perfectionism - never being satisfied

honesty - coming off as rude and insensitive

devotion - can turn into obsession

generosity - being taken advantage of

loyalty - can make them blind for character faults in others

being dependable - always depending on them

ambitiousness - coming off as ruthless

optimism - not being realistic

diligence - not able to bend strict rules

protectiveness - being overprotective

cautiousness - never risking anything

being determined - too focussed on one thing

persuasiveness - coming off as manipulative

tidiness - can become an obsession

being realistic - being seen as pessimistic

assertiveness - coming off as bossy

pride - not accepting help from others

innocence - being seen as naive

selflessness - not thinking about themself enough

being forgiving - not holding others accountable

curiosity - asking too much questions

persistence - being seen as annoying

being charming - can seem manipulative

modesty - not reaching for more

confidence - coming off as arrogant

wit/humor - not taking things serious

patience - being left hanging

strategic - coming off as calculated

being caring - being overbearing

tolerance - being expected to tolerate a lot

eagerness - coming off as impatient

being observant - being seen as nosy

independence - not accepting help

being considerate - forgetting about themself

fearlessness - ignoring real danger

politeness - not telling what they really think

reliability - being taken advantage of

And just like that, the ex lowered his shorts and exposed his jewels right before me.

"gusto mo?"

I could have used the occasion for that much-needed sex since I have been dry for the last couple of months. But then I realized that this is clickbait. my ex is a nice guy, but he manipulates well.

"pagod ako" was my curt reply.

"wala ka naman gagawin" was the rebuttal.

I asked why all of a sudden the invite for sex?

"bayad sa board and lodging dito"

of course, I wasn't asking and will never require payment for his stay. and he can linger as long as he wants.

"i am physically tired, you know....work"

he wears his shorts anew and sat beside me. like the stubborn devil, he whispers the nastiest things we both can do while fondling my ears...

"diba me partner ka? na sobra mong mahal? bakit wala ka sa kanya?"

turns out, the stylist-lover got fed up with his parasitic tendencies and asked him to leave.

"piloto ka diba? bakit ayaw mo mag work ulet?"

and came the revelation that he is dealing with alcohol addiction, that he got fat and he felt useless. hence, the dependency to people willing to be preyed on.

the kalibugan tension felt earlier shifted to a more somber conversation as he started to talk and it seemed that he was being honest.

"pinatawad mo na ba ako sa mga sakit ng ulo na binigay ko? yung pera na di ko na mababalik?"

i could only nod. i have forgiven him already and came to terms that he won't be paying me for all the money he got from me. Sabi nga ng matatanda, "ilista mo nalang sa tubig."

i called it a night kasi baka kung saan pa mapunta yung usapan. the only key ask is for him to fix his life. i can only provide space for sleeping and food, but beyond that there is no more.

his demons, on the one hand, he has to deal with.

lucyboyy:

Hi, just wanted to show you the tattoo I got of your art today. ☺

So there, I already came up with the idea of creating a mini vlog or video everytime I spend my day with me, myself and I, and so here it is!

I don't know why I really love using the Super 8 MM Film theme in my videos, as it is looks like old or vintage, well it really brings me to VHS or Old Cameras era.

Anyway, today is the start of long weekend, and I decided to treat myself in the place where I consider as Manila's best tourist attraction and that is no other than (drum roll) Intramuros! Actually, it has a lot to offer if you really want to talk about our history, and the walls tells it all.

It was so nice to get to know more the place, reading its hidden stories, and seeing how they preserve some of pictures and items from the past decades.

After walking around, talking to strangers and exploring Intramuros, I realized that it's time to get out of our own way and stop being our own worst enemy.

"Light painted memories (with you) : 04/28/2023"

"Light painted memories (with them) : 05/15-17/2023"