I'm voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for President and Vice President of the United States.
And you should too.
Because voting for a dumbfuck like Trump is not only the worst thing you can possibly do in your life, but also the worst thing you can do in the lives of everyone you know, past, present, and future--especially for women.
And anyone who chooses not to vote and cede their voice can fuck off. This election is way too important to abdicate basic-ass civic responsibility, electoral college be damned. Even if the top of the ticket is determined, elections matter most when they're local, and congressional seats are just as important as the Presidential race.
And if you're wondering why nothing ever gets done, it's because there's a certain party in Congress whose mission is to obstruct and sabotage the fuck out of everything for political capital. They give no shits about getting anything done. Their raison d'etre is to prevent anything from ever getting done because that's how they stay in power.
Moreover, things always change. People are always moving and states that used to be a sure thing are now up for grabs. When you make it a habit of not voting, don't be shocked when shit goes sideways when you least expect it.
It's why it confounds me why some of my friends, who are fathers of young daughters, are not 100% voting for Harris. I can only think of the shame their daughters will feel when they learn of their father's deeds, and as to why, I don't know, but they clearly don't give two fucks about their children's future.
Refusing to vote does not make your conscience any clearer, nor your hands any cleaner than anyone else's. It simply makes you a bystander watching on as people suffer, and if you'll actually dumb enough to think that you're not next in line afterwards, then I have a fucking bridge to sell you.
Not voting is an act of absolute cowardice. Voting third-party is an act of willful ignorance. And voting for Trump is an act of sheer malice.
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I don't know if I've officially announced it, but I'm presently in the process of rewriting Mister Cinderella. I've written some things down but now I'm trying to organize everything into Scrivener.
This is something new I'm trying, at least in regards to my stories. I've spent the last couple years dealing with workflows, kanban boards, spreadsheets, and all sorts of annoying BS at work. From this experience, I've learned that I'm a very meticulous sort of fellow, and applying this approach to story writing may generate tangible results.
However, my plan is to only update once everything is complete. I ain't about that update-as-I-go life anymore. I want everything to be ready to go as soon as I make my comeback announcement, and nothing would kill my momentum more than a disappearing act moments after my grand entrance. If I'm gonna be coming back, I'd better be bringing something big to prove it.
Mister Cinderella has become a testbed for learning Scrivener. The more I dig into it, the more I'm digging its features. Being able to move scenes around willy-nilly or bring up reference cards for characters, settings, and themes across multiple windows fits very much into my modus operandi. I find it easier to set up foreshadowing and callbacks, maintain thematic consistency, and just make the whole thing a lot more structurally sound.
I've reached a point where I feel like I'm making steady progress, so I've started looking ahead for what's next on the horizon. Besides MC, there's only one other story that I haven't finished in my FF.net profile, and that's Best Deceptions Redux. The last update was July 2014, which means it's been more than 8 years. That's a helluva long time.
After a brief flirtation with Ranma 1/2 and Evangelion in middle/high school, it was Best Deceptions that pulled me back into the fanfiction writing game and it made poetic sense to close out my run with the story that started it all.
We go back even further and the original has been dead for much longer -- since 2006. That's over 16 years, twice as long as my neglect. Methinks the story is cursed since it failed to cross the finish line twice -- but I suppose getting a second wind is more than most stories get if we talk about the massive graveyard of unfinished fics floating about the internet.
Since I wanted a refresher course, I tried to look up the original story but it's been gone for a long, long time -- and I mean gone. The profile for the original author has been done and dusted, with nary a trace left behind. Imagine my sheer panic that the story I'm trying to remake no longer exists. Well, shit.
But didn't we encounter this exact situation not too long ago? Luckily, an enterprising individual requested that I recover a story that I long since buried, and I was able to exhume its corpse thanks to the foresight of preservationists who backed up FF.net's entire story database.
To my abject horror, I could not find it after searching in the "K" archive. I gave it a couple more tries and eventually resigned myself to thinking that I'd have to depend solely on my faint memories to finish the tale. I went to bed, weighed down by the prospect of trying to complete a story that no longer exists.
Next day arrives and I search for it again. Found it. Turns out, I was looking in the wrong folder. You'd think a story that was never completed would be in the "In Progress" folder, but since the original author officially discontinued it, they marked it as "Complete". Now that's just confusing, not to mention, the archive has multiple folders for Kingdom Hearts (because of the crossover categories).
I backed that shit up immediately. Since the original author deleted everything, I could now claim sole ownership over the plot and firmly declare "I made this".
Obviously, I'm not as unscrupulous as to take credit for something I didn't make, but I do find it funny that I credit a writer that can no longer be found by conventional means. There's no way for readers to unearth this mysterious original "Best Deceptions" that I mentioned unless they go through the effort that I did. I might archive it publically on my profile somewhere if I ever get started on this final story, but for now, I'll hold on to it as reference material for my version.
I always thought that the internet was a place where everything is recorded forever, but the state of data is much more precarious than we think, and that has been demonstrated multiple times over the years with the loss of huge websites that are forever doomed to be remembered by a cache image.
Someone sent me a message last year warning me that FF.net could potentially be closing down and suggested that I repost my stories on AO3 or archive them somewhere. As far as I know, FF.net is still up, but who knows how long that will last? Although I've been lucky enough to recover two long-lost fics thought to be destroyed, it makes sense to make a backup while the opportunity is still there -- just in case.
Some people are logical while others are free spirits, and then there are those who can be both. I'd like to count myself as one of them. You'd think a freewheeling endeavor such as writing would bear little similarity to something as rigid as coding, but as someone who kind of does both for a living, there's actually a lot of crossover.
Code does not work if you're missing a key element and the same applies to story writing. If you don't take the time to lay down the foundation and build up the thematic elements brick by brick, your big money scene will lack the oomph to really move readers.
As much as I want to sit down, be struck by a bolt of inspiration, and start pumping out pages of content by sheer force of artistic will, some semblance of structure is required to make everything fit together perfectly.
I've used many different writing tools over the years, from an old-school typewriter to my phone, and new tools and software are constantly being developed. While there are enduring masterpieces of storytelling that were born from a simple quill and inkpot, that doesn't mean you can't produce something equally as compelling by taking full advantage of today's technology.
We no longer have to carry around a notebook and pen (unless you're analog like that, which I'm sure some old souls still are) because our phones offer everything we need to put our thoughts into words. However, I'm beginning to feel the limits of my current setup.
I used to use MS Word to write, but ever since it went on subscription, I jumped ship to Google Docs. Then once I got an iPhone, I started using Apple Notes. Still, each of these 3 platforms share a critical weakness insofar as they offer no integrated support for structuring and outlining stories like you could with a good ol' fashioned corkscrew board and index cards.
While searching for better writing software, I landed on an app called Scrivener. I just started the tutorial, but this thing seems quite deep so far, which can be intimidating for some. As a lifelong gamer, digging into the mechanics is something I do every time I load up a new title, so a little learning curve doesn't scare me.
I've always considered myself more advanced than a newbie but not as in-depth as a professional. I've always gotten my skill level to a point where people would come to me for advice even though, in my mind, the things they're asking about are so easy to grasp that even a caveman can do it.
