Know too much (Jungkook)- Final
Genre: Romance; angst; slow burn; friends2lovers;
Warnings: strong language; smut; trauma; oral sex; protected sex; violence
Wordcount: 13.4k
Playlist: Keep you eyes on me boy; Control ; Cold touch; Where you are; Amor ordinário
You don't know how much time has passed since Jungkook walked out the door.
You don't know how long the tears have been flowing, how long your heart has been aching. You know the pain you feel is intense and you don't think it will stop anytime soon. Is this how Jungkook felt when you left?
In every circumstance, you were the one running away first. Yeri said he didn't hate you, but you didn't believe it: the way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you, his tone, his voice, his anger. He spoke such venomous words at you, a version you were never used to. Your heart ached, not just for you but for him. You really pushed him to the limit.
Suddenly you hear your phone ring. At first, you think about ignoring it, but then you remember it could be something related to Jungkook and you ran towards it. Your anticipation drops when you read "Yeri" on the screen. You pick up but don't say anything and she understands everything.
"Bad is an understatement, it was awful" you sighed. " It was like he had given me the biggest slap of my entire life with words. But i deserved them. He's right in everything he said and I lost him. I lost my chance with him." You sniffle. " I don't know what to say or what to do to make things better. I'm in a dead end"
There was silence on the other line while you kept sobbing. Then you hear it
"Do you want me to come over?"
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You were still sitting on the floor with your back against the wall when Yeri arrived. You hadn't worked up the courage to move.
When you saw a car approach your house, the lights dim and the doorbell ring, you took a deep breath as you slowly stood up. When you opened the door you found Yeri with a bag full of snacks and non-alcoholic drinks with her arms wide open for you. You rush to her, being careful with her baby bump as you hugged her tightly.
"Ohh honey I'm so sorry" You let her go and helped her with the bags, telling her to make herself comfortable while you set the things on the kitchen table. A few seconds later she was already by your side. "Are you okay?" you looked at her and shook your head.
"I never got to meet this version of Jungkook. I saw a side of him I've never seen before and honestly I wish I hadn't." Yeri ran her hand up ans down your back and placed the side of her head against yours.
"When hurt, Jungkook can be quite cold and cruel. But I'd bet my ass on how he didn't mean any of what he said to you. He wasn't expecting it, he was caught of guard" You wishe you could believe her.
For the rest of the night, you and Yeri watched TV and when you got tired of watching the crappy show that was on, you changed the subject. "how's the wedding planning going?"
"It's going well, we still have to finish making the gifts for the guests. Kyle and I insisted on making them ourselves and I’m already regretting that decision." She laughed. "I'd like to ask you something." You gave her a curious look.
"Shoot it" you tried your best to smile
"It's not for you to feel pressured or anything like that. I won't be upset and given the circumstances of how we met I will totally understand but... would you like to be my maid of honor?" you screamed and hugged her. "Yes! Of course, how could I refuse? Only if I was crazy."
"Jungkook will be there. He's Kyle's best man and things might get awkward for you."
"I'm not giving up on Jungkook. I hope things between us will be calmer by then. Either way you’re a friend now” you smiled
The wedding was supposed to be on February 14th, Valentine's Day and although Yeri was pregnant, her belly was barely noticeable and could be hidden. Few people knew about it and she wanted to announce it on her wedding day, along with the baby's gender.
"It would be really good if you and Jungkook were resolved by then. I really like you and I'm sorry for those words I said about him deserving better. I've met a lot of people and believe me, no one has a life story as deep as yours and still tries to see things on the positive side."
"Apparently, that didn't do me much good. Look at the situation I'm in."
"It might be confusing right now Y/n, but both you and Jungkook have potential and are incredible people, even thought you're both stubborn as hell. It's your time to fight for him, it's the only way you have to prove you're all in" She was right
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The next day you woke up with the worst headache of all times so you got up and made some coffee.
It was a little after 11 a.m., when you got ready and stopped by Jungkook's work. Would that be the best decision? Probably not, but you were hoping he'd be calmer by now to give you a chance to say more than you managed last night.
Standing in front of the tattoo shop, it took several deep breaths before you could manage to open the door. When you got in, everything was quiet and you didn't recognize anyone. Suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder and when you looked back you saw Sophia behind you with a big smile.
"Y/n!" She looked surprised to see you. "it's been a while. Thought you had left town, haven't seen you around. Are you here to schedule another tattoo?"
"Hey Soph. I've been away for a while yeah, college is driving me crazy and coming and going isn't pleasant when I have exams or assignments coming up." You cleared your throat. "Hmmmm… not really. Actually I'm here to talk to Jung-"
You didn't finish your sentence because you heard a door open and saw Jungkook come out of his office with the blonde girl you'd seen him with the other day.
He was smiling brightly and explaining something to her until he looked up and saw you. His smile automatically faded, giving way to a stern and serious expression. He said goodbye to the girl, directing her to the counter where you were with Sophia.
You didn't waste any time and went straight to him, believing that he would be more willing to listen to you, however, as soon as he realized you were going in his direction, he turned his back and entered his office way too quick for your liking. A huge slap in your face.
You didn't even knock on the door, grabbing the handle to open it just to see it was locked. You felt tears well up in your eyes and lowered your head, sighing.
Even though it hurt, you just had to accept his decision not to talk to you just as he respected yours. As hard as it was, you had to accept you had lost and you couldn't even feel angry because you were the one who gave him the scisors to cut the ties.
You stepped away from the door and turned around, facing Sophia. "He's just trying to process things Y/n. Be patient, it was a hard time for him when you were away." You nodded.
"I know. I know he hates me right now, I know I hurt him deeply and I have no right to come back as if nothing happened. I know I messed up and ruined things. I can only be upset with myself." You sniffed. "but doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." She approached you and gave you a tight hug.
"Do you really like him?" she whispered. "I'm completely in love with him." She pulled back a little. "So give him time to get his head around it. When he feels ready, he'll come find you." You thanked her and looked back at Jungkook's office one last time before leaving. He has always waited for you.
He deserves the waiting too.
And things remained the same. You returned to college the week after that meeting with Jungkook. You hadn't been able to talk to him and the few times you'd cross paths with him, he'd avoided you like the devil avoided the cross.
You and Yeri continued to keep in touch and spoke daily. Now as a bridesmaid, you were deeply involved in her wedding preparations and helped her with everything she needed. Last Saturday you spent the entire day with Rosé and Taehyung, helping them move into their new house. You were incredibly excited for them.
That was also the day you ran into Jungkook. It was almost 6 p.m. You were finishing some adjustments in their living room when the doorbell rang. When Tae opened the door, the silhouette of an excited Jungkook appeared beside him: always so excited, always so happy - until he saw you- Since you came back, every time he sees you, his smile fades, giving way to a neutral expression, full of disappointment. Tae must have noticed because he takes Jungkook to help him set up something in the "office" he doesn't have yet.
