Spoken Words

But as they say, “What’s a Battle without a good fight”.

I placed my writing on the back burner for some time now but today I choose to re-enlist and bring my writing back to the forefront.

So I opened what used to be your drawer And the only thing left in there was a letter I wrote to you on 11/1/15.  A reminder of how much I loved you but at the same time knew we weren't meant to be together.  But still yet I wrote hard for you.  Writing to let you know how much you truly meant to me, Because my ink ain't free, my ink means something to me and so did you. Guess you left it behind for me to see.  For me to see that my ink meant nothing to what was a you and me. - Rashida Leacock

Everyday I see myself lying to my self.

Now thinking on my conversation earlier with this lil girl today. Lil girl: what's your favorite color? Me: Yellow as the sun could be. Lil girl: why? Me: Because it's bright and warm. Lil girl: So you must be happy. Me: I "try" to be happy. Now I'm sitting around thinking why did I use the term "try". Why can't I just be happy. From now on I choose to be happy. As happy as the sun shines bright, I shall be . ☀️

I’ve loved you and I still love you, I just wish I had more time with you, More memories too, but what can I do, but just hold on to the last few memories I once had with you. - Rashida Leacock

Being back in this space is nothing new to me, but I hate the space “I” create and place myself in. I need to create change if I want to see different results, “positive” results. Love more, worry less and be more understanding. Till then you will not see change. Use your past as your prime example of who you don’t want to be. Become the person you once envisioned and that’s graceful and Queenly. Never forget that! - Rashida

A lot of people wish for the unrealistic things in life. People wish we could forever be young, we will forever be where we are in life, that we would forever be caught up in our current feelings. But nothing last forever. As time goes on, we as people naturally change. We change for the better, we change for the worse. We’re in love we’re outta love. So much changes in such a little amount of time but we learn to adjust/adapt when that time comes. Just keep remembering “nothing lasts forever” and just move on with your life. Your change will come, just learn how to embrace it.

If I were to kiss you, what would you do? Would you turn around and walk away And leave my lips astray? Or would you dive in and suck on my sweet honey suckle lips? I mean why trip on something you yearned for? Ducking and dodging something you been feening to acknowledge. Baby it’s a challenge and I challenge you to stop fronting. Stop fronting on the love thats deep inside,don’t hide. You got a fine woman standing by your side and willing to ride shot gun. Her top guns be busting when she rides and your deep inside too. Not only these looks will fascinate you. But the pussy game will have your mind in flames and have you wondering why you was thinking x2. (Times 2) Coulda said I should have warned you, guess I gotta attach a warning label. No cocky shit, don’t trip. I just know what I’m capable of. But you keep throwing this tough love and I love the tough loving, and ain’t nothing better then this sweet love challenge. But if I were to kiss you, what would you now do? Dive in?!

I don’t know how to be affectionate anymore, So don’t ask me for affection. I can’t give you what your looking for because my heart isn’t open. I don’t know what an emotional connection is, so don’t ask me for any connection tips. Because every time love comes near, she knows how to strip and leave me bare. I won’t walk around here with anymore tears. And feeling naked out there. I refuse to let anyone near! Cuffing season is forever over ain’t no love around here.

He sucked on my lips, as if he were nominating me for the Kylie Jenner lip challenge. 👄😏