Is heeseung aware of the hate that he has been getting recently? How does he feel about it especially because it's coming mostly from engenes who were his fandom for nearly 6 years. He probably feels so bad that a fandom he gave so much love and effort to would be like this to him
HEESEUNG/EVAN Λβ ΰΏββ’ β is he aware & how does he feel about the hate he's been receiving? reading!
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β is he aware of the hate? α¬
Of course he's noticed the behavior online, that peoples view of him & their words towards him have changed, you know it's just a feeling that it's different now, he's aware that the circumstances aren't the way they were. I wouldn't be surprised if it hit him completely out of nowhere at some point when he was exposed to it in a sense? Like it disrupted something in him such as his sense of stability for one. Okay so he definitely knows what's being said online, i don't doubt it, he might feel like something has very suddenly taken a negative turn, It's a stressful & it feels like a bad phase he needed to get through it
So he definitely knows, buttt he isnβt personally searching for negative posts towards himself nor is he obsessively following everything being said, he's simply aware that the public view & opinion around him has become more unstable & negative than it used to be compared to when he was still in the group or before his debut.
He's not living in ignorance at all, he's very aware of it. Now to be fair that awareness can come from many things such as social media, how people around him act, how his team does, or simply noticing these changes in the public. But i also feel it's more so social media or a mix of it all
β how does he feel about the hate? α¬
You know the first card i got was six of cups and i wanted to clarify it and i got the page of cups, these would be nice cards but paired with the question and the other cards, i would say that the hate he's been getting doesn't hurt much if it's from random people but what hurts is from where it's coming from especially.
This suggests familiarity, history, memories you share with someone & long term connections that are emotional. So when you take all that and put it in this context, it really makes me think about the years & years he's spent building a really close relationship with fans. This is him heavily remembering the past, it's vulnerable, it's not even aggressive it's just sad & nostalgic
There's a lot of nostalgia, comfort & him looking back at the past with this i don't know? purity, love, innocent affection. I feel like at times the hate does start getting to him and in those cases his defense mechanism is mostly to retreat in his mind & go back to his memories of better, more loving, safer times, like you know when you look back at your earlier days before shit hit the fan and everything felt more simple & just better overall. It's all just so vulnerable, sensitive & weirdly a bit naive. I just think the way he's processing this is with a very bruised heart, a tender easily hurt one, kinda almost like a kid who doesn't understand why people are suddenly being mean to him (literally while breaking down this card i got this image and remembered an exact situation like this when i saw a kid getting bullied or ignored by a bunch of other random kids when he invited them to play with him cause he had a ball & was alone, he kept trying to talk to then & get them to listen he just seemed so sad, ughh i feel so terrible now. Considering i just randomly got that i feel like that's how heeseung is feeling). He might be trying to distract himself with music & again better moments. But it's not easy, he seems like a sensitive guy.
He's sitting down and thinking βThese are people who supported me for years how did we end up getting here?β
I feel like he's heavily trying his best to protect himself emotionally. He's not allowing himself to sit in those feelings all the time and just let himself be taken over by it, not at all, he's infact trying to create some sort of distance from them mentally speaking. He's choosing to not dwell on every comment he sees because if he ends up doing so let's just say it would become insanely emotionally overwhelming. ( at least that's what he's trying to do, don't know how well that's going for him though)
I think he's being very mature & at least trying to make a healthy choice here, that being that he accepts that certain things are outside of his control. So instead of constantly trying to fight the reality he's in, he takes a step back, pauses, reflects & changes perspective for the better.
He knows well enough that public opinion isnβt something he can completely control, especially not anymore at the state he's in. Of course i am getting sadness, he's human he gets hurt but it's like a " i feel awful but what can i do?" type of feeling
To be honest there's a high chance he's not actually handling it as well as i just told you (i know i know). Because from someone as hurt as him as i got from the first part of this question, it seems pretty unlikely? I think it's a front he's showing honestly. So my other view is that he's like paralyzed by this basically. It's like he might be trying to avoid facing the reality in front of him. He's blocking it out because looking at it and all directly is just too overwhelming, so he's choosing to get away from it, to close his eyes to it to & protect his peace.