Your heart sank. Whenever you noticed the change in his behavior when you're around, you end up crying and feeling like the worst person in the world. Rosé could only hug you and tell you everything would be okay, but deep down you knew it wouldn't be that easy.
When you heard the door upstairs open you knew it was time to leave. By the time they were walking down the stairs towards the living room, you already had your coat on and bag over your shoulder. You hugged Rosé goodbye and headed to the front door murmuring a quick "bye Tae" without looking in their direction. You didn't want them to notice your swollen eyes. It was better off this way.
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It was the last week of school before Christmas break. You'd only return to classes on January 10th and you were completely exhausted. You just wanted the week to end so you could go home and hibernate for days. To make things worse, your ex-boyfriend Peter had decided to make your life hell again, texting you constantly and waiting for you without you even realizing it.
His obsessive behavior was scaring you. When you went out with your friends at night, he was there; when you went shopping, you saw him at the bus stop near the campus, waiting for you. Ever since he found out you and Jungkook were no longer together, he came back with the intention of scaring you and he was succeeding.
When you talked to your friends about it, they downplayed the subject, advising you to just ignore it but the truth is, it was already getting to you.
Unkown "You'll never get rid of me." Unkown "Without your bodyguard, you're nobody." Unkown "You'll be mine." Unkown "I know your every move, even when you can't see me." Unkown "I hope you know you're never alone, even when you think you are."
That was the kind of texts you'd receive from him, as well as mysterious gifts from time to time. You didn't want to make a fuss and worry your dad and close friends so you decided not to mention any of it to anyone. «It'll pass» you thought.
You were in your last class of the day.
You had just spoken to Rosé on the phone, sharing the news: your dad found someone. After more than a year and half he had managed to finally open his heart to someone else. You won't deny that at first it was super difficult to accept the idea of him with someone new, but you also understood his side. It was still new and although you wouldn't meet her—for now- he wanted to be the one telling you.
You and Rosé had also planned to have dinner on her new house. You would be alone until the middle of next week because your dad had another business trip with important clients. You hated it when he was away for so long on but it was important for the business.
When dismissal time came, you grabbed your bags from the classroom door and ran to the bus stop. She was going to pick you up at the strain station when you arrived. As you got there, you ran into Peter also waiting for the same bus. You approached the stop slowly and stood back, but that distance didn't last long.
"You're getting more beautiful by the minute." You felt him near you and shivered.
"I don't want to be around you Peter. Please don't complicate things."
"Complicate what dollface? I'm just chatting." You looked at him.
"I already told you I don't want any kind of conversation with you. We had a past, it didn't work out and it's over." You saw something flash in his expression.
"You're the one who made it not work out." He stepped closer, standing face to face with you. "But we can change that, especially now that the other one is gone, making you available again, right?" You managed to take a few steps back and saw the bus in the distance.
"For you? Never again." You grabbed your bag and moved away from him as quickly as possible. He didn't talk to you again but he was nearby and although you weren't looking at him, you could clearly feel his gaze on you.
When he got off at his station (which was before yours), you felt relieved. Something had been making you anxious lately and his behavior wasn't helping it go away. You really wanted to do what your friends told you and downplay the situation, yet it was really hard to do so when this type of harassment was so prevalent.
Even if you filled some sort of complaint, it would be your word against his, since he hasn't done anything that would warrant a warning. When you got off the train, you ran into Rosé and hugged her tightly. She helped you with your bags and led you to the car, putting everything in the trunk.
"Finally I can spend more than one day with my best friend without any rush," you laughed.
"Yes. Luckily I'll have time to be with you and have some rest at the same time."
"Finally. It's really hard for me when you're not around, I really miss you. And I still feel guilty about the way you left the house the other day" This made you wonder.
"Jungkook won't show up, will he? It'll be shitty like last time."
"No baby. I told Tae to watch his tongue and not do or say anything stupid." You nodded. And he sure kept his tongue tied, because Jungkook didn't show up.
Dinner went wonderfully and everyhing went well. You missed these moments with them. Your involvement with Jungkook had destroeyd the group's interaction. You were all so close and now you acted like strangers, putting Rosé and Tae in an awkward position. That conexion had been lost along the way, maybe one day things could go back to the way they were.
It was almost midnight when you got home. You hated being alone, always afraid of someone breaking into your house and leaving you defenseless. You always closed and locked everything and always slept with the TV on. At these times, you couldn't help but think about Jungkook.
If things were normal between you too, you'd call him and he'd keep you company or you'd FaceTime and you'd fall asleep like that. You picked up your phone and called him.
You still hope he'll answer, although it always goes to voicemail. You sigh and start typing.
You: I know you're mad at me, and I understand that, and I'm trying to respect your boundaries, but please try not to stay mad for too long. I miss you."
Needless to say, you got no response.
The weekend was quiet and you took the opportunity to clean the house. You also had to go grocery shopping. You didn't have anything decent to cook at home since you discovered your new passion for cooking and decided to invest on it during this college break.
You never cared for cooking until your mother passed away. Somehow it was something you started doing to feel more connected to her, that's how you found out you actually had a knack for it. Yeri was even trying to convince you to make her wedding cake and although you initially rejected the idea, you were now having second thoughts about it. It would be a good challenge.
You grabbed your shopping bags and left the grocery store, loading them into the car. As you headed to the driver's side you looked ahead and saw Jungkook, only to realize he wasn't alone. He was with that blonde girl you had seen him several times with, but this time he wasn't at work and the two of them were much much closer.
The air caught in your throat and your heart sank harder than ever. Suddenly you lost the ability to breathe.
He moved on. He moved on.
Those were the words echoing in your head. Your hand moved from the car to your chest and you did what you learned in therapy when you had those intense panic attacks: you rubbed your fist across your chest in circular motions while trying to regulate your breathing.
You closed your eyes for mere seconds only. and when you opened them again Jungkook's gaze was no longer on the blonde girl but on you. You don't know how long you stared, much less did you think he'd be able to tell you were there, but he did and you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of him any further.
You opened the door, got into the driver's seat and left the parking lot as quickly as you could. The path was blurred by your tears: he had moved on. He locked you away in his past and chose to be happy with someone else. You wanted to be happy for him, you really did , yet, here you are, completely devastated.
Maybe that's why he never gave you the chance to talk to him. Maybe he thought you were spying on him after seeing you today. Fuck. Now you were sure you'll never be able to look him in the eye again.
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You were making the most of these last few days. You read the books you had pending on your Goodreads list, finished the shows you'd been meaning to finish for ages, learned new recipes and chatted with Yeri, sending her suggestions about wedding table settings and gifts for guests.
Rosé works during week days, making it harder for you to see her as often, although you talk every day. She actually invited you to dinner on Monday, but you declined. After the last incident with Jungkook, you try to avoid as much as possible any places you knew he might or could be.
You were eating leftovers from lunch and watching The Good Doctor when there was a bang on your door. You weren't expecting anyone. You carefully walked up to the door and peered through the peep hole.
