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he's gonna help you pick out your outfits. secretly, i believe, he loves fashion. and he loves when you color coordinate for dates/events/galas. and if it's a really important game? he's laying out the outfit for you on the bed he wants you to wear.
he pumps the gas. even if you're driving, he's getting out of the car and pumping the gas. while he's at it, he's going to clean off the front and back windshield, throw out the trash, walk inside and get your favorite candy snack and a soda.
he always keeps eye contact. when he's speaking to you, even just sharing about his day, he's looking into your eyes. when he's listening to you speak he's not breaking eye contact.
he is always next to you. it gets to the point where you feel odd when you're by yourself when he's away, almost unsettled. when you're walking out together he's closest to the street/edge of the sidewalk. when you're waiting in line he's going to be just slightly behind you.
thinking about doing a ride along with dirty cop!nate
you started taking the citizen police academy classes that nate signed you up for. solely because it gave him an excuse to be around you more, and you told him that all he does is write tickets all day long.
let me show you what i actually do, sweetheart.
he makes sure he is in the room for every class. no matter the subject; narcotics, prostitution stings, swat callouts, car chases, pedo’s…not his division? he’s gonna be there. cause like he said, there’s a lot you don’t know about.
when it comes time for the ride along, he makes sure you’re in his car. and it’s for the whole 12 hour shift. so you’re stuck with him, in a tight police car, all damn night. from 7 pm to 7 am.
he doesn’t shake the jerk facade, he is still a dick even behind a badge. but you get to see just how dirty he can be. when he sees people clearly committing crimes, he waits until the last possible minute hiding behind the blacked out undercover car, to flip on the lights and put them in cuffs.
you see him tamper with evidence, work out deals with gang members, sweet talk prostitutes to get the information he wants….but again, there’s a lot you don’t know about.
he keeps up the dickhead mentality until his car gets shot at, then he’s focused on making sure you’re safe and okay. thank god he put the vest on you.
he teases you when he drops you off at your house, but then he apologizes for the trauma the night might have caused. he could tell you were shaken up, that you weren’t going to get much sleep anytime soon.
but he can’t help but smile when you tell him to crawl in bed with you because after all, he does have a change of clothes at your house from the day before anyway…
summary ♡ fans are worried about your sudden absence across all social media platforms until an update from you creates the most ecstatic of shockwaves.
pairing ♡ william saliba x south asian/brown!fem!reader
content ♡ fluff, social media au, inspo from that classic thing brown influencers do where they hard-launch their partner only after getting engaged/married :P, reader is a content creator herself, y/l/n = your last name, google-translated french 💋
faceclaim ♡ mishti rahman | mishti.rahman
a/n ♡ hiiii i was so invested & rlly set on having mishti as the faceclaim for this that i waited until she posted her own wedding content to use & i’ve had this in my drafts since nov 2023 😭😭 big up my bengali queen tho :3 this is quite short but hopefully u all enjoy it! pls lmk what u think!! 🫂💘
yourusername has uploaded to her instagram story!
yourusername and w.saliba4
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yourusername sorry everyone, been a bit busy 🙈 normal services will resume shortly — we have so much to catch up on! 🥰❤️
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luvy/n a bit busy??? a BIT busy?????? where did HE come from
↳ yourusername 😭😭 i promise he’s nice xx
benwhite congratulations mr and mrs y/l/n!!! 🥳
↳ yourusername thank youuu benny 🥹❤️
↳ w.saliba4 benwhite we agreed to go with saliba-y/l/n 😅
↳ aaronramsdale w.saliba4 whatever she lets you believe mate 👍
gaabisevero congrats to the cutest couple ever 🥺
↳ yourusername thank you so much my love 💕💕
lomly/n AYYYY WE’RE NO LONGER FATHERLESS
y/nfan2 U GUYS THAT ONE DAMN PIC SHE PUT ON HER STORY HOW DID WE NOT CLOCK IT WAS FROM HER OWN DAMN MEHNDHI ???????
afcy/n miss girl knows how to play the game and she played us all like a damn fiddle 😩😩
↳ y/nfan17 that's MRS girl now 🥹
w.saliba4
liked by declanrice, arsenal and others
w.saliba4 thank you all so much for the blessings and sweet messages as we start this new life together! and to my wife: i thank the universe that you are mine to love every day. je t’aime, mon ange ❤️🩹 yourusername
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y/nwilo he’s WHIPPED 😩😩
_gabrielmagalhaes ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
song4y/n oh she chose so well 🥹🥹
↳ y/nlover they both did!!!! 🫶🫶
tolami_benson power couple!! ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
yourusername i love you so much baby ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 i’m so lucky to be spending forever with you
SIDNEY CROSBY | 37 | Pittsburgh Penguins | "Sid" (or "The Kid," but he’s heard it enough) | Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia
Sidney is the definition of routine—early mornings, same breakfast every day, and an unmatched ability to focus on whatever he sets his mind to. Born and raised in Cole Harbour, he still carries that small-town mentality with him—humble, hardworking, and never too far from home for too long. He’s got a quiet but sharp sense of humor, a love for classic cars, and a deep appreciation for a well-made peanut butter sandwich. His inner circle is small but unshakable, filled with the people who’ve been there since day one. Off the ice, he’s all about the simple things: a round of golf, a good meal, and being anywhere near the water.
🏒 Fun Prompts with Sid 🏒
What’s something you’re embarrassingly bad at?
"Wrapping presents. It doesn’t matter how hard I try—they always look terrible."
What’s a guilty pleasure song you love?
"‘Call Me Maybe.’ No shame. Absolute banger."
What’s a habit you wish you could break?
"Overthinking every single decision. I’ll spend 20 minutes debating which water bottle to buy."
"sometimes love sneaks up on you, like a perfectly timed body check."
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Twelve hockey players—some of the biggest names in the game, plus a few under-the-radar cuties ready to steal your heart—are lacing up for the ultimate competition. But this isn’t about goals, assists, or highlight reels. This is about love.
Each week, they’ll put it all on the line—taking you on unforgettable dates, pulling out every trick they’ve got, and proving why they deserve your vote. But here’s the twist: you hold all the power. No refs, no coaches, no contracts—just you, choosing who stays and who gets sent to the locker room for good.
The cast? Oh, it’s stacked. A mix of fan favorites, smooth talkers, absolute menaces, and guys who might just surprise you. But who exactly is stepping up to compete?
That’s for you to find out soon. Stay tuned, because once the roster drops, there’s no turning back.
Who’s ready for some love? 🏒💘
FIRST CONTESTANT REVEALED AT :23, I WILL BE DOING SEPARATE POSTS FOR EACH BUT I WILL MAKE A CONSECUTIVE POST AFTERWARD ❤️
You knew it was coming before you even packed your bags. Before you sat at the edge of his bed, staring at the floor with your heart lodged in your throat. Before you swallowed back the apologies that wouldn’t make sense to him because he did nothing wrong.
Sidney was always going to love you enough to fight for you. That’s just who he was. But that was exactly why you had to leave.
It wasn’t that you didn’t love him. If anything, you loved him too much.
“I’m doing this because i care”
You played those words over and over in your head, tried to convince yourself that this was mercy. That walking away wasn’t an act of cowardice but of self-preservation — for both of you. Because no matter how much he told you the age gap didn’t matter, that you weren’t holding him back, you knew better.
“You’re really doing this?” His voice was quiet, measured. That was how you knew he was holding back. Because Sidney Crosby didn’t beg, not even for the things he wanted most. But there was something about the way he looked at you now, his eyes shadowed in something between anger and disbelief, that made you wonder if maybe he would. If maybe he was waiting for you to change your mind.
You had to be stronger than that.
You inhaled sharply, forcing yourself to keep looking at him “It’s for the best”
A scoff, the first crack in his composure “For who?”
You hesitated “For you”
His laugh was bitter “That’s bullshit”
Your hands curled into fists, nails biting into your palms “Sid—”
“No” He shook his head, stepping closer, forcing you to meet his gaze “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make this decision for me and pretend it’s because you care”
But that was exactly why you were doing it.
You weren’t dumb. You knew what people said. That you were too young, that he had too much to lose, that eventually, he’d wake up and realize you were a mistake. And maybe they were wrong, maybe Sid would have kept choosing you, over and over again, no matter what. But you couldn’t live every day wondering when that would change. When he’d wake up and see what everyone else did—that he could do better.
That he deserved better.
So you did what you always did. You ran.
But Sid was too damn stubborn to let you go without a fight.
“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” His voice was raw now, the anger giving way to something softer, something dangerous “You think I don’t know you’re scared?”
You turned your head away, blinking hard “It doesn’t matter”
He let out a breath, long and tired “It matters to me”
God, why did he have to make this so hard? You clenched your jaw, forcing the words out past the lump in your throat “I can’t be the reason you slow down. I can’t be the thing holding you back”
Sidney’s brows furrowed, his frustration spilling over “Jesus, is that what you think?”
You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to.
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply “You’ve never held me back, not once”
“But I will” you whispered, and that was the truth that had been eating you alive for months “Maybe not now, but eventually”
His shoulders slumped, a rare moment of vulnerability “You really believe that?”
You nodded, barely able to keep yourself together “And I don’t want you to hate me when you finally realize it too”
Sidney was silent for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse “I could never hate you”
Maybe that was true. Maybe in some other world, in some other life, you wouldn’t be standing here tearing each other apart. Maybe you would have been enough.
But in this one, you weren’t.
“I’m sorry” you whispered, turning before he could see you break.
Sid didn’t call after you. He didn’t stop you. Because he knew you well enough to understand that if you had made up your mind, nothing he said would change it.
You wanted him to chase you. You wanted him to prove you wrong.
But you also knew that if he did, you wouldn’t have the strength to leave.
So you kept walking, even when it felt like you were ripping yourself apart.
You were still trying to convince yourself you did it all just because you care.
Can you write Sidney with a younger reader and her trying to get him to understand a tiktok trend or just anything like that I love the one you just wrote
“sid, please.”
you’re borderline whining at this point, sprawled out on the couch with your phone in hand, watching yet another video of some ridiculously strong guy effortlessly tossing his girlfriend over his shoulder like a damn sack of flour.
sidney, meanwhile, is watching you with mild suspicion from where he’s standing in the kitchen, halfway through making a protein shake like the responsible athlete he is.
“why?” he asks, deadpan.
you groan. “because it’s cute!”
he doesn’t look convinced. in fact, he looks downright unimpressed, especially when you shove your phone in his face so he can watch the video for himself.
the sound of sabrina carpenter’s voice fills the room—
"a boy who’s jacked and kind—"
—and, right on cue, the guy in the video easily hauls his girl up, holding her on his shoulder like she weighs nothing.
when you turn your hopeful gaze to sidney, he just blinks at you.
“okay,” he says slowly. “but… i already pick you up all the time.”
your eyes nearly roll out of your head. “yeah, but not like this!”
he frowns. “so you want me to just… throw you over my shoulder?”
“yes.”
“for tiktok?”
you nod vigorously. “yes!”
sidney exhales like this is the hardest thing you’ve ever asked of him—which, frankly, is ridiculous considering all the things you’ve convinced him to do before.
“do i have to do it on camera?”
“yes.”
he takes a long sip of his shake, staring at you over the rim of the cup.
