07.50am, a day I cannot remember now, I have awoken and meditated, reaching a lucid state of realisation that the moment is here to write with flow, about how I am feeling about what I am doing, what my various intentions are, what my recent experiences have shown me, and have begun to teach me, and even, as i write, what lessons may appear and I may seek out ā¦ such as how to structure a piece of writing. The following face woke me up, my goddamned editor on my case
*Hello darlings! Ainsley, Ainsley Harriot here- world famous chef and seller of quick cook rice meals, plus honoured editor in chief here, apologies in advance for lack of any structure, I think Joe has gone for something a little more fluid, itās very much Ready Steady Write, donāt be alarmed but do try to follow..) This dude, Ainsley, has not exactly appeared in my meditations ā but is somewhat symbolic of my ego, butting in so early..
āWriting is about freedomā ā Judy Bloom
Sunset after the Silent Retreat
āWe must speak as sunlight, so our words go straight to the heartā ā Chief Cochise
Warm Up, Open Up, Presence and Gratitude
What is your favourite room in your house? I am sitting, (via visualisationĀ rather than hallucination).. in the kitchen of Om Shanti Comunidad, thinking aboutā¦.Ā ā¦. Amber (above left), I cannot remember what we cooked that day but the Naan bread you made was pretty special wasnāt it? Thank you so much for listening and sharing. You made me feel at home here š Anna: meditating and then blessing the kitchen before we started and cooking together for the people, took the connection and the faith in the universe to the next level,Ā I learned so much by listening, watching and following you and grateful to you for sharing what you learned, but to share this experience with you that particular day, I felt I had found a place more within the home, within the family, that I had arrived, that I felt both comfortable and so energised. Beautiful Joyce and Gabby.. so much i learned from you ā keeping it simple, breads beautiful aesthetic, direct, honest salads, saucy onion soups especially and your individual styles.. and all the cooks I was in there with,Ā Boris and Sarah ā your connection with prasad and how you brought yoga and its teachings into the kitchen, through presence ā what I am practicing here ā Ā your presentation, simplicity, deliciousness and love; Floris ā your relaxed, ever calm, presence always concocting kombuchas and kefirs and the best rosemary roast veggies ever, Paulinaās presence and enthusiasm and light, Davidās Mexican Parties and love of the hammer, your effort, like you say like the Mexican Donkeyl Romina, your library of expressions and sharp lightness of humour, Yeshua your Moroccan influence and beautiful song playing, Ā and lastly the inspiration of Rheanna.. These words are for you, to say thank you for making my experience at Om Shanti so enriching. I have left so much out, but it is your love and inspiration that drive me to share the experience, and through it inspire others. I think a lot has to do with the experience of cooking with you though. The kitchen work for me was often really challenging because of inexperience and assumptions about āhow to cookā but ultimately, Ā so inspiring when I learned to to learn to ālet goā of preconceptions on how āit had to be doneā. Time, the present moment always offers opportunities for gratitude, and the kitchen is so full of it really. Hmm, so grateful for this experience, to offer work and food, feed our family here, all the yoga teacher trainees, the visiting yogis and yoginis and all our guests delicious,Ā yogic, healthy, natural, simple, beautiful vegetarian,Ā mostly vegan food, so that they could experience the beauty and transformational power of yoga.
Ā This is another very special kitchen in my life. I am thinking now.. how cooking works? ā¦the use of resources.. like the forgotten peelers. Forgotten in the sense that we rarely give any gratitude to a lowly peeler. And forgotten in the sense that so often the peeler would go missing, its home forgotten, that it could have even had a home, where it too would feel safe, and loved. And peelers break all the time, and we think, they are shoddily made, we blame the manufacturer or the shop for stocking cheaply manufactured goods, but really, are we patient and loving enough with our lowly peelers?
A beautiful poem: The Cinnamon Peeler
How do we begin cooking? What can I apply from that that will help me write? This is what I want to surrender to, to discover and transmitā¦ I am already letting go of preconceived ideas, Iām not writing a plan, at least if I have I have no idea where it is right now.. I should discover the ingredients for the meals no? Look at what tools I have available? Here I am ā in the kitchen of writing, Ā I want to make a banquet for you to read. I have some idea now of the journey and ingredients I think will taste good and make you interested and healthy, ok. Come back to the present moment and let go of all expectations, and let the universe flow through you.