There's a weird disconnect and feeling of imposter syndrome when certain things come easy while other people seem to have the darndest time trying to wrap their heads around it, and it makes you wonder if you're living in a parallel universe where easy shit is hard, and everything else is backwards.
You're only as good as your tools, and depending on what you use, you may get stuck or go even higher. How many peoples' potential have lain dormant because the tool needed to unlock it hasn't been made yet? That's why I'm always looking for something better because there's no reason to think that my current state is the most optimal.
My experience has shown me that the vast majority of people are surprisingly hesitant and unadventurous, and because of that, they risk being left behind. That sort of conservative approach just doesn't cut it these days.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, they say, but if you can go even faster and harder with less effort, why not give it a shot?
After a bit of internet sleuthing, I found that someone had archived everything on FF.net up until 2016 here.
I thought it was a long shot, but I went ahead and downloaded 5 gigs of old-ass fics in the "P" category. I opened it up and tried searching for my story but it didn't show up.
Just to make sure, I tried searching manually by scrolling through the txt files. I wasn't making much progress, so I tried the search bar again and it finally appeared. Guess I just had to wait for it to index.
Funny to think that I'd go through all this effort to recover this little piece of almost lost history. It was not at all how I envisioned today going, but I'm glad I went through the effort.
Since it was in a txt file, I had to do some minor reformatting to get those bolds and italics back. Aside from that, I did no changes.
I don't think I ever explained the reasoning behind the title. It's a combination of a meme born from Sony's infamous 2006 PS3 press conference and the battle track from Persona 3.
So, I present a long-deleted never-completed fanfic of mine:
Attack Weak Point for Mass Destruction
Category: Persona Series
Genre: Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress (DEAD)
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-06-13
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,331
Chapter 1: A Leader's Responsibility
Yu Narukami opened his eyes to a pleasant sight.
It was just the ceiling, but it was familiar. After the ordeal he went through, something as ordinary as the ceiling was oddly comforting. The silver-haired youth was on his bed, enjoying the soft feel of his mattress. He hadn't relaxed like this in a long time. The case was now solved and there was nothing more to do other than enjoy his remaining time here in Inaba. He, along with his group of close friends, discovered the true culprit behind the serial murders and beat the crap out of it. The town was saved from a foggy demise and everything was back to normal.
There would be no more victims, no more mysteries, and no more battles, just three months, or twelve weeks, or eighty days of free time. He still had school, but compared to those days of investigating, chasing down leads, and enacting rescue operations, school might as well be vacation.
It was hard to believe that eight months could go by so quickly. It seemed just like yesterday when he arrived at Yasoinaba Station, greeted by his uncle and adorable little cousin. He was definitely going to miss this place. Even if it was short, it was truly the happiest period of his life.
He was a little worried though. With no more mystery to solve, what was there to do? As stressful as it was to fight shadows, it was also extremely rewarding. Nothing could match that feeling of victorious satisfaction from smiting a mighty foe. With no more enemies to fight, it was hard to get excited. For all he knew, this was the peak of his life. What there anything to look forward to after saving the world?
The thought was a little depressing, but he allowed himself a small smile. The world wasn't lacking in mysteries, heck, he was surrounded by them. The end of one journey was just the start of another.
His friends, no matter how much time he spent with them, continued to surprise. Eight months was hardly enough to learn everything about a person, even if he already saw their darkest secrets revealed. That was just one part of them though, and there was more to people than their dark sides. What about their hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and everything in between? He recalled the words his junior, Rise Kujikawa, once told him:
"Senpai, I really admire your strength. I think you're the perfect leader. You have no weaknesses at all!"
She always heaped unhealthy amounts of praise on him, but this was one of the few times she actually meant it. His ability to wield multiple personas ensured that his weaknesses could very well become his strength the next moment. He had long ago memorized the weaknesses of each of his friends; he wouldn't be an effective leader otherwise, but it was a different story outside of battle. What about their weaknesses as people?
His smile widened into a grin. He finally found it; his next mission. Before he came to Inaba, he was always moving from place to place because of his parents. He never had a chance to really make friends. He was afraid of being alone.
Because of them, that changed. They turned his weaknessāhis fearāinto his strength. He could freely admit that he was happy now. It was an honest and refreshing feeling. He owed them for that. It was his turn to repay the favor. He would help his friends the same way they helped him, and turn their weak spots into points of pride.
Enough lying around; he got up from bed and walked over to his desk. He opened a drawer and picked up a dart. He kept it as a memento from the Port Island school trip. He tossed it towards the ceiling and without looking, snatched it out of the air quite easily. He took aim at the dartboard across the room, and with a quick flick of his wrist, the dart flew true.
Bullseye.
"Attack weak point for mass destruction."
He knew what he had to do.
It was, after all, a leader's responsibility.
Chapter 2: Like A DragonĀ Ā
Chie Satonaka tapped her foot nervously.
When she woke up this morning, she definitely did not expect to be greeted with a text message from Yu, especially when it said:
Come over to my place today afternoon.
After convincing herself that he probably sent the same message to their whole group, she finally left the house and showed up at his doorstep only to discover that she was the only one there. What could this mean? From the street, it was amusing to see this girl fret to and fro in front of the apartment. She wasn't wearing her usual track sweater, and instead, opted for something more feminine than usual. It was hard scrounging up something that didn't scream "tomboy," but she managed somehow. It was a light, airy, and sleeveless blouseāsomething she would never wear if it wasn't for the situation.
She smacked herself on the head. Snap out of it, Chie! This was no time to be fantasizing. It wasn't like he was interested in her or anything. Why would he when he was surrounded by so many girls much prettier than her? She was starting to feel stupid. What was she getting so excited for? She should probably just go back home and switch into her normal clothes since it'd be awkward if he saw her in this outfit andā
"Ah, you're here."
She recoiled from his sudden appearance. She wasn't even ready yet! Yu's welcoming smile was the last thing she wanted to see, even if it made her warm in the face. "H-hey there," she stammered. She instinctively crossed her arms to shield herself from his curious gaze.
"You look cute today," he complimented.
"Sh-shut up!" What was wrong with her? The words made her happy, but she just had to lash out like that. She mentally cursed herself. This was why she never got anywhere.
He wasn't fazed at all. "Come on in."
Okay Chie, just take it one step at a time. She entered the familiar home. She had visited tons of times before, so why was she so nervous today? "Where's Nanako-chan?" she asked.
"She's with my uncle. It's just you and me here."
"Just us...alone?" Her heart sped up a little. She slapped herself lightly on the cheek to calm herself down. Her imagination was getting the best of her. "So uh...why'd you invite me over today?" she squeaked.
"Have a seat," he implored. She complied, sitting down at the dining room table. She watched as he opened the refrigerator, pulled out a package from the freezer, and held it up for her to see. It was a packet of beef. "Surprise," he said, grinning.
"Is thatā!" Her mouth was already starting to water. Steak personally grilled by Yu? Could the day get any better?
"Yup. And you're the one cooking it."
"Huh? W-wait a minute, are you serious?"
Yu's face didn't budge a single inch. "Of course."
