Just Shower Thoughts Thoughts

Now that cell phone are becoming more waterproof, it might start to be more appropriate to shove people into pools again.

Don’t do that.

There are more airplanes in the sea than submarines in the sky.

“A thing that can happen happens more than a thing that is impossible”

If Parks and Recreation and Rick and Morty have taught me anything it’s that hating guys named Jerry is a cool thing to do.

Don’t forget Undertale!

If I die in the same hospital as I was born in the average velocity of my life would be 0

Only relative to Earth.

We encourage ugly people to love themselves but hate pretty people who do

We do not encourage ANYONE to love themselves. If you think we do you need to look at the comments of people who aren’t thin, white, and conventionally pretty’s photos.

What if after you die, God asks you “So, how was heaven?”

Hell will get very crowded from people punching that smug dick right in their face.

It would be super awesome, if men could wear war paint just like women wear regular makeup.

Think of how much cleaner the world could be if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes.

That’s not how canes work and would e a terrible idea even if it were.

There should always be at least one man and one woman onboard the ISS as a backup for humanity, just in case.

Humanity needs to be deleted.

I’ve never seen an Asian homeless person.

How could you possibly know that.

Laptop designers need to test their product at 4 am in a dark room half asleep and THEN decide if their brightness setting goes low enough

What do you think designers are trying to do, make a functional and useful product? Ridiculous.

As individuals, humans are amazing. As a race, we’re terrible.

*insert Men in Black gif*

This whole Oscar outrage is the biggest bunch of spoiled actors not getting enough attention and pulling the race card to make sure they get it.

Grand Theft Auto games are going to suck when self driving cars become the norm.

I assure you the GTA series doesn’t need any help in sucking.

Who pisses the shit smear off the inner toilet bowl in lesbian households?

It’s called ‘cleaning the toilet’.

A 1st edition trading card is priceless but a 1st edition college textbook is worthless

It’s almost as though those are two different things.

If they made up modern-day Friends it would just be six people sitting around the table with their cell phones in their hands for 30 minutes

Weird, I thought whiny 40+ year-olds generally stuck to facebook and/or terrible political cartoons.