Decent? Sure.

Alphard wanted so horribly to shut his  mind off, but Juno continued pulling him back.  Maybe it wasn’t fair to leave her to her own accord against Walburga and Irma, but shutting down was his coping mechanism (as bad as it was).  It was better to not feel anything than to feel too much.

The young wizard focused on Juno’s voice instead of is mother’s huff.  He reached over and offered her a smile, turning beet red at yet another mention of sex at the dinner table.  “Oh, all the time, my love.”

Cygnus, sensing his the tension in his older brother, did his best to change the subject before something bad happened.  “Well I just hope that Dru and I have the same luck you two are having.”  Of course, Druella and Cygnus were truly a match made in heaven.  They started dating on their own in his fifth year and Cygnus planned on proposing on her birthday over the summer.  

Cygnus kept his eyes on Alphard, ocassionally looking over at Juno or Walburga.  He knew that usually the older brother was the protector, but Cygnus took over that role for Alphard after the incident (at least that’s what he called it in his head).  His father did what he thought was best for his son at the time, but later realized the mistake he made when it was already too late.  Granted, there were always standards to uphold in the pureblood community, especially when it came to the Black family.  Orion truly believed that he was doing what was best for not only his son, but the family name.  Now he wished he hadn’t let Irma win that argument.

Alphard glanced over at his brother.  “You and Dru are perfect for each other… you’ll definitely have the best luck.”  More luck having kids than Alpard and Juno, that was for sure.

In that moment, the house elves brought out dinner, a plethora of meats and sides.  The house elves really outdid themselves.  Alphard was sure to thank them before they left, causing Walburga to roll her eyes.  “Suzie makes the best chicken,” he explained to Juno in a quiet whisper.  He wished that his parents would let him have Suzie, she was his favorite.  “Her last owner was from the Caribbean somewhere and it’s just… so good.”

The small house elf giggled at Alphard’s praise.  “Thank you… Always so kind, Master Alphard is.”

Juno smiles awkwardly at the elf before she curtsies and returns to her work. Juno listens politely to conversation and minds her manners for the rest of the meal.  

“Dru sounds lovely.” She offers, before going into her own thoughts for a moment. Hadn’t she left this behind? Droll dinner conversations and family members who couldn’t stand you? 

She sighs softly to herself, remembers that good food and someone else’s wine were comforts that she hadn’t had in quite some time. There’s a lull in the conversation she’s barely been following, and Juno uses it to share a shred of grace.

“Thank you for the lovely dinner, Mrs. Black.” 

Alphard offered to take the starwberry, but knew he had to awkwardly let her feed him.  “Thank you, love.”

He ate the strawberry before glancing over towards his brother.  Alphard knew that Cygnus always wanted to be an Unspeakable, and the kid was smart enough to get the position.  Not only that, but he had the right Ministry connections to get the job.

“That’s classified,” Cygnus replied with a bit of a wry smile.  The little showing of personality made a genuine smile spread across Alphard’s face.  If no one else in his family had a successful life, he would be over the moon if Cygnus got everything he wanted and deserved.

“At least he’s doing something productive with his life,” Irma murmured under hre breath.  It was a slap in the face and Alpahard immediately began pushing his food around on his plate again, focused intently on it.  

“Ugh I know what you mean, Mrs. Black.” Juno says smoothly. “I’ve been a housewife for just a few short weeks and I nearly want to die. It’s not fair the men get to have all the fun, is it?”

Her mother in law stares at her coldly.

“I meant-”

“No offense, I’m sure.” Juno says, cutting her off again. “And none was taken, Mother. I am lucky enough to be married to a man as brilliant as your son. And I hope I’m blessed with brilliant sons some day too. We’ve already started tryinh, haven’t we darling?” 

Juno drapes her arm around the back of Al’s chair and starts to gently play with his hair, smiling at her guests. 

Alphard offered to take the starwberry, but knew he had to awkwardly let her feed him.  “Thank you, love.”

He ate the strawberry before glancing over towards his brother.  Alphard knew that Cygnus always wanted to be an Unspeakable, and the kid was smart enough to get the position.  Not only that, but he had the right Ministry connections to get the job.

“That’s classified,” Cygnus replied with a bit of a wry smile.  The little showing of personality made a genuine smile spread across Alphard’s face.  If no one else in his family had a successful life, he would be over the moon if Cygnus got everything he wanted and deserved.