On the other side of the door was Peter leaning against the wall. "Open the door, Y/n. I know you're home and I know you're alone." Panic began to rise.
"Go away Peter or I'll call the police." You heard him laugh, followed by the sound of the door being kicked. Twice
"Open the goddamn door! I'm not saying it again. I wanna talk." He started to force the doorknob and you screamed. Without thinking twice, you grabbed your phone and called Rosé. She answered a second later. "Hello?"
"Peter is in front of my house trying to get in. He's being extremely aggressive. I don't know if I can keep him out much longer. I'm scared. If anything happens to me I want you to- "
"Don't even finish that sentence! You need to calm down and call 911. Tae and I will be right there. Call the police and lock yourself in a room in the house and don't open the door, you hear me ? We're on our way okay? 5 minutes."
The noises outside continued loudly and as you called 911, you heard glass shatter. The last thing you remember was saying to 911 someone had broken into your house. After that, everything went blank.
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You woke up startled and in a place you didn't recognize. You felt something in your right hand when you tried to move it. Looking around, everything was white and all you could hear was beeping coming from somewhere. As your vision began to clear, you realized you were in a hospital
You were looking for a button to call someone when the door opened revealing Rosé, Tae and your father looking extremely tired, their eyes puffy red. As soon as they realized you were awake, Tae quickly went to get a nurse while Rosé and your father went to your side
"Oh my love, I thought I lost you." he said kneeling beside your bed. Before you could say anything, a nurse came in and asked them to wait outside for a bit while they examined you and asked you questions about that night.
Apparently you fainted and hit your head hard on the ground. When the police arrived, your friends were already there, but no sign of Peter. When they went after you, they found you locked in your bathroom unconcious. The fall made you hit your head causing you a concussion and minor internal bleeding and you have been under observation ever since.
Now, 48 hours later and you being awake, they were running all type of exams to see if there was some damage that wasn't caught before. From blood tests to machines - you were tired of it all. When the medical team finally let your dad and friends in, you couldn't stop the tears from streaming down your face. As soon as Rosé saw you sitting on the hospital bed she started crying with you.
“Oh baby I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried, we all are! Why didn’t you tell us what was happening with Peter? We would've protected you. You could stay with us until your dad arrived"
"I mentioned it to my roommate, but she thought it was best to ignore it. I also didn't think he would do something crazy like this, although I didn't have the best feeling about him. I don't know Rosé, I didn't want to alarm anyone"
Your dad stepped in. "After Josh's situation, you should know you can't trust anyone sweetheart. At the slightest slip-up, at the slightest mistake, you have to speak up! Ask for help, anything!"
You didn't even notice your father walk in with Tae by his side. When he mentioned Josh's name, you could see him frown. "Who's Josh? I don't remember meeting him."
You went pale. He didn't know what happened to you and he wasn't going to find out now this way either, not from you at least.
"It's a long story that I promise to tell you someday." He didn't bring up the subject anymore, but you could tell he was still thinking about it.
Tae and Rosé stayed with you a little longer while your father went to get some more things you'd need. If the exams were all clean you'd be discharged the next day. When Tae went to the bathroom, you pulled Rosé a little closer to you.
"Did Jungkook hear what happened?" She nodded. "He came here?" She shook her head.
"No Cupcake, he didn't want to come with us."
After that, you didn't say anything else, just shook your head and stayed quiet, listening to Tae and Rosé talk about something until your father arrived.
All while your heart was shattered in pieces
"I never want to spend another night in a hospital alone. That place is horrendous" you said to your father as he helped you into your bed.
The first thing you noticed was how the previously broken glass on the window was now fixed, doubly protected. Your room also had a new door and everything was back to normal.
Honestly, you didn't expect the start of your vacation to be like this but you were grateful you were okay. The only medical recommendations given to you were to avoid stress and exercise more,so you decided to join the gym as soon as you got better.
It'd be good for your body and your mind, mostly.
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Your dad had taken a few days off to stay home with you and then Christmas would come and you'd go to your grandparents' house. You still hadn't heard from Jungkook. You never saw him again and he hadn't texted you after your hospitalization, not even once.
Honestly you didn't even know why you were still waiting for him when he clearly gave you all the signs he didn't want anything to do with you. He had someone by his side, of course he wouldn't cross the line too.
Yeri always said he was true to his word and he wasn't going to change now. Speaking of, she stopped by your house the day after you were discharged. She brought you lots of treats, two new books and a bouquet of flowers. "Flowers Yeri seriously? Are you trying to win me over or something?" You said jokingly.
She laughed too. "Well... someone told me they'd brighten up your day so I decided to bring them." You took the bouquet and smelled them.
"Thanks Yeri. I don't know who told you this but I really do like flowers, you nailed it." She just smiled. You ended up talking about the wedding and the baby reveal. Shortly after, you started getting drowsy. The bad thing about the medication you're taking is they make you dizzy and sleepy all the time. Yeri wished you a speedy recovery and said goodbye
People were frantic with their final Christmas shopping. The stores had seemingly endless lines, always packed with people rushing and bumping into each other as if it were the end of the world.
It's not like you could judge, you did the same: always shopping at last minute. With all the recent events, you forgot about Christmas presents. Fortunately, there were only few people you had to give something to. You bought a new purse for Rosé, a watch for Tae and the last book of the collection your father is working on. You also bought a souvenir for Yeri and a very cute outfit for her baby.
You were almost leaving when something caught your attetion: a silver bracelet with the words 'even if we're apart, I'll always be by your side.' graved inside. You couldn't help but think of Jungkook.
You walked into the store and asked to see the bracelet and ended up buying it. Even though you were hurt, you couldn't go through this season without giving him something, he still meant a lot in your life, even if right now he wasn't in it. You still loved him even though you were determined to move on.
Once you had bought everything, you packed your car and headed to the gym. Your dad spoke to a friend of his who also happens to own the local gym and they agreed on a special price, since you won't have the opportunity to go as often when you're in college.
When you walked in, you spoke to the receptionist and gave her your name. She then gave you a wristband and showed you the spaces you could use, as well as the class times and the room with all the machines. The gym was huge and you were quite impressed. After changing into your gym clothes, you had a consultation with a nutritionist for a self-assessment and then you went to explore the gym.
There weren't any classes you were interested in attending at that time, so you headed to the room where the machines were. You considered yourself lucky that there weren't many people there, otherwise you'd probably leave. You had no idea how to use those things and you were too shy to ask for help. Maybe you should have asked Rosé if she wanted to go with you for emotional support.
You approached the treadmill, left your water bottle and towel beside you and got on. You pressed the power button once, twice, three times, but there was no way for it to start. You were embarrassed by your own lack of skills.
You were about to give up when you felt someone move to a treadmill a little further away from yours. You were determined to observe the stranger's movements on the treadmill when you recognized some tattoos on his hand: an emoji, a purple heart, a crown and some letters on his knuckles. Your gaze began to travel up his arm: the snake, the treble clef, the microphone, the rock sign and birth flower.
