Writing is loving

Lights will guide you home || Charlie & Jenna

It had never been about looks for Charlie, they were both beautiful. He felt lucky enough to have ever had one of them love him, never mind both. It was still something he thought about.. the ways he’d hurt Jenna and messed around with her head. He hadn’t meant any of it but he held onto the guilt. He held onto the guilt of a lot of things. He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t want you to do that again.. you shouldn’t lie to the police for me.” Still, a tiny smile appeared on his face as he looked back down. It was all very hard to think about never mind talk about and what he was doing was probably stupid considering -A knew about it but… surely if they were that sure of themselves they wouldn’t consider him a threat. Maybe that’s how he’d get them. “I’m.. trying to put everything together. Look for them. Find out who they are, at least why they’re doing this… there’s clues in there somewhere, we’re just never looking.” He was sure of it. Charlie looked back up again, looking bemused. “Trust you? Of course I trust you.” He did still need her in his life but it was hard to be around her and not feel terrible. He looked down at the table, tracing the pattern in the wood with his fingers. “It’s just that… I don’t… I don’t know how to be the man—” He paused and shook his head, sighing. He wasn’t sure how to finish that. “Do you think I’m a good person?” He asked, glancing back up at her with an expression that said he sort of expected her not to.

"I would still do it, and technically we're still married, so I wouldn't need to say anything anyway." Jenna said giving him a soft smile. "Of course I hope it won't come to that, but you know what I mean." Of course Jenna knew that she didn't hav to lie for him, but she would do it because she still cared too muc for him to completely let go. Maybe she should. Going over to Chrlie, generally speaking to him, she knew that Grant didn't like it deep down. that he still thouht Jenna was hung up on Charlie, which was the truth but it wasn't as bad as it sounded. Jenna just didn't want her old life go completely. "Okay but if you need help you can tell me." she nodded, trying not to sigh to loud. This was difficult because Jenna wanted to do so much more for Sophie than sit around, but she felt a bit useless in this. "Good, good. I just..." Jenna gave it a littl laugh. "We are ones to talk about trust." it was almost amusing to Jenna, considering they broke each others all those past years. She focused on the finger traing patterns, until he spoke. "Of course you're a good person." she saidwith a frown, surprised by this question. "You are one of the most caring person I know, Charlie. You are good." she reassured him. "We all have our flaws, you have them as well, but you're not a bad person.." Jenna shook her head. "Why would  think that?" Jenna reached out with one hand taking his hand, for support, squeezing it a little. "You're good." she smiled.

I’m definitely leaning towards it.. I mean, I practically run the place as it is.

Lights will guide you home || Charlie & Jenna

Charlie usually tried not to think about any of that. About Jenna wanting to leave him for Grant back then. In his mind, that meant she’d never wanted to be with him and had only stayed because of Sophie which he didn’t think was a good reason to base a marriage on. He’d never asked her more about it and didn’t plan to. She’d got what she wanted eventually. He also tried not to think about the fact Grant used to be his friend.. Harry too. It was difficult not being able to consider these people his friends but he didn’t believe it was just because of Jenna. He was pretty sure Grant just thought he was disgusting for what happened with Ruby. Which… whatever. He wasn’t going to lie and say he regretted being with her or end it just to make other people happy. If it bothered them all that much they were free to not look, comment, or think about it. Seemed easier said than done for most people and Charlie told himself that said more about them than about him.. not that it was easy to believe but it was easy enough to say. “I have no idea… maybe they’re just crazy.” He shrugged. “It’s probably better I don’t tell you.” No point dragging her into his -A scheme. Not that it was much of one since they knew what he was doing. Maybe it was dangerous.. maybe he didn’t care. “No.. I don’t think so, I just don’t really know what else to say.” How to start. Where to start. Maybe it was because he felt like he should be talking to Ruby and not his ex wife.

Most of the time Jenna avoided of thinking about Charlie being with Ruby, it still seemed so odd to her, not because of the age, well it was a part but not a big one, more because she didn't know what kind of person Ruby was, she was quiet for all that Jenna knew, and ugh she was really pretty, which made Jenna feel stupid again. She shouldn't be all about her looks, not anymore, she was past that time, but this whole thing had seriously messed with her picture of herself that on some days she still avoided to look into the mirror, counting another wrinkle somewhere where no one else would notice, but this was all stupid and she knew it. "I think.. you should.. you should tell me what you're doing, that's the only way you can have my back. I mean I don't know what you're doing but you already know I'd lie to the police if I'd have to... so... just tell me something." Jenna hated to be the one out of the picture, not knowing what was going on. She hated that she still felt like there was a Clare somewhere, running around. She was so behind sometimes. "You know what to say..." Jenna frowned when he refused to talk about the actual topic. "Don't you trust me?" she asked biting down her lip, she still wanted to maintain some kind of relationship with Charlie and if they could be friends, she would love it. She still needed him in her life, and she hope he would need her as well.