RAY

And when the time comes and it comes down to will which decides if coming out is worth it or not, I would choose to stay back and accept it—because there is nothing out there strong enough to fight for.

This age hit me harder than I expected. One moment I'm thinking about my career and whether I'm doing enough, and the next I'm hearing conversations about marriage, timelines, and settling down. I notice my parents getting older in ways that make me pause, even as I carry dreams that feel bigger than my current reality. In between all of that are the daily responsibilities that don't wait for clarity or confidence. It's strange how everything arrives at once, how life asks you to grow in every direction at the same time. I'm still learning how to hold it all without losing myself

Why is never being wanted romantically so damaging like am I not good enough or that pretty to be loved? Seeing everyone get into relationships, have talking stages, have people call them cute and ask for their number, have romantic interactions, makes me wonder what's wrong with me for never having any of that happen to me.

Every new person I meet tells me how pure and untouched I seem. They say it like it’s something rare, something that needs to be protected. But in trying to keep me that way, they slowly move me to the edge of their lives. They don’t see that the distance, the quiet, the loneliness, it changes me too. The very light they wanted to protect begins to fade when I’m left alone with it.

If life ever takes me away before I get the chance to say goodbye, I want you to remember one thing: I would never leave without saying thank you. Thank you for giving me one of the most beautiful friendships I've ever known. You've brought light, laughter and love into my life in ways I'll carry with me always. Some bonds are unforgettable and ours is one of them.

It melts me when someone says they missed me. I genuinely forget that i'm a thought in anyone's mind. I move through life feeling like background noise, so knowing I showed up in ur head feels impossible. like... you remembered me? that's so tender. I disappear into myself so easily that it feels unreal to still be held in someone's memory.