"You're joking, right? You're a much better cook than I am." And as much as she hated to admit it, her cooking skills were beyond abysmal. She would never be able to do the meat justice. "So you should just cook it yourself, and besides, it looks pretty expensive, and I don't want you to be wasting your money..."
He ignored her as she prattled on more excuses as to why she shouldn't cook. Honestly, he agreed with all of them, but that wasn't the point.
Mystery Food X.
Even the name gave him chills. His stomach groaned at the memory. Mystery Food X turned him off to curry for months. It was amazing how she was able to invert the very essence of cooking, turning sustenance into death. It wasn't fair to push all of Mystery Food X's failures on Chie alone, but Yukiko had been making earnest attempts to improve her cooking since, and she had an army of chefs to help her out at the inn.
Chie was a different story though. Yosuke would never again touch anything she ever made, and everyone else was less than willing to taste test for her. Her opportunities to improve were limited. Since he was the best cook out of all of them, and she the worst, it made sense for him to teach her. That wasn't the only reason though. Out of everyone, she was the one he owed the most.
To this day, he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that she extended her hand to him in friendship. He was used to transferring in and out quietly, but Chie decided to step in and save him from King's Moron's fury, and even invited him to walk home with her and Yukiko on his first day. It might've been because he was a city boy in a small town, or she was just being polite, but whatever the reason, and he was forever grateful to her.
So it fell on him to make sure that she wouldn't kill anyone the next time she cooked.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," he admonished. "That's why I'm here, to teach you."
Her eyes widened. "You want to teach me? But..."
He smiled at her. "Don't you want to learn how?"
Of course she did! She never thought too much about it, but after the lunches Yu made for her, she realized how happy a meal could make a person. Receiving a well-cooked lunch was, in her opinion, the greatest gift she could ever receive, especially if it was steak! But the thought of subjecting Yu to her awful cooking made her wince. What if she never improved? What if he got so frustrated with her that he'd just give up? There were so many things that could go wrong. "Are you sure you want to? What if I don't get better?"
He patted her on the head. "Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll stick with you until you can make something so delicious, even Yosuke will praise you for it."
It was condescending to be patted on the head, but if it was Yu, well... She blushed. He always had a knack with words. "Okay...I'll trust you then."
"Let's get started."
When it came to learning how to cook, it was best to start with a favorite dish. He figured if he started with steak, Chie would pick it up quickly. It also helped that steak was a relatively simple dish to prepare.
"Alright!" she yelped, clenching her fists. She was hyped now. She wasn't confident in her skills, but with Yu here with her, she felt like she could do anything. "So what's the first step?"
He was glad to see her so enthusiastic, it would make things easier. "Have you ever cooked steak before?"
"No, but it shouldn't be too hard. Don't you just nuke it in the microwave?" He just stared at her in awe. "Uhā¦is that wrong?"
"Steak is grilled," he explained.
She slapped her hand with her fist. "Ah! That's right! I totally forgot."
He was beginning to see why she was so bad at cooking. "You're not entirely wrong though. You can still use a microwave to thaw the meat, but lucky for you, I already thawed some out. But before we do anything, we have to make the marinade."
She perked up at that. "Ohhh, you mean the sauce!"
"Exactly. I have all the ingredients here, so let me tell you what they are: ginger, garlic, soy sauce, sugar, and sake. The first step in cooking is making sure that you have all the right ingredients." He grimaced as he recalled his time at the grocery store in Junes, when Chie and Yukiko decided to pick up anything that sounded remotely relevant to their planned meal. "The number one most important rule is to never, ever, stray from the recipe."
She chuckled uncomfortably. "Sorry about that, butā"
"No buts. You have a cell phone, don't you? Look up the recipes and make sure you have the right ingredients. There's really no excuse in this day and age."
"Okay, okay, I get it! Get the right ingredients."
"It's the number one rule." He grabbed a ginger root and a spoon. "Next, we have to prepare the ingredients. First things first, we peel the skin."
So that was what ginger looked like; she had no idea. It looked like a pale, skinny, and lumpy potato. He broke off a piece and handed her one. "What do I do with this?" she wondered.
"You take the spoon and scrape off the skin." He demonstrated by deftly moving his hands up and down, the skin disappearing with each stroke.
"Whoa!" she said in amazement.
"Give it a try," he encouraged.
She took the spoon hesitantly. Could she really do this? Yu's gentle smile gave her all the courage she needed. "Here I go!" She smashed the spoon into the root, causing it to splinter into useless bits. "Ohā¦was that too strong?"
"Maybe a little, noādefinitely too strong." He handed her another piece of root since the other one was demolished beyond all repair. "Don't put so much force into it. Do it lightly this time."
"Got it!" She psyched herself up again and started scraping with much less forceāactually, with hardly any force. She was barely grazing the surface. "It's not working!"
"Okay, here's my advice. Remember what you did before, when you did it too strongly?" She nodded. "And right now, you're doing it too lightly, so try to do it in between. Not too strong and not too light."
"It's working!" she gasped. The skin was finally peeling off. "That was some great advice!"
Some people needed the obvious to be pointed out for them. "Yeahā¦okay, next, I want you to pick up a knife andā"
"A knife? Couldn't you just, you know, smash the ginger into pieces with your hand?" It sounded just like her to smash things. Unfortunately, food was not made through martial arts, although it would be great for tenderizing meat. For everything else, a delicate touch was required, which could only be achieved through precision tools like knives.
"It's impossible to dice ginger with your hands."
"You don't know that! I once saw in a movie that you can cut vegetables with the right techniques."
"There's a big difference betweenāokay, so let's just say that you can. Are you saying you know how?"
"Noā¦" she answered quietly.
"Then that means you have to do it like everyone else, and that's with a knife."
"Iā¦" Damn it, this was so embarrassing! She knew the second he offered to teach her that this would come up, but she didn't think that it would actually come up.
"What's wrong?"
The normally excitable Chie suddenly turned into a scared kitten before his eyes. "I'm afraid of knives," she admitted.
"You're afraid of knives?" he repeated. Wait, that didn't make sense. She cooked things before, how did she do it without a knife? When he thought about it though, it actually did make sense. Yukiko probably handled all the cutting at the school campout, and a knife wasn't necessary to make an omeletāthe same goes for cake. Then all this time, she was trying to cook without using a knife? He tried to look at Chie but she hid her face.
"You can laugh now."
He still had a lot to learn about her. After all this time and he had no idea. She hid it pretty damn well. "Why didn't you say anything about my katana, or even Yosuke's knives?"
"Th-that's completely different! And I trust you guys, so it's fine butā¦ When I was kid, I was in the kitchen one time. I saw the knife on the counter, got curious, and ended up cutting myself by accident. I've been afraid of knives since," she confessed. It was a simple story, but just because it was simple didn't make it any less impactful. It was hard to let go of childhood fears, so he could understand. He always wondered why she used her feet in battle instead of a weapon, but this explained everything. "It's impossible for me to hold a knife."
"You'll never get any better at cooking unless you confront your fear," he stated bluntly.
"Aren't there like tons of dishes out there that don't require cutting?"
