💋💋

“I’d better be!” Donald huffs through his melting, the rest of his body limp as a noodle while his head shot right up with absolutely zero support. “We’ve been together for over..” The kisses were up his arm.. “over..” and the kisses were at his neck, followed up by that familiar intimate nibble that blows steam right out of the sides of the duck’s head; a whistle rings out and the cap flies right off the sailor’s noggin, his heart almost busting out of his chest with how it starts pounding! Irises are sent sproinging all over the pale blue orbs to the sound of pinball, knocking out any coherent thought he might have had before about Sean Bean or Selene or Saltine McCracker and only replacing the thoughts with powdery pink clouds dusted with sugar.

Slowly, Donald descends from his erratic floating and comes to land in José’s arms, head nestling beneath his beak, eyes closed, a look of pure contentment and heaven blissful across his resting face. He hugs the old parrot around the neck and nuzzles up to him, cooing.

“Oh, what were we talking about, Joe?” He schmoozes, lids batting slowly to the ridiculously successful romantic.

Ah, a suave Zé Carioca, his one weakness.

Well, he knows what the right thing to say is. Something like blahdeblah talking about how wonderful you are yaddayadda meu querido fofinho soonandsoforth lindo pato beijos beijos beijos etc etc etc.

To be honest he has been resisting the urge to mourn. And his eyes keep glancing at the remains of that beloved beauty, that wondrous radiant delight, delicious and succulent. The gooey remains of that Happy 2022 cake, that glorious cake that Donald had baked and then slaughtered in a crime of passion before it could be so much as licked. José could still lick the remains off the floor though, right? There’s no need to cry. No need to construct a tiny coffin and bury it in the yard in a dramatic scene of agony and loss.

Jokes of running astray got him in trouble in the first place. Keep the eye away from wandering. Focus on his love, his non-edible love (well) Donald Duck.

Though he’s definitely very obviously kept looking at the cake. Cartoonish eyes widening and watching it with steady intent focus before snapping back to Donald.

Only mourn the cake if Donald mourns the cake! It wouldn’t be offensive to never mourn it, of course it must be cried over, tears must be shed. Doanld worked hard on it! But Donald has to be the first to react, and José must follow that lead. If it looks like he cares more about the cake then lovey-doveyducky romance this would be an offense and start another argument.

Oh crap Donald just said something to him but José was busy looking at the cake. Didn’t hear a word.

DOESN’T MATTER, DON’T NEED TO MAKE IT OBVIOUS HE FAILED TO LISTEN.~ No one will ever know, other then those with the all access VIP pass to the internal monologue! (For access to the pass please inquire at the askbox of tumblr user jose-carioca!!! For seven payments of-wait reading a public rp blog is free?)

“Oh, fofinho! Jeitoso! Esplêndido! Eu vou te beijar por toda a eternidade!*” José exclaims. He proceeds to shower kisses all over Donald’s face, hoping Donald didn’t notice the intense stare he was giving the remains of the cake.

And you could see the thermometer appear next to Donald, high in the red, yet cooling to a peach pink with the duck’s white feathers. Anger smoothly subsided into a bashful glow, the axe losing form and going as limp as a noodle beneath his weight, and Donald himself leaning in close to José with clasped hands and low, dewy, cooing “aww”s.

Hook, line, 🍭

He had no clue who this ‘Claudia Phantomhive’ was (and for a moment felt himself puff in the chest, and wonder if he had to march up to her.. castle? trailer? casita? to confront her), but such little details and insignificant names did not matter to him. Even ‘Sebastian Michaelis’ was finally sizzling to nothingness on the ole sailor iron skillet. Could he understand appealing to masses with the funnies, the contrasts? Oh you bet he could, that’s what supposedly landed his and Goofy’s partnership in that silly little game! And while Goofy himself was not a bishouhounonen, he got it.

No, you really don’t Donald.

“Actual for real love? D’ooooh, Joooe…” Donald floated off the ground, beak supported on his bridged fingers. “I thought you liked him as homekeeper better than me! I know he can do some very showy stuff..” Yes, this is him fishing for compliments. “And he can balance champagne glasses.. and he can save a burnt meal.. and he can tie a cherry stem with his tongue..”

WOW, THAT WAS EASY! Maybe too easy. Things like this really feed a parrot’s ego! José is thrilled that Donald provides obvious evidence that He’s Still Got It! The Right Response to Donald’s words seems obvious.

“I do not know what he can do! Do not pay attention. Like I say, it is a joke. But you are no joke to me. You are my one, my one who I love, forever always, no matter what it is you do.” Including threatening José with an axe! Really, isn’t that in itself an action to be loved? José needs navy duck to charge at him with a weapon to keep him one his toes!