“…why?”
you groan again, flopping back dramatically. “because it’s a trend, sid! and you’re literally perfect for it!”
he squints. “i don’t get it.”
you sit up instantly. “you’re jacked and you’re kind! you’re literally built for this trend, babe.”
sidney doesn’t react to that immediately, but you don’t miss the way the corner of his mouth twitches slightly, like he’s trying not to smile.
“so what, i just pick you up and then what?”
“that’s it! you pick me up, i giggle adorably, we post it, and then everyone online gets jealous of our love.”
he stares at you for a beat. “you giggle adorably?”
“yes.”
sidney definitely looks like he’s holding back a smile now. he shakes his head slightly, setting his shake down on the counter before finally walking over to you.
“fine,” he sighs, “but if you fall, that’s on you.”
you gasp. “you think you’d drop me? i thought you were an elite athlete.”
his brows lift. “you want me to throw you around or not?”
your stomach does a flip at that.
you clear your throat. “okay, okay, fair. let’s do this.”
sidney rolls his eyes but obliges, pulling you to your feet. you hurry to set up your phone, hitting record before running back to him, practically buzzing with excitement.
the music starts playing.
"a boy who’s jacked and kind—"
and before you can even register what’s happening, sidney’s got you.
one second you’re standing in front of him; the next, you’re effortlessly sitting on his broad shoulder like you weigh nothing at all.
you let out a surprised squeal, your hands flying to grip his shoulder but he’s solid, barely budging under your weight.
“holy shit,” you gasp, half laughing, half turned on. “that was so hot.”
sidney chuckles, giving your thigh a light pat where he’s holding you in place. “happy now?”
“so happy.”
he hums. “good. because i’m keeping you here.”
your stomach flips again. “sid—”
but he’s already walking away, carrying you effortlessly toward the bedroom.
a/n: writing this tipsy as shit in the bar but i hate seafood so i wrote this also this is NOT EDITED AND I'M SORRY
you're both sitting on the back deck of sid's lakefront house. natemac is there with his girl, obviously, along with sid's entire family and nate's too. you're feeling so intimidated by everyone; everyone is so nice, but you're a bit overwhelmed.
troy calls everyone to the picnic tables out back for dinner, and that's when you realize: oh god. every single dish is seafood based. it makes sense, this is coastal nova scotia, but oh my god you do not do seafood. you're a picky eater at the best of times, and this is decidedly not the best of times, so you're feeling like if you have to choke down a piece of crab meat on top of all the meeting and greeting you've done today, you'll pass out.
sid notices your apprehension, of course -- he's observant like that. always one step ahead of you; knowing when you're uncomfy before you even do.
"hey," he murmurs in your ear, hand still warm on your thigh. he begins rubbing circles into the meat of your leg with his thumb. "you good?"
you swallow, loudly, you feel like everyone can hear it. "of course, why wouldn't i be?" you smile at him, fake as can be, and he immediately sees the fear in your eyes.
"babe, seriously, what's wrong? are you not hungry? i haven't seen you eat anything since breakfast, are you feeling sick?" sid begins his sid-terrogation, as you call it, he's just trying to get to the bottom of the problem. he always wants to get to the bottom of the problem. he's a problem solver. always has been. probably always will be.
"no, i'm fine, swear," you try to smile normally at him, but you've never been good at hiding your emotions. you feel overwhelmed and kind of freaked out and you definitely won't be able to take a bite of fish without gagging in front of all these people. "let's just go sit, huh?"
"no way," sid says, standing up abruptly. "c'mon, come inside for a sec," he pulls you up out of your adirondack chair, motioning to his dad who's manning the scallops on the grill, "dad, we'll be right back, just need to grab something."
troy smirks at him like he knows something you don't. i'm not running off for a quickie with your son! you want to shout, but of course that would be insane.
sid pulls you inside the sliding doors, sliding them shut behind you and pulling you into the open concept kitchen. he grabs your waist as you let out a squeak and hoists you onto the counter, no problem. dating a professional athlete who lifts five times a week has its perks, you think.
"tell me what's wrong, please," sid demands. he's a man used to getting what he wants.
you wilt under his strong gaze. "you're going to think i'm being ridiculous," you mutter in warning.
sid frowns, serious as ever. "i would never think that," he says emphatically. "i always think the world of you."
you roll your eyes. "okay but i am being ridiculous...right now," you mutter.
"okay..." sid says, confused furrow taking over his brow. "then tell me anyway."
"i just," you sigh. "sid, i don't eat seafood! like at all! i'm a vegetarian! i've been a vegetarian for the last year and a half we've been together! and the twelve years before that!"
sid's eyes widen. "oh jesus," he murmurs to himself. now he looks dumbfounded, like he knows he forgot something. "baby..." he reaches for you, putting his hands on your hips and rubbing soothing circles into the flesh. "baby, i'm so sorry, i didn't even think about that. i'm an ass."
you shake your head, immediate, people-pleaser-mode initiated. "no, no, it's not a big deal. i just...i'm so overstimulated right now i don't think i can fake it in front of all these people. i don't know what to do," you whine a little, not afraid to leverage your big pouty eyes to get sid to do your bidding. (he'd do it anyway. he lives to do your bidding.)
sid shakes his head, determination back in his features. "don't worry about it," he says. "i've got you. stay here."
sid leaves you sitting on the counter and slips outside. you can see through the window that he's talking to his father, but you can't tell what they're saying. troy claps sid on the back before sid nods and heads back inside.
"c'mon," he says simply, jerking his head toward the front of the house.
you're confused. "what do you mean? we're leaving?"
"just for a little while," sid says with a smirk. "c'mon, trust me."
you do. of course. you trust sidney crosby with your life.
he drives the two of you all the way into downtown halifax to a cute little vegetarian restaurant and juice bar. he buys you a bowl and himself a green juice (health freak), and the two of you sit in the car with your spoils.
"you did not have to bail on your family barbecue to buy me a rice bowl, sidney," you say sternly. "i wish you hadn't, actually, because holy shit they probably think i'm such a brat now!"
"they don't think you're a brat," sid rolls his eyes. "i told them you didn't feel good and we needed to go to the pharmacy to get you some dayquil. not a big deal, okay?"
you stare at him. "why did you do that?"
he stares back, unblinking. "because you were uncomfortable and you said you were overstimulated and i wanted to fix it?" he says it with an unspoken duh at the end of the sentence.
you carefully put the lid on your rice bowl, place it in the footwell of the car, and launch yourself at sid in the driver's seat.
"you're my favorite, you know that?" you murmur in his ear, arms wrapped around broad shoulders.
You’d given him a heads-up that your four-year-old was a ball of energy with no filter but you don’t think Joey quite believed you.
Not until Finn comes sprinting into the living room, arms spread wide like an airplane, skidding to a stop right in front of Joey’s legs.
Finn stares up at him, wide-eyed. “Mom says you play hockey.”
Joey, crouching to Finn’s level, nods. “That’s right, bud.”
Finn narrows his eyes. “Are you good?”
Joey laughs, glancing at you. “I like to think so.”
Finn’s head tilts. “Are you the one who stops the pucks?”
“Yep. I’m a goalie.”
Finn’s expression turns skeptical. “That’s a really big net.”
“Yeah, but I make it look small,” Joey grins.
Finn seems to consider this, then folds his arms. “Prove it.”
Your eyes widen. “Finn—”
But Joey is already on board, holding out a hand. “Alright, how about this? We grab a couple of socks, make a ball, and you try to score on me. If I stop it, you gotta call me the best goalie ever.”
Finn eyes him suspiciously before nodding. “Deal.”
Joey winks at you before following Finn to the hallway, where the impromptu game begins. You lean against the counter, arms crossed, watching as Finn lets out exaggerated commentary about his own skills while Joey plays along, blocking each shot with ease.
Finn, ever competitive, tries harder, but Joey anticipates every move. Finally, Finn huffs, hands on his hips. “Okay. You’re kinda good.”
Joey grins. “Only kinda?”
Finn squints at him before conceding. “Fine. Best goalie ever.”
You shake your head, hiding a smile. Joey catches your eye and winks. And just like that, he’s in.
Joey eases into Finn’s life like he was always meant to be there.
At first, it’s small things — watching cartoons together, answering Finn’s endless questions about hockey, letting him steal his Leafs beanie even though it keeps slipping down over his eyes.
But then it turns into real things — taking Finn home from daycare, carrying him on his shoulders when he gets too tired to walk, knowing exactly how to soothe him after a bad dream.
And Finn? He adores him.
It’s easy to see in the way he lights up whenever Joey walks into the room, the way he tugs Joey’s sleeve at dinner to show him the “coolest dinosaur ever” on his placemat, the way he demands that Joey helps with bedtime stories because “he does the voices better.”
One night, you find them on the couch, Finn curled up in Joey’s lap, completely knocked out. Joey meets your eyes over the top of Finn’s head, his hand rubbing small circles on Finn’s back.
“Guess he likes me,” Joey murmurs.
You swallow past the lump in your throat, brushing a hand over Finn’s messy curls. “Yeah. He really does.”
Joey doesn’t say anything, just presses a soft kiss to Finn’s head before settling back against the cushions. And something in your heart clicks into place.
One afternoon, Finn storms into the kitchen, frustration written all over his tiny face.
“Mom,” he declares, arms crossed. “I don’t like that my last name is different than Joey’s.”
You nearly drop the plate you’re holding. “Oh.”
Joey, who had just walked in behind Finn, pauses. “What brought this on, bud?”
Finn turns to him, serious. “Jack said only real dads help with homework. And you always help me. So you should be my real dad.”
Silence hangs heavy in the air. You glance at Joey, unsure of what to say, but his expression is soft, careful.
“Well,” Joey kneels down, resting a gentle hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Family isn’t just about names, you know. I don’t have to be your real dad to love you like one.”
Finn frowns. “But I want you to be.”
Your heart clenches. Joey’s lips press together for a moment before he cups the back of Finn’s head. “No matter what, I’m always going to be here for you, okay? Names don’t change that.”
Finn studies him for a second, then seems satisfied. He nods, then reaches for Joey’s hand, tugging him toward the living room. “Okay. Can we play mini sticks now?”
Joey glances at you. You nod, offering him a smile, and he squeezes Finn’s hand. “Of course, bud.”
You watch them go, warmth spreading through your chest.
The first time Finn calls Joey “Dad” it’s completely accidental.
You’re in the kitchen, clearing up dinner plates, when Finn runs in, face bright with excitement.
“Dad, can we play mini sticks?”
Joey freezes. You do too. Finn, oblivious, just looks up at him expectantly.
Joey recovers first, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, buddy. Go grab your stick.”
Finn takes off down the hall. You and Joey stare at each other. Your heart is in your throat.
“Did you hear that?” Joey’s voice is quiet, careful.
You nod. “Yeah.”
He hesitates. “Are you okay with it?”
You swallow, stepping closer. “Are you?”
His expression softens, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “More than okay.”
That’s all you need to hear.
From that day on, Joey is Dad. Maybe not by blood, but in every way that matters.
And when Finn, half-asleep one night, mumbles, “Love you, Dad,” Joey’s voice wavers just a little when he whispers, “Love you too, buddy.”
