“Could you just love me like this?”
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shark vs the universe

tannertan36
Today's Document
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@journeetohappee
“Could you just love me like this?”

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november 2nd
My journey is over for the time being. It won’t be forever, but it will be for awhile.
october 23rd
It’s been a few days again. I’m still okay with that because right now I’m working on my mental health—that’s my only priority. My sanity is more important than my weight. After all this is a journey to self love, weight loss included.
I feel like I’m doing a bit better now. But starting today I’m really getting myself back on track. I haven’t strayed a ton, but enough that I realize I need to control it now. Doctors appointment next Friday and I’m not sure yet if I’ll keep it or not. I’ll base it off of this week.
october 17th
I’m not trying to make excuses for myself on not blogging everyday, but I’m still trying to find what works for me. I wasn’t sure I’d do a daily post from the beginning and it’s turned out that I don’t need or want to.
Today was okay. I’m really starting to think things are getting better/easier, but at the same time, I’m still slacking. I’m trying to set small goals to achieve each day and even if I don’t meet them, I don’t crush myself over it. I simply plan to try again the next day.
Tomorrow my goal will be to get back on track with drinking water. I went from almost a gallon a day and now I’m down to maybe a bottle. That definitely needs to change because I can feel a major difference. So, I plan on drinking at least a half gallon along with 2 cups of green tea. I can do this!
weigh in update!
-drum roll please-
SW: 308
CW: 299
9 pounds in 9 days. For as bad as I’ve been doing at sticking to this diet, I’m impressed. My measurements don’t seem to have changed much, but progress is super motivating for me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
october 15th
It’s been a few days because I’ve decided to stay off of social media during the weekends to spend time with my kids and family. I’ve also decided that Mondays will be my designated weigh in and update day.
First things first, this weekend I went WAY off track. I went to see my grandma and she made a huge delicious lunch that I didn’t want to turn down, and I didn’t. I definitely overindulged. Then, I had a date night Saturday and overstuffed myself then too. But, it was okay. I really didn’t beat myself up over it because I don’t get those things very often. So, I’ll definitely do better this week.
Today was decent, I was sort of hungry, but not as bad as I have been. I took a few bites of curry, drank a protein shake, and had venison medallions for supper. All in all, I felt pretty successful!
october 12th
My days are slowly getting better. Or I’m at least getting used to the hunger pangs. Either way, I feel like I’m finally on the right track. I ate like shit for lunch again, but according to the scale, I’m down 7 pounds in 6 days. That’s enough motivation to make me not want to cheat again until my follow up appointment.
I’m still so sleepy though. I can’t fight it and I’m thinking my depression is about to swallow me again; I can’t function and I sure don’t want to do anything but stay in bed. But, I can’t and I won’t because my littles need me and I need them to see their mama working hard.
october 11th
I think today was a little better. I really can’t tell because all of my days are foggy and running together. I’m super angry and I snap constantly—I’m not sure if it’s hunger or the meds or both. Eventually it’ll all even out, or at least that’s what I hope. Slowly but surely.
Meal Plan Tips!
This is what I use as a guide for my diet plan. I am actually pretty picky myself so my diet consists of mostly the same foods all the time, but it’s good to switch it up! The stuff in bold is what I prefer lol like I said this is a “guide” and the key is to make sure you are eating clean and well rounded. My sister wrote this plan for me as she is a personal trainer and nutritionist. Don’t be afraid to be creative and try new things! You will find what works best for you. Â
PROTEINS
Chicken Breast (Boneless/Skinless)
Turkey Breast
Lean Ground Turkey
Salmon
Tuna
Top Round Steak
Top Sirloin Steak
Lean Ground Beef
Lean Ham
Egg Whites or Substitutes
Non-fat Cottage Cheese
Ahi
Pork Tenderloin
Filet Mignon
Tofu
High Quality Protein Powder
**Remember Muscle=Metabolism! Every time you eat protein you are feeding your muscles which speeds up your metabolism.
***BUT don’t over eat your protein and always try to eat the leanest kinds of protein. The more you are working out, the more protein you should have in your diet.
VEGETABLES
**You can eat as many green veggies as you want all day long!
Broccoli-My personal favorite.
Asparagus
Romaine Lettuce
Spinach
Carrots
Cauliflower
Green Beans
Green Peppers
Mushrooms
Tomatoes
Peas
Brussel Sprouts
Artichoke
Cabbage
Celery-VERY good for weight loss.
Zucchini
Cucumber
Onion
Bell Peppers
Squash
**Always try to eat fresh veggies! Frozen is ok but canned is not great.
***Try to stay away from corn, it is a vegetable BUT your body can’t process it very well and it slows down your metabolism.
Carbohydrates
(1 serving=the size of your clenched fist)
Red Baked Potato
Sweet Potato
Yams
Pumpkin- Another favorite! Add a little cinnamon and a dash of stevia to kill a sweet tooth!
Steamed Brown Rice
Steamed Wild Rice
Whole Wheat Pasta
Oatmeal (plain!!! Not packaged! Add fruit if you can’t eat it plain.)
