mochi

you clenched your fists

“there’s no way I’ll continue to live like this while they parade about laughing at our pain. at dark, I will go outside.” 

your sister protested

but she, too, was hungry

your parents were sick in bed 

too weak

too frail to move

and you didn’t have the supplies to help them regain their energy

if they died 

you would have to submit official papers to the government 

and then

they would have permission to take you and your sister away to who knows where 

you couldn’t let that happen 

when it was dark 

you wrapped what was left of an old towel around your shoulders and over your head 

and slipped out of your hut 

the ground was sharp underneath your bare feet

and all the dirt that accumulated onto them didn’t bother you at all

you couldn’t remember the last time you had a proper bath 

you zeroed in on the large houses down the street

still bright 

you could hear the laughter inside

and the jolly music blaring 

you bit back the curses on your tongue 

the stupid government 

going on and on and on while all the people suffered under their tyrannical rule 

then you saw it 

the large boxes dumped out in the back of their houses 

you approached as quietly as humanly possible

although you doubted they could hear you over the sound of their wealth 

you lifted the lid of the box

jackpot 

half eaten buttered rolls 

chunks of good meat 

and even full slices of pie 

all piled in the box

food that would’ve been wasted if you didn’t come around

you carefully lifted the box off the ground

peeked into the other box

then picked that one up again

you heard a rustle in the bushes behind you 

you froze

if they found you taking this

you would be dead

they would kill you and your entire family

slowly

and painfully

you stared at the bush as it rustled

and gave a sigh of relief when you saw a familiar face 

your friend

Jimin

came creeping out of the bushes and lifted one of the boxes off your stack 

“hurry they’re coming back”

he bent close to you and whispered 

the two of you ran into the shelter of the dark

and crept back to your house 

you decided quickly that jimin should stay there 

so you wouldn’t risk him being seen by the patrols 

the next morning 

when everyone was allowed outside to work the fields 

you and your sister went around with the food you had taken

and distributed them to the other people 

allowing everyone a little extra cushion in their stomachs 

as you bent over in the hot sun to pull the weeds from the ground

you found Jimin by your side 

“They’re planning on getting rid of the sick”

he spoke to you in a low tone 

you didn’t let your emotions show

as you continued to pull up the weeds 

you took a slow deep breath 

“Jimin we need to get out of here.”

“you know we can’t take your parents”

you clenched your fists 

“i know, but I know they’d rather we be free than be subject to torture because of them”

Jimin nodded 

and so your preparations began

albeit slowly

you wanted to be as cautious as possible 

and have the best escape route

you didn’t want all your attempts to go to waste 

you stockpiled all the food you could

setting aside portions of your rations every day

drying out the fruits and meat 

packing it all in layers of paper in your personal chest 

you started picking up all the pieces of fabric you could find

no matter how small

piecing them together to create as many blankets and clothes as you could 

when you were outside 

two weeks before you were due to escape

you were stopped by a patrol officer

“your name is Y/N, right?” 

you nodded

“perfect.” 

a horrid smile spread across his face 

“you’re to be mine”

“w-what do you mean?”

he leaned down into your face

“don’t you want to be my prize? you get to live in my house and eat all the food you want. you wouldn’t have to be out there in the fields anymore. it is the best option for you. is it that horrid of an idea to take care of my kids?”

he leaned down further 

so that his horrid breath was in your face 

“but of course, you wouldn’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll just take your sister.” 

he stood up straight again

satisfied with the expression on your face

“you have three days.” 

and he walked off 

as soon as he was out of sight

you sprinted to jimin’s house

threw open the door and collapsed into his arms

he was shocked as he was just about to leave the house

when all of a sudden you had thrown yourself against his chest 

your hands clutching his shirt

breathing heavily 

he wrapped his arms around you automatically and carefully lowered you to the ground so you were sitting

he rubbed your back until you were calm enough to speak

“he- they- they want me to marry-”

Jimin narrowed his eyes 

“They want to marry you?”

“he said if i didn’t, he would take my sister instead.” 

Jimin hugged you tightly

“We won’t let him. We’re leaving. How long do you have?”

“he said i had three days to decide.” 