“At least he’s doing something productive with his life,” Irma murmured under hre breath.  It was a slap in the face and Alpahard immediately began pushing his food around on his plate again, focused intently on it.  

“Ack, I know.” Juno says sympathetically. She brandishes her fork like a sword and stabs an olive on her plate viciously. 

“I can hardly stand the thought of just being a housewife the rest of my life. I’ve been quite the best to Al, I’m afraid, he’s barely got any writing done with me around, the poor thing.” 

She laughs girlishly, a bit too coy to actually be coy.

“I’m looking into hobbies. Irma, darling, if I find any that I think would suit you, should I pass them along? I’d hate for you to continue to feel so unfufilled.” Juno frowns, as if the thought has just occured to her.

“Has it been difficult? Not having your children around to bully?”

Irma’s eyes went wide as Pollux struggled to hold in a chuckle as he took a sip of his whiskey. Still, Irma said nothing rude to her daughter-in-law; she was still too new to the family to face her wrath.  

Alphard stilled when Juno grabbed his hand, if only for a few moments before his leg started to bounce under the table.  Her words made him blush as he looked down at his plate.  Even if that was a bold faced lie, the idea of speaking of sex at the dinner table was enough to make him feel that much more uncomfortable.

Irma continued to stare at Juno, disliking everything about the other woman.  She was crass and rude to her family, but if there was an heir in the future from Alphard, they would simply have to deal with her.

Thankfully, Juno was taking all the attention off of Alphard and throwing it onto herself, something that Al was grateful for.  Most dinners were enough to make Alphard sick, but this… this was rather entertaining, even if he kept an almost flat affect after his blushing subsided.  As soon as she referenced the Wizard of Oz, Alphard nearly lost it.  His act broke for a few moments as he caught her eye, the faintest smile ticking at the corners of his lips.  “Right, Ju,” he murmured before she kissed him.  It caught him off guard, but he fell into his role well.

Slowly, he wrapped an arm around her, again thankful for her taking the lead on this.  She was making this a dinner to remember.

Cygnus looked up from his plate when he heard his name pass her lips.  There was absolutely no way she could have any problems with him, right?  “I don’t know,” he admitted.  “I’ve always wanted to travel, but right now things aren’t stable enough in the world to do that.”  With the war having just ended, things were unstable in both the muggle and magical world, especially when it came to international travel.  He was also scared to leave his brother for any extended period of time, just in case Alphard might need him.

“I have an interview with the Ministry next week, for a job I’ve always wanted.”

Pollux grinned from across the table, clearly so proud of his son. “And he’s going to do splendidly.”

“Ah splendid.” Juno says, meaning it. 

“I was always jealous of people who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up.”

She catches Walburga staring at her unkindly and Juno smiles brilliantly before plucking a strawberry off of a plate in front of her and sweetly offering it to Al, he goes to take it and she chides him.

“No darling, let me.”

She maintains eye contact with her sister-in-law as Al reluctantly lets her feed him.

Alphard was exhausted before he even stepped foot in Black Manor.  The idea of dinner with his family made him anxious and filled him with stress and dread.  It had only been a few weeks since their wedding and Alphard was still trying to get a feel for what Juno was truly like.  He didn’t want to act married in front of his family, but they flooed into the house and Alphard took Juno’s hand.  He was a good little actor.  It was like a switch flipped as soon as they entered Black Manor. His body language changed; he slumped a bit, his shoulders tense.  His eyes darted around the familiar house.  

The manor was large, but cold and drab.  There was no life or personality in any aspect.  While everything was immaculate and spotless, there was a depressing aura to it.

Small talk was had between his parents and Juno.  His father was all smiles, welcoming her to the family while Irma seemed to simply tolerate her presence.  While Pollux tried to include Alphard in on the conversation, Alphard remained quiet, merely nodding every now and again.  Irma didn’t seem to even acknowledge her son’s presence.  The tension was obvious, even if Pollux tried to dissipate it.

Soon enough, the entire family was there.  The house elves brought out the salad and drinks.  Cygnus sat on Alphard’s left side (while Juno was on Alphard’s right side), but would glance at Juno every now and again, taking her in and studying her.  He needed to make sure that she was not hurting his older brother.

Alphard fidgeted at the table, pushing his salad around on his plate.  Whenever someone would ask him anything, he’d shrug and look away.  When things got tense, he would murmur under his breath.

