henlo

Ngayon lang ako nabakante pagdating sa love life ko nang ganito katagal at in fairness ha I’m genuinely having a great time with myself 🥺❣️

Putang ina tapos na ang first sem ko ever sa UP at proud ako sa sarili ko kasi nakasurvive ako!!! 😭

Yoko na magalter walang nagbibigay validation sa noods ko mamaaaaa sksksks charot

Hi. I’ve been wondering the past few days how you are doing. I wonder if you’re getting better at beating the shit out of cancer’s ass. I wonder if you still watch documentary films about poverty and other social issues. I wonder if you have a new hobby. I wonder if you wonder about me too. I wonder if you’ve associated sad and heartbreak songs with me. I wonder if you already have met someone new whom you talk to every day. I wonder if you have already replaced me, or if you intend to do so. But then, it doesn’t really matter anymore. What matters is that you’re happy. What matters is that you’re at peace. As for me, I’m not really doing well without you. I’ve been feeling empty since you left and it’s only actually now that I’ve managed to recognize that and admit it to myself. I’ve always tried my best to look strong, to keep away my feeling of wanting you back, to dispel any longing for you. I’ve done things to distract myself from your absence, if you’re wondering. I watch documentary films about astronomy, as well as other fields that pique my curiosity. I go out with my friends and family whenever there’s a chance. I play League... and I talk to a bunch of guys, with hopes of finding someone who can make me feel the same light, sparkly, peaceful feeling I got from you. Unfortunately, all my attempts were a failure. You’re still my home… and I feel homesick. I wonder if you feel the same way. I wonder if you write for or about me too. I wonder if you regret leaving me. I wonder if the reasons you told me why you were leaving me real, or they were all just your excuses for wanting to leave because you felt tired or unsatisfied of me. Somehow, there’s still this small flicker of hope inside me that you’ll stay true to what you told me during your attempts of breaking up with me because of your illness. But I don’t want to keep that hope aflame. After all, maybe you left because you don’t want me anymore and it had nothing to do with your illness. Sometimes, whenever I remember how much effort I put into our relationship to make you happy and how much I opened my heart for you to enter and let my walls down for you so that you see into my soul, and I see how we ended up on bad terms, I feel angry. I feel betrayed. I feel heavyhearted. It sucks, you know, to do your best to make someone stay, to keep begging them to give it another try, only to find out in the end that none of your efforts was enough. I want to get angry at you for it. But I’m trying to make peace with the thought that I should love not for it to be reciprocated, but because I enjoy it and it makes me happy. I’m trying to make peace with the thought that you made my life bearable and exciting once and you deserve peace for it. I’ll always carry with me the fragments of your soul that you showed me. It was a privilege to have known someone like you. I hope you know that I’ve forgiven you for lying to me about some things about who you are. I hope you don’t let it define you. I hope we’ll still let each other become a part of our lives when we’ve completely healed. I hope you’ll give me the freedom to reach out to you. I wish you the best.

I passed UPCAT!!! Thank you Lord 🙏

Hello. Today is a very very very sad day for me. My boyfriend was diagnosed with colon cancer.

Putang ina niyong mga cheater.

Tangina talo na naman tayo pano ba yan??? How many more times does my heart need to be broken pa ba im so sick of this i thought i finally found someone who would fucking treat me right after my heart and trust were broken by the person i used to love. during those moments, i thought i wouldnt be able to love someone again because i could never go through that pain for the second time anymore but this person came. he taught me to never shut the doors of my heart completely to anyone and to still let people come in. he reminded me of how beautiful it is to love someone and how wonderful it felt. boi can you imagine how much courage (or baka stupidity) it took me to finally be able to entrust my heart with someone again and can you imagine how fucking painful it is only to have it broken by that person? puta i cant... im so drained. whatever. there are things that are out of my control and life must go on. fuck him. im not crying for him right now puta may graduation pictorial ako mamaya.