“then we’re getting out of here. us and your sister.”

the look in Jimin’s eyes showed he wasn’t going to take no for an answer

“but why? wouldn’t it be better for all of us if I married him? I could get everyone much more food and I’m sure we wouldn’t have to worry too much anymore as long as I remain in his good graces.” 

your heart screamed for you to think otherwise 

just being in Jimin’s arms like this 

you knew that you could never be in another person’s arms and feel this way 

but

you would rather you could help the people around you out of this wretched lifestyle

than just be with the person you loved 

“no. it wouldn’t be better at all.”

your heart skipped a beat

“Why? why wouldn’t it be better?’

it seemed like forever before Jimin responded

kissing your forehead gently

he replied

“because then I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

he embraced you even tighter

“listen, Y/N, if we leave now, we can make our plans from outside these walls. We can get stronger and find allies and then we can help everyone here. We were planning on escaping on our own anyway. We just have to leave sooner than we anticipated. So what about it? Are you going to do this?”

...

that night 

you woke your sister and wrapped her in your makeshift blankets

you kissed your parents goodbye

but didn’t dare to wake them

it was better that they knew nothing 

hand in hand with your sister

you gathered your things and hurried to the meeting point you and Jimin had arranged

you found him hiding in the shadows

away from the moonlight 

you ran as quickly as you could beneath the trees

until you reached the wall

there you watched as the guards chatted casually 

a distraction

that’s what you needed 

Jimin picked up a rock from the ground

and threw it as hard as he could in the opposite direction of where you were 

the guards took noticed 

and being as stupid as they were

ran in that direction

as soon as they moved 

the three of you ran out the walls 

and of course

the archers on top of the walls took notice

launching arrows down at you

shouting for reinforcements

Jimin shielded you and your sister with his own body as you ran

and you could feel the scratch of the arrows as they whizzed past your body

nicking at your skin 

...

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!” 

you gasped for air as you shot up from your bed 

sweat dripping down your face

Jimin sat beside you

his eyes wild 

holding a candle to your face 

“Are you okay? You were having a nightmare.” 

Jimin set the candle down and used the shirt he had discarded to dry your face off

you took a moment to look around you 

you took in the cozy cottage

the pretty curtains you and Jimin had embroidered 

you took in Jimin

in his nightclothes beside you in bed

looking at you with eyes full of concern

you took in the smoothness of the blankets and the firm roof over your head

right

you were safe now

you were away from that nightmare of a world 

it had been years since you had escaped

and you had managed to find a way to free the people 

now

you were living in peace with the love of your life

you sighed in relief

sinking down against Jimin’s chest 

“Sometimes I forget we’re safe”

your murmured 

he stroked your back gently 

it didn’t help when he was assigned to your office at the company 

when the two of you were old enough to take up positions 

to be your secretary

your personal assistant 

it was a cruel, cruel fate

you loved that he was always by your side

that you could see him much more than you had ever imagined

if fate didn’t permit you to love him

and for you to be by his side 

at least 

it allowed you to be with him 

even if it was only a work setting  

you always wondered if it was possible that he felt the same way you did 

but he was far too good at hiding his emotions for you to figure that out

did he value your time as much as you valued his? 

“Jeonghan?”

“yes, Y/N?” 

“why is it do you think that our families are so removed from one another? why does your family have to serve mine?”

he stared at you when you asked that question

as if it was something he never expected you to ask

“It’s an old tradition that they can’t let go of, I suppose. But why does it matter to you? Don’t you benefit from having someone at your beck and call?” 

his voice was cold 

“You know I don’t think of you as my servant, Jeonghan. You’re a friend to me, not a tool.” 

“There’s no way someone like you could want this system to change. If you’re trying to get me to say things against it and get me in trouble with your father, just be straightforward about your questions. Beating around the bush won’t achieve anything.” 

you stared at him in shock

was this how he had felt this entire time?

all the time you’ve spent together 

did he just see it as a chore?

a family obligation that dated back generations before you?

you had thought that you both made the most of the situation

but it seemed 

that your feelings were very one sided

he didn’t reciprocate 

and you didn’t know if that hurt you more

or if the cold look he had on his face as he spoke hurt more

...

“there has been a..... development.”

your father sat behind his desk and observed you and your siblings with a somber look

“the situation with the Yoon family has changed.”