You panicked. He probably hadn't noticed it was you, but you had noticed him perfectly and now the only option was to get out of there without him noticing. You really hoped you could do it because you didn't want to face him.
You got off the treadmill as if you'd just finished your duties, grabbed your water and towel and hopped off, hoping he wouldn't see you. "Do you need help with anything?"
You stopped in place as soon as he spoke. Without turning around, you replied as calmly as possible, "No thanks." That's when he recognized your voice and turned to look at you.
"Y/n?" You stopped again and turned to him, this time looking at him. He was getting more and more handsome, with more tattoos and more defined muscles. You had a hard time looking at him without tears welling up in your eyes.
You looked down. "Sorry I didn't know you frequented this place. I'm not following you around, I promise. I'm actually leaving" He stopped the treadmill and got off it, paying attention to you. This was the first time since you had returned that you were both talking calmly. It was also the first time he didn't make that disdainful face when he saw you.
"You don't have to leave just because I'm here. The space belongs to everyone."
"I'm done anyways" you said, running over his words. He makes a weird sound with his mouth.
"You didn't even start. When I came in I saw how you stared at the machine like it was a seven-headed monster. You didn't even realize the plug was unplugged." Your cheeks began to heat with embarrassment and you cleared your throat.
"It doesn't matter. Honestly I just came to explore the space and see what it was like in here. I'm leaving now." You were reaching the door when he called out to you again.
This time the silence lasted longer than expected and you noticed a new kind of emotion on his face, beyond the previous ones: pity. He knew what happened with Peter and that's why he was talking to you: out of pity.
You would give anything for him to talk to you like he was doing at the moment, but you didn't want it to be for those reasons. You murmured a small goodbye, opened the door and left, unable to believe what your relationship had become.
You were walking on eggshells everytime you saw each other and you were so damn tired of that feeling.
Before you got mad at each other, you, Jungkook, Rosé and Tae had a groupchat where you used to talk alot and make plans. Now that group was inactive until you decided to change that.
Right now you were with a book on your lap in front of the fireplace at your grandmother's house when you decided to send a text on the groupchat wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Shortly after, Tae and Rosé sent their responses with hearts and emojis. Of course, you couldn't help but notice how Jungkook had seen but not replied. You threw your phone on the couch.
«Maybe it's time for me to stop» you said to yourself
Christmas dinner went well and despite it being a different time of year because of your mother's absence, you couldn't help but be thankful for having people around you who loved and cared for you. It was cold in your grandparents' house and even right by the fireplace you were freezing, so you went to your room to grab a coat and change into a warmer sweater.
When you arrived back in the living room, your dad said "Honey, your phone rang twice while you were upstairs." You picked it up and saw something surreal—two calls from Jungkook—had something happened?
You excused yourself for a second and called him back. On the fourth beep he answered and you sighed in relief. For a moment, you thought he wouldn't. Silence reigns on both sides and you break the ice first. "Is everything okay?" He took a moment to answer and when he did, his voice sounded choked. You hear him clear his throat.
"Yeah I—hum—I'm calling to thank you for the gift and wish you a Merry Christmas. I didn't do it earlier, i'm sorry."
"It's okay, I didn't expect you to." Maybe you shouldn't have said that because you heard him mumble, followed by the sound of something break "You must be busy so I won't take up any more of your time Jungkook. Thank you for calling; it means a lot to me."
He was silent for a couple of minutes. "Take care of yourself Y/n," he said before hunging up, not giving you the chance to respond.
"You too Jungkook. You too."
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
You returned home on December 29th -sunday- because your dad had work the next day. You arrived around noon and took the opportunity to have lunch before heading home. Now that you're back, you're focused on continuing to live as before and improving every part of yourself.
Next year you were going to start with a new therapist Yeri recommended. You heard of her, but getting an appointment with her was extremely hard. It was through connections Yeri was able to get you a spot. You never expecedt one day you'd be able to be best friends with an ex-girlfriend of someone you fell in love with. If someone had told you that a while ago, you'd have told them to go fuck themselves.
Late in the afternoon, you got ready to go to your usual spot with Tae and Rosé. When you got there, they were already there with their drinks and you ordered yours and sat down. As they talked, the only thing on your mind was how Jungkook was doing. That place was very important to you because it was filled with memories of you two; it was where you met him, where you had your first conversation, your first connection.
You tried to enjoy yourself with them, you really did but your mind always wandered elsewhere. As if your heart wasn't hurting enough, you saw Jungkook walk in with that blonde girl, super complicit and cheerful. You couldn't help but look at them and imagine that could be you. Rosé looks in the same direction and offers you her hand as a form of support.
Tae, on the other hand, always puts his foot in. You know he doesn't mean any harm, but the fact he called Jungkook every time you're around, knowing your situation is at least awkward, making you uncomfortable. You hate feeling like an intruder and it gets worse when he's with that girl, it really makes you feel small.
When he calls him, both Jungkook and the girl approach your table with a beer and a peach iced tea in their hands. "How's it going bro?" Jungkook greeted Tae and smiled at Rosé, only nodding to you, ackowledging your presence. The girl next to him simply said hi and mentioned to Jungkook something about the bathroom. The only available chair was next to you so Jungkook decided to sit at another table, it being the limit of what you could bear.
You tried to stay but it was too much. You grabbed your bag and went to the counter to pay for your drink. When you returned, the blonde was already beside Jungkook, clinging to his arm. You tried to ignore it and grab your coat. "I think I'll go. It's getting late and I'm tired. Have fun and don't worry, I'll tell you when I get home."
"Oh no cupcake, we just got here. Stay a little longer please." You felt Jungkook's gaze on you and you almost looked back—almost— "I really have to go." You hugged her. "We'll be talking okay?" She nodded. You waved to the others and left.
In another time Jungkook would chase you down and ask why you were leaving; in another time he'd be the one to take you home, even if there were other people around; in another time he'd choose you. But now?
You were walking home alone, in the cold and pouring rain.
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧
You haven't been leaving the house much. You've been reading, playing the guitar, watching new shows and going to the gym a lot. You never thought you'd become an exercise enthusiast, but with the habit, you found relief and satisfaction in it. At first you were afraid to run into Jungkook like the first time, but you soon realized your schedules were inconsistent and felt more at ease. Also, your gym hours match with his working hours, it'd be impossible.
You had finished your squats and were about to move on to the leg extension machine to finish with cardio when you heard the door where you were training open. Looking over, the person was none other than Jungkook, wearing a black Supreme beanie and a black suit. You had your headphones on and tried to ignore his presence, not even looking in his direction and continued doing your sets.
He went straight to the treadmill and had been there for about 10 minutes by the time you finished on the leg extension machine and moved on to the treadmill too, although you considered skipping it. You walked to the furthest treadmill, placed the towel on it and turned it on, setting it up as you wished.
Every now and then you felt eyes on you, but did your best not to look back. «He moved on» you tried to remind yourself.