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I need to be youthfully felt 'cause god I've never felt young
summary: Sidney Crosby is simply… tired. Of everything. That's how he found himself at a seedy dive bar, drinking his misery away. Then enters Jade Watkins. She offers an escape from the scrutiny, the pressure, the fear, and soon Sidney finds himself falling for the girl who saved him just in time. But does he truly love her? Or does he just love the way she makes him feel?
a/n: This fic was originally written as a reader insert for the Winter Fic Exchange two years ago. But I thought the story would work as an OC fic. The original is still on my blog so you can pick your own adventure so to speak. Not much has changed plot-wise but I think I might love this one more. Feel free to read this one and the original and see how you feel!
song inspo: Jackie and Wilson by Hozier
word count: 11.2k
warnings: hinted intimacy (non-explicit), language, resolved angst, and pregnancy at the very end
When people ask which places Sidney Crosby frequents in the large city of Pittsburgh, the answer is not a seedy little downtown bar. That was not the kind of place anyone would expect to find the Penguins captain. It was not a place for someone like him.
But there he was, sitting in a cracked leather booth on a warm May night. What was he doing here? Well… it was the perfect place to disappear. And that’s what Sidney wanted to do, at least for a little while.
Last season had been rough, on everyone. The injuries, the conflicts, the losses, and the constant scrutiny. Despite all of that, the team managed to fight their way up the standings, the race to the playoffs the closest it had been in years. Sid thought that maybe that turn-around, that fight, would be enough for the hungry fans that wanted nothing more than to see success. But he should have known that unless the season ended with a silver trophy, it would never be enough. And unfortunately, the Penguins lost their playoff spot by the barest of margins. And the fans were left with a bitter taste in their mouths instead of a satisfying ending.
Usually, Sidney would’ve shared their hunger and wouldn’t have felt satiated until his arms felt the weight of that 30-pound chalice. But now… he just felt tired.
Tired of living up to that impossible expectation that others held him to. Tired of the eyes that constantly turned to him and analyzed him whenever something went wrong. Tired of the whispers, the criticism that he never seemed to be able to escape.
Was Sidney Crosby losing his touch? Will one too many injuries end this once great hockey player’s career? Should he hang up his skates and let the club move onto to brighter futures? How much time does Sidney Crosby have left?
Those statements and worse had been floating around him for the past few years but he never let them break in. Instead, he used them as fuel to prove the nay-sayers wrong. But this year, the scrutiny felt worse than it ever had before and instead of the words motivating him, they crumbled the walls that he had built. They broke him down and that made him angry.
He gave everything to hockey. He gave up so much of his childhood, his adolescence, his youth, his life, to this sport, this city, to those fans. How much more did he need to prove himself? How much more would people demand of him? How much more would he be forced to give?
Doubtful, resentful, tired Sidney Crosby. The once great player of the National Hockey League.
That was how he felt and part of him didn’t want to pretend to be anything else tonight. And he assumes that’s how he found himself here.
He couldn’t remember the name of the bar where he currently sat. All he knew was this was the last place people would come looking for him. This was not a place to sight a celebrity. This was a place for drifters, rejects, people who had given up on their lives or didn’t care enough to try. It felt like a place that was stuck in the past; the smell of old beer and cigarette smoke, the dim lighting courtesy of dust accumulated through years of indifference.
Sidney sits in a booth in the back corner, the cracked leather digging into the back of his thighs. His hand casually wraps around the beer bottle in front of him, gently spinning it, feeling it resist as the glass clings to the stickiness of spilled alcohol lingering on the wood.
This place is not bright, it’s not shiny. It’s a place where this beaten, broken down version of himself could simply exist, baseball cap pulled low because even though this was the exact opposite of where he should be, that didn’t stop some patron’s eyes from lingering on him a little too long. But no one approached him. Maybe they could read it, feel his energy, understand that he did not want to be bothered. And for that, he was thankful. He couldn’t pretend to be the person everyone expected him to be, even from people who may have expected nothing.
He brings the bottle up to his lips, letting the lukewarm amber liquid fall into his mouth, trickling down his throat. He doesn’t let it drop until the last of the beer vanishes and he places the empty glass back with a resounding thud, pushing it so it clinks against the two other bottles abandoned on the table. He flags the bartender down, silently requesting another. He knows he shouldn’t but the fact that he shouldn’t is the very reason why he does. He’s making a choice that feels good for him, in this very moment. Damn the consequences.
A few moments and another clink echoes around him as the bartender delivers the next bottle and Sid hands them another bill, elegantly folded between his outstretched fingers, a token of discretion for both him and the worker, if they think of running their mouth. The bartender takes the money from him and moves back to their spot behind the bar-top and the seemingly pointless job of wiping down the counter.
Sid quickly peeks at his watch, checking the time. 11:52. Almost midnight. He resigns himself to this, his last drink, and he slowly sips from the bottle’s lips. The walk back to his car still parked outside PPG will give him time to sober up. The night is still warm and this way, he won’t have to worry about hustling an Uber, another potential leak that might gab about a Crosby that seemingly sunk so low. He’s about to take the last swig and leave until the creak of the front door alerts him to someone else entering the bar.
He doesn’t really intend to look. But there is some inexplicable force that calls him to. And that’s when he sees her.
She walks in, the breeze following her from outside, ruffling her long black hair and lightly fluttering the edge of the red plaid shirt adorning her body. Sidney watches as her eyes scan over the dimly lit bar and he subconsciously feels himself lift up, as if he wanted to catch her attention. He quickly deflates when those eyes simply pass over him, as if he was just another patron.
He watches as she waltzes to the bar, leaning forward and places her elbows on the wood. He hears a few muttered words to the bartender and based on her hushed conversation and body language, he realizes that this bar was a place she frequented. She was not a girl who got lost after a night out with her friends, who just happened to wander into the closest bar. No, she was familiar with this place. It perplexed him. One look at her and Sid knew that she didn’t belong here.
But not in the same way as him.
Sidney Crosby in a bar like this the equivalent of a shiny new penny that catches your eye when you see it at the bottom of a dingy fountain and wonder how it even came to be there. But her…
He couldn’t quite describe it. There was something about her; her energy, the way she carried herself. It was as if she was a creature who willingly walked into the darkest part of the forest and yet showed no fear. As if she knew she didn’t belong here, but didn’t care. Because it wasn’t that her that needed to figure out how to exist in this place. It was this place that needed to learn how to handle her.
Sidney was captivated.
And yet, when she spins on the bar stool, an Old Fashioned in hand, those eyes moving to once again gaze over the patrons of the bar, Sidney finds himself looking away, his own eyes jumping back to memorize the ridges on the mouth of his beer bottle. He didn’t know what made him look away, what made him shrink down, especially when he was vying for her attention when she first walked in. But whatever the reason, he was content to stay that way until he knew she was gone.
The last thing he expected was the crackle of dried leather shifting underneath someone else’s weight, sitting down across from him. And her green eyes staring back at him when he looked up.
“Never expected to run into a celebrity here,” she muses out loud, those eyes shamelessly looking him up and down. Sidney’s eyes tear away, ducking back down, hoping his baseball cap hid the way his cheeks turned pink.
The laughter that escapes her lips is intoxicating and Sidney feels his cheeks warm even more when he realizes she was laughing at him.
“Don’t worry, superstar,” she says, eyes moving to peruse the nearly empty bar once more. “I won’t tell anyone that you were here. I know the look of someone who wants to hide.”
Sidney’s eyes jump back up to her at her words and he can tell that she was willfully ignoring his puzzling gaze.
“You don’t look like someone who hides anything,” Sidney says, the words falling from his mouth before he can think them through and he feels himself blush again as she laughs.
“Is that your go-to line? If so, it needs some work.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that… I mean, you – “Sidney stumbles over his words and she giggles again at his attempts to rectify his words.
“You know,” she says, gently interrupting him, “I expected you to be more articulate, y’know, being an NHL captain and all. But then again,” she continues as she notices his jaw clench at her words, “you’re here. So maybe there’s more to you than what everyone thinks.”
Sidney’s mouth drops open, shocked at how easily she was able to read him. How she managed to see him, truly see him. He watches as she turns back towards him and suppresses the shudder that wants to run through him as her knees knock against his underneath the table.
“So, tell me superstar,” she says, the teasing lilt in her voice clear, “why are you here?”
“You’re really beautiful,” Sidney says, the words once again being spoken before he thinks them over and her laughter falls over him in a gentle wave. He feels heat threatening to rise to his cheeks once more but he also feels his lips pull into a smile, a gentle chuckle rumbling through him as well.
“That was a much better pick-up line than before. Glad to see improvement.”
“And who says I was trying to pick you up?” Sidney replies and her eyebrows shoot up as she glances at him. He shoots a gentle smile back and it takes a moment before she realizes he is teasing her as much as she was him. She smirks back at him, slightly shrugging her shoulders.
“Fair enough.”
Sidney watches as she lifts her glass to her lips, eyes dancing away from him. As her gaze falls from him, Sidney is struck with the thought that he would do anything to get her eyes on him again. And as if she can hear his thoughts, she looks back to him.
“Let’s make a deal then,” she says, a bright glint in her eyes. “No more assumptions. At least, for the rest of the night. Deal?” She reaches out to him and he can’t help but look at the offered hand, decked out in rings and chipped nail polish.
“Deal,” he says and he reaches out his own hand to gently clasp hers, the callouses on his palms and fingers built up after years and years, sliding against her smooth skin. He shakes her hand before pulling away. What he didn’t expect was the feeling of disappointment that ran through him when his hand fell from hers.
“Well, now that we got that out of the way,” she starts, breaking the silence that lay heavily between the two, “you still didn’t answer my original question. What are you doing here, superstar?”
“I’m not sure,” Sidney answers, shrugging his shoulders.
“Bullshit.”
“I thought we agreed no assumptions?” he shoots back and she can’t stop the smile that appears.
“I don’t think that’s an assumption. There must be some reason, something that brought you here. I mean, this isn’t really a place for anyone, let alone someone like you.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“Not happening, superstar. I’m not showing you mine until you show me yours.”
“Well, that seems a little like extortion,” Sidney replies, laughing at her smirk and the way she rolls her eyes at him.
“That would be coercion, not extortion. I would have to demand money from you for it to be extortion. So, unless you’re willing to pay money to learn my life story, then you’ll just have to keep wondering.”
“Oh, so now you are extorting me.” She laughs, gently shaking her head and Sidney watches and wishes there was a way he could hear that laughter forever.
“I suppose I am,” she sighs, twiddling the rings on your fingers. The silence falls as she takes another sip of her drink before she speaks again. “I’m here because I used to know the owner.”
“Used to know?”
“Yeah. Used to. He’s not around anymore. Left me with only this bar to remember him by,” she explains. Her explanation was vague enough to not reveal the entire story was but the way her voice quieted, the way that her eyes went unfocused, makes Sidney realize that was all there was to say. She sighs, blinking a couple of times before focusing back onto him.
“Alright superstar. There’s my reason. Why are you here?”
“I wanted to be in a place where no one would recognize me,” he says and he slightly chuckles when he sees the smile appear on her face. “I guess I didn’t do very well.”
“No, you really didn’t. But I suppose there isn’t a lot of places where the great Sidney Crosby can hide.”
“You have no idea,” he sighs, tearing his eyes away. It is a moment before he looks back at her and he is shocked to see a glimmer of understanding sadness in her expression.
Suppose they both were trying and failing to get away from the things that haunted them. And so, they sit, simply existing in this place where neither of them should be.