“what do you mean?”

you asked but you were afraid to hear the answer

as much as it hurt you to see Jeonghan day by day

and know that he harbored such hate against you

you didn’t want him to go away

he meant too much to you

“we’ve looked over old papers, Mr. Yoon and I, and this arrangement that has been between our two families will no longer work out.” 

“what is going to change about it then?”

your brother asked 

“are we getting sued by them? are we going to have to repay the years of servitude? why is it only changing now?” 

“it was based on years of misunderstandings and those misunderstandings have finally been sorted out.”

your father looked somberly at the group in front of him

he sighed

and looked down at his hands

“one of you is going to have to marry one of them to seal the deal. to make sure that our families are never subject to this kind of arrangement again.” 

you froze

one of you

had to marry one of them?

you couldn’t deny that Jeonghan flitted through your mind at those words

you almost wanted to volunteer 

to say that you would marry Jeonghan 

for the sake of your families joining together 

“I’ll do it”

the words didn’t come from your mouth

but from your brother’s

“I’ll marry one of them.” 

your father nodded at him

“we will have that arranged”

your heart sank

was Jeonghan going to be your brother in law?? 

...

the next day at work

when you came into your office 

you saw Jeonghan had piled his stuff into a box

his desk was cleaned off 

“...Jeonghan? ....what’s going on?”

he looked at you and paused in his arranging for a moment

“I’m sure you heard the news, Y/N. I won’t be serving as your secretary anymore. I’m getting a promotion.”

of course

and that meant he was going to be in a different office 

you wouldn’t see him anymore

you cast a disappointed look down at your shoes

“i see” 

you didn’t catch Jeonghan looking at you curiously

“I’m not leaving this office. You’re not getting it to yourself. I’m just rearranging my things to suit my new work”

you heard him walk closer

and his feet was directly in front of your own

his hand came into view

held out to you

you looked up at him with wide eyes

“we’re working as partners now, Y/N. if you’ll have me”

he looked away

almost shyly

“i’m sorry for being so rude to you because of something you couldn’t control. I hope you’ll be able to put it aside so that we can work together.”

you beamed at him and took his hand

giving him a firm handshake

“guess you have to make it up to me then!” 

...

from then on

you and Jeonghan worked together

and you finally got to see the real him

and that only made you love him more

of course

the marriage still loomed over your head 

and you didn’t want to have to put aside your love for this situation 

“Jeonghan did you hear about the marriage arrangement?” 

Jeonghan paused in his work to look over at you

“Yes, I did. Why? Did you want it to be between us?”

that was not the response you were expecting to hear 

“Wha- What do you- what do you mean??? When did I ever???? Say such a thing??” 

you were flustered beyond belief

Jeonghan smiled at you and looked sort of shy again

“I.... I can’t say I haven’t noticed your feelings for me.”

Oh no

he knew

he knew you liked him

it was the end of the world

you couldn’t be more embarrassed than this

“I’m so sorry.”

you blurted out 

“i didn’t mean for you to- oh my gosh I can’t- this is so embarrassing- please don’t think that I want a marriage between us- i mean i do, but not in this sense-” 

“what would you say if I told you I wouldn’t mind?”

“i’m not trying to use you, I swear- wait what?” 

he walked over to your desk

and looked down at you seriously

“if it’s for the sake of our family relations, I wouldn’t mind.”

your heart sank

oh yes

that

“But! I also wouldn’t mind because you’re interesting and I’m attracted to you.”

you froze 

“I know what you must be thinking. ‘Oh but Jeonghan has been so mean! How could he ever like me.’“ 

he blushed a little and looked down

“I.... I’ve liked you for a long time too, but I couldn’t help but be resentful of your position. Of mine. I knew that we could never be together and so I tried to convince myself that you were just another one of those Y/L/N’s that were oppressing my family. But now that’s over and I felt like i really needed to come to terms with these feelings and tell you.” 

You couldn’t believe that this was happening now

he took your hand and gently kissed the back of it 

“would you do me the honor of being mine?” 

...

fortunately you didn’t have to go through with the arranged marriage to unite the family thing 

so you were free to be with Jeonghan

and take your relationship at your own pace

it was fun at work

sneaking around during work hours

holding hands underneath the table during meetings 

sharing knowing smiles with him as you laughed at inside jokes

and just enjoying being with him every day

it had been one hell of a ride

of unrequited love

but in the end 

you couldn’t be happier

you knew this as you stared at Jeonghan’s profile as he read his book next to you on the couch

he stopped reading and looked at you

“what are you smiling at?”