"Are you running away? That's not like you, Chie."
"I'm not! I'm justā¦avoiding it."
"It's the same thing," he said, sighing. He grabbed a knife and held it up. "Do you mind?"
She shook her head. "I trust you so it's fine."
"In that caseā¦" He put himself behind her and grabbed her hand.
"W-what are you doing?" He was too close! She could practically feel the heat radiating from his body.
"Do you trust me?"
"Iā" She resisted the urge to elbow his side and flip him over the table. "Of course I do."
"Then grab the knife," he ordered.
"I can't!"
"You can." He led her hand towards the knife. "Hold it and I'll make sure you don't cut yourself. Let me guide you."
She could spend her whole life running away from knives, or she could face her fear and hold the damn thing. How pathetic. She was cowering in front of him. How weak could she be?
"You're strong Chie. That's why I know that you can face this with no problem. Compared to what we've been through, a little knife isn't going to scare you, is it?" He was right behind her, and his overwhelming presence was enough to override her anxiety for the moment.
Before she knew it, she found herself holding a knife. "AH!" She let go but a firm hand covered hers, preventing it from dropping.
"Don't let go," he warned.
She was completely frozen, and it had nothing to do with the knife, but everything to do with his hand on hers.
Yu had no clue about Chie's fried brain and continued to hold tightly. If she trusted him with a katana, then surely she wouldn't protest if he was there to guide her? It wasn't just her, they were both holding the knife, and there was no way he was going to allow an accident to happen. "Are you okay?"
"You're so mean," she whimpered.
The comment drew laughter from the boy. "That's fine, as long you get over your fear. Just concentrate on holding the knife, and I'll handle the rest."
Yu's hand was large, engulfing hers easily, and warm. She felt like crying. This was so embarrassing, and her hands were starting to get clammy too. "S-sorry for sweat," she apologized weakly. He seemed to ignore it and continued guiding her. His grasp was gentle and left small tingles on her skin.
She shut her eyes. This was just a dream. Yeah, that was it. She must be daydreaming. Any moment now and she'd snap out of it. There was no way this was happening for real. The sound of the blade clacking against the cutting board continued to ring in her ears. Any time nowā¦ Wake up. Wake up, damn it!
"I knew you could do it."
She opened her eyes and saw the ginger was minced. "I did?" She looked at her hand and it was indeed by itself. Just when did he let go? She could've sworn he was still holding her. Was she imagining his warmth? He really was amazing. He made her forget all about the knife. The only thing on her mind was his touch. She smiled in relief. "Can you help me cut the garlic now?" she pleaded.
"Huh? But youā"
"One time isn't enough, idiot! You think I can get over my fear that easily? So, hurry up and hold the knife already!"
He let out a soft smile. It was probably too much to hope that Chie could get over her aichmophobia with a simple trick. He gripped her hand again and found her unusually pliant this time. She must've found her motivation. "Alright, let's do this again."
After they finished cutting up the garlic, they blended the rest of the ingredients together to make a rich teriyaki sauce. Chie dipped her finger in the bowl and gave it a taste. "Wow! This is great stuff."
"You should be proud; you made it."
"We made it," she corrected. "And you did most of the work."
He laughed. It was hard getting her to accept credit. "Now, all we have to do is let the steak marinade in the fridge for a couple hours and after that, it's grilling time."
"Woohoo! I can't wait!" She threw her arms in the air in excitement. "So what now?"
He shrugged. "Whatever you want."
"Whatever Iā" Get a hold yourself, Chie, he didn't mean it like that. "Then let's uhā¦go watch some TV!" She hopped over to the living room and turned on the tube.
Yu followed her and took a seat by the low table. "Anything good on?"
She flipped through the channels until she saw a guy get kicked in the face. Whenever something like that happened on TV, that was when she knew she found something good. She turned to Yu. "Oh, do you like these kinds of movies? I can change the channel if you want."
He shook his head. "I don't mind."
"Awesome!"
It was a martial arts marathon, with hours upon hours of glorious punching, kicking, and acrobatics. Chie got pretty into it, but when the marathon ended, it was finally time to cook.
Yu showed her how to set up the grill and took out the marinated steaks. They were cut in thin slices. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a pack of bamboo skewers. "Now for the easy part. Just stick these through the steak and let it grill for a minute."
"Gotcha." She took a skewer and stabbed it through, forcing the meat to crumple and fold magnificently on the stick. If she could, she'd eat it right now.
They were in the middle of grilling when Dojima and Nanako came home. "Something smells good!" Nanako cried out.
Dojima looked into the kitchen. "Wow, steaks? What's the occasion?"
Yu thought about it for a second. "New Years?"
"Good enough for me," the detective laughed. "Come on Nanako, let's go wash our hands."
"Yay, steak!" The little girl's celebrations drew a kind gaze from Yu..
"I think I'm finished," Chie alerted.
Yu came over and inspected the slice. It was grilled to perfection. "Why don't you try it out?"
"Here I go!" She stuffed it into her mouth and chewed. It wasā¦ "Delicious!"
"It tastes better knowing that you made it, doesn't it?"
She agreed. It was the best steak she ever had. "Thanks a lot, Yu. Honestly, I decided to give up on cooking butā¦ I guess I'm not as hopeless as I thought."
Yu took a fresh skewer off the grill and tried one for himself. It tasted satisfying. "I always wondered why you said 'pudding' instead of 'steak.'"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"The beauty pageant."
"Ugh, don't remind me." So she lied. Wasn't pudding more feminine than steak? It was the only reason she answered "pudding" as her favorite food during the pageant.
"There's nothing wrong with liking steak. It's pretty classy, I think," he told her.
"Really, you think so too?" she said excitedly. She knew Yu would understand!
"And it fits you perfectly."
"Whaā" What was he trying to say about her?
"Sh-shut up you idiot!"
He laughed out loud. Something about being called idiot by Chie made him happy. "Alright, I wonder what we should make nextā¦"
"W-Wait, isn't steak enough?"
"Of course not. Beef is expensive. Are you going to be making steak every time you cook for yourself? "
"Iā¦" Wait, what was she complaining for? This meant she could spend more time with him! "I'll be happy to learn. Just you wait; I'll make you something so good, you'll say WOW! After all, the student always surpasses the master."
"I look forward to it." He grinned when a brilliant thought struck him. "Oh, I got it! How about I teach you how to make chocolate-covered grasshoppers?"
"IDIOT!"
Chapter 3: The Bro CodeĀ Ā
Yu looked over his shoulder to see his best friend, Yosuke Hanamura, with his face down against the desk.
It was a familiar sight, and one that drew regular criticism from teachers. They chalked it up to laziness, but it was really because of his job at Junes. It wasn't easy being the manager's son. Fortunately, it was lunch time.
Yu debated whether or not to wake him up. Yosuke didn't appreciate it whenever he was roused from much-needed sleep, but on the other hand, he didn't like waking up on an empty stomach either. As he contemplated this conundrum, Yu's eyes fell on the headphones around Yosuke's neck.