“Well,” she speaks, breaking the silence once more, “I suppose I’m not really helping you disappear. Guess I’ll see you around superstar.”
She kicks her legs out from underneath the table, scooting across the cracked leather, hand wrapped around the glass as she starts to leave. But before she can lift herself up from the booth, Sidney reaches out to her, his strong calloused hand wrapping around her wrist.
“Um,” is the first syllable out of Sidney’s mouth and his cheeks heat again as he sees the smile that pulls at her lips. “You don’t have to leave. I mean, it’s kind of nice talking to you. And besides,” he says, a crooked smirk appearing, “you haven’t successfully extorted me yet.”
“It’s not really extortion if you agree to it, you know.”
“Then just call it a date,” Sidney replies and he can see that she is slightly taken aback at his casual words.
“What exactly are you offering me, superstar? Are you gonna pick me up in a nice tux and take me to a fancy romantic restaurant, with roses and wine and then drive me home and leave me with a polite kiss on the cheek?”
“I thought we agreed no assumptions?” he says but he knows that she can see the light pink tinge on his cheeks and can easily guess that that was exactly what he was thinking.
“It wasn’t an assumption. It was a… prediction,” she shoots back, settling back down in the booth, fingers dancing over the glass of her Old Fashioned. “But hey, if I’m wrong, tell me now.”
Sidney sits there in silence, his hand wrapping around his bottle as he takes another swig of beer. He couldn’t respond to her challenge because it was true. And he hated that she could see right through him so easily. Or maybe he loved that within a few short moments of meeting him, she managed to laugh her way to the truth of him, break through all the people that he pretended to be.
He wasn’t quite sure which feeling was real. All he knew for certain is that he wanted more.
“Well,” he clears his throat, his eyes jumping back to hers. “What were you thinking of?”
Her fingers continue to circle the rim of her glass, her head tilting and gaze drifting away from him as she thinks. Then her eyes reattach to his and – with what Sidney could only describe as one of the most wicked smiles that he had seen – she plucks the cherry garnish from her drink. Sidney can’t take his eyes off of her as she drops the entire fruit into her mouth. He watches as she sits there for a moment, the red juice lingering on her lips and he would give anything to kiss the sour-sweet off. Her lips part and she plucks the cherry stem from in between her teeth, tossing it over the table. Sidney glances down and notices the perfect knot in the center. His eyes jump back up to her, that fucking grin still on her face.
“What do you say we just get out of here?”
~*~*~*~*~*~
The soft morning sunlight filters through the windows, dancing across Sidney’s face. And when his eyelids finally fluttered open, the first sight he was met with was a cluttered nightstand. His gaze dances over the candles, plants, and rings that littered the wood – the opposite of the clean and sleek table that sits beside his own bed. But then again, he wasn’t in his bed.
Sidney glances down and sees Jade curled up in his arms, her back against his chest, breaths falling softly. She had whispered her name to him last night, on the way to her apartment where he currently resided.
Last night was… he didn’t think he could describe it.
When she made her bold offer, there was a part of Sidney that wasn’t sure if he should agree. But there was something about her, something so unfathomable that Sidney couldn’t stop the pull of her gravity. And in that moment, he silenced the critical voice in his head and said yes.
It wasn’t supposed to mean anything. He was supposed to chalk it up as a little too much to drink, a lapse in judgement. But then she kissed him.
And Sidney realized that he never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.
Last night, he felt alive. Jade had kissed him without pretense, without presumption. Her lips danced across his skin, counting every scar, leaving no inch untouched. She breathed life into the hollows of his neck, the ridges of his ribs and he was caught in the thrill of someone who willingly brought him to his knees. She surprised him, challenged him. He hadn’t felt that way in a long time.
But then again, he never met someone like her before.
A heavy sigh sounds from her and Sidney is startled out of his daydream, back to the present moment. Jade nestles deeper into the rumpled sheets, another sigh escaping her. Sidney’s arms impulsively tighten around her frame, pulling her closer, loving the way her skin felt against his. What he wouldn’t give to stay in this bed, forgetting about the world waiting for him outside.
But one glance at the alarm clock perched on the nightstand told him that he couldn’t.
The great Sidney Crosby had things to do.
With a defeated breath, Sidney presses a small kiss into her ruffled hair before carefully untangling himself from her grasp. He crawls out of the bed, picking up his clothes scattered on the floor where they fell the night before. As he gets redressed, Sidney lets his eyes jump around the room, as he tried to discern Jade’s story from the pictures on the walls, the books on the shelves, the knick-knacks decorating every free space. He wasn’t prying; that would be considered rude. But he wanted to know more about the woman that he shared a bed with. Wanted to see if he could understand the power she held over him.
He's leaning in close to a picture hung on the wall at the foot of the bed, his hand clasped behind him when he hears a small laugh echo around the room. He quickly spins around, a blush instantly rising to his cheeks. His eyes land on Jade, propped up on her elbows, the sheets clinging to her body.
“Are you spying on me superstar?” she asks and Sidney is relieved to hear the teasing lilt in the question. He can’t help but respond with a small smile of his own.
“Wasn’t my intention,” he replies, walking back towards her.
“Oh really? And what exactly was your intention?” she laughs as Sidney settles himself on the edge of the bed, the mattress slightly sinking underneath his weight.
“Just trying to figure out a mystery.”
“What mystery is that?”
“You,” he says softly, his gentle eyes dancing over her face, smiling as he watches her own smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
Jade lifts herself off the mattress, sitting up completely and leaning in closer to him. Her chin comes to find a perch on his shoulder and she leans her cheek against him, breathing in the lingering cologne from his t-shirt. Sidney lets her rest there for a moment, choosing not to move away and instead watch as the rising sun paints the apartment golden.
“Keep wondering,” she whispers into the morning air. She turns her head to look up at him, a smirk painted onto her face as his eyes connect to hers. The sunlight catches her irises, setting the green alight. He watches as her gaze jumps from his eyes to his lips and back again but he doesn’t call her out on it because he knows his eyes are doing the exact same thing.
Sidney is the one to break first, leaning in to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. He can hear her breath catch in her throat and part of him hopes she can understand the emotion behind his actions. How he is worshipping her without words. Her hands find their way up into his hair, fingers tangling into the peppered grey at his temples. Jade falls back down against the sheets, dragging Sidney down with her. He groans into the kiss, his arms caging her to the bed. But she didn’t seem to mind.
He breaks apart, leaving her to chase after his lips as his body retreats. A small chuckle rumbles from Sidney’s chest and Jade playfully glares up at him.
“I have to go,” he says, breaking the silence, a part of him aching as he watches her expression falter. He steels himself as he rises off the bed, moving towards the door, his hand wrapping around the door handle. But before he turns it, he looks back towards Jade, feeling her eyes still attached his frame.
“Am I going to see you again?”
“Only if you want to,” she teases and Sidney can’t stop the crooked smile from appearing on his face, eyes ducking down at her gentle prodding.
“I do,” he says, biting his lip and glancing back up at you. “Could I get your number? Or do you want mine?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jade laughs, Sidney’s expression shifting to one of confusion. She smiles back at him before continuing. “I’m sure it’ll be easy to find you in this city.”
Sidney laughs, happily falling back into the verbal tennis match that made him so drawn to her. He turns back towards the door, opening it gently and stepping over the threshold.
“Well then, I guess I’ll see you around,” he says, not hiding the hopeful rise in his voice.
“Catch you later, superstar.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Days passed and Sidney still hadn’t heard from Jade. Or even seen her.
Every time he walked down the Pittsburgh streets, he hoped that he’d run into her; maybe coming out of the bustling farmers market or even on the street outside of PPG Arena. He had even entertained the thought of going back to the bar where they met in the hopes that she’d be there. But he never did.
She said that she would find him but every day that went by without a trace of her, Sidney’s hopes dimmed. And as time ticked by, an insidious thought entered Sidney’s mind; maybe she did this on purpose.
Maybe this was the way she operated, part of how she moved through life. Blew in out of nowhere, entered his world and turned it upside down, and then disappeared as quickly as she came.
Sidney didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to believe that he would never see her again. There was something about her; he felt it from the moment she walked into that bar. Something that he wanted to continue to explore. Jade was fascinating and wild and free. She made Sidney feel young again, even in that one night. And that wasn’t something he had felt in a very long time.
Sidney has had eyes on him since he was a child. He was taught how to behave, how to act, how to be that good guy, on the ice but especially off the ice because his image was so closely tied with his success. People can hate you as much as they want for how you play, but if their only complaint is your skills and not your character, there is nothing they can take away from you.
It wasn’t that he hated it. He was thankful for everything that hockey brought him; family, friendship, and more prosperity than he knew what to do with. But part of him never felt like he got to be a kid.
He knew he could never go back and re-live that part of his life. But Jade… she made him feel youthful. And God, what he wouldn’t give to feel like that again.
These were the thoughts that were rattling around in his head as he walks down the Pittsburgh streets, the sun warming his back. He wasn’t sure of his destination or if he even had a destination. All he knew was that he needed the space, needed to take a moment to breathe. He keeps his head down, eyes focused on the concrete sidewalk, letting the cars speed past him. He doesn’t take note of anything around him which means he doesn’t notice the car that pulls up behind him.
“Hey there, stranger!” a voice calls out to him. He turns and there she is – Jade, sitting behind the wheel of a beautiful vintage convertible.
Her sunglasses are perched on the end of her nose, those green eyes playfully looking over the edge at him and he can’t help the smile that appears on his lips at the sight of her.
“Hey,” he says casually, turning towards her and walking over. He reaches the passenger door and leans against the side. “I thought you disappeared.”
“Oh, so you’ve been thinking about me?”
“Only every day,” Sidney coolly replies and she laughs at his words. And the way her laughter rings through the late noon has Sidney’s heart ringing with it.
“You know, your pick-up lines are improving every time we talk.”
“You’re a good influence on me, I suppose.”
“Ugh, there you go again Sidney Crosby,” she says, dramatically throwing her hand on her chest. “You know the way right to a girl’s heart!”
A warm chuckle rumbles through Sidney, his head slightly shaking at her antics. Her smile never leaves her face and he returns the grin as she takes him in; his warm skin, the bright sun lighting up his hair, his body calm and relaxed against her car.
“So,” Sidney starts, “what have you been up to?”
“Not much. Just looking for you,” Jade replies, shooting him that dazzling smile before kicking off the parking brake, shifting the car to drive. “Hop in.”
Sidney takes a step back, a little shocked by her sudden request. She shoots a glance back towards him and he knows that she has seen the shift in his demeanor. The smooth and relaxed guy that was there a second ago had disappeared. In his place was the closed-off Sidney Crosby that people were used to.
“Um” Sidney hesitates, his uncertainty the only thing he could speak.
“Come on, you know I’m not some crazy stalker,” she laughs. Her words don’t work as Sidney stays in his place. Jade sighs, shifting the car and placing the parking brake back on.
“What’s up?”
“I’m just not sure this is the best idea.”
“Was it a good idea for you to get drunk in a downtown bar a week ago?” she shoots back at him. Sidney knows she has him with those words because it wasn’t. But that’s exactly where she found him.