Ā Meditate With Me, Be Present With Me
Meditate with me a little, before I go and look and see what we have toĀ cook and play with today.
Letās close our eyes, and take 3, long, deep breaths, breathing in vital oxygen and letting it reach all parts of our body, diffusing slowly through our entire being and out through our skin with each exhalation. Think, how are we feeling right now? How, and where is our mind?Ā Bring the attention to this moment, and this place, feel yourself grounded to the earth through your feet or bottom, and feel also the air of the sky holding you. Bring the attention to the area of the chest where the heart, feel your heart. Observe the breath. Observe the gaps between the breaths. Let go of any control of the breath. Let go of all control, and just be
Letās chant one Om together.
Feel the vibration of this eternal echo, as your mouth closes leaving your ears to listen, to the subtle vibration of that very same Om, the one Om, returning back to us, everything around us that listened to us, now also resonating with this sacred frequency.
Continuing the awareness of the present moment, Ā of our breath, keeping our eyes gently closed to thoughts but open to read and listen, I want to share with you that I donāt know quite what I am writing now or going to write, what you are about to read, but I am grateful you are here with me and that you made it this far. We can let go of expectations for the moment, of how long is this going to be, this is a good practice too. I am very grateful to be able to share with you my experiences: the ingredients in the kitchen and the meal that are becoming this article that I am going to offer to you, of what life has been like at Om Shanti.
I am grateful to the path that led me there, especially Rustic Retreats (.eu) and Conscious Earth Farm down in Murcia and Andalucia respectively), about which I will not write. You can take a moment joining me ā¦ being thankful for everything we cannot remember now in this moment, it is there but hidden, because there is so much.. too much to see or be aware of, but that has still made us who we are, and that still makes us beautiful ā Tashi Delek ā you make me beautiful. I am grateful to be writing, for my hands and this ageing mac, grateful for these eyes. I am grateful for this moment.
āThe best way to find yourself, is through the service of othersā ā Mahatma Ghandi
The intention here is to write a piece that gives an authentic account of experience at Om Shanti Comunidad, that encourages readers to try things that will benefit their health and happiness, because I benefitted so much from my time there already, that encourages yogi readers to come and visit or seek out their own communities, where people work together with each other and with nature, placing less stress on the resources of the planet, explore the vast experience of humanity that lies way way way beyond money, career, being managed and all the rest of it. The approach attempts to progress without attachment to the result of the work, of the writing, without identifying myself as the writer, the ādoerā, to offer it to help and benefit others.
So letās take a look around the kitchen and in the fridge and storeroomā¦ hmm what we have is a lot of the following, ooh that is interesting i forgot about you, will come back to you laterā¦ hmmm okā¦ now iām thinking, hmm how is this gonna taste with all these incredible ingredients, I dont want to put them all together when i cook. So separate meals for sure.Ā *Ainsley here again dears, yes I am indeed the editor and guru de Joe: JOE!Keep it simple Joe, you are still in the introduction after all!!:)
āVeggiesā wise ā oh people are like vegetables, vegetables can be the memories AND peopleā¦. and there is a mirror with some weird shit going on that I am going to talk about later, there is shitloads of Healthy and Reverential Yoga to mention ā Atha Yoganasasunam, NOW letās get to yoga ā Yoga,Ā so endless and so diverse, it touches on every moment and aspect of life positively.. singing, dancing, meditating, intellect, asanaā¦ what an incredible flavour, the seasoning.. Yoga is to work with here ā at least what I can taste of it ā I really want it to come through in this dish, through all the senses, and it really works well with these tasty flavours you get from the Community ā the humanity, the Ā listening, the work the love, the patience, forgiveness, friendship, the full on in your faceness and having to deal with other people AND your own insecurities and stale, not so nice flavours.
There is a river flowing around this kitchen, and through it right down the middle. There is a waterfall by the fridge, and the golden fields of crops where the farmer is nurturing his soil are all around us. The crops have yielded fruit and those fruits have yielded seeds that continue the forward movement of life for all. The seeds awake beneath a little soil, after a little rain. High above the sun is getting even higher, sending its energy many gazillions of miles to us. How lucky we are to be able to receiving and retain this energy and convert it, ultimately into the life we lead.. for some people I am reminded that this life revolves around their city job, commuting, Call of Duty, Porsches, maybe constantly fighting with life etc.