Beans (black, garbanzo, pinto, or kidney)
Strawberries
Apples
Melons
Oranges
½ banana
Greek Yogurt (nonfat)
Whole Wheat bread
High Fiber Cereal
Rice Cakes
Whole Grains
Cream of Wheat
**Make sure you cut your carbs out after 5pm and stay away from white carbs (white rice, white bread, white tortilla, etc.)
Good Fat Sources
**Use these sparingly but make sure to include some in your diet. The earlier in the day you eat these is better!
½ Avocado
Sunflower Seeds
Pumpkin Seeds
Cold Water Fish (Tuna, Salmon, etc.)
Natural Peanut Butter
Almond Butter!
Low-Fat Cheese
Low-Fat Salad Dressing (Balsamic Vinaigrette or and Vinaigrette is good!)
Raw Nuts
Olives
Olive Oil (Cook with this NO BUTTER!!)
Safflower Oil
Canola Oil
Sunflower Oil
Flax Seed Oil (The healthiest!)
**These are your EFA’s (Essential Fatty Acids) the more you workout the better it is to have these because it helps you burn bad fats more efficiently.
FOODS TO AVOID!!!
BUTTER
FRIED ANYTHING!
MAYONNAISE
SWEETS
WHOLE FAT DAIRY PRODUCTS
SOUR CREAM
NOTES TO REMEMBER
**Drink lots of water! Always have water in your hand! You should be going to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes. Lol. DO NOT drink soda or juices or energy drinks. You can drink unsweetened green tea. Your urine should be very light colored.
**Prepare your meals ahead of time so they are ready when it is time to eat.
**Eat every 3 hours to make sure you are keeping your metabolism high! Make sure you are consuming protein every 3 hours.
**Eat before you get hungry!! This will prevent you from overeating.
***Remember no carbs at dinner!
***HAVE A CHEAT DAY! Take one day off a week so that your body has to keep guessing and you don’t plateau. This also helps you stay motivated.
6 MEALS A DAY
Breakfast: 1 Protein, 1 Carb, 1 EFA (Good Fat)
(3 hours later…)
Snack: Protein Shake (You can also have a handful of raw almonds or veggies)
(3 hours later…)
Lunch: 1 Protein, 1 Carb, Veggies, 1 EFA (Good Fat)
(3 hours later…)
Snack: Protein Shake
(3 hours later…)
Dinner: 1 Protein, 1 Veggie
(3 hours later…)
After Dinner: I always have a protein shake after a workout which is after dinner because I typically go around 8 or 9pm. Also, you can have one if you feel hungry before bed.Â
Oh yeah, add alcohol to the list too. It’s just sugar boys and girls…sorry!
Here we go!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
october 10th
So much for positive thinking. I want to give up.
I’m so ashamed of my lack of self control. Why is this so hard for me to stick with? Everyday is a new day, but they all suck when you can’t move on from a hump you’ve been struggling to get over for years.
random thought?
I cheated today. Not once, but twice. And both times I told myself it was okay because I feel like I’m starving to death. Then all of a sudden, I realized I can’t keep excusing this behavior if I’m going to make true progress. One cheat day excused will turn into two, then three, and four, etc. Before I know it I’ll just gain more than I’ve been trying to lose.
october 9th
Today will probably be the most random day so far. I have a ton of thoughts and ideas and my brain keeps scattering them all around.
So I was thinking—maybe this whole thing is all in my head. My depression has made me a pessimist in the last couple years so I never really think anything, especially myself, will be successful. I’m gonna try changing my thinking and that in itself will probably be the most difficult part of this journey.
I want to start doing one thing for myself each day. I think I’ll start waking up an hour earlier than I usually do (depending on the kids) and using that time for me specifically. Maybe I’ll journal or work out, maybe I’ll just sit in silence and reflect. But I’m starting to believe my mental health needs to come before I’ll see any sort of physical improvement.
On a more positive note, although I’m still a bit hungry, it doesn’t feel as bad so far this morning. And my mouth is super dry. Maybe it just took a few days to get into my system and start working.
I need to write this down and post it throughout my entire house.
october 8th
Honestly, I’m pretty fed up with this. I called the doctor (like he told me to do if I was still hungry) and he basically blew me off. It’s just really frustrating because I was counting on this as my last chance to finally lose weight but as hungry as I am, it would be too easy to cheat. If nothing is better by Friday, I’m going to change my diet plan to include a small breakfast and maybe combat the hunger a little better.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
october 7th
3 grapes and 1 banana since I’ve been up today. I’m so hungry, I’m shaking. I need this to get easier. If there’s no improvement by Tuesday, I’m calling for something else.
october 6th
One capsule down. I took it about 7am and 2 hours later, I don’t feel any different than usual. I feel like I’m starving but the doctor was very clear—no breakfast or lunch; dinner only. So, I’ll play it by ear and give it a few days before asking him to up my dosage. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stick to it if I feel hungry all the time. Hopefully I’ll have a better update later this afternoon.
Update: tomorrow will be better. Willpower. Willpower. I can do this. I will do this.