j’s space

but, i guess, what is also painful is forgetting.

i didn’t want to forget. i don’t want to forget you. but now that i am slowly removing every piece of you that i kept close to me, i can feel you slowly being erased.

of course, you and i will still work together, but you will only exist there. you will soon cease to exist outside of that place.

so so in love with that girl, it makes me sick to my stomach.

but it’s over, i’ve already chosen to walk away and this time, i will stand by it. i’m still trying to make peace with the fact that my love for her can coexist with respect for myself.

even if i don’t want to.

if we’re talking about want, it has been a long time that all i’ve ever wanted was you.

i don’t know how long it will be still.

but even if i don’t want to—not at all—i will walk away.

because a little part of me finally believes that i deserve more than this, that it is a disgrace to myself and to the people i love for me to keep loving someone who will never love me or even see me the way that i deserve.