You were focused on your own exercise when your legs started to give out and you stopped the treadmill abruptly, feeling a cramp on your right leg that was killing you. This had been happening frequently since you started working out.
As soon as the treadmill stopped, you sat on it, massaging your leg, using your towel to soak it with water. "Do you need help?" Jungkook was crouched beside you, looking worried.
"Ohhh no, I don't think so." you replied, continuing to massage it. He ignored what you said and pulled your leg toward him, massaging it a little harder, pulling and pushin it.
"Does that happen to you often?"
"It does now. I don't know if it's because I started training more, but it's been happening a lot lately."
"You need to take more breaks and stretch more." He looked at you and added "eat bananas, they help with cramps too." You let out a laugh and although you tried not to take it the wrong way, it was impossible. He must have understood because he laughed too. "It sounded pretty bad, didn't it?" he smiled. Shit, you really missed him.
He held out his hand to help you up and that's when you noticed the bracelet you gave him. You looked at him in surprise. "You're wearing it." Confused at first, it was only when you pointed to the bracelet he realized what you were talking about.
"Ahhh yes, it suits my style. I didn't even remember it was you who gave it to me." That fell on you like a stone.
You hadn't expected such an idiotic answer and you were tired of being his personal punching bag. Your expression changed completely.
You got up. "I know I messed up and hurt you but enough of being your punching bag Jungkook. I've tried so many ways to make amends. You fucked things up with me in the past too and I've never treated you the way you're treating me." You were so frustrated with him you through him your towel.
"You're the one who came to talk to me, if you're not happy, the door is the only way out." then you added "you know what -I'm the one who's leaving. I'm tired of your shity attitude! Blaming me for everything when you were the one who caused my insecurities in the first place." You grabbed your towel again and started to head for the exit when he grabbed your arm.
"You don't have that right Y/n." You pulled your arm out of his grip.
"No Jungkook, you're the one who doesn't have the right. I know I do a lot of things wrong and that I'm impulsive, insecure and confusing most of the time. Maybe I have a reason for that, something you never even bothered to ask about." You were so mad you couldn't stop the words coming out.
"Nobody's perfect and we can all succumb to mistakes, however, the way you're shifting the blame onto me is ungrateful. You're the one who hid things from me first, even when I confronted you with the truth; you were the one who, even though you had feelings for me, screwed over half the girls you knew and now it's all my fault? Grow up, Jungkook."
You took a deep breath, ready to walk way again, but not before saying. "And you know what's worst about all of this? I'm still in love with you even when you treat me like shit; even when you're the one with someone else. It takes a lot of nerve to be talking about honesty and hurt." Then you left him standing there alone.
He was as shocked as you were by the words you had spoken. You were so upset and hurt and he still had the nerve to put it all on you.
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
Rosé pestered you a lot about spending New Year's Eve with her. You made excuses and finally said you thought about spending it with your college friends, to which she replied, "Bring them."
You had no other choice than to say yes. She knew you were avoiding it because of Jungkook and she'd never let you. Your dad was spending the weekend out with his girlfriend, so you had the house to yourself. Yeri was also going to the party with her fiancé and of course that meant Jungkook would be there. You were scared of what could happen, but you couldn't avoid him forever
You agreed to meet Rosé earlier than the rest so you could help her. You can say you've never baked as much as you did for that night. It was completely worth it; everything was fantastic and the joy on Rosé's face was priceless. When your friends started arriving, you were already showered and dressed, ready to enjoy the night to the fullest. You opted for a simple yet elegant gold, open-back dress. You weren't much of a makeup person, so you just wore mascara, eyeliner and a soft red lipstick.
The night wore on. Some of their friends were already there, the music started playing and the atmosphere was pleasant; the only ones missing were Yeri, her fiancé, Jungkook and his date. You were currently on your fourth glass of wine when the door rang for the nth time. Jungkook entered first, followed by the blondie, Yeri and her fiancé. Apparently, they had arrived either at the same time or all together. This left you a little shocked; you hadn't known Yeri got along with his new girlfriend, she never mentioned it to you.
She seemed to have sensed your gaze because she immediately looked at you and grinned from ear to ear, heading in your direction. You don't know why the rest of the group followed her, but they did, including Jungkook. When your eyes met, there was a mix of feelings, something you couldn't decipher.
It was going to be a long night.
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
Most of the people were already drunk, you included. You weren't much for getting drunk, but tonight it was the only way you could pass time faster. Subconsciously, your eyes searched the crowd for his figure and there he was: always with a drink in his hand and always with that damn blonde glued to him. This time they were dancing, along with others. You were basically the only one out of place.
You decided to go outside for some air, took off your shoes and dipped your feet in the pool. "I miss you Mom. I wish you were here."
a voice behind you frightened you "I'm sure she's always with you, wherever she is." You quickly turned your head, noticing Jungkook's figure behind you. You didn't answer and your gaze returned to the front. "Can I sit here?" you nodded. There was just silence between the two of you.
"What are you doing here?"
"You shouldn't be out here alone tonight" You looked at him.
"Why?" He didn't answer, just snuggled closer to your side.
"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting out lately. What I said about the bracelet was really stupid and you didn't deserve it."
"No, it's not okay. None of this is okay, we're not okay. We're a mess apart and we're a mess together; we can't find a balance with each other and yet this connection between us remains so strong that we can't even stand on the same room" He turned fully to you. " I don't want to feel this way towards you." Tears threatened to fall at any moment and you had to look up to try to control them.
"I'm really really sorry for how things turned out. I should've let you speak, listen to your side of the story. I know you Jungkook, believe me when I say I know you'd never play me like that, but my past got the best of me and I let you down. I'll never forgive myself for how I behaved." You wiped away the tears running down your face. "I hated Yeri so much for what she did to you and look at me doing worse."
Silence grew between you. "If only you had just let me in." Jungkook whispered before looking at the full moon in front of you. " I wanted to know it all Y/n; your traumas, your pains, your healings. I saw the best in you and I'm sure I could see the worst and I'd still choose you."
"I'm so scared that when you know the truth, you look at me the way others did when they found out. I was scared you would reject me, realize that I'm not that strong, that I'm rotten inside." you breath out and look at him. " I've spent so many years in therapy and I've never been able to open up to anyone like I did with you. And you had such a positive impact on me, I didn't want to ruin that. I can't feel a tidy bit of happiness without it being ripped away from me in seconds."
Jungkook turned your head so you'd look at him and with his thumb he wiped the tears falling down your face. "I'd always be here for you if you truly wanted me to be." You noticed how his voice trembled. You also could smell the alcohol from his breath.
"I'd stop my life to be with you Y/n. I know I didn't do certain things right, but I always put you above everyone else in my life, including myself. As much as I tried to deny it I think I fell in love with you soon after meeting you, but I was so scarred from my previous relationship I prefered to ignore those feelings. When I finally accepted them and acted out, you rejected me. There I knew you didn't feel the same way by the way you described me that night. I was devastated and fucked up with you. When we reconnected again you were already with Peter, that's when I decided to give it a shot with Sophia, yet all I could think about was you."