Herbs.. (still with the kitchen metaphor..), we have bunches of Letting Go,Ā bags of Friendship, bowls Love Circles, packs of Epiphanies on Communication, Photos and Beauty for decoration and some trickier items to work such as Anger, Repression, Habit Patterns from previous lives ā i guess I could call them previous kitchens.
Ah yes it seems a some previous cooks left a lot of their unwanted habit patterns in this cupboard here too, and i actually thought they were mine. It doesnāt matter ā I am gonna clean this cupboard now, letās get rid of these judgements with a big a wipe down, they will drip back for sure ā wow ā did I really take that one personally? What a waste of time and energy for me ā wow this dirt of self pity. Ā it is clean for now.. OH MY GOODNESS THIS WHOLE Ā kitchen is actually bit of a s***hole ā I need to deep clean it ā I took a lot of things personally in my life when I really was just being egotistical? My ego took all this stuff personally! Ā Suddenly I cannot see the walls of the kitchen for all the dirt, now I can see this grime all over them, and I can see through the dirt to the walls behind. All my self-punishment, the self-pity is there, all the rejection that I felt because of my ignorant reactions and FEARS. It is like when I first stepped in to this kitchen and while I washed a cucumber, Ā Sarah and Boris and Anna would make an incredible sauce in a split seconds. How I both feared and craved the knowledge of the holy hand blender, of the bread baking. I can see the fear, I can feel it, I am not running away or repressing it, I am accepting it is there as an expression of how I was, and how I am. In this moment I do nothing else other than relax, observe, and now move on to cook. Hello clean walls of the True Kitchen Self. Ok, In the spice rack we have to give it some pep some the Moon, Feminity, Masculinity, Sex, Cacau, some mystery bottles Ā .. It is a reasonable well equipped kitchen with tools to use, the meditation oven which I have already turned on of course, awareness, the scissors are missing, but sharp knives that feel like Presence, Gratitude, Awareness, Compassion. Ā They too will get blunt and dirty and need cleaning.
Isvara Pranidhana & Breakfast with Boris
Isvara Pranidhana Let the Universe flow through you, in a sweet surrender, to the supreme and ultimate end, that is beyond the river of your current consciousness, you cannot see all,Ā neither upstream past the bend, nor the downstream beyond the waterfall, but onward you go with its current, whether you like it, or not, smilingly, carried by the firm beauty of lifeās water and all the universeās love and power and jokes.
Surrender to whatever your ego is saying to fight against.. let your attachments to your own ideas go, and let the wisdom that is beyond you, guide you without your ego having to sign everything off. I learned, and practiced, and experienced, and understood this in the kitchen. It first happened when cooking an Om Shanti breakfast alone for the first time: to let go of .. all my fears of the hand blender, of timings, quantities, about cooking for 25 people, the desires to impress them, to get the menu unique. The second time I did breakfast alone, I had to write it BIG on the fridge: ISVARA PRANIDHANA. I added a tree so I could add all the other 9 Yamas and Niyama. I stuck an Om symbol in the middle so my friends would be less tempted to wipe it off, I gave the tree deep deep roots (thanks to this man for the inspirationĀ Kaypacha) and a lovely river to feed the tree, father sun and some wind and clouds to keep the climate moving. This art alone flowed as an expression of self without ego or attachment ā Ā it just came out and it rocked. Things just work out better that way. This is so counter intuitive to anyone with a āstandard western educationā, because we learn, we were taught, only to think in a very limited way, and have to go to eastern philosophies to learn more about the expanses, the power, of the mind, of the reality of the mind. To many , the mind and ego are the same thing and the same as consciousness. I used to see no difference, because I didnāt understand, It was just easier to think of them all as the same. It is a bit like saying a motorcycle is just a motorcycle. The consequences of letting go in this way, ae many, but I felt you have less time for fear, and that simply means more joy and presence in what you are doing, seeing things deeper. In my case this means Ā end up talking to all the objects and making friends with them, like the Peelers, Perry and Patti, but I mainly do this when I am alone; and singing. It also means you donāt worry in the minutes or hours before working.