“nothing!!” 

“hmmm I wouldn’t say it’s nothing”

he teased you by tapping your forehead with his finger

then leaning in

...

the first Valentine’s Day to occur after he had left was coming up soon

and you didn’t know what to do

should you call him?

text him Happy Valentine’s Day?

were you even a thing anymore? 

what if him being an idol prevented him from interacting with you

for talking with you

what if he had some other trainee by his side to love and care for him as you did 

Valentine’s Day arrived

and you refused to leave your room

even at your parents’ insistence 

they constantly went back and forth from your room

knocking on your door

asking you if you wanted to eat anything

if you wanted to do anything

but you turned them away each time

you were laying in bed 

wallowing in self pity

when you heard a knock on your door

“mom I told you already. I don’t need to eat anything. I don’t want to go anywhere. Just leave me alone.” 

there was silence at the door

“Y/N, it’s me” 

the voice was so familiar 

it had been so long since you heard that voice

you flew from your bed

and threw open the door

and there he stood

Joshua stood there

with a bouquet of flowers and some chocolate 

“Shua, what? What are you-” 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N. I’m home” 

and all you could do in that moment

was throw your arms around him

you laughed

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Jeonghan. Do you have anything planned for today?”

“even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.” 

he teased 

he hugged you closer to him

and you drifted back off to sleep in his warmth

when you woke up again

he wasn’t in bed 

“Jeonghan?” 

you called out

hoping that it wasn’t a dream that Jeonghan had just been with you before you fell asleep

you heard the patter of footsteps down the hall

and Jeonghan pushed the door open

carrying a tray with breakfast on it

“Breakfast in bed? since when did you get so cheesy.” 

the two of you laughed as you sat up and he placed the tray in your lap

you eyed the tray suspiciously

“there isn’t some kinda prank in here is it? did you use salt instead of sugar on my french toast?” 

“babe!! I would never! especially since this is Valentine’s. I just want to make you feel special.” 

he reached over and took a bite of your french toast

“See? perfectly good” 

you gave him a kiss on the cheek

“thank you for this, Jeonghan.” 

“of course. Anything for my angel.”

you took a sip of the coffee

and then a bite of the french toast

...

...

“JEONGHAN YOU JERK THERE IS A TON OF SALT ON THIS FRENCH TOAST” 

“HAHA YOU JUST GOT PRANKED!”

“I hate you, do you know that?”

it was gone

disappeared somewhere in Indonesia

and no one had seen it

not even the staff 

you were very upset about it 

but you didn’t want to convey that to Cheol

when he told you

he was really sad as well

and concerned of your feelings 

you tried to reassure him that it didn’t matter whether there was a bracelet or not 

as long as you had him

and it was true

that’s how you felt

but it couldn’t stop you from feeling disappointed that you no longer had those matching bracelets 

and you couldn’t help but beat yourself up over feeling so sad over something that was just so

materialistic

it didn’t help that Valentine’s Day was that week as well

what a great Valentine’s present 

hearing that your boyfriend had lost your meaningful gift to him

especially since 

you knew that he was busy that week

and couldn’t spend valentine’s with you

...

coming home from a long day at work

you were shocked to find Cheol standing at your door with a bouquet of roses

“Cheol! What is this- I thought we weren’t doing anything for Valentine’s because you were busy!” 

“I thought I’d surprise you! Work is always hard on you.” 

He embraced you and together you entered your apartment 

inside he had set up a table and dinner 

and you could feel the weariness from the day at work fade away at the sight

“you really didn’t have to...”

he just smiled and led you to the table

after you ate

he took your hands in his 

and looked deep into your eyes

“Y/N. I just wanted to let you know that I’m very very very sorry that I lost your bracelet. I know how much it meant to you and it meant a lot to me too. I know this would never replace it, but I wanted to give you something.”

he opened a small case and showed you a beautiful set of promise rings 

“Cheol! Wow this- they’re beautiful” 

you let him slip the ring onto your little finger 

and you slipped his onto his finger as well

resting it on top of the ring he wore for Seventeen

“This way you’ll never lose it” 

you teased him

and he laughed and kissed the ring on your finger gently