“C’mon superstar,” Jade says, her voice softening but still holding that teasing energy that drew him to her in the first place. “Don’t think about what anyone else would think. Do what your heart tells you to do. And if that’s walking away right now, then I’ll respect that. But I have a feeling that’s not the case.”
Sidney looks back at her, leaning back in the driver’s seat, that smile on her lips. How she was able to see through him so easily, after spending a single night with him, he’ll never know. But he knew for certain that he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to how he felt when he was with her.
And before he could talk himself out of it, before he could let those voices in his head decide for him, he was tugging on the door handle and sliding himself onto the warm leather of the passenger’s seat.
Jade’s only reply to his actions is a bright smirk shot in his direction before she once again shifts the car to drive and pulls away from the curb and onto the Pittsburgh streets.
Sidney looks out, watching as the buildings and other cars pass by. Sometimes, when stopped at a traffic light, he thinks he notices people on the sidewalks or in the neighboring cars do a double take in his direction. He instinctively ducks or turns his head away, never wanting to draw attention to himself. But it doesn’t fully work.
A car speeds pass, horn honking and Jade and Sidney look up as a few boys lean out of the window.
“Hell yeah Sidney!!!” their shouts echo as they drive away and Sidney gives them a polite wave. Jade’s head turns towards him and an involuntary giggle falling from her lips at his chagrined expression.
“That’s got to be annoying,” she says, turning her attention back towards the road.
“I don’t mind it,” Sidney replies, his somewhat practiced words falling from his lips.
“Bullshit.”
Sidney’s eyes jump to Jade, her serious yet relaxed face turned towards the road. She releases a sigh as she senses his eyes on her. Without looking at him, she continues.
“C’mon superstar. Part of you must want to live your life without all the eyes of Pittsburgh on you.”
Sidney doesn’t reply, instead choosing to turn his head back to look at the passing scenery. He didn’t want to admit it but she was right. There were moments in his life that he wondered what it would be like if he was not Pittsburgh Penguin Captain #87, the great Sidney Crosby, one of the best NHL players and he was simply… Sidney.
There she was, once again reading him like the well-worn pages of old book.
The silence weighs heavily, a stark contrast to the spring breeze that rustled through the air. Jade shoots a quick glance in Sidney’s direction and find him still turned away.
“Look, I’m sorry. That was presumptuous on my part,” she says, eyes returning to the road stretched out ahead. Sidney’s face turns back to look at her, watches as her hands tighten around the steering wheel, reading the anxiety that coiled in her body.
“I thought we agreed no assumptions?” he jokes, echoing the words from the first night they met. Jade laughs, the noise immediately lifting the fog from between them.
“Yes. Yes, we did.”
She continues to turn down the busy streets and Sidney lets himself relax back into the present moment. He watches as Jade glances up at the traffic signs before a smirk appears on her face. It stays on her lips as she turns to connect her eyes with Sidney.
“Do you want to get out of this town?”
Even though her eyes are obscured by her tinted sunglasses, Sidney knows that bright mischievous energy is sure to be sparkling in those green eyes, the look that pulled him to her that very first night. Without thinking, he nods in agreement. Her grin widens as she turns onto the highway that leads out of the heart of Pittsburgh.
They zip down the interstate, the wind ruffling Jade’s hair as they drive further out of the city. She glances back at Sidney and smiles as she sees him relaxed against the passenger seat, his energy seemingly calmer, his chest rising and falling, breathing in the fresh air, the smile never leaving his face.
Eventually, Sidney turns his eyes back to Jade and watches her in the same way.
Part of him felt like he was running away; running from his problems and his worries. However, he knew that if he ever did decide to run away from his troubles, that also meant running away from the things that meant the most; friends, his career, his success. But right now, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Because deep down he knew he would run from anything if it meant running with her.
He watches as Jade reaches down to turn on the radio, scanning until she lands on a station playing some old classic rock and leans back, letting the music dance through the light breeze. Her lips start to move, quietly mouthing along to the lyrics as the world races by. Over the noise of the breeze, traffic, and music, it takes her a minute to register a different voice accompanying the radio. Jade peeks over to see Sidney singing along to the music, his hands tapping a rhythm onto the passenger side door. With a smile, she reaches again and turns the music up, looking back at Sidney with a grin.
“Oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on,” she joins in, the grin never leaving her as her eyes goad Sidney on. Sidney reads her challenge and continues singing, his volume increasing.
“Strangers waitin’ up and down the boulevard their shadows searchin’ in the night.”
“Streetlights, people. Livin’ just to find emotion.”
“Hidin’ somewhere in the night!” Sidney leans his head back, hitting that high note, causing another bought of laughter to fall from Jade’s lips. He looks back to her, the smile dancing across his lips as he watches; her head throw back, her child-like laughter cascading through the air. And that feeling hit him again; that feeling of youth and freedom.
Sidney didn’t have to pretend to be anyone with her. He could simply be.
They continue down the road, singing and laughing as the world passes by. After what seems like hours, Jade turns off the highway, taking an exit that Sidney didn’t recognize.
“Where are we going?” he questions, looking back as the crowded turnpike disappears behind him.
“No place special.”
Sidney doesn’t feel like prying so he remains silent and lets Jade move along the small desolate roads. Throughout the drive, he constantly looks back at her, watching as she confidently turns down side streets, as if she had followed this path a hundred times. Another part of the mystery of her.
Jade drives onto a dirt road, passing a worn wooden sign that Sidney can barely read and follows the path up a small hill until she parks at the edge of a lookout. He watches as she hops out and walks to the front of the car, leaning against the hood. It takes a few seconds until Sidney is following, finding his place in the empty space next to her. He looks out onto the scenery and it taken aback.
Jade had brought him to a lake, the trees crowding the edges, the water gently sloshing against the shore. The sun shined down on the scene, making the water below sparkle. His eyes couldn’t stay still as he took in everything around him: the sugar-spun clouds, the towering oak trees, the groups of dandelions that line the edge of the hill. He stays silent as he sits next to Jade, letting the only noise be the rustling of the leaves around him and the quiet birdsong.
A few moments pass before Sidney looks back at her and feels his heart leap. She is staring out over the scenery, the wind ruffling the edges of her shirt, the pale blue sky reflected in her eyes. There is nothing special about how she looked and he loved that. She wasn’t performing for him or for anyone. She simply existed.
Sidney watches as she lifts herself up off the car and wanders to the edge of the lookout, the sunlight tracing her frame. Crouching down, she plucks some of the dandelions from the grass, lifting them up and letting the bright yellow flowers wiggle in her grasp.
“Do you like dandelions?” she asks, her eyes never departing from the task at hand.
“I never thought about it,” Sidney answers truthfully.
“I think they’re lovely,” she softly says, her fingertips tracing the golden petals.
“But they’re just weeds, right?”
A breathy laugh falls from her lips as she straightens herself up, the flowers still held in her grasp. She wanders over to Sidney, slotting herself between his parted thighs. Sidney can feel his breath catch in his throat as she leans towards him, pulling a dandelion from the small bouquet.
“And who says weeds aren’t lovely?” she whispers to him, gently placing the flower behind his ear and he can’t suppress the shiver that runs through him at the feeling of the petals against his skin and her fingers tracing down the back of his neck.
“So beautiful and so stubbornly alive.”
Her gentle words are enough for Sidney to lean in, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. She sighs against his lips, her arms absentmindedly wrapping around his shoulders as his hands find their place on her hips, pulling her closer. The kiss deepens as Sidney is pulls her down, her body draped over him as his back rests against the warm metal of the hood. Jade finally breaks away, departing breathless above Sidney. Sidney looks up at her, his hazel eyes warm as he lifts his hand, coming to cradle her cheek, his thumb gently tracing over the smooth skin.
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he murmurs.
Jade pauses and Sidney swears the world stops as his confession lingers in the late May air. Sidney keeps his breathing strong and steady underneath Jade as he waits for her response. The glimmering hope in his eyes falter as a laugh from her lips instead of the words he hopes to hear.
“So rational, Sidney. Falling for a woman you just met,” she says, voice light and dismissive. Sidney’s eyebrows furrow at the shift in her energy, watching as she lifts herself up, pushing her body away from him and off the car. She returns to her spot next to him on the edge of the hood, eyes returning to overlook the scenery in front of her.
“You barely know me.”
Sidney knows that she can feel his eyes on her but she doesn’t turn around. He reaches his arm out towards her and can feel the shiver that runs through her as his fingers graze over her hips.
“I want to.”
Those gentle words are what causes her to finally turn back to him, her eyes connecting to his. The look on his face is so truthful, so earnest. A small smile appears on her lips and Sidney lets out a breath of relief that he didn’t know he was holding.
“Is that your best pick-up line?” she quips.
“As long as it works,” Sidney teases back, wanting to keep the light-hearted energy between the two of them flowing. She laughs that brilliant beautiful laugh that captured him that first night and lifts herself up off the car. She extends a hand out to him which he gladly takes, lifting himself up before moving closer to her, his arms wrapping around her waist once more.
This time it is Jade who makes the first move, lifting herself up to connect her lips to his. They stand there, entangled in each other’s arms, the sunlight warming their bodies. And Sidney feels instantly lighter when she finally breaks away.
“Come on, superstar,” she says, peeling away from him. “Let’s get you home.”
She hops back in the car, Sidney following close behind, before retracing the path back to the bright lights of the now dark Pittsburgh streets. And when Jade pulls her car up outside Sidney’s house in his affluent neighborhood, it takes everything in him not to invite her inside.
But Sidney still has a smile on his face as he opens the front door and turns to watch her car disappear around the corner. Because in his pocket is a dandelion along with an old receipt, with her phone number hastily scrawled on the back.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The months that Sidney shares with Jade pass in a blur. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t rushed. It was just how it felt; a swift stumble into a romance that felt as soft as summer and as gentle as the setting sun. It felt like something out of a movie: a romance filled with honey and lemons – bright and sweet and wild.
Sidney was in constant awe of Jade; how she moved through the world, how fearless and unapologetic she was. He had never met anyone like her.
He had been everywhere, all over the country, all over the world. He had played in front of thousands of people, each one of them cheering his name. And he would trade it all, every experience, if he could be promised that he’d never have to live without hearing her soft voice whispering secrets in the golden-filled hours under white covers, eyelids heavy and the scent of magnolias drifting through the open windows.
There were moments when Sidney didn’t think she was real. That she was an apparition that he conjured up from one of his wildest dreams. But she was real and every moment he spent with her, he became more certain that she was made for him.
These were the thoughts where dancing through his head as he watches her move throughout his living room, her body lightly dancing to the tune she was humming underneath her breath. He sits on the couch, just watching her, his t-shirt hanging from her frame, the early afternoon sun dancing on her skin. She turns, a smile on her lips that Sidney shares. That bright laugh falls from Jade as she waltzes over him, her body coming to a stop between his outstretched thighs. Her hand reaches out, gently running through his hair, following a path down to his cheek, her touch bouncing between every freckle. She giggles as his lips kisses her fingertips each time they get too close to his lips.
Jade turns away from him and starts to exit the living room. But she stops in her tracks at the sound of Sidney’s voice.
“I love you.”
The world seems to stop when those words fall from his lips. He said it before, that day in May overlooking the lake. But it was a question back then, a hesitation. “I think I’m falling in love with you,” he said that day. And that one word, that uncertainty, held him back from the truth he knew. But now…
Jade turns around to see Sidney sitting there on the couch and when her eyes dance over his face, Sidney knows that she can see the honesty painted there. He was sure of his words and wanted her to believe him when he said it. He was in love with her; that much was certain. So, there he sat, still looking at her, silently praying that she would say the words in return.
