A couple months ago, back in August, I went to a concert. My first one to be exact, which should be a remarkable teenage moment. However, I didn't find myself overly excited nor anxious. Adding to that, it should be known I lied to go to this concert and actually snuck out. However, I found my mind wandering off or not being in the moment. I started to wonder if something was wrong with me. I mean, I wasn't anxious, scared, excited nor overly happy. I found myself just being which is such an odd thing. I started to wonder if this is growing up. I heard once that once we transition from kids or teens to adults, once we mature, that our state of happiness is decided by us and us alone and not the environment that surrounds us. We start deciding how everything around us affects us and we get to decide our reaction unlike when we're kids and everything affects us. If that's the case then why wasn't I excited like I hoped to be. Why was I just being? I've found myself just being lately this past year. I wonder when that will change.
