this morningi was thinking like. o good thing i dont have a chainsaw bc id probably cut off one of my fingers or my foot or smth for no reason

ariel is not doing well and i dont. know what to do. i just. feel so helpless. they arent responding and i think theyre alive but i dont know and im. i cant go down there because i have school but i wanna skip and bus back

tfw ur fucking clean for five months and then you go and make one stupid cut when ur down and cant defend against it and its all reset

im watching a movie w my family and i have my rats in my shirt and no one knows except my little brother lol

im so happy people are posting a ton of mothman stuff and cryptids Nd all like. they mightve been before and im just noticing now but either way im so glad bc cryptids and mothman in particular were my main special interest for like. four years maybe more and im still fond of them.

ive had a migraine for two days but i gotta go to therapy rip.

i've been feeling super good lately and tbh i hope its the meds working and i've been wrong abt being bipolar this whole time. but i dont think i am so im probably gonna have a downswing within a week or so lmao. but i'm fine now and thats all that matters im all good!!!

my friends are fighting again ahahahaha

pros of bein lowkey suicidal: -not afraid of getting in car crashes bc then i get the sweet release of death -dont actually care enough to kill myself cons: -i mean i dont rly plan for the future bc i half expect to die

i've been less anxious lately which im glad abt. like i dont think its bc of the meds bc theyre supposed to start working after a few weeks but. u never know.

i'm goin camping with my df and three friends this weekend and its gonna b fun except im worried bc my df doesnt get along with one of my friends and im. cryin. like they dont hate each other they just dont get along

hmmm i am always wondering if i am fictionkin for any characters like. i'll watch or read media and get familiar feelings and stuff for certain characters and i think it might. make me feel more secure to have a solid identification with a character but also im just. so lazy and dont want to put time and effort into thinking about anything even if itll help.

i have to. go to a school event and i am stressed! out! nice! isaac was gonna go but he canceled at the last minute so i am alone

also i am worried bc i just started meds and i might wanna go on t this year? idk yet. but i gotta get a bunch of forms to bring them into the country

im gonna try and study in japan next year which is!! but also. i dont wanna leave behind the people who rely on me here and also its fucking expensive and i have to work all year and save every penny