Rochester poems as The Onion headlines: A Satyr on Charles II

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@johnrochester
Rochester poems as The Onion headlines: A Satyr on Charles II

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Make me choose » toistaiseksii asked Cersei or Brienne?
//But remember when John Wilmot was featured in this film about highwaymen and he wore that purple hat and had an eyebrow piercing?

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A letter from Rochester to his mother.
//You know what annoys me about my theme?
You can't see the writing under gifsets/photosets without clicking on the hyperlink. Why theme. Why?
John that's a plastic deer.
Oh look who's alive.
“And why, pray tell, have you decided to do this?”
“I don’t know… I was so ready to be a mum before Lex… I just thought I could do it, and I want to prove it.”
“I see. Well we could have a child if you ever wanted another of your own.”
“I honestly thought about it but then I remember that I would slowly get bigger and bigger for nine months then have to push a human being out of a place where no human being should ever be pushed out again… so, that put me off. But yeah, something to consider.”
"It's true, you would do more work than me in the arrangement."
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are leaving Rolling Stones gig | 27.03

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Oh look who's alive.
“Well I’m glad, anyway I’m just looking into it right now, haven’t decided.”
“And why, pray tell, have you decided to do this?”
“I don’t know… I was so ready to be a mum before Lex… I just thought I could do it, and I want to prove it.”
"I see. Well we could have a child if you ever wanted another of your own."
Oh look who's alive.
“I am rather fond of children as a rule. Well mine, but I think I shall cope.”
“Well I’m glad, anyway I’m just looking into it right now, haven’t decided.”
"And why, pray tell, have you decided to do this?"
“The revival of the theatre. What with all these movie stars getting involved, and the commercial success of my work. I know the answer at least - it’s all this reality television, no one wants to pay to watch reality.”
“Well I’d love to do a piece on it. Vogue isn’t all about...
"I am rather fond of children as a rule. Well mine, but I think I shall cope."
Oh look who's alive.
“Interesting… what’s it even on?”
“The revival of the theatre. What with all these movie stars getting involved, and the commercial success of my work. I know the answer at least - it’s all this reality television, no one wants to pay to watch reality.”
“Well I’d love to do a piece on it. Vogue isn’t all about fashion you know.”
"You should, and you do of course have the advantage of being able to throw things at me until I hive sensible answers, the Times lady has no such privileges."
Oh look who's alive.
“What magazine is that?”
“The Telegraph or the Times or Tatler… It began with a T, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Interesting… what’s it even on?”
"The revival of the theatre. What with all these movie stars getting involved, and the commercial success of my work. I know the answer at least - it's all this reality television, no one wants to pay to watch reality."

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“Look, Wilmot! What a lovely pineapple. And I know exactly where to put it.” “Oh, Charlie!!”
//NGL I laughed
Oh look who's alive.
“I can’t imagine not working, it’s all I do nowadays.”
“I suppose the plays are the most work, because I have to deal with actors. And some woman wants to interview me for some magazine or another…”
“What magazine is that?”
"The Telegraph or the Times or Tatler... It began with a T, I wasn't paying attention."