i'm trying to remember every single word you said, but there is a fog surrounding it and spiderwebs and I cannot grasp. i write down what i know of you so you can haunt me. i think of songs and feelings, i think of you cooking and i think of your hands going up in the air. i think of our time in the kitchen, smoking and drinking coffee. i remember we were both sad and together we were extatic. i remember our friendship was short and intense, and our eyes were glimmering of joy and connection. i think about how you said i was a good person, you said i was a very good person. and i wanted to cry in that moment because you made it true! and then i understood what love meant

grieving glasses ON

I literally don't know who I am anymore

i should rely mostly on my instinct, in fact

I don't know who I want to be, I just know I'm becoming her

going home to find myself again