Adam's Driving Me Crazy

You see everyone is raving about how good this recipe is and how much they love this one particular ingredient (we’ll say cheese) that just really makes it amazing. So you think, I can do that, I’m great with cheese!

So, you start cooking. You measure everything just so. You even go a little hard on the cheese because, cheese. You are super proud of your dish. It looks delicious. You think it’s all kinds of tasty. It is, perhaps, the best thing you’ve ever made. You can’t wait to share it with everyone, because c’mon, everyone is raving about this thing and here it is! You made it! And it’s gonna be awesome.

You take it to a potluck with your friends and some people you don’t know. Your friends are like, yeah, this is great! Maybe a couple of people grab a bite, and one of them even tells you it’s pretty good. But there you are, at the end of the night, with your casserole dish still basically full and you’re wondering, what happened? You did everything right, so why didn’t everyone go crazy for it?

Posting a fic is very similar. You see the things people seem to love (a particular trope, for instance) and you give it a try. You think you’ve got all the elements and you put it together perfectly and you put it out there. And then you don’t get the response you were hoping for or expecting. But you used (1) one beloved trope + (2) two characters + a dash of canon + witty banter! Maybe you even sprinkled in a liberal helping of a fandom favorite dynamic. What happened?

Honestly, it’s kind of devastating when a fic flops. You wonder what you did wrong. What did you miss? You’ve seen other people do it and readers just ate it up, so it must be you, right? Are you not a good cook (writer)? Are people tired of trying your dishes (reading your fics)?

Yes, you should always cook (write) for yourself first. But when you decide to share something with other people who have similar tastes/interests, that’s an act of bravery. You’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position by putting this little piece of your heart, of something you love, out for people to see. Of course you want them to like it. You want them to think it’s a tasty treat (whether it be for your tastebuds or eyeballs). You want that pat on the back (kudo). It’s not greedy or inappropriate to crave validation and support.

Writing is a creative, personal process. A lot of writers are frothy little balls of anxiety.

Not only that—I go back and reread comments when I’m feeling low. I look at tags and reblogs and asks and wish I could hold them in my hand like a note from a friend on an old, torn piece of notebook paper.