SWAT! SWISH! CLACK! The axe breezes through leftover plates, it crashes through support beams that continue to miraculously hold up the roofing despite no longer having a leg to stand on, it SMASHES through that pretty “Happy New Years! 2022!” cake Donald poured his heart, soul and tears into (figuratively, because those are disgusting ingredients in his opinion - free, but disgusting). Icing splats to the walls and pours down into animated, drooping frames of Donald relentlessly pursing José, eventually leaping and clashing into his lover, but what happens from then on is a mystery as the buttercream runs and melts into itself.

Tires SCREECH to a halt, and Donald stands looming over his beloved with an axe held high over his head.. frozen. He’s blushing. He shyly turns into his shoulder, feathers turning red and deeper than tomatoes.

Fofinho? 🤍💙

Donald sliiiinks back onto his heels and the axe, slowly, very slowly, is lowered, becoming instead a stand for Donald to lean on with crossed arms as he giggles to himself. Fofinho. Fofhino. Fofhino. 🤍💙 Fof-WAITASECOND.

Blushing turns to boiling! Boiling turns to radiation! Radiation turns into Donald’s head becoming as hot as the sun!

“Oh yeah?” Donald taps the butt of the axe, scowling. “Well, get to talking! What are YOU doing going after that creepy butler guy, huh??”

“It is jokes! Think about the silly of it!” Donald doesn’t always understand this aspect of José’s personality, but he thinks he’ll really get it this time. Just this once! As long as he explains it right!

“Tiny silly looking parrot! Tall bishōnen, this means pretty man.... It is silliness! And no sincerity, thinking of our personalities! We are simply two demons, he for real me in metaphor, who are deceiving. Rely on charm so no one sees true intention! And one is anime, one is old silly cartoon! It is a, oh I do not know the word for it, exactly. Some sort of, mirroring? But not sincere, cannot be sincere at all with his personality and with mine as well.”

“It is funny silly outlandish thing to say to Claudia Phantomhive, woman who is great political power in England, yes. Here she is, mind her own business, and then I come to strut up and say AY YOUR GRANDSON’S BUTLER. That is what I ask? That is first thing I say? To that woman? It is ridiculous. And it is funny she do not take great offense, and hit me. Shows the person she is!” He can’t help but crack a smile.

“Silly on all level, no real pursuit. Just to see me and that man stand next to each other would be a silly thing. Maybe funny things from that situation. Ha ha. Ridiculous thing, not like fofhino and me, who care about each other so much, have such fun together, actually love for real. We have true chemistry, and my adore of you is something I am created with, you remember.”

Brazil. Imagine that? What a journey that would be.. but there’s a lot of kicks to that offer, innit there?

“Ohoho, oh no, no, no, my little emerald pet. I know when a gent is tryin’ to persuade me t’hop ont’his magic carpet, and I ain’t part’a this deal. My bustle sits too high for you to chase.” Not to mention it was a tightly closed skirt. “You’ve painted me curious though, I’ll give you that. What sort’a magic is it you be tradin’, aye? Ain’t often I hear that pretty little word on lips in London – not in genuine, that is.” And the fact this was a decently sized, dapper-dressed, full-on English speakin’ parrot gave a pinch of support to the legitimacy of magic, enough for her to give way to her natural tone instead of the deeply polished one.

Still, as with all creatures and people, Claudia remained skeptical! ”I can’t tell ya his favorite wine, but I can tell you an animal I’ve seen him melt over ten, twenty, forty times over. How’s that?”

“Oh it is not like thaaat!” José coos, in that sort of flippant tone of a man who ABSOLUTELY DID MEAN IT LIKE THAT but upon realizing he was not successful is lunging right into denial. “A pretty lady and a handsome bird can have wild night, as friends!”

“I have someone!” He insists. “And I love him! That love is for him only! It is my nature, the nature of the Brazilian men, to charm, to romance, we have warm passionate blood, we live rich and emotion and we admire the beauty and the wit of the lovely countess, but we know we look - no touch! No no no touch the art~!” He assures further. One can decide if they believe him or not.

But back on subject, of deals! He can’t help but frown at her lack of knowledge of what wine the bishōnen likes. That poor, poor suave bishōnen! José knows what it is, to be the charming man, to always woo, but to never have the attention directed to him! That poor gorgeous butler man! He deserves to have someone woosh him away to beautiful Bahia just once, doesn’t he! To not have to serve, but to be served! Oh yes, José will SERVE him. Wait, what was José supposed to be thinking about. Oh right. Deals.

“My magic, it is not serious deadly ba-ha-ha magic, if you want that kind of magic you are better to do it for yourself. Mine is for fun only, which is why I suggest taking you to a fun time. I can only perform fun. Not to make small of what my magic does, if you experience it your heart will be so full! It is the delight of life! But I tell you because I am wondering if you think it has other uses, I tell you no.”