Instead, it is a laugh that echoes around the room.
“That’s sweet superstar. Do you tell that to every wide-eyed girl you know?” she quips. Sidney’s eyebrows furrow as the confused replaces the certainty that used to be on his face.
“What are you saying?” he asked, his bewildered tone clear.
“What are you saying, Sidney? You love me?”
“Yes,” he replies without hesitation. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What do you mean ‘I don’t’?” Sidney questions as he lifts himself off the couch cushions, taking a small step towards her. He hears the light-hearted sigh she lets out as she turns away before his voice stops her again.
“Please, look at me.”
Jade turns back towards him, looking him in the eye.
“You don’t love me, Sidney. You don’t.”
“What does that mean?”
She scoffs, and the lack of explanation frustrates him, causing him to continue.
“No, tell me why you don’t think I love you. What have we been doing for the past few months? Just having fun?”
“Yes,” she snaps, “yes, Sidney that is exactly what we’ve been doing. That’s what this is; you looking for a distraction and me being the one to give you that.”
“Is that how you see us? Is that how you see me? That I’m just using you for… my own gain? How could you think that?”
“Because that’s what you’re doing Sidney,” she says with a venom in her voice that Sidney was entirely unaware existed. “Maybe you don’t realize it but that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying. I don’t understand why you would think that. When I met you that night in that bar, there was something. Something pulled me to you, I don’t know what it was, but there was something, you can’t deny that. And you found me. I don’t care if that sounds stupid or cliché but you found me at the right time and… and you saved me. I was drowning and you saved me.”
She scoffs again at his words and Sidney still can’t understand her reaction.
“You did,” he continues, his voice raising, taking on a pleading edge that he should’ve been ashamed of but he didn’t care. He wanted Jade to talk to him. “I felt like shit, I was angry and spiteful and tired. God, I was so fucking tired. And then you came along and you changed that. With everything you do; the way you laugh, your smile, your attitude. It was refreshing and freeing. You made me feel young and in love and I never felt like that before. And I do love you because of it.”
“My God, Sidney,” she yells, the damn finally breaking. “Do you even hear yourself? This – that – that’s exactly what I’m talking about.” She starts to pace around the room, the frustrated energy radiating off her in waves. “I’m not here to complete you or make you feel young or save you. That’s not my fucking job.”
As soon as those words escape her, Sidney realizes how he fucked up. He starts to open his mouth in an attempt to back-track, to tell her that he didn’t mean it that way. But before he can utter a single syllable, Jade cuts him off again.
“And that’s what I mean when I say that you are using me. I’m this girl who showed up at the right time and everything about me is fun and unique and wild and carefree. That’s who you want me to be, so I can fit into that pretty little narrative you created in your head. You don’t love me, Sidney. You love that woman, that idealized version that you made. But I’m not her. I’m not that girl.”
She sighs, energy spent as she collapse onto the armchair in the corner, eyes downcast.
“You look at me Sidney. But you don’t see me.”
Sidney shifts in place before moving over towards her. However, even though she could clearly hear his approach, Jade doesn’t lift her head as he kneels down, his warm palms coming to rest on her thighs.
“I do see you. I promise I do. There’s so many things about you that I love and –”
“Name one,” she says, those piercing green eyes locking with his. Sidney flinches when he sees the distance shining within her irises. “Name one thing you love about me that doesn’t benefit you.”
Her challenge hangs heavy in the air as Sidney open his mouth, leaving it gaping for a moment before closing it once more. And he can’t stop the small wince that pangs through him at the humorless laugh falls from her lips.
“That’s what I thought,” she sighs. “I’ve been there before. I’ve been with people like that before. I know you think you love me but you don’t. As soon as I show any vulnerability, anything that you can’t slap a pretty little filter over, anything that doesn’t fit into your daydream, you’ll wake up… and then you’ll leave. You’re going to tell me that you won’t, that you’re not like all the rest but…”
Her words trail off and Sidney wants to know why. He wants to know what he could say to her to prove that he was different. That he did love her, that he did want to be with her. That he would stay forever by her side.
He wanted to know why her heart was battered, beaten. How it had become like a scared animal backed into a corner, timid and mistrustful.
“I promised myself that I would never go through that again. I can’t,” she finishes, pushing his hands off of her as she lifts herself off the armchair. Sidney watches as she grabs her keys, walking to his front door, placing her hand on the handle, ready to walk out of Sidney’s life. But before she does, she looks back towards him, still kneeling on the ground, his hazel eyes locked on her frame.
“I’m sorry,” she says and Sidney isn’t quite sure what she is apologizing for. But those words feel as definitive as a goodbye. And those are the words she leaves him with as she walks out of his house.
Sidney stays there, watching as the door closes, the resounding click of the latch falling into place echoing through his home and only one thought similarly reverberating through his mind:
Where did he go wrong?
He thought she felt the same. No, he was certain that she felt the same way about him. Sidney was and could be many things but reckless with his emotions was never one of them. His head spun with the moments that he had shared with her throughout the months.
At first, he couldn’t think of any instance that he could confidently say that was the sign, the indication that she didn’t feel the same. But as he continued to think, as he pushed away that love-struck haze that covered those memories, he realized that there had been some moments; moments where she pulled away from him. She hid it well, with her laughter and jokes concealing a deeper meaning, a hurt that he never bothered to investigate more of.
Perhaps she was right. Perhaps he got too caught up in how she made him feel that he didn’t put in the effort to uncover who she really was.
But the more he thought about it, he realizes that he didn’t just sweep those moments under the rug, didn’t ignore them. He pushed as much as he thought he could, never wanting to overstep the boundaries that she had set. Sometimes he felt as if he got close but every time he felt that way, a wall he didn’t even notice separated him from her. It wasn’t easy. But Sidney knew that he would wait forever for Jade to tell him those stories that she kept under lock and key.
Yes, there were moments where things weren’t perfect, where he made mistakes, where communication fell flat. But part of him knew that those beautiful moments he shared with her, where he did truly see her, were enough to chase after her. Because there was no way that the past few months weren’t real.
The speed that Sidney grabs his coat and car keys is hectic to say the least but he knows that he can’t waste anymore seconds. There is a very real possibility that Jade would be lost to him forever, gone as fast as a midnight cigarette. He jumps into his car, making his way down the winding Pittsburgh streets to her apartment building. He is ready to scramble out and hit the buzzer of her apartment until she responds. That is, until he takes a quick look around the small parking lot and doesn’t see Jade’s vintage convertible anywhere.
A frustrated sigh escapes his chest as he takes out his phone, dialing Jade’s number but only getting her voicemail. His body slumps against the driver’s seat, a wave of defeat washing over him, a feeling that he didn’t want to accept. He closes his eyes as his brain desperately flips through his memories, trying to find something that could tell him where she might be.
Suddenly, a crystal-clear image pops into his mind; sunglasses perched on her nose, the wind whipping around her convertible, that wicked smile dancing on her lips, her voice light;
“Do you want to get out of this town?”
His eyes fly open as he kicks his car into reverse, driving back onto the streets. After a few minutes, Sidney is on the highway leaving downtown and bringing him closer to rural Pennsylvania and hopefully, closer to her.
Part of him worries that he’ll make a wrong turn somewhere, delaying him and potentially costing him his last opportunity to reach Jade. He didn’t have the exact map in his mind. She had only brought him there once, that day in May and he hadn’t taken the time to memorize the specific route. All he had to go on was the bare bones of his memory and the landscape and signs around him.
But it seemed the universe was on his side; the setting sun is guiding his path. He recognizes enough small landmarks, telling him that he was headed the right way and it wasn’t long until he found himself pulling up to that old wooden sign.
He turns onto the dirt road, following the path up that small hill, that outlook where Jade took him those months ago. There is a whisper of fear within him, scared that he would make it to the top and it would be empty. That she would be gone completely from his life and he would never be able to find her again. But then he turns that final corner.
And there her vintage convertible sits, parked on the top of the hill.
And there she sits, leaning against the hood, looking out at the sunset.
Sidney parks his car behind hers, letting the engine die and plunging the lakeside back into the almost silence of nature; the wind in the trees being the only sound.
Hopping out of the car, Sidney moves towards Jade, partially expecting her to turn back or acknowledge him in any way. She must have heard him, must have heard the car door and his feet crunching the gravel beneath him. But she doesn’t react; her eyes stay locked on the horizon. Even when Sidney reaches her, leaning the hood next to her. The silence hangs heavy until Sidney finally speaks.
“You hate the ends of garlic bread,” he says, his voice soft. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Jade’s head whip towards him, his words clearly not the ones that she was expecting. He doesn’t look in her direction though, instead choosing to stare into the same sunset that she was moments ago.
“You hum any song when you’re cooking or doing chores,” he continues, his voice sure and steady. “You will use anything as a bookmark. You always catch the spiders your apartment and release them instead of killing them. You put cinnamon sticks in your coffee. You always point out cows when you drive. You move around in your apartment just to make sure you’re always sitting in sunlight. You love gardening and want to have a yard so you can grow flowers and fruits and vegetables and herbs.”
He continues to list these things about her. And it’s not just the beautiful things; it’s the ugly, scared, vulnerable things he’s noticed too. He’s describing these moments, these little things that he doesn’t even know the meaning behind. But he notices them nevertheless. And finally, finally, he turns to look into Jade’s eyes. And he notices the way her breath catches when she sees the look of pure love shining in his.
“You were right. I did love the idea of you. I loved the way you made me feel. And I should’ve known – I should’ve known not to do that. Because that’s all everyone has ever done with me.”
He lets his confession hang in the air, letting his words sink in for a moment before he speaks again.
“Almost all my life, people had their ideas about who I should be. And I got so used to it, that I started believing that’s who I was. I made these masks that I could wear and change in order to always be the exact person that people expected. Then you came along. You didn’t expect me to be anyone but myself. You saw through all those feeble facades that I wore and you loved me for exactly who I was. And,” he pauses, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, as if to gather himself one final time, “I don’t want to go back to pretending for whoever comes next. Because I don’t want there to be anyone else. I only want you. The beautiful part and the ugly parts. Because that’s who I love. You.”
Sidney finishes his speech and lets the silence fall, lets his words drift away into the late summer breeze. His eyes stay locked onto hers, looking into those beautiful green eyes, watching the changing emotions flicker behind them as she takes in his confession. She finally breaks the connection, turning to look back at the sunset.
“I can’t be the one to make sure you stay that way, Sidney,” she says, reiterating that fear that kept him at arms-length throughout those months that they shared.
“You were never the one that made me become myself. You gave me permission to make that choice in a moment when I thought I didn’t have that option anymore.”
It’s another moment of stillness, another moment of simply existing in the same space. Until Jade finally moves, her hand reaching over the hood of the car towards Sidney. There is a second of hesitancy where her hand rests in the empty in the space between them.
Until finally, Sidney extends his own hand. And when his hand meets hers, fingers intertwining, the sigh falling from her lips, he knows that she can feel the warmth of his love. And along with it, the certainty that she was safe to fall.