“Stop that, Alphard,” his mother snapped at him.  “I thought you were past that nonsense.”

Alphard wouldn’t even look at his mother.  Was it his anxiety showing, or was it an act?  Even Alphard wasn’t sure, as the line between the two blurred around his mother or Walburga.  He immediately went silent and dropped his fork on his plate, staring at it.

“I’m sorry, dear,” Irma offered Juno with a fake smile.  “Would you like some more wine?”  

@junoselwyn​

“Oh no, thank you, Irma.” Juno says, offering a faker, brighter smile back. “My mother, may she rest in peace, always said that any woman who drinks wine with dinner is no better than a house elf who found the sherry.” Juno maintains eye contact as she primly she sips water from her glass, her wine glass pointedly untouched. Aggressively, she grabs onto Al’s hand, if for no other reason than to help him sit still. 

“You’ll have to excuse my husband.” She tells the table, affection dripping off of her voice like honey. She gazes at Al adoringly, even though this was the most she’d seen him in weeks. 

“I don’t mean to be improper but we’ve been uh, far too busy with our lovemaking to sit down for formal dinners most days. I fear I’m out of practice as well.”

Someone down the table starts to choke and Juno very calmly waves her wand, sending the food flying. One of the elves quickly scurries in to clean up.

“Roll, darling?” She says, offering the basket to her husband. “Now, Walburga!” Her sister in law looks at her skeptically. “You must tell me what is going on with your makeup. I’m intrigued.”

Her goose eyes narrow as her mouth turns into a frown.

“I’m not wearing any.”

“Oh dear.” Juno says, skewering a tomato smoothly on the end of her fork. She looks pointedly at Walburga’s husband beside her and offers him a charming smile before biting it just a little too sensually. The table sits in silence as she chews, waiting, probably in horror,  for what she says next.

“You’ll have to forgive me, darling. It must be the dreadful lighting in here, you look rather green. I thought perhaps you paying hommage to one of my favorite American witches, she lives in the west and for some strange reason, she’s green.” She makes a sort of ‘silly me’ noise. “You’ll have to forgive me again, I’m used to perfomers and they all tend to be quite dramatic and fantastical, even for dinner. Half the social events I attended in America were in fancy dress. Still I was just telling Al the other day that I was missing all the color that California has. I’ll be redoing our home...well, once we have the time and can keep our hands to ourselves, right, darling?”

She laughs and it turns genuine when she catches Al’s eye and sees some actual life. 

You’re not leaving me here alone with them.

She doesn’t know if he can read minds, but she hopes. To continue the act, she kisses him tenderly, chaste but still a bit darling for dinner. She giggles and then hands the house elf her salad plate. 

“Cynus!” She crows, as if she’d been waiting for him for hours. “Tell me-Al says you just graduated. Congratulations are in order, but, more importantly, so are questions about the future.” She shifts, and Al takes the hint, putting his arm around her. She scootches her chair closer, the noise echoing, and snuggles in. Al smells like cinnamon and nerves-she makes a note to buy him aftershave.

Al turned and looked at her for a moment.  He wasn’t bad at listening, persay.  It was more that his mind struggled processing what he heard.  He was about to speak when she began speaking again, and Alphard was all but trained to never interrupt a woman when she was speaking.

He did his best to pay attention to her words and process each one as it came in.  The young man stared blankly at her for a few moments before opening his mouth to speak, but she started talking again, and he fell quiet.

When she commented on his age, he shrugged.  “I figured you knew.  Twenty-two is ancient to get married in the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.”  There was a hint of disdain for his family name, but not full out hatred.  He needed his family at this point in his life.

“Okay,” he managed, still rather apprehensive.  “If we can make it through this unscathed, I’m willing to be an ally.  And you are significantly less annoying than Walburga.”  That wasn’t saying much though.

Twenty-Two.

Briefly her own twenty second year flashes before her. Champagne and dancing and crowds of men cheering her on, forty new best friends.

A world away from the pale man in the pale house who stood before her.

She scoffs at the compliment and jokingly grabs her heart, swooning for effect.

“You’re too kind, darling.” Annoyingly she feels a kernel of affection plant itself. Dammit, Juno, she thinks must we grow soft every time we find a soft one?

“I for one plan on being cooped up in my room dramatically writing letters and reading highly descriptive smut novels-you’ll see me in a few days.”