He grabbed the sides of your head and rested his forehead against yours. "Even now, everything about you drives me crazy and I don't know how healthy that is for us. When I saw your photos with other guys days after you left, it completely broke me and I was so, so angry with you. And when you came back, I was forced to assimilate all my emotions, my feelings, the way I felt every time I remembered how you left me."
You closed your eyes and placed your hands over his, brushing your nose against his. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel less than you deserve." He shook his head.
"Everything happens for a reason and I think through all of this, I realized we work better as friends. We never disagreed as friends and I don't want to lose you. Despite everything, you're still someone very important to me and I want you in my life, even if it's just as a friend."
When you heard the word friend your touch on him stopped. Now you understood he was only there to finally put an end to your story. Friends.... friends who know the way each other taste, friends who made each other cum more times you can count on your hands, friends who know the way you moan each others name.
"Just friends?" You don't even notice the words coming out of your mouth until he nods.
"Just friends. That's all I can give you right now." You pulled away from him and nodded. "Okay" you whisper.
What could you possibly say? You were the one who threw everything away and would rather be just friends than have no relationship with him at all. After all, you two would cross paths many times because of Tae and Rosé, it was bond to happen. You stared at each other for who knows how long until you started hearing the sounds of fireworks.
"Happy New Year, Y/n."
"Happy New Year, Kook."
It's been a long time since you stopped believing in the old saying "new year, new me." If you didn't change, things wouldn't miraculously change and that was just the most ridiculous thing to believe. Deep down, it was basically a way for people to alleviate the guilt of past mistakes.
Your life remained the same, you remained the same. You were focusing on working on yourself, as you had been before. After your talk with Jungkook, you felt somewhat relieved. You no longer had to think about all the steps you took to avoid meeting him, or fear running into him and him looking at you as if he never wanted to see you again.
Of course, you weren't the best of friends and you didn't talk like you used to. But your group chat became more active; when he walked into the gym, you no longer felt the need to run away from him; you no longer felt apprehensive when you ran into him at your best friend's house. Slowly things were getting back to where they should be.
School had started again, but now you'd come home every weekend. You also met your dad's new girlfriend, Jenna. Although it was awkward at first, you ended up getting along really well. When Peter's parents showed up at your house to apologize for their son's crazy behavior, she was the one who wiped your tears and soothed your heart; when you told her about your situation with Jungkook, she was the one who told you if he was meant to be, one way or another, he would find his way to be with you. This became your motto:
«Whatever's meant to be will be»
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
One day before Yeri's wedding and she was a bundle of nerves.
It was only a few hours away and she was completely frantic because of the catering. Apparently, they' had made a mistake, which Kyle was trying to fix, but it was enough to keep her from calming down. You approached her and gently pushed her to sit on the bed.
"Either you calm down or you'll end up having the baby right here." That was enough to calm her down a bit. "Kyle will take care of everything. There's no point in being so nervous; you'll end up not enjoying anything tomorrow. People won't even notice." She sighed but agreed with you.
Her belly was already showing, but because she wore looser clothes and had good genetics, she was able to hide it pretty well. Her wedding dress was also designed to hide her belly, since they wouldn't reveal it to everyone until later in the evening. She was already six months pregnant and glowing. You had never seen a pregnant woman as beautiful as her, so calm and so fulfilled.
When you were together, she often asked you if you could imagine yourself pregnant, to which you replied yes. And it wasn't a lie. You loved children and over the years that feeling grew. Now, following her pregnancy, you can't help but wonder when it will be your turn. You always wanted to be a mother early and be able to accompany your children in all their dreams; the only problem was finding someone decent to do it with. Someone like Jungkook.
You haven't seen him and the last time you spoke was a few days before you returned to college, when you went to get two more tattoos: your life motto on your ribs and a lotus flower, the sun, and aligned geometric shapes, which basically symbolize the path to self-knowledge and the elevation of consciousness.
You also changed therapists to the one Yeri found you and you can say it was one of the best decisions of your life. She helped you accept your past, not run from it. She often told you «to move forward, you have to accept what's left behind» And it was true. From the moment you accepted everything you had experienced before and that, above all, just because it happened to you doesn't make you a fragile target, you felt a weight being released within you.
The fact that you also started working on yourself more on other levels and enjoying your own company also helped to this change. Everyone around you noticed.
So when you showed up at the shop to get two new tattoos, Jungkook was surprised. You agreed the day and time with Sophia over the phone and apparently he didn't know anything.
"Welcome back Mrs. What are you doing around here?" You smiled.
"I came to get a few tattoos. I spoke to Sophia a few days ago and she managed to book it for today." He seemed surprised and cleared his throat.
"Ohh that's great. I'm surprised, we usually talk about our clients, but she didn't tell me anything at all. I'll see if she's free." Fortunately or unfortunately for you, she wasn't and it would still take about 40 minutes to finish her client.
"Then I'll be back in a bit, no problem" you said with a smile. "See you soon then." You were just reaching the door when Jungkook shouted
"Wait!" You turned around "I'm available if you feel comfortable and don't mind me doing them." You inclined your head and walked towards his office. "What are you waiting for then?"
When you told him where you wanted them, you noticed him looking conflicted so you joked about it, "What's with that look? It's nothing you haven't seen before." His face turned so red he had to leave the room to get some water. Little did you know his face wasn't the only thing reacting when you said those words. It was already a challenge for Jungkook to be in a room alone with you, let alone to see and touch you in just a bra and with your ass up.
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
The day had started early.
Yeri had woken up early to start getting her hair and makeup ready for the wedding and you were there with her, since the maids of honor were also getting their makeup done by the same person. She was super nervous about everything and longing to be around Kyle again. He had stayed with Jungkook last night while you stayed with her. Being the groomsmen, it was like an "obligation" to keep an eye out for them.
With your makeup done and your dress on, it was time to help her get dressed while the photographer took tons of pictures. While she wore a beautiful long white dress with pearl and diamond embellishments on the chest, your dress was a burgundy one, off-the-shoulder, wth a slit in the leg. It was the first time you felt so beautiful and confident in a dress. The gym was finally showing results
Everything was going as planned and when the church music began to play, it was time for the bridesmaids and then the bride to enter. As you entered, you came face to face with a very emotional Kyle. Beside him was Jungkook, wearing a black suit and a tie matching the color of the bridesmaids' dresses. He was so handsome, so perfect, that for a split second you imagined what it would be like if he was the one waiting for you at the altar.
Of course that image faded when, as you approached the altar and took your proper place, your eyes went up to the blonde woman who always stood with him. You quickly looked away, your gaze falling on Jungkook, who in turn glanced at you guiltily, noticing where your gaze had gone. You smiled at him and turned your head to watch the bride enter.