Anywho (this means anyway to non native English speakers) , it took several weeks from me joining the community until the Great Rota in the Sky (David), requested me (via FB messenger) to cook one dawnĀ for the YTTC (Yoga Teacher Training Course trainees). It had been a long long time since I had helped Boris make breakfast back in April. Boris had not exactly needed my help at the time, or at any time that morning, he had it totally covered. He had this canny ability of creating something in seconds whilst I Ā filled the kettle, maintaining total cleanliness as he went, and also reminding me that the kettle had boiled a few mins ago now. I would turn my back and suddenly the Orange Couscous was ready. I searched for a suitable knife to cut a melon and suddenly and vibrant chocolate nut salsa had appeared. In that morning I thought that I hadnāt learned to do anything other than ask a select question or two (I had to be very picky) because I didnāt want to annoy Boris and I felt I had only limited capacity to retain a few ideas. Before Boris departed the community, I took the chance to watch Boris make the much loved sourdough bread. I watched him use a spoon, he said add flour and water to get it like a warm butter consistency, top up the sour dough cultureā¦ and he told me the temperature and timing for the oven which i forgot. And then came the wait to actually make the bread myself.. several weeks!
In time, I learned the lessons others had learned of cooking in the karma yoga way, via the influence of Boris and Sarah.. āDonāt taste!ā Boris was apparently to have said. āDirty corners, dirty mindā he would also say about keeping things, not just the kitchen clean, practising the Niyama of Saucha ā purity or cleanliness. This is counter intuitive to anything some of us will have seen on Cooking TV!Ā
So I tried to follow Borisā advice, I stopped tasting the food all the time. I didnāt realise itā¦ or more to the point, my ego didnāt realise what was happening: my ego was being circumvented. The outcomes were at first glance subtle, but rather profound. The food didnāt appear to be any different, but it tasted great. I offered it the work feeling merely as a vehicle, or part of the process of eating, that tasted good. The faith in something other than my āego / selfā Ā seemed to be growing, and gave a warm friendly feeling. Each time I refrained from tasting, I made space to appreciate what the qualities were of the ingredients I was using. To feel, where the flow of the process was going, and not falling back on the conditioned way of cooking: with recipes etc. I was tapping into my subconscious understanding of cooking, andĀ learning somehow that faith in myself is also the same as faith in the universe. St AugustineĀ was an interesing chap who discussed free will, but he had nothing on my mate and dear Camino friend Francois who sahred this amazing quote of his own i think that goes something like āIf āTo be or not to be is the question, then is it that āTo be and not to be is the answer? ā ā Francois went on to I think say, āChaos, order, chaos out of order, order out of chaosā.. and we arrived in Santiago de Compostella an hour later. My point is that our free will is both independent of, and guided by the universeās own (free) will.Tat Svam Asi. Ommmm.
Take a look at the full breakfast I made here please š
Our website ā Om Shanti Comunidad
Set on the lower clay slopes of 800m high Catalan hills an hour north of Barcelona, reaching out to a valley ringed with limestone cliffs and escarpements, Om Shanti Comunidad is a community of yoga teachers and karma yogis. Based in Mazunte, Mexico until Summer 2017, the fluid community now lives in a 400 year old estate house with space for 20-25 people. We are surrounded by Mother Nature: waterfalls, natural swimming pools, meditation caves, mixed forest, thyme, rosemary, herbs, figs, pomegranate, deer, wild pigs and wild cats. Most of the year, rolling yoga retreats are offered ā you can visit for any period of time you want āĀ click here for the formal advert āĀ and join a regular daily schedule of morning Hatha yoga and evening workshops, and get well fed with a delicious low sugar balanced, veggie/vegan and sattvic buffet 3 times a day.Ā It is good value in my opinion at 260ish euros or so for a dorm bed for 3 nights, when you consider all that is included in that setting. The yoga teachers are vey experienced, and the consistency of the hatha yoga morning practice is balanced out varied fun workshops in the evening. June and August this year have been set aside for accredited yoga teacher trainings. How did I come by the place? I decided back in February that I wanted to join a yoga centre for 2 months and continueĀ karma yogaĀ ( including a work exchange meaning accommodation and food would be provided). I researched 20-30 places in Catalonia, shortlisted a couple, and after a couple of more random enquiries that came back quickly and positively, I came across Om Shanti and wrote a very quick, but detailed clear open email directly, not through any of the normal volunteer websites. I was looking for authentic yoga. The profiles of all the teachers in the community really drew me in ā their extensive and varied experience in yoga, meditation, Vipassana and India, for many years, plus the diversity of the people from around the world: Latin America, Russia, UK, Catalonia, Spain, Poland, Belgium, Netherlands. I knew the community setup would give the chance to cook more, to work on my communication, compassion, to give and to meet new people. The vast majority of other centres I found were luxury focussed or Barcelona based, and I knew they would have higher demands from owners with less time and less presence. Happily, I got a quick and warm reply welcoming me with the words āwelcome to your homeā and simply signed Ommmmmmmmm. I arrived 26th April.
