:)

“Even so, it’s time.”

The discontent on your face makes it clear that you need more to go on that just that.

“You know, it’s okay to be scared. Not everything will change. Somethings never do.”

His hand in yours gives you an assuring squeeze. This eluded promise to you gives you more comfort than you’ve had in months.

There’s a certain longing for him, even pressed against you, hand in hand. The panic when thinking about risk of imminent loss cannot be shaken by his loving touch.

“I miss you.”

Head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around tightly. These aren’t the words he expected, somber I love you’s even when present. Those three words don’t have to be rationed, missing someone or loving someone. Sometimes they can be said loud and often, without loss of meaning between you and the person who you love the most.

“But I’m right here.”

A quite, confused laugh rang through him as you clung onto him for dear life, like a child hanging onto their friend when they had to go back to their home.

To miss someone before they’re gone is a pain reserved for people with bigger things on the horizon. Newer things, with even more change than leaving what you know behind.

You didn’t mean to cry, you weren’t sad. You wanted to go. This new adventure had been coming since long before you loved this poor man getting rained on by your very own eyes. There’s no such thing as permanence, everything changes- the only thing that doesn’t is people saying that some things don’t, ironically enough.

“I want to leave, I just don’t want to leave you.”

This he understood, not just because he gets you in the way no one else does, but because the thought of you leaving makes his heart feel weak. He promised that you would never know this, because he knew you needed to go. That he was once a selfish man you would never know, the way he loved you was beyond anything in his past, beyond anything in the world.

He began to speak, but thought better of it, kissing your forehead instead. Then your cheeks, your nose, your neck. Giving attention to physicality to sooth your emotions. Wiping the tears off of your face with a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love you. That is enough for today.”

And it was.

“Don’t ask me about tomorrow though, you’ll start to fucking cry again.”

You let out a long awaited laugh, he always knew just what to do. Just holding him was enough. Just his kisses, just his words. He was enough, you always knew this.

You would say goodbye, but there would be a hello afterwards.

• He loves all occasions, all holidays, any celebration really, his birthday is no different. He’s definitely one for traditions. The big ass cake, confetti, drinking, candles, gifts, the whole shebang. Personally I think he’d be the most fond of an annual “surprise” party. The cliché of yearly saying that there won’t be a party, but there of course is a party and the both of you know it.

• This party is an event. Everyone shows up, and it’s honestly not even for Sergio. There’s music, lights, dancing, copious amounts of free alcohol, people really couldn’t care less about who the party’s in honor of. This bothers Sergio not even a little bit, just the fact that there’s so many people makes him seep out serotonin.

• No matter how many people come, he just wants to be with you all night. Specifically dancing. The dance floor is just too tempting, he wants to bust a move. Don’t get me wrong, holding you, feeling you move with him is a large part of the temptation, but he also wouldn’t mind all eyes on him. Knowing everyone in the room is watching him with the most stunning person there, letting everyone see how lucky he feels. Again, he really does not mind the attention, I can promise you that.

• When the cake is brought out and everyone sings, you can see how grateful he is. To you, for you, for everything around him. You love seeing him like this, so undeniably happy. He’s a tense person, always carrying something that he doesn’t have to. Seeing his face lit up by the candlelight, his eyes crinkle, you see his shoulders free of weight. It’s a beautiful rarity anyone would be so lucky to see. After he makes his wish and the music begins again, he’d look up to you, lean his head on your arm.

• Once the party got too loud and crowded, he would step outside with you to get some air. Take a walk around underneath the stars, your hands intertwined together. If you asked him what he wished for you’d be waiting a long time for that answer.

“Sergio, it’s not a blood oath, come on, what was the wish!”

“Then it won’t come true! Why would you ask me to betray something so sacred, I thought you Americans loved your silly little superstitions.”

“I’m going to beat you to death”

(You did not in fact, because he kissed you on the forehead instead. This isn’t to say that this will stop you next time.)

• Once the party’s over and the band’s about to go home he’d ask them to play one more song, just for the two of you. Something slow and romantic that the two of you could share in an empty room with dimmed lights. Holding each other impossibly close, whispering though no one was there to hear.

“Did you enjoy the party?”

“Always. Thank you for the surprise, cariño.”