It’s like hitting a wall of plastic wrap stretched frame-to-frame (specifically set up by their combined nephews). Donald stumbles and shakes his head, twisting his bent beak back into shape with a loud snap! and an angry mumbling of much grumbling. He gives a good squint of his eye and leans in to stare at the banner, and his expression reflectively draws back in confusion.

“… Que?”

…

“THAT PICTURE CAN’T STOP ME BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND MEMES!”

----------------------------------------------------------------

José holds up multiple, increasing hasty desperate and badly designed Do Not Interact Banners as a defense. None of them stand a chance against Donald’s fury. The duck shreds through each of them with maniacal ease.

It eventually becomes clear that Do Not Interact banners will not save him, and he must try another strategy. José has always been proud of his flawless ability to either dodge or quell the temper of the duck. It’s all part of the same old dance they have been performing for about eighty years.

“Donald, how about you put down the axe, fofinho?” He requests in his sweet, soothing voice. “I will let you express yourself, but you can express without axe, yes?” He must take a few steps back, dodge a few swipes. But he remains composed. Honestly, he feels better facing it head on rather then using those dumb banners anyway.

“Certainly. What are you willin’ to do for me to arrange such a tryst, mm?”

Oh, the part of the deal where José also has to offer something. This is his least favorite part of Deals. Can’t he simply receive without giving in return???? He frankly had not thought this far ahead, or intended to get this far.

But of course, he is not one to STOP at the proper moment. Let’s see how far it goes! Drive right off the cliff, eventually!

He looks at Claudia, tries to decipher what she may want. And more importantly, what may also be fun for him to provide to her.

“I have many skills, many magics. Maybe I take you away for awhile, show you the beauties of the world you have not yet seen. Shining, shimmering and splendid it is! Let you taste the best of what Brazil has to offer. You do what you want, in a place far away where no one is knowing your name. We do what you like! No one will tell you no, or where to go. I will be guide for you, your magic guide. All of this for letting me have a meeting with the man, and a little information for me to please him. Like what is his favorite wine! Simple request, and I will give you a whole new world in return!”

“Let your heart decide!” He adds with a flirtatious wink.

“So.” He lets the word linger for just a second. A warning for her to brace herself for the upcoming proposition. This is a smart woman, a powerful woman. She’ll know, just by his tone. Be Ready.

“You can hook me up with Sebastian Michaelis, yes?”

There’s a slithering as the bird whimpers sadly to himself, a sound of rattling to the left and then the right, switching at rapid pace. Before he can reach the street, a heavy weight is slung onto his back with the wrapping of bright, neon shimming coil lassoing around his neck. What a horrible tail! .. Oh, it’s not a tail at all. It’s.. hair? And it might be something worse than the police.

“Don’t you worry, pretty birdie - I’m still here and nasty.” Demencia giggles, hair gripping around José with her hands clutching some of those pretty, sparkling jewels. “Are these for me!? For making up after disappearing on me for so, so, so, so, SO long!?”

What is a post-apocalyptic wasteland without the reptilian monster coming to claim you? Incomplete, of course! Thank goodness for dear Demencia enhancing the stupid fantasy!

José, of course, SCREAMS.

Not long ago, his mind was convinced he craved death. What is life without love? What point is there to continue in this world where everyone he cared for had perished in some kind of horrible global phenomena? Of course he would wish to perish too. What horrible misery would befall a cartoon, a being made to entertain and delight human beings, if he has to live in a world without laughter? He didn’t know if he had the strength to discover that.

And yet, of course, those thoughts disappear the moment fear of death clasps him, and suddenly he wants nothing more then to survive.

“DO NOT KILL, DEATHCLAW!!!”

He screeches. His voice shrill, painful, ear-bursting the way only a parrot’s could be.

She didn’t particularly seem to be intending to hurt him at the moment, but enough birds have perished in the maw of reptilian monsters for his fear to be deep-set, instinctive. Thousands of long gone birds scream their agonized warning into his instincts, and so he screams as well.

How lonely an existence for an old toon, wandering the windy neighborhood and its aged, peeling paint abodes. No ink-splatty heartbeat to be found outside of his own, no distant angry shouting and blasting of shotguns at his feet.. Where have the good old days go-

Oop, he’s been spotted.

“You must be terribly lost, my dashing little thief,” Dainty purple fingers pinch the back of the parrot’s neck and lifts him and his stolen jewels off the ground and holding him at a distance. “Because most of those people have only moved a few blocks over while you’ve been hibernating. So much for you never ignoring mine and Roger’s text messages..”

A burst, a rush, a flood of sparkling vivid elation at seeing her. An old friend, a familiar face, after years of isolation and loneliness. The confirmation that life continues on this Earth. Life that is familiar. Life that he loved.

