself. I keep thinking what people think about me but fortunately they don't care. Sould I or shouldn't I care about others when they don't even care if i care or i just think that they dont care but actually they care! I confuse myself and it worthless. For me it's a crisis of personality on the 28. Most people when they can pass the crisis then they will live longer but the one doesn't pass will end up in funeral of suicide. Nah, me stronger than that. I just need to let it go and by the time pass i will reach 29 and everything will be alright. Hopefully tho!!

Stop sending messages doesn't stop me over wanting. I couldn't resist the temptation. I finished my dinner then grab my car's key. Get in to the car but I just sit. Not really sure if I really wanna go and find out what i want. But yah ,, the engine started and i drove there. Knock the door and face it. Everything just seems fine but it's not at all. My heart keep asking myself. Why should I come? Am I loose in this battle? Should I wait little longer? It's to late now to get the answer. I already here and i just want to make my life less complicated. It will be more simple and no stress or pain. I won't put any emotional on it. I'll just enjoy what I can have now. No promises for tomorrow.

Sometimes it is better to just listen

My tummy feels like a blender in a high power mix everything inside. My heart beats as fast as Mercedes when Lewis Hamilton as the driver. My brain squishing and left nothing inside. It's been 2 days i hold myself to not sending any message. Half of myself want everything back like before but half will regret it if that happens. Being mature is hard but i know i can pass this situation. Every person that come in to my life bring different story for me and teach me how to be a better person. I believe when I look at myself 10 years later then I'll proud of myself by making this decision. I just need to wait and be patience then I'll see if it's meant to be or not.

Hiphop music play in the DJ booth. Every minute more people is coming in to the bar. Tonight i feel different. The music sounds shit in my ears. I just saw the bartender mix a wine with whisky, I don't know either they are stupid or they did it in purpose. I feel sorry for the guest who get that drink. I just sat in the corner of the bar to be sure no one notice that I'm here sitting and get my drink. My mind and my heart been wracked. I just wanna forget everything that happened yesterday but seems everything still stick inside me. Drinking doesn't help me. I keep holding myself to not sending message. It's hard but i have to. Tonight just feel different. I look forward to be back as myself soon.

My life isn't easy at the moment. Well ya never easy anyway. It makes me had a hard thought last night about my future. I realise I don't wanna live in bali forever when everyone dreaming to live in here. It makes me sound ungrateful with my life. But in fact ya. I wanna do something can take me around the world. What can i do? What do i want to do? What is the best thing i can do to take me go around the world? 'Clingggg' i feel like I get a bless from someone above the sky. I WANNA BE A WRITER. That's what I want to do starting now on. Of course I won't quit my job straight away. I'll do it slowly but precisely. Consistently will write something about random stuff. I'll make this page useful. Also will produce a book soon. I haven't thought what I'm gonna write but I will keep in mind that I will make a book either novel or something useful about my current job or anything else. Here i go. My new journey has began. Yayyyyy... I'm so excited. Happy Wednesdays everyone 😙

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Walk down the street with my best buddy 🐕 After been busy for a week, i need to give him some attention 😘😘😘 #doglover #sunday #sundayfunday #sunnyday #bali #summertime #walkdownthestreet #hotday #super

Morning followers, I become the Semi finalist of Miss Bali Tropix 2015 👸 Please vote for me till Sept 10th 2015. Everyone who haven't register yourself to missbalitropix.com please register then klik vote button on my picture. For everyone who already vote for me yesterday, you can give your vote again today by klik the link below : http://missbalitropix.com/contestant/details/171/miss Thank you for your support. Love from Tabanan, Bali xxx #balitropix #missbalitropix2015 #semifinalist #bali #missbalitropix #MBTx