Arrest everyone involved.
Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.
People killed: around three quarters of a million.
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
trying on a metaphor
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@jedi-bird
Arrest everyone involved.
Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.
People killed: around three quarters of a million.

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Some thoughts.
Kofi Tip jar
Hi guys!! Thank you so much for blogging. This post, into the one or two people who have donated to my coffee, I still need some more money in order to move away from my stalker so if you wouldnât mind encouraging your friends to donate even one dollar, I could really use your help!!! donations work best but thanks for sharing it around anyways!! X
Everyone is fighting a tough battle so reblog to give previous a sword đĄď¸
On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."
As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.
As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.
May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.
hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today
All these tourists having a great time at the World Cup isn't surprising b/c the first rule of America is that this place rules if you have money to blow and it's a nightmare if you don't. The prohibitively high cost of attending the World Cup filtered out all the ppl who don't have money so all the people who actually made it to the U.S. are basically guaranteed to have fun

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Boyfriend swears the tumblr bitches will love this so here it is
Acrylic markers on canvas
@grizzly-bear-official
the privilege of being an adult artist is the opportunity to draw characters from your childhood the way you like)
Donkey getting some shade on a hot sunny day in Greece - photographer unknown
Donkey about to get the fuckin drop on father konstaninos - photographer unknown
my science experiments are soo ethical. u can trust me bc i wear glasses btw
sometimes you really, genuinely feel it would be easier to die. but i promise that feeling will pass. even if it comes back sometimes. even if it stays for a really long time. i promise that if you find the will to, you can outlive the feeling.

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The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizableâespecially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
men are allowed to like the thing itself, while women can only like the aesthetics and the lifestyle and the shallowest parts of the thing. and this is super good and feminist and empowering and never actually think critically about any of this thatâs too hard itâs literally not that deep!
if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.
i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf
you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!
getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?
Whereâs that one post thatâs like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.
Reasons my human has cried:
* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.
* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.
* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.
* I told him Earthsun grew bright.
* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.
* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like âelephantâ and he âcouldnât breathe.â I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said âcuddleâ was warm.
* Before class he heard younglings singing.
* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew âbud.â
* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didnât care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.
* He missed âDoritos.â
* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.
* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.
* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named âcolorfulâ and âshiny.â These make humans happiest.
* I gave him hug when he wasnât expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.
* Told him to think long time, stay with me as long as he can.
Yes this is a serious, sobering story and I am an extremely big fan of leaving viral famous animals the f alone so that they don't end up getting killed or euthanized.
But also, this is the best article I've ever read.

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being an adult is just saying to yourself âthis is the weekend iâll clean my [x]â and then proceeding to not do that because itâs the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit
why does this have 85K notes
because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]
Cutest thing I have found.
Not mine. This belongs to @ruthesla.