how romantic

“It’s so wet,” Hollander says abruptly. It’s like the words just tumble out of him, face bright red, looking the sort of uncomfortable that is doing nothing at all to stop the way Ilya’s cock fills beneath his sweats. 

He tries to keep his voice level. “That is normal, Hollander.” 

“No, like—really, really wet,” he insists, lowering to a hiss of a whisper. “Sometimes it feels like—it’s like I pissed myself. I had to change twice since we talked earlier. That cannot be normal.” 

“Hm,” Ilya hums. “What are you thinking about when you get this wet?”

“None of your business,” he pushes through his teeth. Glances somewhere over Ilya’s shoulder. 

“You are in locker room, maybe? With your team? Hoping they will not notice?” Ilya asks, teasing his fingertips beneath the band of Hollander’s boxers. “Or maybe in your little outfits and makeup for your commercials? Maybe you are discussing boring business plan with your parents and—” 

“Don’t be fucking gross,” Hollander bites. 

Ilya snaps the band against his hip until he yelps. “Tell me.” 

--

🔩 magic mike's last dance au - ex male entertainer ilya is bartending an event when someone recognizes him. shane, reserved, older, attendee of the elites, overhears this and asks what ilya would be willing to accept for one last dance. it ends up being much more than that, which would have been fine - until ilya runs into him, his husband, and their son at a different event months later. it's never as simple as it sounds.

🔩 #ilyapreg - baby's first ever mpreg! canon divergence post tuna melt. in the aftermath of ilya's phone call in boston with his father, the vibe shifts and shane offers to take care of him which, to both of their surprise, ends with them switching for the first time. it's more intense and intimate than either of them expect it to be, and when ilya wakes up, shane is gone. miscommunication (and a baby) ensue.

🔩 prison fic - ilya and shane are both inmates that find solace in each other while they navigate shame, grief, anger, sex, and the actions that landed them there in the first place, and what the future's going to look like once they're out.

🔩 major depressive disorder ilya - another post tuna melt divergence. in the wake of rose landry, ilya backslides. svetlana, cliff, and a newly single shane team up to get him through it, even if ilya's sadness affects them all more than they're willing to admit.

🔩 for a good time call au - shane, fresh out of a job and a long-term relationship, is in need of a place to live that doesn't involve rose's couch or his parent's looming disappointment. ilya, a failed actor that now works for cheap for a phone sex line with svetlana, has an extra room. he could use some help with his current business model. Shane happens to excel in finance. the sex part of things has nothing to do with it. it doesn't.

🔩 older trailer park ilya x divorced shane - au. ilya and shane have a History, but couldn't have been together when they were younger due to careers, reputations, russia, etc. thinking he's saving them from a lifetime of never enough, shane marries rose and pours himself into hockey - even more so after ilya retires suddenly a few years after his father's death and disappears from the public eye - until an injury forces him into retirement. without the distraction of the game, shane gets to know himself more and embraces the things he wants; ilya's already waiting for him when he gets there.

🔩 kinktober wildcard - a ~100 word snippet from a random kinktober entry, no context

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tags: @russianblush @intosnarkness @eusuntgratie @rain-universe @thetimesinbetween @potato-jem @dearseaglass @mayflowersinapril @tiptoethruthetulips @seths-rogens @miss-minnelli @lem0nademouth @zwiazdziarka @doubleappled @thorun93