jellycoupon

You were seated at the bar of a random island, chatting with Robin, and stirring mindlessly your drink.

And Sanji hadn’t stopped staring at you since the crew arrived here. But it was simply because you were next to Robin. His eyes wandered to you from time to time, but the person he was actively admiring was Robin, of course. Why would him, a ladies’s man, stare so intensely at a man? A disgusting, disgustingly handsome man.

As the thought crossed his mind, Sanji shook his head. He couldn’t be possibly thinking of this. You were not handsome, not attractive, and even less blessed with very kissable lips. « You know, everyone in the room has noticed how you were eye-fucking him. » He almost jumped off his seat. He hadn’t heard Nami coming. « I am not. That’s disgusting. I am not a faggot. » He spat. And before Nami had time to retort, he left and sat on a bench outside.

Sanji lit up a cigarette, and looked up at the stars, as he took puffs from it. They reminded him of his mom. Beautiful and comforting, yet, long gone. His mock of a conversation with Nami came back to him, and it somewhat brought back memories of what his mother would say. Despite the constat assault he endured because of it, his mom would always tell him that his heart, and his love were the most precious thing. She used to say that whomever he fancied would be by far the luckiest person.

Sanji smiled bitterly. Those words couldn’t feel further from the truth now. Behind his flirty demeanour was a man disgusted of himself, and of his love. Sanji’s father had failed on many levels, but one thing he thought him successfully was that men should only be attracted to women, and if Sanji failed even for that, then his mother really had really been good at nothing when giving birth to him.

So, Sanji would like girls. It was easy. He could flirt a bit, act kindly, and not get emotionally involved. It had always worked. It was foolproof.

Until you came. And Sanji fell. Hard. And he had never hated himself more than then. He wasn’t a faggot, like his father called them. His feelings were clearly mixed up, and it would go back to normal soon. No?

It didn’t. The only thing that changed, is the layer that hid his feelings. Instead of simply considering you as friend, or a crew mate, Sanji learned to despise you. It wasn’t a rivalry like with Zoro. It wasn’t even mutual, or founded. Your only crime was to have proven to Sanji that he could love.

If only you had at least pretended to be a woman, for one night. Maybe then he could’ve told himself that his feelings for you were actually just that he had found you attractive in drag, just like he pretends to find attractive every woman.

But no.

You were a man, nothing could change that.

And Sanji, he didn’t like men.

He couldn’t like men.

The first time you see Sanji is also the moment you first believe in love at first sight. The way the sunlight reflects on his blonde hair makes him look like an angel, and only his sweet compliments make your heart melt more than his soft smile.

You spend a few weeks denying your feelings. As if addressing them will only make you fall deeper. Sanji is known to be a flirt, so maybe the way his eyes light up at your sight, and the way he pays attention to your every word, are not a special treatment but just is regular attitude.

Only, after three weeks of torturing your poor heart, you decide you’ve had enough. A broken heart can be patched up more quickly than a restless mind.

So you come to him, one night, when he’s busy with the dishes. And you ask him. If his kind words mean something more. If the treats he makes for you are out of pure kindness. If your feelings are shared.

And he freezes, stops midway, a soapy plate in his hand. He turns around slowly, and blinks, as if making sure that you are really here. He puts down the plate, wipes off his wet hands on his apron, before taking your hands in his. You don’t understand exactly what he says, but it seems to be something along the lines of “oh my dear love, I love you so much, I couldn’t love someone more than you, you are so beautiful how could I not love you” and other incoherent rambles. What you do understand is, though, is that Sanji’s sweet attentions were not just his regular chivalry, and that brings a smile to your lips.