This was her day and that's all you should focus on
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
The ceremony was beautiful and you cried your eyes out. As soon as you arrived at the venue, everyone dispersed to eat and drink. You simply stood there watching and analyzing everyone's reactions to the food and making sure everything was okay. Since you didn't know anyone there besides Jungkook and of course he was the last person you were going to talk to, you ended up spending more time with the other bridesmaids; you had no other choice.
During the afternoon, there was plenty of music and activities for the guests and most importantly: an open bar. It would undoubtedly be your best friend for the night. Right now, you wanted to erase things from your mind.
Erase how during the wedding lunch you had a perfect view of the table where Jungkook and his partner were sitting and how she couldn't keep her hands to herself, how careful he was with her. It was so unsettling that you asked the other bridesmaid if she wouldn't mind switching seats with you to avoid that vision. Other than that, you didn't cross paths with him much. When things calmed down, Yeri finally came over to you.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" You weren't expecting her and were a little startled.
"Yes, dear. In general, I think everyone is. There's food, there's drink, and there's room to socialize and dance, what's not to like?" You laughed playfully. "This is wonderful Yeri, congratulations! You truly deserve all of this," you said excitedly.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Of course." Then Yeri's gaze shifted to Jungkook. "Have you had a chance to talk to him yet?"
"No, I haven't even tried honestly. Although this is nothing you have to be concerned about. Today is yours and Kyle's day and I don't want you to think about anything else. That's not what we're aiming for today." Yeri was silent for a few minutes, as if her mind was planning something.
"Aren't you the one who knows how to play the guitar?" You looked confused. "Yes?" you replied, a little doubtful. Yeri stands up and grabs your hand to follow her.
"Remember that song you played for me one day that you hadn't finished yet? Did you finish it?"
"Yes, I did, but I'm not going to play it Yeri. How embarrassing. That's not—"
"Please play it. For me. It would be the perfect song for the guests to dance to and for us to follow up with the reception."
Heading toward the DJ with Yeri, she asks to give up his seat for you and walks away as if nothing was happening, winking at you. You walk up on stage, but until now, there weren't many eyes on you, as everyone was busy talking and drinking. You sat on a small stool on the stage, adjusted your guitar on your lap and tapped the microphone with one finger. This started to draw people's attention, who gathered closer to the foot of the stage.
"Hello everyone, my name is Y/n and first of all I want to apologize to interrupt this fantastic momento to celebrate the love of our dear Yeri and Kyle." When you started seeing the crowd gathered in front of you, your heart started to pound.
Damn, you had never done this before; you've always been a super shy person and now you were going to risk singing for hundreds of people for love. If this doesn't make Jungkook realize something, nothing will.
"We're all gathered here to celebrate the love between two wonderful people and it makes me wonder: how many of us are here with our significant other or with our hearts filled with someone?" At this, most people raise their hands or just shouts. "Yeah well, just like you I've had my heart filled with someone for a long time, but unfortunately, I made the mistake of abandoning the ship when things got tough and I lost that person's trust and hurt him deeply, even if intentionally."
Your voice began to crack. "I'm not good at expressing myself directly, my words always get confused and I always end up saying the wrong thing so I wrote a song about everything this person makes me feel. I hope you like it." And so you began the first chords on the guitar, singing sweetly:
“ You and I we’re bound by invisible string Oceans, sky lines, nothing could come in-between Cos I met a guy that my dad approves of, that sunset kinda love that I used to dream of; Sleeping bags, up late, camping on the roof top Now I’m looking at the stars it reminds me that I wanna be
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are
Where you are Where you are Tell me I’ll always be the first thing you think of when you’re waking up The place you call home and the name on the tip of your tongue
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are
First game I saw, you said come meet my friends at the bar We went back through London you were blasting my songs out the car Singing shout out to my ex at the top of your lungs I’m learning the offside rule like it’s a sign of true love When I met you my past said to run but now there’s nowhere in this world that I’d rather be than
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are
Where you are Where you are Tell me I’ll always be the first thing you think of when you’re waking up The place you call home and the name on the tip of your tongue
Where you are Where you are I wanna be wherever you are”
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
The night air was cool, threaded with the hum of laughter and distant music. Fairy lights draped across the garden shimmered like stars caught between branches. You slipped outside, the edges of your dress brushing against your legs, your fingers still trembling from the song you’d just sung.
You sat on the wooden bench by the edge of the lawn, a glass of champagne cradled in your hand. The sound of celebration faded behind you — replaced by a quiet that almost felt too heavy. Then, you heard footsteps.
“Was that for me?” His voice — familiar, unsteady, a little breathless — drifted through the dark.
You looked up. Jungkook stood a few steps away, his tie loosened, eyes fixed on you with a mixture of awe and uncertainty. For a moment, neither of you spoke. You just stared, as if afraid words might shatter the fragile calm between you.
Finally, you nodded. “Yes it was. I wrote it after I left. I missed you so much and our memories flashed through my head every day I ended up having to get it on paper. I didn’t know what else to do” you admitted. “I thought if I stayed quiet, if I kept pretending I was fine, I’d stop missing you, however, it never happened.”
Jungkook lowered his head for a moment, his hands curling into fists before he let them relax again. “I was angry,” he said quietly. “Angry that you left, angry that I let you. it hurts too fucking much to keep waiting.”
For a moment, it was just the two of you — no music, no crowd, just the sound of your heartbeats finding the same rhythm again. He reached out, brushing his thumb along your jawline, his touch soft but deliberate.
“I don’t know how to start over,” you whispered
“Then don’t,” he said, his voice low, warm, sure. “Let’s just keep going from here.”
You felt the sting of tears, the relief of finally letting go. The distance that had lived between you dissolved with every breath. And when he leaned in — slowly, giving you time to pull away, to decide — you didn’t. His forehead rested against your, and you both exhaled at the same time, a shared surrender “we always find our way back.”
You smiled through your tears. The lights from inside flickered across his face and for the first time in months, you saw it — not the anger, not the pain — but the warmth that had always drawn you in. He took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours and you knew this wasn’t about going back. It was about finally being ready to move forward. Together.
Back inside, the music swelled — a slow song, soft and unhurried. Guests swayed under the golden lights, their laughter low and full of wine. You stood at the edge of the dance floor, unsure if you should stay. Then you felt it — a touch at your waist, gentle, familiar.
"Dance with me?" he asked quietly. You turned to him, heart racing, and nodded. The world seemed to fade as his hand found the small of your back, the other clasping yours as the music slowed.
You couldn't help but ask, "what about the girl you're with?"
"Somi? She's super into the party with some friends. My sister is a social butterfly; she gets along with everyone." your mouth felt dry.
You started laughing out loud and ran your hands over his hair, leaning closer. "I love you." You never thought you'd say those words, much less be the first to say them.