Thanks to Paul Crudgington for these 3 photosā¦ This is the Yurt
Thanks to Paul Crudgington for these 3 photosā¦ view from the balcony
Thanks to Paul Crudgington for these 3 photosā¦ Dining Room
The Karma Yogis in Summer 2018
Yogachitta Vritti Nirodha and The Silent Retreat
Patanjaliās Sutra 2 in the Samadhi Pada statesĀ Yoga is the blocking of the patterns of the mind. During my time at Om Shanti ( 3 months +)Ā I have begun to directly observe with much more clarity these various patterns of my mind, when in meditation ( it is a LOT harder when going about your daily lives, but that is the major goal isnāt it). The technique that has helped me most Ā is Hridayaās spiritual heart awakening meditation, that we learned and practised during the Silent Retreat at Om Shanti this summer (there is another one, click here for details in September) and taught by the wonderul Paulina and Floris (again see Om Shanti Bioās). It is a meditation with definate stages. We begin with steadying the mind with simple counting of the breath in groups of 7, observing gaps between the breath, then the gaps between thoughts, taking the awareness from the breath and thoughts, to the spiritual heart area, just feeling, and then asking the self enquiry āwho am I?ā when thoughts do arise. Iāve begun to observe the different thought patterns come and go, and begin to objectively choose which thoughts are the good ones and which are not, through this use of self enquiry. āDoes this thought serve meā¦ or serve a positiveā¦is it really me?ā Or is it my ego acting in self-defense or through old conditioning. For the most part is quite uninteresing unproductive mind chatter that leads nowhere, practical things that are certainly not necessary when sitting in meditation, but they come and go quite quickly and are not so absorbing. Where it gets interesting are the more complex thoughts and interactions and feelings. āWhy did I do that? ā¦ Did I hurt her? ā¦Why did he react like that? ā¦ What is he thinking of me and not saying anything?ā You know. That stuff takes a lot of energy and presence to overcome and let go, but happensĀ ā like anything ā with practice. I learned that I could do it. Combining this self-enquiry, with awareness of the heartspace, I felt I could understand the qualities of thoughts, and then subsequently that the heart had this ability to know if the thought was ego or not. I experienced: the ego cannot reside in the heart, it is not allowed in there, when I have a thought and I take it to my heart, sometimes the thought just cannot go there, because it is an ego-based thought, and the ego just doesnāt understand the heart in the right way, it has a different purpose and a different language, it is a construct of the mind, developed over time since birth. It is not in any way part of our true eternal essence, nor is it related to our DNA, it has been purely developed via nurture, via external and then internal conditioning. But the heart, at the very least is a deep honesty, a deep essence, a deep connectionā¦. the heart is compassion for others when the ego only shows compassion for others when it benefits. Luckily, I guess, we, have a supraconsciousness over both the ego and the heart, and the skill in using this consciousness, we cultivate continually through presence, meditations, mindfulness. I found much of my anger, fear, jealousy lost its potency when I had the awareness to take it to my heart. With the anger, it almost made me laugh ā because I was enquiring ā who is angry? And the best IĀ I could say was āmy egoā, and that just made me smile and I had to hold it together at times in the meditation hall.
In 5 Vipassana retreats, I am not sure I have managed to obtain the same objectivity of my own conditioning, however Vipassana has been extremely strong for me to build that awareness and the Equanimity to not react to my own negativities so strongly, thus opening a window of opportunity for the awareness to inspect and investigate with further guidance.