He always wonderedā¦ What exactly was the point of those headphones? They weren't very functional considering its bulkiness, so he assumed it was some sort of fashion statement, but was that really the reason? Yu took this opportunity to find out. He grabbed the headphones and pulled them off carefully. Even though he wasn't expecting much, he put it on to see what was playingāif anything.
"āmust exude extreme confidence. It requires patience and a certain mindset. One cannot be deterred by fear or niggling insecurities. You must push them aside and focus on the reality in front of you, for the essence of swag can only be achieved throughā"
The headphones were suddenly ripped away.
"Whoa! What are you doing?" Yosuke shouted, now awake. He held the headphones protectively close. "D-Did you hear anything?" A bead of sweat ran down his neck.
Yu tilted his head curiously. What the heck did he just listen to? "Something about swag?"
The entire class instinctively turned to Yu the second he mentioned "swag." He was surprised by the sudden attention.
Yosuke looked around nervously and stood up. "Let's go to the rooftop," he suggested, wanting to escape from the probing stares.
"Sure."
The duo left the classroom and climbed to the rooftop. They sat down at their usual spot. Yosuke set his back against the fence and smiled in embarassment. "Well this is awkward," he laughed. "I guess I can't hide it anymore."
"What were you listening to?"
"Since it's you, I'll tell you. Before I do that though, uh, you wouldn't happen to have a spare lunch, do you?" He mustered his brightest grin, as if it would increase his chances of receiving food.
Yu returned the smile. "Actually, I do."
"Seriously? You're the best, partner!"
The silver youth produced a strange looking lunchbox and offered it to Yosuke. It was a green box with streaks of yellow on the sides. It reminded Yosuke of something, but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was fancier than the usual plain box Yuu gave him. "Did you buy a new box?"
"Something like that," he answered, chuckling eerily afterwards.
"I guess it doesn't matter. It's what's on the inside that counts, right?" He took off the lid, snapped the chopsticks apart, and started digging in. He shoved the food into his mouth with as much delicacy as a starving pig. It wasn't until after several minutes of chewing did he realize that something was off.
"Something wrong?"
Yosuke gulped. "Well, not exactly. It tastes kind of weird. Don't get me wrong, it's still good, but just not up to your usual standard. I guess even you have your bad days, huh?"
"Really? Chie's going be happy to hear that."
He paused as he tried to parse that statement. "What does Chie have to do with anything?"
"She's the one who made your lunch."
His eyes almost popped out of its sockets. "WHAT!" He looked at the lunchbox again, but this time, with extra caution. He finally realized how sloppy it looked. Yu's presentation was normally neat and immaculate, but this was messy and screamed "amateur!" Despite that, it tasted pretty decent, and that alone was enough to question Yu's statement. "You're joking."
"I'm not," Yu rebutted, chuckling at his friend's disbelief. "That is 100% Chie's cooking."
He couldn't believe it. "How is this even possible?" Chie and cooking went together like Naoto and dresses. They just didn't mix.
"I've been teaching her how to cook," he revealed.
"Damn. You're amazing. To think you can turn the worst cook in Inaba into a halfway decent one... Is there anything you can't do?"
He didn't buy into the flattery. It wasn't like he did anything special. "Actually, I wasn't sure if I did a good job teaching her. To be honest, I was afraid to try it myself. I'm glad to hear it's good though."
"Hold up, are you saying you didn't test this before serving me?"
Yu shoved his hands into his pockets and averted his gaze. "It's the first time she made something without my supervision. I wasn't sure how it would turn out so..."
"I was just your guinea pig? That is so not cool, man! I can't believe you put my life in danger like that!"
It was a little dramatic, even by Yosuke's standards. "It turned out fine in the end, didn't it?"
"That's not that point, it's justāugh, never mind. I guess you're right, but next time, a little warning would be nice."
"But you never would've tried it if I told you."
He couldn't argue with that. "Let's just forget about it."
Yu smirked. He'd have to remember to tell Chie about this later. Yosuke would never admit it to her face that he found her cooking passable. She probably preferred to hear it was delicious, but it was baby steps for her. At least she was getting better. "So, about this essence of swag thing..."
Yosuke started choking on a piece of carrot. He slapped his chest a couple times to force it down. "Ack! Dude, don't bring that stuff up out of the blue!"
"I thought we were talking about it?"
"Wait until I finish my lunch," he pleaded. Yu was certainly pushing his buttons today. If Yosuke didn't know any better, he could've sworn Yu was just picking on him. He wolfed down the rest of the lunch in record time. It wasn't too hard since there wasn't much to savor.
"Finished?"
There were no more excuses left. He couldn't stall anymore. He would just have to tell him the truth. "Okay, just promise you won't laugh at me."
Yu considered those words carefully. "I promise."
Yosuke took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. "At Junes, we sell all kinds of things. Whenever I help out, I usually don't do the same thing twice. So one day, I find myself in the CD section. There was a fresh shipment that needed stocking and I...heh, I guess there's really no good way to put this, but I found a series of self-help CDs."
"Self-help CDs?"
"Yeah... You know, stuff like Simplifying Your Life or How to Control Your Anger."
"I never knew you had anger issues," the silver boy joked.
"I don't, but one of the CDs stood out to me. It was called The Essence of Swag. You can go ahead and laugh now." He had to admit, it sounded ridiculous, but he wanted to become more confident, like Yu, who made it look so easy. He just wanted some of that swag for himself.
Yu blinked. Why would he laugh? It wasn't like he never resorted to books to improve his social skills. He had a whole of library of self-help guides, so he understood completely. "There's nothing wrong with that. I've done the same before."
"Really?" Yosuke was shocked. Wasn't Yu just a natural pimp?
The silver-haired boy nodded. "Maybe if you weren't so busy looking for my secret stash that doesn't exist; you would've noticed the stack of books on my shelf. I could let you borrow some if you want."
Yosuke waved his hands. "Nah, that's fine. I prefer to listen to my books, but thanks for offering. And I just know you have a stash somewhere, so don't even pretend you don't have one."
"So, why the sudden interest in self-improvement?" he asked, ignoring the last quip.
"It wasn't really sudden; it's been on my mind sinceā¦Saki-senpai."
A moment of silence for the dead.
"We never really had a chance to just relax," Yosuke continued. "We were always in the middle of investigating or fighting. I was kind of glad for it. It took my mind off things. But with the case solved, I figured it was time for a change. I think it's only now that I can say I've finally gotten over her. There are still things I don't like about myself, so I'm trying to do something about it."
Hearing that brought a smile to Yu's face. Yosuke seemed to have found an answer for himself. "That's great to hear."
"But man, this sucks. I thought I would've had a girlfriend by now. This wasn't how I imagined high school."
The silver-haired teenager laughed. At least Yosuke wasn't lacking in effort despite falling flat half the timeāokay, all the time. "It'll happen. Just be patient."
"I sure hope so. I'm 0 for 2. Yukiko turned me down flat and Rise's all over you," he grumbled.
"Rise's just playing around," Yu excused. "It doesn't really mean anything."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, partner."
"What about Chie? Or even Naoto?" Yu brought up. It seemed odd to exclude them as candidates for girlfriend material.
The brunet let out a snort. "I like my girls to be, you know, girls." If they ever heard that, he'd probably get kicked in the face followed with a bullet to the forehead.