Because he would always be there to catch her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Three Years Later
The click of the lock is a welcome sound, Sidney pushing the front door open to his new home. Or more accurately, their new home. The one he and Jade chose a year ago, shortly after their wedding. A place that would be uniquely theirs, a place where they could set down roots and build a home and a life after his retirement from hockey.
Sidney had announced his retirement at the beginning of this season, stating that it would be his last. There was a large amount of fanfare and an expectedly large amount of media attention throughout the regular season. When the Penguins hadn’t made it to the playoffs, he was upset. The narrative of his club winning one last Stanley Cup for him was a compelling one. But he didn’t let the loss sting him too much. He had three already, along with so many other awards and achievements and memories. Those were the things that he could hold onto.
He was confident that he would be able to let the game of hockey go. Because he had Jade.
Sidney walks deeper into the house, calling her name, his voice echoing off the walls. A silence greets him until he finally makes his way into the kitchen. And sees the open screen door leading to the backyard, the mellow sounds of R&B music floating into the house. After putting his things down on the kitchen island, he steps out onto the porch, his hazel eyes scanning over the yard.
The first thing Sidney notices is their dog Wilson laying in the middle of the yard, his chest rising and falling as he soaks in the April sunlight. Sidney’s eyes finally find Jade, sitting on her knees, crouched over one of the many flowerbeds he made for her. He watches as her hands pull out the creeping weeds, preparing for the coming spring. A few plastic pots of black irises sit next to her, their stalks gently swaying in the breeze as they patiently wait for her to nestle them in the dark soil.
Sidney makes his way across the yard, stopping to greet Wilson who is so content that he barely lifts his head in acknowledgement. He eventually reaches Jade, his body lowering to join her on the earth. The approach would’ve been silent, if it weren’t for the groan that rumbles from his chest as his knees protested.
“I’m getting too old for this,” he laughs, finally relaxing into kneeling position. Jade’s laugh dances on the breeze, her attention turning to him, the Pittsburgh Penguins baseball cap perched on her head, protecting her face from the sun.
“What’s the matter superstar? Retirement taking the wind from your sails?” she teases, sitting back on her heels as she wipes the dirt off her hands onto her worn out t-shirt. Sidney can’t help but smile when he notices the rings hanging from her necklace, the ones that he had chosen for her almost two years prior.
“I’ve only technically been retired for a week now,” he playfully shoots back, the false offense painting his words. Jade just laughs again, her attention still focused on him. “I suppose my body just needs to learn how to slow down.”
“Well, hopefully it’s not too broken down to pass me that bucket of fresh soil.”
Her teasing request is one that he gladly obliges, reaching for the green bucket sitting a few inches away from him. He pulls it close to his body, ready to pass it over to her when a flash of white catches his eyes. Sidney’s eyes refocus, staring into the bucket as his brain registers the item perched on top of the loose soil.
A pregnancy test.
He tentatively reaches it, grasping the test and lifting it out of the pail. He has to use his hand to block the sunlight to be able to fully read the screen. And his jaw drops when he finally makes out the word ‘pregnant’ staring back at him. Sidney’s eyes flash up to Jade whose gaze is still locked on his body, a soft smile on her face.
“Are you serious?” he asks, the disbelief clear in his tone.
Jade doesn’t give a verbal response, just a small nod as her smile grows wider. Sidney doesn’t hesitate to reach out to her, pulling her into a crushing hug. Her bright cheerful laugh rings out through the air as he holds her close, muttering words of joy and thanks to her and to the universe for bringing these blessings to his life. Sidney can’t stop pressing kisses into her sun-warmed skin as she continues to giggle before she grabs his face and draws him into a passionate kiss.
They finally break away from each other, smiles still splitting their faces and Sidney’s hands fall to rest on her still flat stomach.
“What should we name her?” he asks, his thumbs lifting Jade’s shirt to brush against her bare skin.
“Easy there, superstar. We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet.”
“Trust me, it’s a girl.”
“Oh, and why are you so certain about that? Did the sudden knowledge that you’re going to be a father give you some sort of parental superpower?”
“I just know it,” he replies, that crooked smile tugging at his lips. Jade just returns his smile, his quiet certainty making her softly chuckle.
“I’ve always liked the name Jacqueline. Jackie for short,” she says, the suggestion floating on the breeze.
“Then Jackie it is.”
The two of them stay there, staring at each other as the sunlight beats down on them. This was it for him. It was him and Jade and Wilson and their unborn child. A contented sigh falls from his lips; this was all he ever wanted in his life, all he had ever hoped for. And just like she always did, Jade seemed to know exactly what he was feeling, that beautiful soft smile painting her features.
It isn’t clear who moved first, but at the same time it didn’t matter. Because when Sidney’s lips met Jade’s, he felt the certainty of their love thrumming through him. They break apart, his forehead resting against Jade’s, their breaths mingling in the warm summer light.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
taglist: @laurenairay @fallinallincurls @ sorlos-world @svexhenthusiast and adding @wyattjohnston cause as mentioned, this is started as a Winter Fic Exchange fic.
Enjoy chapter 1 of my new short fic, I won’t say much so you can all go on with a blind eye and get the full effect. Enjoy and let me know if you liked it 💙
It was the 3rd time that night that Sidney woke up in a cold sweat. He rubbed his face and looked over at the small clock that was on his bedside table, the one Emerson had gotten for him on their first anniversary, it was 3 am. The witching hour as he used to tease her about any time she woke up and bothered him to tell him about whatever dream it was she had. Back when life had meaning
He shook off the bad thoughts and went inside the bathroom as he settled for a steaming shower, the kind that was burning his skin. Somehow he should’ve known today would be hard yet he tried his best to push back all those negative thoughts and now here he was back at square one, mourning his dead wife
Time was fucked. Life was fucked. He looked at his reflection in his mirror and ran his fingers through his stubble. His eye bags were practically purple from all the sleep he had missed the last month. He looked like absolute shit and there was no point in hiding it. After getting him together the best he could he grabbed his bag and headed out the door.
It had only been a few months back at the apartment and slowly he was getting used to it, there was no way he’d be able to go back to his actual house. Not without Emerson. That house stayed empty, it was no longer a home after losing Emerson. He paid for it to get cleaned and kept everything in shape but actually living there again seemed far fetched. The apartment he was staying in now was all he needed, it was in a nice area and quiet and that was all he wanted
When he reached the hallway, he bumped into a woman in her late 20’s struggling to carry a large, awkwardly shaped box and watched as everything spilled
“Oh god are you alright ? I’m so sorry” she apologized immediately
He shot her a quick look. "I'm fine," he said curtly, clearly not in the mood for pleasantries “Be careful next time”
“Sorry” she whispered “Uh see you around”
“Let’s hope not” Sidney said back as he walked away from her
For the rest of the week, their paths crossed several times. Sidney would take the stairs, trying to avoid any interactions, but every time he did see her, she didn’t seem to get the hint he wasn’t in the mood to talk.
Finally, on a Thursday afternoon, Sidney was on his way to check the mail when he ran into her again. This time, she was standing near the door, fumbling with a package.
“Oh hey” she said, offering her hand. "I’m Harlow, I live next door"
He hesitated for a second, then simply nodded “Sidney” he replied briefly, not giving much more
“Since we live on the same floor” Harlow continued, trying to push through the tension. “If you need anything, feel free to knock.”
Sidney looked at her, his expression unreadable. “Thanks,” he said, and before she could say anything else, he stepped back inside his apartment, the door closing behind him
Harlow stood there for a moment, wondering what had just happened. Was he just a private person? Or had she somehow rubbed him the wrong way?
The next few days were no better. Harlow found herself thinking about the encounter more than she liked to admit. What had she done to upset him ? Was it her presence, the fact that she was his new neighbor ? It bothered her to no end
Finally, on a rainy Saturday, Harlow found herself staring out the window again, the loneliness creeping back. She settled for actually stepping outside on her balcony and simply stood there. Rain always brought back shit memories and more than anything it made her nervous. It brought her back to a time she wanted so badly to forget. She turned her head and that’s when she saw him and panicked for a moment.
There he was, also standing on his balcony, staring out into the mist as if was waiting for life to simply wake him up from whatever dream he was in. Without thinking, Harlow spoke first
“It’s a miserable day, isn’t it?” she said, her voice carrying over the sound of rain.
Sidney didn’t immediately respond, but when he did, his voice was quieter, more tired than before. “I guess.”
Harlow glanced over at her, unsure if he wanted her there, but something in his eyes stopped her from retreating. “You live here long ?” she asked. “It’s so plain around here”
Sidney gave a short laugh, but it didn’t sound like he was amused at all “Yeah okay” he responded before he turned away
“I get it,” Harlow said gently. “Grief’s a funny thing. It can turn even the most ordinary things into reminders of... everything you’ve lost.”
The comment made Sidney snap his head back towards her, his gaze darkened as he laid his eyes on her “The hell is that supposed to mean ?”
“I’m sorry about your wife,” Harlow said finally, her voice barely above a whisper “I know it’s been tough and I just wanted to say that I-”
“Don’t mention her again” Sidney said coldly “Do you understand ? Just because you moved in and you wanna be annoying trying to talk to me all the damn time doesn’t mean I want to. Keep to yourself and stay out of my way”
“Got it” Harlow nodded “I’m sorry”
Sidney shook his head and stepped back inside. Perhaps he was too rude but the mere mention of Emerson did that to him. She should be alive, she should be with him. They should’ve been discussing when they’d start trying for kids, where they’d go to vacation that summer. Never did he think he’d have to live without her so soon. It was tearing him up inside and sooner than later he’d know he’d blow up
In the weeks that followed Harlow avoided Sidney every chance she could. If he took the elevator she took the stairs, if he was coming towards her she’d turn the other way. It wasn’t until one night that power went out in the building that she held her flashlight and walked out of her apartment only to see him slumped by his door
“Mr.Crosby” she said softly “Are you okay ?”
Harlow took a step closer and flashed her phone light on him and that's when it hit her, he was drunk. She gently touched his shoulder and shook him slightly “Hey….hey Sidney, you okay ?”
“Em….Emerson” he mumbled batting his eyes open “It’s you” he moved his hand to caress her cheek “You’re here”
Harlow breathed heavily upon his touch and gently removed it “We gotta get you inside, where’s your key ?”
“Emerson why’d you leave me” Sidney slurred “I’m sorry Em, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I took longer, I’m sorry…come back please come back already”
She did her best to ignore him, looking for any sign of a key or even a wallet and found his pockets empty. For a moment she debated leaving him there or calling security to come get him but after hearing what she did on tv and how he was on sabbatical, she knew it wouldn’t be ideal so instead she took him to her place.
For once she was thankful a power outage had happened because at least then she couldn’t exactly see his face in her dimly lit living room. She lit up some candles on her dining table and sat there watching him. She had fallen asleep when she suddenly heard movement followed by cursing
“Holy shit” Sidney murmured as he tried to get up from her coach “Why is it dark ?”
“H-Hey” Harlow stuttered out
Sidney squinted as he made eye contact with her then widened his eyes “Why the hell are you in my apartment ? Are you fucking stalking me now ?”
