Bruh

alas the melancholy, it strikes at my heart! prithee, humble tumblr toiler, share with me your most superior cephalopod fact

Male octopus get eaten a lot while reproducing so they usually develop a survival strategy. My favorites are they're usually in a position where they can get out fast or they remove their reproductive arm and give it to the females which they can still use and honestly is more beneficial as they can use it when they find somewhere safe for eggs.

*detatches my penis mid-coitus for u to add to ur inventory*

The blanket octopus has some of the most extreme size differences between males and females, with females reaching 2 meters (6.6 ft) and males maxxing out around 2.4 cm (1 inch). Males and immature females have been found carrrying stinging man-o-war tentacles to use as defensive weapons.

don't talk to me (hulking goddess), my boyfriend (amoeba), OR our third (innocent bystander we kidnapped for use as a living weapon)

i dont want a childproofed internet i am almost 30 fucking years old. give your kid an internet safety talk and stop making it the problem of every adult on the planet every time some cryptkeeper legislator gets the brilliant idea (via conservative lobbying) to push through yet another bill gutting our access to free expression + increasing the powers of the surveillance state + lining the pockets of Big Data in the name of Protecting The Kids they wont even feed. this shit is exhausting i can’t believe we’re going to be fighting about it for the rest of my life

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

us bisexuals urgently need more specific code words, outward signs, hints, safety protocols, gestures, and hidden signals to recognize one another anywhere (whether socially, platonically, or romantically). bc a lot of bi slang was lost or got outdated over time, most of us live more or less invisibly, bi education is nonexistent, and the pop culture cues that were popularized years ago - e.g. bi people sit in chairs funny, or bob hair cuts - won't help build our catalogue since they're too broad and random. it has to be almost encrypted language - e.g. i myself am a tomcat = androgynous bi woman, the word is sort of like futch as the butch/femme combination but explicitly bi - that no one else would use but every bi knows the exact combination of signals. similar to the hanky or lace code. so i feel like we need to both start from scratch and dig up old bi cultural protocols to renovate and spread them silently. because i want to know whether i am in the presence of another bi person but safely, it's so frustrating

so sorry i have listening to music in my underwear scheduled for tonight

we really can’t overstate how damaging it has been to indoctrinate the public with the idea that if they let themselves eat as much as they want, they’ll eat too much. human bodies, when permitted over the long term to eat as much as they want, actually get really, really good at calibrating their hunger and satiety, and will over time eat exactly the right amount for themselves. the common conception of a balanced eater as a minimal or restrained eater is absolutely wrong. balanced eaters eat quite a lot (compared to diet cultural ideas about right intake amounts), and they do so consistently and permanently. healthy, balanced eating isn’t some tightrope walk, it’s a gigantic net of total permission to eat.

Prev et al. (2025)

wasting away again in tumblrinaville...