She breezes past him to head upstairs, but pauses on the landing. He’s watching her, still unsure. Juno doesn’t blame him.

“I can’t promise unscathed, but I can promise I’ll try. That counts for something, surely.” 

Jupiter Juno at the Cosmos Club

Juno Selwyn 

The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be...

The day after her seventeenth birthday, Juno Selwyn stole a bunch of her mother’s jewelry and bought a ticket to America. After she the ferry landed in New York, she took a Portkey to Los Angeles and never looked back. Juno fit into the magical underbelly of LA seamlessly, and her stunning good looks had half the agents in town scrambling to sign her. Tragically her acting talents were less than stunning. She spent the first two years auditioning, but hadn’t found the right part yet, and Juno was running out of money when she went to an audition for the Cosmos Club. A Burlesque venue that featured magical dancers but served wizards and no-majs alike, the combination of flirting through dance and trickery was everything Juno had been dreaming of. She quickly became one of the club’s most beloved dancers-known for her extremely fast quick changes and the trick where her hair color changed seemingly in front of your eyes. Her great, great, great grandmother had been a Metamorphmagus, and, as one of the only woman born into her family since, Juno had inherited a tiny bit of the the skill-though she could only shift her hair color. The crowd would go wild, her fan would come in front of her face and when she would remove it, Juno’s expression and hair color would change. She quickly gained back enough wealth to live, so much so that she invested back into the club, becoming a partial owner. Juno felt more alive than she ever had in her life, finally she was in charge, she got to determine who viewed her, and how. Her sensuality, always treated as a negative back home, was her prize. 

Juno should’ve known better-there’s no way to stay on top of the world. 

The American Aurory department raided the club a week before Juno’s eighth anniversary performing. The charges were outrageous, ranging from Muggle corruption to breaking the statue of secrecy. Understandably, many of Juno’s co-workers fled, leaving her to take a good deal of the blame. Knowing America’s harsh penalties, particularly for foreigners, Juno did the unthinkable; she wrote her Uncle Osian. Her father’s youngest brother (and last living sibling) was an eccentric bachelor who was devastated at the fate of Selwyn family’s name-Juno’s idiotic cousins had decided to stay in London to explore themselves, and now their family was as tarnished as her grandmother’s silver. Osian had a proposition that Juno was in no place to refuse. In exchange for paying the American authorities to look the other way and release Juno and her few friends detained with her, Juno had to promise to agree to Osian’s terms. He would fund her, move her back home, and set her up for the future-if, and only if, she did her best to marry into a good Pureblood family and bring status back to their name. Juno agreed-she managed to make it a few more years dating back in London convincing everyone she was reformed-while dancing at any clubs she could find on the sly-but soon, her Uncle’s passing loomed, and the contract would come into full effect. Osian died the day after he decided, without a thought for Juno, at she would marry that Black family’s own eccentric bachelor, Alphard. Juno knew it wouldn’t be as simple as that. Sure enough, her Uncle ensured that his lawyer, a ghoul-equese man named Switch, was the executor of the details of his bank vault-only allowed Juno a minor allowance until, at Switch’s discretion, it was determined that she had “fully committed to her wifely duties.” 

-

Al glared at her.  She didn’t need to know that he never actually slept with anyone before.  She didn’t need to know any more than what she already did.  “Look, darling,” he snapped.  “If you think any of this was my idea, you are sorely mistaken.  If you’re trying to blackmail me, it won’t work.  Don’t you know, nothing really matters anymore.”

He slipped off his dress robes to reveal the well tailored button down shirt and pants underneath.  “You want my family’s money.  Go ahead and take it.  It’s not me you have to worry about, Juno.  I’m just a pawn in their little games.  So are you.  If you think anything else, you’re a fool.”

Alphard took a few steps towards the bathroom.  “Now, you can have the Master bedroom, it should be big enough to fit your ego.”

He could honestly feel himself starting to slip away, but he was fighting it, not wanting to show true weakness in front of Juno.  Not yet.

“So I’ll add ‘listening’ to list of things you’re bad at. But thank god you can get pissed off, its so boring when men are contained.”

“Let me put it into terms you understand-if I didn’t want to get cut off for what I did in Hollywood, I wouldn’t have married you. I have to play by my sodding dead uncle’s rules until I get my hands on the money he left me. You help me achieve those terms? I’ll help you back. And since we both know you’re not going to take me as a lover at least consider me an ally, Alphard.”

