i am report everybody, so you best behavior

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

#we can't afford to see a physician but we do get to see the hat man (via @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier)

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

Don't do this

Alright now I’m curious

Don't do this

World Heritage Post

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

unpopular opinion but I don't think there's anything weird or predatory about an innocent friendship

The question is why the fuck is a thirty year old hanging out with a 13 year old if not in their family?? The only other relation that could have them interact is through teacher/student and bring friends like that would be weird as fuck

found family? the kid not feeling safe in their house? the adult wanting to help? family / teacher / school isn't always a guaranteed safe place. should the kid and adult each have friends that are their own age too? sure. but if their friendship is genuinely innocent then I think the problem isn't them but people who project their weird and predatory thoughts onto them

They could literally just be neighbors. This whole isolationist thing of never even talking to the people you live closest to is new and weird.

I've been friends with teachers, religious community members, people who share my hobbies, neighbors, friend's parents and kids of my friends and my parents' friends, people I babysat for, tutors, librarians, etc etc, many of these both as the kid and as the adult in that relationship. Intergenerational friendships are vital for community and for functional development and personal growth, and they're a vital way to protect kids. If a kid has an abusive home life, where do you think they're going to get help and also a model of what healthy adult/child interaction looks like?

Marine biologist here: this is the giant pacific octopus, one of the largest species of octopus and cephalopod on earth! And while intimidating, and technically powerful enough to do so, most octopuses do not have reason or instinct to pull a grown adult into the water, as their natural diet is comprised of a very different prey of mollusks, crustaceans, and small fish. (And occasionally each-other) This guy was most likely just curious, as octopuses can have the mental capacity of a small child, making them one of the most intelligent animals in the world. And although yes, all octopuses are venomous to some extent, the potency of the giant pacific octopus, though painful, is not fatally dangerous to humans if treated properly, and is only inflicted through bite from their powerful beaks, which are rarely used on humans. it is also not typically aggressive to us, with only about 4 documented attacks on divers having been recorded in the past 25 years or more. As long as you are calm and careful, you will be ok. What an amazing experience. Protect your marine ecosystems so we can ensure a future for these incredible animals!

i want it to have sex to me

I don’t think the octopus would want that, as breeding for an octopus usually means the end of its life.

what, i'm not worth it?

I mean the octopus barely knows you. Maybe buy them a drink or two and go on a few dates. Learn their hobbies. I hear octopi keep fabulous gardens.

i will woo the beast

They need to make out sloppy style

Happy Pride

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

It has a name!!!