Now that I am restarting Patanjaliās Yoga Sutras, some of the revelations during the Silent Retreat Ā have shifted things in me, self perceptions. I now feel the words in Patanjaliās book. I have this āwowā feeling of awe and gratitude, this āspandaā of enthusiasm in my heart about certain sutra, and understand more clearly the structure of the book and the instruction more clearly, that the sequence of learning, sutra by sutra is extremely important and logical. The above sutra describes conditioning ā the depths of which one can observe objectively through meditation practice. The Toltec book The 4 AgreementsĀ so beautifully crystalises much of this too, overlapping, like a same single ocean of wisdom reaching to different cultures. Many other cultures and religions share this wisdom. This awe, this spanda, is a feeling that compels me to writing and sharing and before I continue further, will re-commit to the page my intention to write this as a piece of karma yoga, without attachment to fruits of the action, or identification with myself or ego, and with Love.
Your own self-realisation, is the greatest service you can do for mankind ā Ramana Maharshi
Thank you to the beautiful Joy for sharing with me a special book: Siddharta, by Hernan Hesse. One chapter talks about Siddhartaās new job as a ferryman has touched and held me in awe so much for its connection to water and to the river- this teaching of listening, and listening. I have spent a lot of time near the ocean in the past 18 months, observing its power and vastness, both its roar and its calmness. Being in the open on my bike, camping, vulnerable to rain, watching the clouds for signs, and reading many books that talk about water. Iāve learned a bit about water as an element, its qualities and behaviour, what it enables, how it attracts, smoothesā¦ it can do more than anything else I know probably. When the river is faced with an obstacle, the river does not go backwards or far to the right or to the left, it stays as close to the obstacle as close as possible. It shows not the least sign of fear, only love. It moves in the most efficient way. I said this to my dad yesterday as I stopped by the river I grew up with, and he added that often behind the obstacle is both a nice sheltered spot, and the spot where the river returns to speed.
The river is a metaphor for life, we can observe that the river is both here and is also everything from the mouth of the river up to the source in the mountains, that the river is always present, that it has no real future or past.
Listening is about presence.
I had some challenging times in the community, anger that I could not explain. Thank you to Romina, who advised me to spend a little time looking at the work of Marshall Rosenberg on Non Violent Communication.Ā This also ties in with the 4 Agreements, with presence, and with listening. The community has provided a kind patient environment where I have had the space to be allowed to be angry, where I can accept emotions, and rather than feel the conditioned need to repress them further, just they can erupt later, I can pause, and am encouraged to share and talk about them and then learn ways and techniques, make changes to my thought process, communication process, so that with practice over time I remove bad habits, conditioned reactions and replace them with awareness, patience, non-judgment, and the ability to see and hear more clearly, more intently, Ā assume less, take things less personally. This makes for much more wonderful living. I can see how I feel more clearly, and I can share it more clearly, reducing misunderstandings that can be painful.
Positive communication at many levels, really starts with listening, observation.. yes observation. Rosenberg quotes Krishnamurti with this humdinger:
āObservation without evaluation is the highest form of human intelligenceā ā Krishnamurti
Any judgement or formation of a conclusion when listening to your loved one talk, cannot really respect them Ā can it? You have to, at the minimum listen to them fully, to at least let them finish, but really if you can communicate back without making any judgmentā¦ thatās beautiful. Rosenberg continues with his own whopper:
āAny evaluation is a tragic expression of an unmet needā ā Marshall Rosenberg
So you can see, I think, here, that the process of listening, can get interrupted by an ego, that forms conclusions or judgments prematurely and often mistakenly. It does so because it feels and it fears that its needs are not being met. This is really clear to me. I can see it happening when I listen to people, and especially when I observe people listening to me.
What is far harder to understand for me is this concept that we are all mirrors of each other. I can just about sense it and have a feel for it, and accept, that, when I listen to one of my parents form Ā judgements (and share them in an interupting manner without a lot of consciousness of the pain she may cause), I am actually looking at myself somehow and that my needs are not metā¦ Am IĀ really seeing that I have this negative trait too? ( I do have it) or, behind the frustration and anger that I get when she does this, am I really feeling, expressing, the unmet need for not being judged, for patience, for not interrupting? Or both.
