who even knows?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

All of my base

Basically a newsie Lex Luthor but w/ hair and a lack of scientific know-how.

A horrible boss.

He only hired Peter because he can get pictures of Spider-Man.

Runs smeer campaigns and spreads misinformation.

He doesn't use his influence for anything positive.

He has a single-minded, ill-defined hatred of Spider-Man.

Only targets Spidey even though there are other vigilantes who wear masks in NYC.

He is willing to hire assassins to kill Spidey because he's that petty.

Cop boot kisser

Good JJJ writing:

Guy who built his company from the ground up and happened to make it big time.

A decent, if very loud and opinionated, boss who cares about his employees and is willing to risk himself for their safety.

Hired Peter, who had zero experience and was still in high school at the time, because he knew about Uncle Ben's death and knew this scraggly teenager and his elderly aunt were struggling financially. The Spider-Man photos were just a bonus.

Believes in the power of the truth and is willing to make retractions if proven wrong (even if he really doesn't want to).

Uses his influence to promote equal rights for marginalized groups (including the in-universe mutants).

Dislikes Spider-Man both because of trauma related to a masked mugger and because he's worried that the anonymity of Spidey's mask means that if he ever does go too far, then he won't face tangible consequences.

Part of why he targets Spider-Man more than other "street heroes" is because he wants Spidey to rise to the bait and prove him wrong, and also because Spidey's fights tend to cause more property damage then, say, Daredevil's.

Would only hire assassins and/or build anti-spidey tech as a last resort.

Refers to firemen and paramedics as "the real heroes." And also astronauts, because his son is an astronaut and he loves his son so much.

Once yelled at Godzilla, lived.

There's hiding and there's finding, we'd say. And he'd say it was hide-and-seek, not hide-and-give-UP, and we'd all yell about who made the rules and who cared about who, anyway, and how we wouldn't play with him anymore if he didn't get it straight and who needed him anyhow, and things like that. Hide-and-seek-and-yell. No matter what, though, the next time he would hide too good again. He's probably still hidden somewhere, for all I know.

As I write this, the neighborhood game goes on, and there is a kid under a pile of leaves in the yard just under my window. He has been there a long time now, and everybody else is found and they are about to give up on him over at the base. I considered going out to the base and telling them where he is hiding. And I thought about setting the leaves on fire to drive him out. Finally, I just yelled, "GET FOUND, KID!" out the window. And scared him so bad he probably wet his pants and started crying and ran home to tell his mother. It's real hard to know how to be helpful sometimes.

A man I know found out last year he had terminal cancer. He was a doctor. And knew about dying, and he didn't want to make his family and friends suffer through that with him. So he kept his secret. And died. Everybody said how brave he was to bear his suffering in silence and not tell everybody, and so on and so forth. But privately his family and friends said how angry they were that he didn't need them, didn't trust their strength. And it hurt that he didn't say good-bye.

He hid too well. Getting found would have kept him in the game. Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found. "I don't want anyone to know." "What will people think?" "I don't want to bother anyone."

Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is It goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found.

Medieval theologians even described God in hide-and-seek terms, calling him Deus Absconditus. But me, I think old God is a Sardine player. And will be found the same way everybody gets found in Sardines - by the sound of laughter of those heaped together at the end.

"Olly-olly-oxen-free." The kids out in the street are hollering the cry that says "Come on in, wherever you are. It's a new game." And so say I. To all those who have hid too good. Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.