Juno emphasizes his full name, her voice as natural as it can be. 

“I have nothing to hide from you. You know where I’ve come from-the only way we can be of use to each other is to work together to get out of this.”

She pauses, staring after where he’s standing a few steps away, studying him for the first time really. 

“God....you’re young, aren’t you?” It’s not mean, well, not intentionally mean. She’s genuinely surprised-he carries far too much heaviness. 

Her voice sent an unwanted chill down his spine.  He still couldn’t believe that he agreed to marry this awful person.  She was up there with Walburga on his list of people he couldn’t stand to be around.  The young man’s shoulders tensed and his hand balled into a fist before he managed to relax.

If he didn’t hate her so much, he would have laughed at the fact that he said Walburga looked like a goose.  He could see that as well, but he showed no emotion.  

“Look,” he sighed, his voice quiet.  He rarely ever raised his voice; his normal speaking tone was always soft.  When she mentioned his boyfriend, he glared turned and glared at her with daggers in his eyes.  “I don’t have a boyfriend,” he snapped.  It was his first time ever showing anything but a blank affect around her.  There was life in him, he simply preferred not to let people see that side of him.

“And don’t call me Alfie,” he added.  “That was a long time ago, and I… I’m not that way any more, so if you could please not dredge up the past, that would be fantastic.”  In all his time knowing Juno, this was the most words he ever strung together in her presence.  “I’m sure you have plenty of skeletons in your walk in closet as well.”

-

-

-

She smirks.

“I’ve probably shagged more boys than you if that’s what you’re implying, darling.”

She rolls her eyes and stands in front of him, her hands on her hips, commanding his attention. 

“All well and good, husband, but you know what the point of me marrying you was? To get my inheritance and possibly be proud to show my face again. My family has done an excellent job of ruining our name and as delightful as it would be to be made a fool of in public by my new, supposedly important little git of a husband, I’m not interested. I’m holding up my end of the bargain-you’ve got a beard beautiful enough to be believable, darling. It doesn’t particularly hurt my feelings that I’m not your type, you’re hardly mine. But if you embarrass me? Even once? I’m telling the world who you are and taking your money back to Los Angeles.”

Post-Wedding Bliss

Alphard was miserable.  From what he heard, wedding were supposed to be joyous occassions where everyone came together to celebrate the happy couple.  Except that they weren’t a happy couple.  The marriage was arranged and Alphard could barely stand being in the same room as Juno.  He honestly thought that she was vain and cold and went against everything that Alphard was inside of his head.

That being said, Al played the part well at his wedding.  He only had one genuine episode where he had to leave the reception to get air as he felt a panic attack coming on.  Thankfully, only Cygnus noticed and followed him.  Cygnus was one of the few people that could talk him down.  At the same time, Alphard knew that this wedding was only the start of everything.  His gut told him that this wasn’t going to go well for him.

The reception ended and Alphard and Juno Black left to go back to to their home, a place that Pollux gifted Alphard until he got on his feet financially.  The young man removed his bowtie and threw it across the room, not realizing that his wife was right behind him.  He honestly felt like crying.

“Tell me, is the whole, boring and quiet thing just how you are at parties, or was that just for my sake?”

Juno runs her fingers through her hair and shakes loose the cluster of wedding flowers. She plucks the veil from her head and throws it into the air, setting it on fire with her wand. Her mother had selected it for her before her death-Juno was finally free of her now. 

“No, please Alphard, do cease your yammering, its just far too much to listen to.”

Juno’s eyes narrow as she takes in the dated, drab, home. She spins in a circle in the foyer, her heels clicking on the empty tile. Two pathetic elves are bringing her luggage in-it’s already clear there won’t be enough room for her clothes in this....residence. Let alone her. 

“As charming as Black mold is, darling, will this be our permanent residence? Perhaps the one your boyfriend lives in?”

She’s at least caught his eye. He actually could be decently handsome, if you put any truth about him out of the equation, he was actually quite a nice daydream subject.

“I’m not being pedantic. That woman you're related to who reminds me of a goose told me, she even pointed him out. I’m sure he’s delightful in the sack-I mean, you should’ve been honestly with me from the start, Alfie. Then I could’ve told you we apparently share a mutual affinity for bum holes.”