“Jessica!!!”

Then he stops. Turns, looks to you. To you, reader of this roleplay.

“The hallucinations.” He informs you. “They begin so quickly. My lonely mind has created one of my bestest, and most of beautiful friends for me. It is good I am genre-savvy parrot, and I know she is not real.”

Real or not, he is happy to see her. Better to be insane then to be with no one. He will live this world deluded with the joy, surrounded by imaginary buddies! Yes! This is the kind of post-apocalyptic life he can lead.

He turns back to Jessica. It must have looked odd to her that he just spoke to air there, but she probably knows who he was addressing. Maybe?

“Thief you say? But we do not want to leave precious and beautiful things all lone with no one to love them, do we? They will want us to be their company, I am rescuing these things! There is no one to steal from!”

He wanders out of what appears to be a large and lavish mansion, carrying various expensive looking jewels.

“What joy is there to become rich if everyone I am knowing and loving is dead?” He whimpers softly to no one. There is not a soul to share his newfound wealth with, or so he thinks.

Unfortunately that post doesn’t mean I’m coming back by any means. I just showed up to defend the person I love LOL. She told me she was sad and you know how it is when someone you care about is sad.

I’m sorry for dropping off the face of the online Earth without warning. Sorry to my pals who I used to talk to. I just... Came to the conclusion that the Internet isn’t super great for my mental health. I’m sure you can see why that is..... Stuff got really rough for me IRL for a bit, I had some intense changes and like... it became easy to drop off the Internet and just never come back. As fun as the Internet can be and as wonderful as some of my Internet-Pals have been... I gotta choose my mental health first. Things are going well for me in life now.

The Internet is and online communities are... hm.

I wish I could talk to at least the people who were nice to me but like. Gwad the Internet is just such garbage for my anxcious brain. Life is hard enough without constantly fighting anxiety to maintain Internet friendships....

Maybe if I get a little more capable of handling the Internet I will come back in some capacity... But that feels kind of unlikely. I hope you’re all doing well. Know my spirit is with you and I am sending you good energy. A lot of you have really influenced my life in a positive way and I just hope you’re all doing well and having fun. I remember you and think fondly of you good people often.

Try to have fun in life and spread positivity. If you have an urge inside you to spew something negative resist that. You never know who might read what you say and end up hurt. It’s not just your enemies who you view as justified to attack who get hurt by negativity. Negativity hurts all of us. There’s already so much pain and unintentional hurt on this Earth without trying to consciously add more.

TAKE CARE, FRIENDS

RISES FROM THE GRAVE hey gang! It's me, a bisexual person. I understand people are mad at a lesbian expressing she is uncomfortable with a bisexual women being shipped with men! Ya'll mad that @heinoushangar is erasing a bisexual person's sexuality. However.... you are erasing a bisexual experience. Being a bisexual woman who is exclusively in a romantic relationship with a woman is an experience that is constantly erased. You people claim to care about oppression as well as claiming to understand feminism without sensing something being amiss here. A woman being consistently available to men is a huge part of the sexist role of being a woman. And you all are claiming Charlie not being available to men is.... biphobic. lol. This is a very frustrating real life experience for me and it's always so wild to watch this play out all the time. I'm a bisexual. Being with a woman doesn't erase my capacity for being attracted to men. But I want NOTHING to do with men... Ever. In my life. Because I'm in love with a woman. I always choose her. To have a bi woman only choose a woman is not biphobic and does not erase her sexuality. How many of the people attacking @heinoushangar are actually bisexual who have dated the same gender I wonder? I think actual bisexuals would understand?

However, I know often other bisexuals don’t understand my experience at all. Most bisexuals have only had the opportunity to date the opposite gender. Frankly, a lot of bisexuals are homophobic. Bisexuals clueless about what it is to date the same gender make it hard for me, a bisexual, to be in any bisexual spaces lol. I’m not calling anyone who is attacking @heinoushangar homophobic but homophobia is definitely is a thing that happens a lot in bi communities.

I’ve been a tumblr user since before 2011 (i had an older personal blog I remade) and my interest in being here has never been lower. I can recongize this complete disinterest is unusual for me.

I have TONS of muse for writing (I’ve spent the last few days writing fanfic mostly) but no interest in writing on this website! And this feeling has been lasting. I keep thinking any day now I’ll feel like answering my rps on another blog I’m more active with but I just ain’t feeling the inspiration. Normally even when I can’t rp on tumblr I still WANT to.... but I don’t want to.

Maybe the urge will come back. But I’m going to be making more effort to learn discord.... Maybe I’ll enjoy rping there instead and maybe I won’t come back here.....

I figured it’d be fair to post a warning so if I do a GOODBYE FOREVER it won’t be too sudden.