"Isn't that kind of harsh? I think they're both cute myself."
"I didn't expect them to be your taste."
"They're all cute to me," he declared diplomatically. He felt lucky to be even friends with them, and they were all attractive in their own way.
"I guess they are. Manā¦ It's nice to just talk about girls like this. You're really the only one I can talk to about this stuff. Kanji probably doesn't have any clue about girls, and Teddieāwell, the less said about him the better. I know I asked you this before, butā¦ Is there anyone you like?"
Yu never gave it too much thought. It was enough to be surrounded by friends. He didn't need anything more than that. But since Yosuke asked nicely, he might as well give him an answer. "You."
"W-What? Dude! That is not funny!" He grabbed his own shoulders and shivered. "Don't even joke about things like that!"
Yu laughed out loud. Yosuke was too easy to tease. He and Kanji shared more similarities than Yosuke would care to admit. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now. You guys are good enough for me." As long as he wasn't alone, he was fine.
"Ha. You say that now, but one day it'll hit you. You're a lucky guy though. You probably won't have any problems at all."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He gave Yu an incredulous look. "It doesn't really need to be explained, you lucky bastard."
Yu was completely baffled by Yosuke's attack. "Thanks?"
"Enough about that, I just got the most brilliant idea!" he yelled, changing the topic.
"What's that?"
"Let's hit up Okina City this Sunday!"
Rise had taken Yu to Okina City on occasion, so he knew the place. There wasn't anything there that they couldn't find in the shopping district. "What are we going to do there?"
"What else? To pick up chicks, of course! Think about it. There's no more mystery to solve and we have a whole three months ahead of us. It's time to let loose and have some fun. I can't do this by myself. Can you be my wingman?" It sounded like a proposal. He even pulled out his puppy dog face for extra persuasion.
It had zero effect, but it was proof of his desperation, and Yu wasn't that cruel. He was free that weekend, so why not? "Alright then, it's a date."
Yosuke immediately grimaced. "Dude, don't say it like that!"
Chapter 4: Airheaded PrincessĀ Ā
Yukiko Amagi, manager-in-training and heir to the Amagi Inn, was trying to clear her head.
Whenever she was stressed, she liked to go to her favorite spot, the pavilion near the Samegawa riverbank. The place wasn't anything special. It was a small roof over a bench made out of cheap wood, but it offered an ample view of nature and her favorite animal: the birds. There were plenty of them here, and watching them fly soothed her tumultuous mind.
Running an inn was hard work. It seemed impossible to juggle so many different responsibilities simultaneously, but her mother made it look easy. Everybody at the inn was eager to help, and for that, Yukiko was grateful, but there was one thing she couldn't do no matter how much support the staff offered, and that was entertaining the guests.
Her mother was a natural. She could coax a laugh out of the staunchest stone-faced customer with a single sentence. Yukiko's training helped her to improve in many areas, but she was still awkward around people. Other than be polite, she couldn't see herself as a host. It was a task beyond her abilities.
She was knocked out of her thoughts when she spotted Yu walking home by himself. His appearance struck her with a bolt of inspiration. Perhaps he could help?
"Leader!" she called out.
His head snapped to her, surprised by the shout out, and his eyes lit up. "Good afternoon. Another stressful day at work?" he greeted back.
Yukiko smiled shyly. The fact that he accurately guessed her situation made her feel warm. She wondered if his memory was just that good, or if he cared for her more than he let on. She shook her head; now was not the time to let daydreams lull her into an awkward silence. Yu was someone she could trust, so she had no problems going to him for help. That was the only reason she called out to him. "Um, can I ask you something?"
The silver-haired boy took a seat next to her and folded his hands. A brief wave of nostalgia hit him. This was how they first met outside of school. The more things changed, the more things stayed the same. He wouldn't have it any other way. "Of course. What is it?"
She fidgeted nervously. Just how was she going to say this? Forget it; she'd just say it plainly. "Am I funny?"
"How do you mean?" he asked back, perplexed. It was an odd question coming from her.
"Do I make you laugh?" she clarified.
"In what way?" he answered, still confused.
"I mean..." She sighed. His inability to reply properly was all the answer she needed. "Never mind. Sorry for asking you something strange." Her shoulders drooped in resignation.
Yu wouldn't let it go that easily. It was clear that this was bothering her. It was his job as leader to make sure she was okay. He had an idea, but he wanted to make sure that it was correct before offering advice. "When you say funny, do you mean like a comedian?"
Her eyes widened. Those were the exact words floating on the tip of her tongue. "That's exactly it," she confirmed happily. She hated trying to spell out things for other people, especially when it involved something embarrassing.
"In that case... No."
Instant KO! She was crushed. All her hopes and dreamsā¦dashed, just like that. Where was the delicacy? "Really?"
"I don't think being funny fits your image." He meant it as a compliment, but the heiress didn't see it that way.
"I guess it's impossible for me after all," she said tiredly, feeling depressed.
He got the feeling that he missed the mark. "Do you want to be funny?"
She turned red. "When you put it like that..." It sounded dumb and childish, but yeah, that was the gist of it.
He thought of her as the type to laugh than make others laugh, not that the bar for setting off her laughter was particularly high, but she never gave any indication that she wanted to be an entertainer. To be funny seemed to go against her shy personality, but it did make a lot of sense. Shy people don't want to be shy, and the best way to be friendlier is to become funnier. "What is this for?" he asked.
"It's for running the inn. I can greet customers and act polite, but there's more to it than that. I have to be a great host as well. Unfortunately, I'm not very good with people I don't know..."
He didn't doubt that Yukiko would make a great manager, but her social skills left something to be desired when it came to strangers. Comedy was perhaps one way to fix that problem. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not funny either."
When he thought about it, the ones who were funniest were probably Yosuke, Teddie, and KanjiāYosuke because he's such a spaz, Teddie because he says ridiculous things without realizing what they really mean, and Kanji because he gets worked up over the smallest things. The common thread that tied them together was that they didn't mean to be funny; it was just a happy byproduct of their personalities.
"Is there a way to become funnier?" she wondered. She wracked her brain for solutions but never got anywhere.
"Why don't you wear those special glasses?" he asked, referring to the joke nose and mustache rims.
Yukiko began giggling at the mental image of greeting guests with that getup. "I c-can't do that," she squeezed out between her giggles.
Yu crossed his arms and hummed to himself, probing his mind for ideas. "Do you know any jokes?"
"No." And she regretted it. Obviously, the most natural step was to learn some jokes. Why didn't she think of that before? "Do you know any?" she asked eagerly. She needed to hear some examples first.
He wasn't expecting her to turn the tables on him. "Uh... Not really," he admitted weakly. The thought of making people laugh was hard to fathom. He was a rather grim character before arriving here. He only lightened up because of Yosuke, Chie, and the others. Besides, there was more to comedy than telling jokes. "You can tell funny stories too."
The suggestion wasn't any better. It required funny stories, which she wasn't brimming with, and even if she was, she didn't have faith in her storytelling abilities. "I don't know any."
"Remember our camping trip?"
She cringed. "Ugh. Please don't bring up bad memories."