"I love you with all my heart and I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it." You rested your forehead against his
"I promise to be better and do better; I've been working on my communication with others and I'll continue to do so with you; I'll show you every day that I'm better than the girl you met a few years ago; I'll show you love can be the most amazing thing if you give me the chance. Tell me I still have a chance to be happy with you"
It was rare to see Jungkook this emotional. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as he closed the space between you and kissed you deeply, hugging you so tightly you could hear his heartbeat
"You never missed a chance, Smarty Pants. Since day one you've had my heart. I'm madly in love with you; no matter where I look, I always see you. We'll work for each other as long as you promise me you won't shut me out again. No matter how much it hurts, I want to know it all baby.
Baby. How good it felt to hear it from him again
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
As soon as you walked back in, Yeri pulled you aside to congratulate you. "Why didn't you tell me that girl was Jungkook's sister?" she smiled.
"Because you needed to open your eyes for yourself and the best way was for you to understand you could lose him forever." Your mouth opened only to close again. You had nothing to say: she was completely and utterly right.
Shortly after Jungkook, Kyle and Somi were at your side. Jungkook had two drinks in his hand, one for him and one for you. By this time, the guests were all at different tables, so you went to sit at his table too.
You ate, drank, danced, kissed and above all had so much fun your feet were hurting. Yeri had already revealed to everyone else she was pregnant and was expecting a baby boy. Now, it was time for the bride to throw her bouquet. You went just for fun; you never imagined you would actually be the one to catch it. When you went up to Jungkook again, the only thing he said was "we have to follow tradition". You punched him in the arm, while he pulled you by the waist to kiss you
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
The ride home is quiet in that perfect way — the kind where silence doesn’t feel like distance. The city hums around you, headlights streaking across the windshield like falling stars. You’re holding the bouquet in your lap, it still smells like champagne and laughter.
Jungkook’s hand finds yours on the console without thinking. neither of you move it away. Inside, the house feels softer than usual. His jacket still smells faintly like his cologne when he drapes it over your shoulders. The clock says almost 3 a.m., but the night feels wide awake.
Somi decided to stay behind with her friends leaving the house just for you and him. The sexual tension between the two of you was running high. His voice trembled when he whispered your name, as if saying it might break the fragile air between you.
You didn't answer, just reached out, brushing your fingertips against his jaw. His thumb traced the corner of your lip; your breath caught. The space between you vanished and the world felt smaller, quieter — just the sound of wind and two people remembering what it felt like to be home, in each others arms
He picked you up and led you to his room, a place you were already somewhat familiar with. Everything was the same except for the photos that had been hanging there before. Although one of Yeri was still there, there was also one of the two of you and another of your best friends.
You sat on the bed, him standing in front of you." I need you so much Y/n" His breath hitched in his throat at the image forming in his mind, you sitting on the bed, grabbing him by his hips with a hungry and pleading look in your eyes.
You bite your lip and he thinks just how good that mouth of yours would look wrapped around his cock. "Fuck, you are so stunning. I need you to-" he said, panting as you lowered down.
"Fuck my mouth." You could see the glint of his eyes widening, and you dropped to your knees. He was surprised.
You licked the tip of his cock and it pulsed, leaking a drop through his pants. Next thing you knew his pants were open, his cock out over his waistband and its hot tip pressing insistently against your lips, tasting faintly of salt. Parting your lips to take his cock, you hesitated, looking up to him, your gaze clouded with passion and the darkness surrounding.
"I meant it." you said and unhinged your jaw as best you could, taking the first inches of him into your mouth. What started slow ended up on him thrusting hard and fast into your mouth, while you sputtered a bit in surprise. You pulled back, then plunged down again and he placed one large hand behind your head before pounding even deeper down your throat, before pulling back again, just enough to allow you a breath only to jackhammered down your throat, too quickly for you to even work on being ready or open for it, stretching the depths of your gullet wide around his thick cock as you gagged and moaned in desperation
He cried out and you felt him pulsating- even thicker, in those moments- as his load poured deep down into you and you pushed tight against his mound as he released his final spurts. "Fuck, that was the best blowjob I ever had. You're so good with your mouth"
"Please fuck me Jungkook. I can' wait anymore I need you deep inside me now" You sucked in a breath as you felt Jungkook slide a finger between your lower lips as you felt Jungkook’s finger teasing at your entrance, not penetrating yet, but taunting you with the idea until finally, agonizingly slow, you felt his finger push inside.
You let out a relieved sigh, your insides quivering in response to Jungkook's continued ministrations to your clit and now the finger within stroking your walls. “Ah Kook that feels so good” He then inserted a second one, moving his fingers faster and faster by each thrust. You came within seconds
He walked over to this drawer to pick up a condom and get back to you, sliding his member through your entrance, making you a moaning mess. It wasn't rough, it wasn't quick. He took time on you, like he had to workship every inch of your body
and you loved every single second of it
✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧┈┄─╌─╌─┄┈⪧✧--
Morning light filters through the curtains — soft and unhurried. The kind that paints everything gold. Jungkook’s still half-asleep, hair messy, hand resting loosely over your waist. For a while you just listen to the rhythm of his breathing, peaceful and steady, something you didn’t think you’d ever get to have again.
Then you slip out of bed and sit by the window. The world outside is quiet, but inside your chest there’s that familiar ache — the one that always follows peace, whispering that it won’t last. You don’t notice when he gets up until he sits down beside you, wrapping the blanket around both of you.
“You left,” he murmurs, voice still soft with sleep.
“Didn’t want to wake you.”
“I’d rather be awake with you than sleep without you.” you try to smile, but it falters. He sees it, he always does.
“What’s going on in there?” he asks gently. You take a breath and it feels heavy.
“I don’t know how to do this right,” you admit. “every time things start to feel safe, something in me panics. like i’m waiting for the good parts to disappear.” he’s quiet, letting you speak.
“i’ve spent so much time pretending i’m fine, like if i don’t talk about what happened before you met me, it won’t matter anymore. But it does. Sometimes I wake up and I can feel it all over again, even when i don’t want to.” your voice shakes a little. He doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t try to fix it — just listens.
“I know,” he says finally. “I know you went through things that should’ve never happened. I want to you to understand you don’t owe me perfection, Y/n, you just owe yourself the chance to stop carrying it alone.” his hand finds yours under the blanket, fingers tracing slow circles against your skin.
“I can’t take away what hurt you,” he says, “but i can be the place where it doesn’t have to hurt alone anymore.” you blink back tears, breathing in the quiet between you.
“You really think I can do this?” He kissed your forehead.
“I know you can, you already are.” you lean your head on his shoulder. the blanket slides, sunlight catches in his hair and for a moment, you realize that maybe healing doesn’t mean forgetting, maybe it just means not running anymore.
It’s doesn't have to be dramatic — no promises, no speeches — just two people sitting in the morning light, learning that love isn’t the absence of pain, it’s the patience to hold it gently. He makes you realize you don’t have to be unbroken for someone to love you right. And only Jungkook could be the one making you feel this way, because, just like he said:
With your best and worse version, he'd always choose you
And this is how we end a chapter. I'd never give you that ending to one of my favourite couples. Thank you for sharing your ideas and thoughts with me. It was so important to have each and every single one of you with me. Hope you enjoy this just as much as I did.
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