β how does he feel about the hate coming from his ex fandom ( engenes) ? α¬
I do get betrayal & deception (I donβt typically mention the names of the cards I get but for this reading, I know I keep doing it, but I feel like the cards are so relevant to mention in case anyone else has any knowledge on tarot. I got the seven of swords for this + with others...its deep) It's indicating that he feels really, deeply betrayed by them because he sees them as people who he thought had his back. It downright feels to him like a stab in the back. I mean think of it this way imagine having being an idol yourself & having fans you love & they supposedly love you, then those very fans who used to scream your name, used to come and support you & just so so much more, took all the love, history you had together, the connection you had together, the moments, the jokes & secrets, just literally everything and turned it into like weapons against you. It's almost a feeling of having something precious to him be stolen from him in secret (?).
This has kinda disorganized him, has made him a bit bitter & cold. I do think he understands that he himself also betrayed them in a way and they are allowed to feel mad but it's come to a certain point where he just feels like it's completely unfair judgment, that it's all just harsh words directed to him, they're almost manipulating him, other fans, stranger & his image. He just thinks there's a total lack of empathy. He feels like the fandom is treating him in a very cruel, cold way, that they're twisting facts & judging him without any sort of grace or understanding of the situation without looking at it purely from a fan/corporate perspective & without looking at the human side of things.
I feel like this has all become too difficult to understand or navigate for him. He now feels like he has to be really careful, to maybe become more guarded, because now he no longer knows whose support is genuine & whose isnβt.
There's a lot of disappointment in communication or in the way things are being said (by fans). I actually don't think it's even the criticism particularly that's the worst part for him, it's the way it's being said, delivered & all that's affecting him more. It's like him looking at everything they're saying & just thinking β i expected more understanding from you than this" it's disappointment simply.
Now with the cards i got for this question it would make me think he's bitter but i got the ten of cups as a second card?? So if he was extremely bitter, mad & angry i doubt i would get this card, at least it doesn't align with the way i interpret cards to see it in a negative manner even if some else can find a way.
Anyways despite initial doubt about who is actually supporting him & who isn't, he still separates the people who continue supporting him from the people who donβt in different group. So it doesnβt really feel like he views the entirety of his former fandom as being against him. He's instead aware that there are still people who are genuinely continuing to support him, to engage with him, wishing him well & staying by his side despite everything happening and despite others turning his back on him.
But still despite the love he has for a certain part of the fandom overall what he feels now when he looks at the fandom.. he's seeing people that were kinda like a sanctuary for him, a very big group of people that made him feel complete & safe. Now it's just showing me that he's mourning the loss of that perfect sanctuary. When he looks at the fandom now, the situation it's in, the split in the fandom & all he just feels sadness because that big, happy family dynamic he had in his head is broken. I guess he always looked at them and thought of it as love that is unconditional but nowwww yeah no.
Also i did end up getting the seven of pentacles as the last closing card for this question and when i look at the this card there's a gardner that's standing over his crops or labor whatever doesn't matter, he's looking at all the hard work he put into the ground for long time ( in heeseungs situation years) & in this context he's wondering if the labour is actually going to be worth it. So this is heeseung right, he's looking back at those nearly six years of intense labor, the sweat & tears, and dedication he gave to the group & the fandom, and he's basically asking himself if it was all for nothing. He feels exhausted, he's questioning everything, how & why the (again connecting this to the imagery of the card,) seeds of love he planted for years has managed to grow so much complete sudden bitterness, hatred & resentment, literally from the very people he built that harvest for
But i think he's being patient, he's waiting, and he understands that everything isn't gonna show itself immediately. He accepts that his relationships with fans has changed & he also understands that he needs to rebuild trust or he needs to be establishing a new audience, and that takes time.
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