It was horrible at the time, but he recalled that day with fondness. Bad memories tend to get funnier over time. He could understand her reluctance to use that story though. "Okay, so you can't do jokes and you can't do stories, what else is there?"
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She should just give up. "Why is this so hard?" she muttered.
Yu was thinking the same thing. People shouldn't go out of their way to be funny, it should occur naturally. It required a quick and witty mind. When he thought about it, Naoto would probably make a brilliant comedian. Her intelligence was well-suited to snarky quips. "You should act clumsy and trip over yourself a few times. That should be good for a laugh."
"I can't do that!" she protested strongly.
And that was why he wasn't a comedian. "I wasn't serious," he sighed. He violated the first rule of a good joke: they should never have to be explained.
"Oh," she let out, frowning. "Sorry. I thoughtā¦"
They both went silent. What a miserable conversation. They had gone nowhere and instead reminded themselves of how terrible they were at making others laugh. He might've been overthinking this. How about going back to the basics? "Yukiko, look at me."
"Huh?" The odd request set her heart a flutter. She deliberately turned her head slowly, wondering what could possibly be in store for her. To her surprise, Yu had the dumbest-looking grin on his face. His cheeks were abnormally high, his eyes squished into slits, and his mouth was wide open with his tongue hanging out. "Hrnkā" She tried to clamp her mouth shut but the laughter burst through anyways. "BWAHAHAHA! What kind of face is that?" she squeezed out between gasps. To see the calm Yu with such a ridiculous smile was too amazing. He looked like a bad drawing by a five-year old come to life. It was over; she was a lost cause now.
He didn't know whether to feel embarrassed for himself or for Yukiko. What he did wasn't very clever, but she always seemed to have a soft spot for the dumb stuffālike Teddie. Her laughter was infectious though, and it was hard not to get caught up in her pace. He found himself joining her.
That was it! He figured out how she could make others laugh. "You don't have to be funny," he realized.
She calmed down when she heard those words. "What do you mean?"
"It's hard to be funny. It's not impossible, but it's not something people can just do. You're better off not trying." As leader, he never failed to provide such poignant and discouraging remarks. Way to comfort her, leader. "If you want to entertain your guests, you should just be yourself."
"Be myself?" she echoed. She wasn't sure how that advice would apply. The problem was that her normal self wasn't funny to begin with.
Yu nodded. "It's simple. Don't try to make the customer laugh, but let the customer make you laugh."
"Let the customer make me laugh..." She never thought of it that way. She always focused on being polite, butā¦ "I don't get itā¦"
"Everybody likes to think that they're funny. When you laugh at their jokes, they feel good about themselves. Everybody wants to be a comedian," he explained. When Yukiko laughed at his dumb joke, it made him feel pretty awesome.
If that was the case, "Then did I make you feel good?" she asked. She went into fits of laughter a lot, but she never considered that it could make somebody feel "good." Suddenly, she realized how her question sounded. "W-Wait, I meanā"
"Of course. You made me feel great," he complimented, grinning.
Hearing that gave her a lot of confidence. She felt elated. Those words, coming from Yu, meant a lot to her. "I thinkāI understand what you mean now. Thank you for the advice."
"It's no problem. Just keep on laughing. It makes the world a better place," he joked.
"If you want me to keep laughing, then you should do more funny things," she shot back, feeling her troubles fly away.
That was more like it. Yukiko was a lot more fun when she was confident. "Way to put me on the spot. Let me thinkā¦ Oh, I got one. What does Chie ask for when she's thirsty?"
"Uhhā¦" She had no idea. It was an intriguing setup, considering it involved someone they knew. "I give up."
"Watah!"
"Snrk." It was a dumb joke, very stupid, basic, and lacked any kind of sophistication. Butā¦ "BWHAHAHAHAHA!"
Same poster as the last one, apologize massively for the spam, feel free to ignore/delete if this is annoying and I message wrong. I seem to remember a story of yours from a few years ago on FF, Attack Weak Point for Massive Destruction? It was a Persona fic, which I wasn't into at the time, but I've since done my due diligence and played P3P, P3FES, P4G, and both P5s. Is that story still up anywhere? I'd be very interested in reading a fic by you based on that universe. Thanks for your writing!
UPDATE: It was lost but now found! Read here.
I did a quick look through my archives but it no longer exists anywhere. It never had much traction to begin with, and I distinctly remember it not going anywhere really, so you're not missing much. I think I erased it from existence to prevent myself from ever looking back, but now I'm a little bummed that I didn't at least have a backup somewhere.
My archives do contain some pretty interesting discarded ideas for properties like Gundam Seed, Attack on Titan, and Code Geass, but those will never see the light of day.
This now remains the only record that something ever existed.
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Hey Jomatto! I'm a longtime fan and I just wanted to express my appreciation and admiration for your work. I read an impressive amount of mostly terrible, occasionally amazing KH fanfiction as a teen and you were far and away the most interesting storyteller and technically proficient writer I was lucky enough to chance upon. I made it a habit of checking your FF page and blog every few months for the past decade, always glad to see you're still kickin'. Looking forward to whatever you do next.
I'm flattered that there are people out there who like my stories enough to keep tabs on me. I'd left me for dead in all honesty.
For this year, I decided to set aside around 10 minutes a day solely for writing. Some days are good, and some are bad, and I've been feeling a little rusty.
I've been watching a lot of Cobra Kai lately, almost near the end of the third season, and it's been hitting me good, so I've been taking notes, trying to gather inspiration wherever I can. It has the sort of vibe that I'm aiming for in my next story -- a good mix of humor, drama, and heartfelt emotion.
Itās been one week since I finished Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, andĀ āI Really Want to Stay at Your Houseā is STILL looping in my head and on my speakers. Iām not the biggest fan of the series, but even I have to concede that it ended on the highest possible note, all thanks to that scene with the song. It single-handedly elevated the entire show and justified its existence.
For me, all stories start with a scene. Everything from the setting, plot and supporting cast is simply a means to get to that moment. I feel like that scene from Edgerunners falls into that category. It reminds me of that scene from Weathering with You, when they fall from the sky and "Grand Escape" starts playing. It's another instance of the perfect marriage of epic visuals and banging music.
The similarities don't end there. They both have a boy and a girl holding on to each other while sailing through the air. It's this very scene that partly inspired me to get back into writing because I wanted to recreate that feeling that jolted through my body as I watched it.
Whether I can do it...remains to be seen.
In either case, they are both songs that I kick ass at in Beat Saber.
I spent most of yesterday playing around with ChatGPT since its impact has been making rounds in the headlines. I canāt deny that it does amazing in some specialized tasks like writing SEO copy, and I wanted to know how it would fare in more creative endeavors.Ā
The assault of machine learning on once thought unassailable institutions of human ingenuity such as writing, art, and music, has presented cracks in some long held beliefs in the uniqueness of humanity. We might scoff and point to one too many fingers as evidence of a machineās inability to address things that only a human can, but given the exponential development of machine learning, the day in which we can readily identify theĀ āsoulā in a work may soon be ending much more quickly than we realize. It is both an exciting and exceedingly frightening time to be in.