The Face of a River Rock Spirit
The Face of the opposite River Rock Spirit
I found huge solace in spending time by the rivers near Om Shanti. Getting upset as I did from time to time, I began slowly realising I was the architect of my own anger. I would head off to spend time at the river. I had started a stone circle at the YTTC opening ceremony, and not much happened for a while until I found a pool to swim in by the river, and began to collect stones. The stone at Conscious Earth Farm, also from the river, taught me that very small changes of perspective can be very effective, that going slowly and being patience, when building a wall, can be the fastest way overall. I observed at the Om Shanti river, the time the stones had stood and observed the river. This added a little more purpose and meaning to the stone circle I was making, that I could maybe try to share such wisdom, by simply highlighting that the rocks of the circle were born of the river, that they had listened and tumbled for unknown time, for an uncounted time. The stones would form a spiral circle, joined together. Connected they would become one stone, a poor manās crystal, but set out in a circle, they could act as a receiver and transmitter to more frequency of life, both internal and external.
Ā The Badger āĀ a short story
A great test arrived one day. A wounded Badger, bitter, and hurt from years of self-pity harm and anger, lashed out violently to the other animals as well as those looking after her, whom she had also entrusted for care and teaching. Through a simple mistake, Badger had become lost from a large group at the beginning of an adventure. She had tried to find the group, calling out loudly in the forest, running down any path she could, while the group ascended further away to an ancient hidden cave without her, and no one had understood her calls. The group walked in silent meditation, individually and alone. They did not even look at each other as they sought to find their inner peace. Not one person in the group had realised that Badger was missing, no one had heard the Badger call. Badger had returned home, alone. So full of hurt erupting again after so many years of pain, can you imagine her pain?? The group returned in time for dinner. Not able to face the group at dinner the badger ate alone, but the rage of course soon exploded and the badger let out a series of great angry cry for all the other animals to hear. Tony Turtle heard the pain and anger. He had been on the adventure AND an adventure within that adventure too already that evening. But tired as his paddley paws were, he felt the disturbance of the peace echo through his heavy shell armour and he desired only calm for the benefit of all the animals in the house. He sought for Badger, who had run out of the home to smoke. When Tony Turtle had sat down, after a brief moment of takingĀ the cigarette in, Badger unleashed her full fury in her own Badger tongue. The emotion was so powerful that Turtleās ancient ears were blown back for the first time in a decade, his crusty eyelids blew open like a hairdryer had been stuck in them and scales on his neck that had been there for centuries flew off into the rhododendron bush. The Badger aggression was strong. But Tony Turtle, had been practising some listening yoga, so he sat with presence, and in gratitude for the practice and teaching. He chose to to listen, so he listened and listenedā¦ and listened, until the wretched waves of Badgerās berating began to break, letting all the violence flow past him, like a flooded river on a great rock. But then Badger said something painful that was about Turtle and all the family in the home, and the river broke that patient great rock in half. Badger said that Turtle and his familyĀ were bad people and that they hated Badger and that they had deliberately left her out. Turtleās retraint was broken: āNow you are insulting me and those I love, my family ā directly, and you are mistaken. I know them well and ( then Badger interrupted) NO! I listened to you, now it is your turn to listen to me!!! None of them would knowingly or willingly leave anyone behind.ā After a pause for a few moments, and some grumbling under her whiskers, the badger pleaded āI am leaving tomorrow and I just wanted to see this special place.ā Turtle looked at his watch, which read an hour before sunset. āSo letās go Badger. I will meet you back here in 5 mins, get your lantern and water and I will bring mine also. I will explain to someone inside that we are going on the adventure to the ancient cave and that we will be back after darkā. So Turtle and Badger walked off up the mountain and Turtle tried to explain on the way about all the assumptions he could see Badger had made about the otherās actions, and how she had taken them all so painfully personally ā that it was down to the pain she had suffered all her life, and the pain she had become addicted to, and it was important to forgive herself, because it was all natural, in the same way she had begun to forgive the others for their mistake. Turtle said in the time he had known Badger, he knew her still to be good and kind and generous and hard-working, and that all the assumptions were an illusion..Ā and it would take time and persistence to break the fog of that illusion, and he knew it was illusion for he knew for an absolute fact the kindness of his family. As the mood of badger changed, anticipating reaching the ancient cave, they began to walk in silence, and a small snake appeared to them. Turtle explained that Snake was a positive omen for Badger, that it symbolised change, shedding uncomfortable skin, that no longer serves a purpose, but that skin must continually be let go in this way, that it would never end. They reached the ancient cave and descended in to the womb of the Earth Mother. Incredibly to Turtle, Badger found a painting on the ceiling: a badger being attacked with arrows. At first badger reacted with little surprise, but then she spoke āI cannot believe this, it is like my life, but now I can also see, it is just a painting, because that is what it is. I am here now, and Turtle you have given me faith again in others, for listening and bringing me here. Thank you.