“This is MY apartment” Harlow snapped “You’re in my apartment because you got drunk and lost your wallet and keys and you slumped right by your door like a slob. I brought you in here because I know security would have a bitch fest with you. Believe me I regret my decision immensely”
Sidney felt around his pants and pockets quickly, realizing he in fact had no wallet, keys or even his phone. He shook his head “I….I left everything back at the bar, I only had 2 beers”
“You don’t smell like 2 beers” she commented “Whatever happened clearly got the best of you, I should’ve just called security and they would have handled you”
“Why is your place dark ?” Sidney asked as he looked around “There’s no light”
“Power outage” Harlow nodded “Started around 2 this afternoon and it’s now 8 and still out, management downstairs said we’ll have it back by tomorrow morning at the latest”
He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously and nodded “I uh….sorry for yelling at you like that”
“It’s okay” she said “You were freaked out, I get it”
Sidney reached as he grabbed a candle that was on her coffee table and brought it up to his face so he could see her better “Harlow…Harlow what ?”
“Meyer” she answered quietly
“Harlow Meyer” nodded “I’m Sidney, Sidney Crosby”
“I know” Harlow responded
“Thanks for helping me” he looked at her “Listen I know you probably know who I am but just….don’t mention anything alright ? I’ve been on a break and if somehow this gets to the team then they’ll ask me to take more time off and I don’t want that. I’m close to getting back and I don’t want anything fucking that up. If you want money I can give you some, just name the amount and it’s yours”
“I don’t want money, you have my word I won’t tell a soul. I promise you” Harlow looked at him “I swear”
Sidney hesitated and nodded, looking down at his hands “So uh you’re new here ?”
“Yeah, just got here like a month ago” she answered
“You like it so far ?” he asked
“My neighbor’s kind of an ass but other than that it’s a pretty decent city” Harlow chuckled
Sidney laughed, he genuinely laughed at her comment and grinned, it seemed like it had been forever since he last did that and suddenly Emerson came to his mind and suddenly he felt like he was betraying her in some way
“Well I’m out” he cleared his throat “I’ll have some papers for you to sign tomorrow and what not”
“Wait what ?” Harlow asked confused “I’m literally swearing I won’t tell anyone to your face and you’re gonna make me sign some document ?”
“I don’t know you” he looked at her “I can’t trust you”
She shook her head in disbelief “I can’t believe I helped you out, I should’ve left you out there”
“Why didn’t you ?” he asked
“You looked a mess” she admitted “Clearly you’re struggling”
“I’m not some fucking weirdo alright ? I went to a bar, had some drinks and then when I walked back I felt it all. I’m not some alcoholic who gets drunk every day just to drink, that’s for weak minded people”
“People who struggling with alcohol have an addiction, they’re not weak” Harlow spoke “They can’t help it”
“Yeah alright well I’m letting you know all I had were some beers and that this won’t happen again and I’ll have something for you to sign tomorrow”
“Just leave already” she pointed to the door
He hastily walked out and headed downstairs to get security to let him into his apartment after telling them he had lost his keys. He wasted no time once inside and immediately laid in bed as he reached for the framed picture on his nightstand of him and Emerson and hugged it tightly to his chest.
Today would’ve been their 3 year wedding anniversary and she was gone. Sidney was a widow before he was 40. He still remembered where he was when he got the call about her being rushed to the hospital and how he had convinced himself she was okay. How the heart attack was just minor and she’d be okay but that wasn’t true
The doctor's voice telling him she was gone played over and over in his head and soon he was crying, it was a nightmare he re-lived every single day that was taking over him. The same nightmare that caused him to fall asleep and wake up in that cold sweat every morning.
The next day he woke up and made his way to the bar to collect his wallet, keys and phone he had left behind. After paying his tab and giving the bartender a hefty check to not say a word he stopped by his usual coffee shop to grab something to eat and settled by a nearby bench on a park. It was then that he spotted her and sighed, she was like some tick that just wouldn’t leave him
It was day time now and he had a better look at her, she was tall, fit with some brunette hair and seemed overly focused on counting all the donuts in her box. He finished his food and followed her for a bit and when he saw where she stopped and went in he felt his stomach drop.
After last night’s fiasco and him talking down to her there she was walking into an AA meeting in the city's treatment center. He paused for a moment and looked down at his phone, his screensaver of Emerson lighting up his phone as if to tell him he knew what he needed to do. What he didn’t know was that he’d soon find out just how much Harlow understood him.
pairing: j. woll x fem!reader
summary: Y/N is exhausted and Joesph hasn't really noticed until she breaks down after a long day.
request: Can I request?? Joesph Woll (my one true love) with reader maybe something along the lines of ‘you look after everyone else but who looks after you’ like super soft ?! I can’t write but I NEED this please, of course only if you are up for it🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
word count: 1078
warning(s): FLUFF, established relationship, joe being oblivious, not proof read
notes: my first request !! i know exactly how reader feels rn. finals are kicking my ass. this is not crazy long because i'm still learning to write long fics but i really hope you enjoy it !! xoxo
Joe's keys jingle as he unlocks the door to your shared condo. He kicks off his sneakers and drops his gym bag on the ground.
"Hey, baby, I'm home!" he raises his voice so you can hear him from another room. There's no response. Weird, normally you are working in the kitchen or taking a nap by the time he gets home from practice. The TV in the living room is off and the condo is eerily silent.
Making his way down the hallway towards your bedroom, he opens the door. The bed is made and your purse, keys and phone are gone from their usual spot on the nightside table. Joe furrows his brow in confusion and walks back into the main area of the house. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees a missed call from you, but only one. And no texts.
Wandering into the kitchen, he sees a sticky note on the fridge. Joe takes it off and reads it.
Got called into work. See you at 9:00.
9:00? It's only 5:00 right now. He pulls out his phone and opens your chat.
Sorry about work, sweetheart. See you when you get home.
He sighs. You weren't scheduled to work today. You weren't even supposed to be called in today. He rubs his eyes and yawns. Five hour practice has him wiped. He'll just watch Seinfeld and wait for you to get home, he decides. Then you can both eat together and go to bed.
"Ow, fuck!"
Joe eyes open fast. He jerks awake and almost falls off the couch. He blinks a few times and turns over on his back.
"Joeeeee!!"
He jumps slightly again. You make your way into the living room, "Why are your shoes and bag just in the middle of the floor? I just tripped on them". You look at him with your mouth slightly open, emphasizing you shock.
"Sorry, baby, I-". "Whatever, I'm going to bed" you walk towards your bedroom and close the door hard. You change quickly into more comfortable clothes before Joe walks in.
"How was your day?" he asks, coming over to sit on the side of the bed with you. "Long," you reply, not looking up from your bag as you rummage around, searching for a hair slip. Joe chuckles, "I assumed so, but that's not what I asked. How was your day? What did you do?".
You look up at him and he notices tears swelling in your eyes. "Can I have a hug?" you ask softly. He nods, "Of course". Immediately, your arms wrap around his waist and he can hear soft sobs coming from where your head is buried in his chest.
"Y/N, is everything ok?"
You lift your head and look at him. You nod slowly, a single tear falling from your left eye. Joe moves his thumb to wipe it away and you sniffle.
"Don't lie to me, love. You know that doesn't work."
As if on cue, you start sobbing once more. "Today was so hard, Joey. I have exams coming up and I have barely studied. I was called into work because Jessica called in sick and we are short staffed. Even though I told my boss I couldn't come in, he insisted. He said he'd pay me time and a half but it wasn't worth it.". You pause and inhale deeply, then continue, "Jessica has done none of her work for an article due for publishing in two days, so I basically edited the whole thing. And then on the way home, my sister called and said she needs us to watch the boys next week while she and her husband go to Seattle. We don't have space for them, Joe. But, of course, my mom can't because she is off in Europe for 6 weeks. So, who else will they go to? An orphanage? No, they will come live in our not baby proofed one bedroom condo for 4 days".
By this point you have stopped crying as much and are more in a rant of rage than anything. Joe sits quietly with his hand on your back, feeling your heartbeat. He listens. Normally, you are a ray of sunshine. So peaceful and bright. However, right now, you seem more like a bridge collapsing under too much weight.
"On top of that, I missed the exit for Wendy's so I didn't even get to eat. I'm starving and I'm tired and burnt out and I can't rest because everyone needs something constantly. I'm just... done". You stop ranting and sigh, feeling defeated.
"Wow"
You look up at him, confused, "What?"
"Y/N, you're so... strong". Joe smiles softly and continues, "You take care of everyone. All their bullshit, all their needs. Even mine. I come home every night to a wonderful girlfriend who is getting her education and has a demanding job, but still makes sure my home feels like home. You look after everyone else. But let me ask you something, baby, who looks after you?"
You tilt your head in confusion at the question, "I don't know. Me, I guess". Joe shakes his head. "Wrong, I do. Or, at least, I should be. I'm sorry I haven't noticed the pressure you are under. Do you work tomorrow?"
You nod again. He shakes his head once more, “Call in sick. I have practice early tomorrow but no game. When I get home, I'll help you study for exams. Then, I'll take you out for a nice dinner and we can go see a movie. Sound good?"
You nod again, this time with a small smile forming on your face. He picks you up, slamming you back down on the bed. You laugh and yawn.
He asks, "Time for bed?"
You stretch and wipe your eyes. "Mhm, long day". Joe laughs and slips you both under the covers after turning off the lights and closing your blinds. He places his arm under your head and you body instinctively shifts toward him.
"Joe?" you ask, your eyes already closed.
"Hmm?"
"Tomorrow... can we go to the pretty library to study? The one... on Queen?". Joe chuckles at the pauses you take mid sentence. You must truly be exhausted. "Of course, baby, anything you want," he replies, stroking your cheek and tucking your hair behind your ear, "I love you, Y/N".
31 days of blurbs | mean!nate mackinnon x reader | contains: nate being toxic af, screaming, fighting
"will you just leave me alone?! i can't stand you!"
turning around to slam the door in his face, he puts his thick boot in the way. he follows you through your house, folding his arms while you throw your purse at him, shouting out of frustration.
"you done yet?" he asks in a condescending tone.
he was doing what he normally was while out on patrol, stalking you, and he watched you walk into a dive bar with a man he didn't recognize. it infuriated him. yes, it was his fault why they hadn't talked in over a week, and he was at fault for getting his number blocked, but it still pissed him off that you were going out with someone else.
"no! stop fucking following me nathan! i fucking hate you!" tears were rolling down your cheeks while you felt your body go limp, falling to your knees on the floor. the sight before him looked pathetic, and you're sure he was going to make fun of you for it at some point, but this time he got down to your level.
"i protected you tonight. when you went to the bathroom he drugged your drink. god knows what he would've done to you. you're just too damn naive to realize it sometimes."
you cry out more sobs, completely falling apart. part of you is filled with fear, fear that nathan is the only thing you have. fear that even though he's toxic he's the only man you're gonna have. a raging fear that he really is right, that you're too naive.
"c'mere," he pulls you onto his lap. he's still in his uniform, his belt with his gun and handcuffs poking at your sides, but his arms is the warmest place you have ever been. "i'm here to keep you safe."
it was always a self proclaimed statement. you never asked him to keep you safe, you never wanted him to keep you safe. you're not sure how he still has a job with the police force because he spends his working hours following you around town.
but still, when you're in this position, you do feel safe. you feel safe in his arms, knowing if someone were to bust through the door they would get met with nate's strong fists and eventually a bullet in their head.
"you're so mean to me nate," you whisper in his ear, "but you give the best hugs."
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