Iāve never been one to shy away from technology. Back when I was kid, I used a typewriter, literal imprinting of ink on paper, to write my stories. Today? I use a mix of voice dictation and typing on my iPad with my documents stored on the cloud, so things have changed quite a bit when it comes to my process. AI seemingly looms as the next frontier. While itās no secret that our capitalist overlords are salivating at the thought of rendering large swaths of the working population obsolete, perhaps we can reclaim some of our autonomy through those very same tools.Ā
Iāve always dreamed of creating my own anime, and it may not be a pipedream that a single individual can produce the art, design, animation, voice, and music all on their own through machine-learning. Putting aside, of course, the ethical breach of how these datasets are acquired and the deprecation of art, reduced to a mere data point in an array of many.
With all these things in mind, just how sophisticated is ChatGPT today and how worried should I be as a writer that my ass would soon be replaced by a bot?Ā
I started out my experiments with some simple prompts. I asked it to write me a love story with elements A, B, and C. To my surprise, it was able to write out a self-contained and complete narrative from start to finish. In mere seconds, it managed to accomplish more than 50% of the dreck that adorns the pages of FanFiction.net.Ā
But that thing we callĀ āsoulā was distinctly missing. Now, not to say that anything written by a person is imbued with this nebulous quality, but to put it simply, what ChatGPT wrote was boring, cookie-cutter, and generic. Now detractors will immediately point to this as an abject failure of machine learning, but I decided to change up my approach. The age old adage of how much you get very much applies here. The results are only as good as your prompts. One of the things I wanted to test was its memory.
I established characters, assigning them traits and idiosyncrasies, and then put the characters in situations where these elements would collide. The bot spit out perfectly coherent scenarios with all the variables provided. I was very impressed by the results.
I would ask for dialogue, conversations, monologues, and descriptive passages. On its own, these small snippets wouldnāt be very valuable, but it can serve as building blocks to something greater. I was able to bounce ideas off the bot and it would occasionally provide me with inspiration.
So I continued changing my prompts, keying in on small details, while zooming out and asking for possible overarching themes and ideas. To sum up my conclusion: ChatGPT can be an amazing writing tool. It almost feels like having your very own personal editor.Ā
Perhaps its greatest value is in research, figuring details about locations, cultures, and other fields. Say, for instance, youāve set a story in a different country and you have no idea about its customs, or perhaps one of the characters is in an occupation and you donāt have much clue in what their day-to-day entails.Ā ChatGPT can fill in those gaps.Ā
While Iām sure that some of the details wonāt stand up to scrutiny from true professionals, it would very much pass the smell test for the majority. For the purposes of writing fiction, it is more than enough.Ā Ā
In regards to FanFiction, ChatGPT is like the ultimate lore master and wiki guide. If thereās something you need to know, you can just ask it and it may reply with startling accuracy. For funsies, I asked it to proofread some badly written stories and it managed to make it readable. This stuff is crazy, yo.
There is one caveat though, ChatGPT is prohibited from giving you anything sexually suggestive, so donāt expect it to be your instant lemon/lime generator. Yāall gonna have to do that the good olā fashioned way.
To answer the question, ChatGPT is not creative enough to stand on its own, but can be a huge boon to writers who know how to use it well. Should my ass be worried? Itās hard to tell at the rate machine learning is developing, but I believe my writerās ass should be good for at least a couple more years.Ā
Now that Iāve starting writing again, one of the things Iāve realized about story crafting is the importance of things that arenāt on the page. Iām talking about the background, setting, motivations, and stuff that isnāt explicitly spelled out or even alluded to in the narrative.Ā
Whatās interesting is that this process is not dissimilar to that of self-discovery. As I ruminate more on the particulars, new threads begin to emerge that tie things together. These threads donāt sprout out of nowhere. Iāve no doubt that a part me birthed these details from my experiences, but it takes work to disentangle them and weave it into the story.Ā
Starting out, I have these ideas that are far from each other and I need to figure out a way to bridge the gap. I try to tie them together with flimsy strings, and I wonder if itāll even hold. But I as work at it more and more, the ideas, once disparate, start coming closer and closer, and the ties that bind, slowly, but surely, become stronger with each supporting thread. Itās quite exciting. Iāve missed this feeling. It feels good to experience it again.Ā
Iāve never been one for New Yearās resolutions. Iāve always felt that they were tacky, and they were more of a statement of intent rather than a guiding principle that had any real teeth. But Iāve been quiet for so long that I feel like itās time to break character.
These days, I find a sort of beauty in incompleteness. Thereās this trend of people who loathe to start a new Netflix series unless it already has a couple seasons under their belt because of the ever present threat of cancellation. Being able to produce an entire season of television is a notable achievement even if dangling plot threads and sequel hooks never get a chance to go anywhere. Getting that far is more than most of us can even dare to dream.Ā
The act of creation is a miracle. To even try at all is commendable. That is why I have learned to accept that I have stories that probably wonāt ever be finished.Ā If I can accept that incomplete can be beautiful, then thereās no reason to stop myself from creating more just because I havenāt finished what Iāve started.
So my goal for 2023 is not to create new endings, but to create for the sake of creating because thereās joy to be had in the process, and while people may lament that some of these stories may never find a satisfying conclusion, I think that we can all learn to enjoy the scenery and be surprised by just how far we can get from the mere act of walking boldly and confidently to an uncertain destination.
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Do you ever think youāll get into writing again? When I started reading FanFiction I was a junior or so in high school. Now 25, itās been about 3 years since Iāve been actively reading them. Youāre pretty much the only one Iād be interested in reading. Even if it was an original story, and not a fan fic. I guess my question is, would you ever post another story?
While I try not to dwell on the few outstanding stories left languishing on the shelf, I am repeatedly reminded of them every time I get into a story from someone else -- and that can be anything, whether it be games, manga, film, TV, or whatever.
I'm always thinking of ways to finish them, whether it's rewriting them from scratch or wrapping it up like a mangaka forced to cancel their series, but in the end, I can't decide because the direction I want to go in is constantly changing with my present perspective.
So to answer your question about whether more writing will happen in the future? Definitely. While I'd love to just drop them and move on with my life, clearly, there's a part of me that feels unsatisfied with the current state of affairs. Even if it takes me a few more months or even a few more years to find the perfect ending, I cannot, in good conscience, just leave that shit dangling for the rest of time.
Even just answering this question is starting to fire off some creative sparks, and I can't lie, I'm starting to feel that itch. It may not amount to anything in the end, but you've certainly achieved something by asking.
Don't be surprised if, all of a sudden, you'd get an alert from an old ass story of mine. On the other hand, don't hold your breath for it. Either way, I'm happy you asked!
After quite some time, I think Iāve finally managed to modify my consumption from binge to piecemeal. Thereās not enough hours in a day to see everything to the end, but we can at least take a few steps each day until we get there.Ā
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Fuck off 2020, and donāt look back. The only good thing that happened was Trump losing, the Lakers chipping, and the PS5 dropping. Everything else was shit.Ā
Covid-19 aināt gonna magically disappear just because itās the new year, but hopefully things will get better.Ā
