Human. Astronaut. Natural Born Loser.

there is not a unit of time currently in existence small enough that it could accurately measure just how fast archer would kill tuvix

It’s so awesome that these start out as scenarios that he controls as a way to communicate with Harvey and almost immediately becomes Harvey creating elaborate settings that he then forcibly pulls John into. Even in his own mind there is no boundary John has that won’t get crossed

btw archer’s shaking post canon purse chihuahua is named darcy

darcy is absolutely like. a nightmare rescue dog. archer loves her so much that he ignores any and all flaws and also takes her everywhere and everyone is like admiral archer please stop taking your weird, constantly fear-pissing dog to important diplomatic meetings whose ramifications could ripple outwards for centuries and he’s like well she GETS SCARED. SHE DOESNT LIKE TO BE ALONE. Naturally she hates almost everyone but Archer and refuses all physical contact unless she’s the one initiating. She and T’Pol have a tentative truce but she has a VENDETTA against Shran

Season 2 has been on such an incredible trauma hot streak. Scully getting re-abducted by a death fetishist -> Mulder and Scully almost getting killed by devil worshippers -> Mulder and Scully almost getting killed by voodoo magic -> Mulder being reunited with sister only for her to die only for her to actually never been his sister at all. So much going on in like a month. They needed this haunted zoo adventure.

Well Mulder just got punched in the face by a gorilla.