The Joy of Cleaning, Saucha
āTo go beyond the body, you must be healthy. To go beyond the mind, you must have your mind in order. You cannot leave a mess behind and go beyond. Pick up your rubbish, seems to be the universal lawā ā Ā Nisargadatta MaharajĀ
Cleaning something in a way that you extend its life, so that we do not need to make unnecesary demands on the limited resources available to us from our home, Planet Earth. This is an important reason for cleaning that goes beyond simply cleaning something so it looks beautiful, or for hygiene. Dirt causes things to jam, and whilst some Germans make a good claim that Schmutz reinigt den magen (a little dirt that cleans the stomach), there is a relative limit on how much dirt is useful.
I was lucky to have a beautiful house, and the teaching of Shaucha ( the Niyama of cleanliness and purity) to reflect on whilst I cleaned. So after some weeks of hard work, the sun blazing freshly under Catalan skies one morning, my connection and love of the house went deeper through the act of cleaning it. First I noticed the dirt on the windows for the first time, and I appreciated what the windows were doing for us, sharing light, the beautiful view. Perhaps I frowned and wondered when they had last been done, but let go of any judgements about previous cleaners, because Iād never thought to clean them. Suddenly I became overwhelming grateful that they were dirty and that I could learn this lesson: that through cleaning I was respecting their life, keeping them alive, and in their highest potential and doing the same for all the sources of resource. I admit it is far easier to clean something when you have a vested interest in it, but shouldnāt we have a vested interest in everything we use? If we donāt why is it there? Should everything not perform its purpose fully?
Enjoying some cacau with Amber
The misty view from the sun room
Beautiful Hazel experiencing the joy of cleaning the sun room windows
Swami Satyananda talks about the Niyama of Shaucha as mental purity as well as bodily purity. Applying a yogic system of moving from the gross to the subtle, purity is a quality that exists at the physical form of object, body and matter right through our actions, intentions, emotions, speech and consciousness. So by developing Shaucha to our bodies at the simplest foundation level, this practice in turn can help us grow and develop that purity at the subtler levels, we are developing spiritual practice with a strong base that is the base at the gross level. Satyananda explains we can develop a kind of non-attachment to the body; and that one becomes fit to practice cheerfulness, concentration and sense control, allowing us to see the vision of oneās self, with clarity.
Close your eyes to thoughts and be here, reading. Be present.
This article is the best I could do.
Life continues, ever moving forward. This had to finish sometime..
I cannot say I have even written a quarter of what I could.Ā Thank you to Paul for letting me finish it on his laptop, and for some of the photos.
I sit now after a period of short meditation, in the dining hall. Floris and Paulina are cooking for all the yoga teacher trainee students. Life is flowing very quickly beyond the scope of this piece of writing. I am one week into my own journey on the yoga path, one month of intensive yoga, union, clarity and self-realisation.
I have not spoken at all about the power of the physical aspects of yoga, the relationship between mind and body and the Atman; the integration of heart, head and hands. Iāve not spoken about the Osho Kundalini Meditation, the Cacau ceremonies, the friendships, the cards, the womenās circles, the sound journey, the feeling of being a father, the love circles, the first yoga teacher training that I supported and being the only single man among 23 women, the tantric massage that didnāt happen, renunciation.
I am grateful to David who is the main driving force of the community. His energy and commitment and vision are the roots and foundation and provides the space for transformations to happen and for friendships to flourish. His satsangs and meditations are always gentle and beautiful, taking you to your core from where the love can shine outwards.
Hope you enjoyed the banquet.
(PS. I would never have thought to be caught on camera like this:)
āBe impeccable with your word. Donāt take things personally. Donāt make assumptions. Always do your best. These are the four agreementsā ā The Toltec
Om Shanti. Yoga & Community. Waking Up, to Write 07.50am, a day I cannot remember now, I have awoken and meditated, reaching a lucid state of realisation that the moment is here to write with flow, about how I am feeling about what I am doing, what my various intentions are, what my recent experiences have shown me, and have begun to teach me, and even, as i write, what lessons may appear and I may seek out ...
